Romance in the 21st century, Opinions Please

[DonQuixoteindfw]

Hi Fellow Litsters,
I know that there is a similar Romance thread on the Playground, but we don't all make it overthere as often as we should (Plus there are a whole lot of active threads on there) and I thought I would bring something similar to the Darkroom Lounge. I would be grateful for responses from all.

My questions are these:
1. How do you feel about Romance, is it dead in the 21st century?

2. Is there a place for it in our society of instant gratification, the internet and delightful websites like our own Literotica?

3. Do you still find flowers, wine, soft lighting and soft music effective romantic tools?

4. If you feel that there is still a place for Romance in today's world how do you practice it, tell me your story?


Thank you all for your thoughts.

Don

 

[andyez88]

I know my girlfriend shell still loves the little things i do for her.

Last night when she got off work i surprised her with roses, and a bubble bath lit with candles.

She is 21 and i am only 22 so i would say for us, their is most defiantly still romance in the 21st century.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

I know my girlfriend shell still loves the little things i do for her.

Last night when she got off work i surprised her with roses, and a bubble bath lit with candles.

She is 21 and i am only 22 so i would say for us, their is most defiantly still romance in the 21st century.

Andy, thanks for your thoughts, it's nice to know that Romance still lives!

 

[SpecialKay62]

I don't think I know what romance is. LOL Seriously, if it's flowers and candles and that sort of thing, it's been a long time. Years ago, I came home from a particularly hard day of work and school and my husband had made dinner. It made me cry tears of joy! And it made me feel very loved and connected to him, but I'm not sure it turned me on.

Does that make we weird? Probably.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

I don't think I know what romance is. LOL Seriously, if it's flowers and candles and that sort of thing, it's been a long time. Years ago, I came home from a particularly hard day of work and school and my husband had made dinner. It made me cry tears of joy! And it made me feel very loved and connected to him, but I'm not sure it turned me on.

Does that make we weird? Probably.

Thanks Kay, In my opinion romance is made up of the little things, just like that. In making the dinner your husband did something that made your feelings stir. While flowers, and candle light are nice, for my first wife and I it was a weekly picnic by the lake, walking and holding hands, a look, a touch... the little things. Thank you again for sharing.

 

[DehviantGirl]

I know my girlfriend shell still loves the little things i do for her.

Last night when she got off work i surprised her with roses, and a bubble bath lit with candles.

She is 21 and i am only 22 so i would say for us, their is most defiantly still romance in the 21st century.

Hi Andy -

Your post and the spirit of your heart is sweet.

 

[CorpsNav]

i have an AWESOME idea when it comes to Romance in the 21st Century. LAY OFF THE TEXTS AND FACEBOOK! Ask the person you are interested in directly! Make it a person-person contact thing! Not a technology thing!

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

i have an AWESOME idea when it comes to Romance in the 21st Century. LAY OFF THE TEXTS AND FACEBOOK! Ask the person you are interested in directly! Make it a person-person contact thing! Not a technology thing!

Excellent suggestion! Thanks for sharing!

 

[DehviantGirl]

Apple Crisp

Romance, hmmmmm

I think romance is a state of mind and it's the rare mind that experiences it and holds steadfast in expressing it.

I have a series of images that come to mind from a single sunny afternoon at the beach when I was a young girl - maybe 12 or 13.

Not those kind of images I save those for another place

My friends were swimming and I was taking a break, laying in the sun warming up. We had arrived mid morning and so to had an elderly couple. The man caught my attention because he held the ladies hand, helping her as they both slowly made their way through the sand to a shady spot closest to the shore. She was wobbly and while his he was stronger I was probably stronger still. You get the idea - he was there for her, he was helping her, and he would not let her falter. I smelled apple crisp when they walked by.

Going to the beach has always been an all day affair for me and my friends. It was hours later after another go round of goofing off I was at my towel again - a couple girls snoozing, a couple in the water. The old couple still perched in the shade.

I don't know why I kept watching them but my eyes kept being drawn towards them. The woman was very pretty; white hair, blue eyes, tan skin - everything was just "old". Her husband had a hat on and I recall thinking I bet he had been very strong when he was younger. I also wondered if they'd always been so in love - never having seen such a thing in my own life. I wouldn't know what it looked like. I wondered if they had kids and if their kids were happy. Were they good parents? I bet they were. Of course I didn't realize then that their kids would have adults, but I pondered their history all the same.

I had been so completely lost in thought as I sat and stared I didn't realize I'd was crying. I just recall being so profoundly sad but i don't know what made me so.

Sweet right? Well, I suppose I was enjoying myself just fine - right up until the cold water hit me as my friends stood shaking the ice cold water from their hair and hands all over my nice warm skin. Laughing their asses off as they did. The bitches. Just kidding I love them.

We scrambled off to buy lunch at the concession stand and we we returned they were leaving. As they walked by I heard the man say, "today has been a good day honey". His eyes dropping to me and my group of goofy, giggly friends. He had tipped his head at me and smiled a sweet simple smile as they passed by.

I don't know how I knew, I just did - he was an extraordinary man and she was an extraordinary woman. Over the years I attached the label "romantic" to them.

Warm apple crisp with whip cream on a late sunny summer afternoon at the beach. Yep - that's what I think romance smells like. But, I sure couldn't tell you what it is - I can say I think it's elusive and fleeting and it exists as much today as it ever has. It's up to each of us to recognize it, seize it, embrace or toss away. 90% of the time, despite this experience... I toss it aside. I'm no romantic but I am enthralled with those that are.

And that's what I think about romance in the 21st century.

DG

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

Romance, hmmmmm

I think romance is a state of mind and it's the rare mind that experiences it and holds steadfast in expressing it.

I have a series of images that come to mind from a single sunny afternoon at the beach when I was a young girl - maybe 12 or 13.

Not those kind of images I save those for another place

My friends were swimming and I was taking a break, laying in the sun warming up. We had arrived mid morning and so to had an elderly couple. The man caught my attention because he held the ladies hand, helping her as they both slowly made their way through the sand to a shady spot closest to the shore. She was wobbly and while his he was stronger I was probably stronger still. You get the idea - he was there for her, he was helping her, and he would not let her falter. I smelled apple crisp when they walked by.

Going to the beach has always been an all day affair for me and my friends. It was hours later after another go round of goofing off I was at my towel again - a couple girls snoozing, a couple in the water. The old couple still perched in the shade.

I don't know why I kept watching them but my eyes kept being drawn towards them. The woman was very pretty; white hair, blue eyes, tan skin - everything was just "old". Her husband had a hat on and I recall thinking I bet he had been very strong when he was younger. I also wondered if they'd always been so in love - never having seen such a thing in my own life. I wouldn't know what it looked like. I wondered if they had kids and if their kids were happy. Were they good parents? I bet they were. Of course I didn't realize then that their kids would have adults, but I pondered their history all the same.

I had been so completely lost in thought as I sat and stared I didn't realize I'd was crying. I just recall being so profoundly sad but i don't know what made me so.

Sweet right? Well, I suppose I was enjoying myself just fine - right up until the cold water hit me as my friends stood shaking the ice cold water from their hair and hands all over my nice warm skin. Laughing their asses off as they did. The bitches. Just kidding I love them.

We scrambled off to buy lunch at the concession stand and we we returned they were leaving. As they walked by I heard the man say, "today has been a good day honey". His eyes dropping to me and my group of goofy, giggly friends. He had tipped his head at me and smiled a sweet simple smile as they passed by.

I don't know how I knew, I just did - he was an extraordinary man and she was an extraordinary woman. Over the years I attached the label "romantic" to them.

Warm apple crisp with whip cream on a late sunny summer afternoon at the beach. Yep - that's what I think romance smells like. But, I sure couldn't tell you what it is - I can say I think it's elusive and fleeting and it exists as much today as it ever has. It's up to each of us to recognize it, seize it, embrace or toss away. 90% of the time, despite this experience... I toss it aside. I'm no romantic but I am enthralled with those that are.

And that's what I think about romance in the 21st century.

DG

DG, I cannot thank you enough for sharing that, I found it both beautiful and touching. I think there may be hope for Romance after all.

 

[pwr2theblondes]

I think a lot of the letter writing, opening doors kinda romance is gone with my generation. The older men I have dated are more polite than the younger men I've dated. The best romantic gesture I think though is just the way someone looks at me. I love letters and flowers but there is nothing like the "I adore you" look.

 

[teknight]

@ Kate:
Interesting. I must be old then.
Well, FWIW, I am Old World.

As for the OP's question- why should the 21st century have no romance? There is no halcyon past, all glittery and beautiful and perfect. But we choose to glam it up, 'cause we like to frustrate ourselves, by saying the present sucks by comparison.

No offense, OP, but you're putting way too narrow a definition on what is Romantic. Just like Kate said, it can be something as simple as a look. It could be tandem parachute jumping.

What Romance we all (have the potential to) share is the inner giddy sensation you feel when you're with the one you love, or when you're thinkin' about them. Whether they spank you til you can't sit comfortably, or offer you candle lit dinners under the moonlight of Venice...that's all just window dressing.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

Kate,
Thank you for your views, the letter writing, flowers and the courtesy of opening doors are just gestures, to me Romance is about the intentions of the parties involved, that look you mentioned can be a part of the whole.


Teknight,
I do respect your opinion, my goals behind this thread are to determine how our fellow Litsters feel about the subject, if the "old" style of romance that I grew up with is a truely antiquated ideal, and if so what is taking it's place. To me the idea of a text message or an e-mail asking someone out or even over to have sex isn't romance, but hey I'm old fashioned, and if that's the wave of the future maybe I need to change to be more "with it"

Thank you both again for your posts.

 

[NestleSnipes]

1. How do you feel about Romance, is it dead in the 21st century?

Not at all. It might be hard to find a romantic couple or single in the world of Jersey Shore and swinger parties but they are there. Go to the beach during a sunset and you'll find a couple or two who will tell you it still exists.

2. Is there a place for it in our society of instant gratification, the internet and delightful websites like our own Literotica?

There will always be a place for romance in our society as long as people live with their heart. Now didn't that sound all nice and mushy? lol.

3. Do you still find flowers, wine, soft lighting and soft music effective romantic tools?

All of the above are quite effective but I think Romance can be displayed on a daily basis as well. I'd imagine many girls would consider it romantic if their man would dress nicely and take them out on a nice dinner, go and watch the stars with them or enjoy a sunset.

4. If you feel that there is still a place for Romance in today's world how do you practice it, tell me your story?

Ginger and I are more of the goofy couple than the romantic couple so it's hard to pin point times I have been overly romantic. That's quite sad. You've inspired me.

Good thread by the way. Romance is hard to come by on a site that's fixated on the rawness of sex.

 

[sexysecrets]

I don't really believe in romance.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

NS, Thanks, It's good to see others who enjoy the art of Romance.


Sexy, I respect your opinion, but I do hope with all of my heart that someone special can show you that romance does exist and can be wonderful.


Thank you both for posting on this thread

 

[Setanta84]

My questions are these:
1. How do you feel about Romance, is it dead in the 21st century?

I don't think it's dead, the culture kind of beats the traditional romantic narrative into us at every turn. There is someone uniquely special out there just for you and you only are assuming adulthood and an authentic life when you "fight" for that person and blah, blah, blah.

The most profound differences, I think, are just in delivery. Rather than breaking out the parchment and quills to send a love letter, for example, people in our age bracket--who are literate and have attention spans--tend to write emails of that nature and so forth.

2. Is there a place for it in our society of instant gratification, the internet and delightful websites like our own Literotica?

I don't think the information revolution really impacts it. If you care about someone, you make the time to show that. There have always been things to distract us and inconsiderate dicks have always let themselves be distracted by them. It's a problem of all ages, not just ours.

3. Do you still find flowers, wine, soft lighting and soft music effective romantic tools?

I've never been a flowers person. I like to match gifts to a person's personality. If she gives off the 'I like traditional gender roles' vibe and has expressed interest in a kind of flower, I'll get them. On the other hand, if she's more of a literary type and has mentioned a passing interest in a certain book, I'll get that.

The wine and candlelight thing... all the women I've dated have been more into cocktails and beer, but I have cooked for them after making cocktails, which they seemed to appreciate.

4. If you feel that there is still a place for Romance in today's world how do you practice it, tell me your story?

During the last go with a girl with whom I'd been just ridiculously in love, I wrote a letter that read, in part, like this:

I think that life is a thing to be shared. What is the most dazzling display of the most vibrant sunrise or sunset or the perfect and ever-changing shades of green of a tree's foliage in the daylight or a child's smile if you have nobody with whom to share the experience of those wonders?

For the brief time we knew each other, I delighted in sharing those things with you. I loved the way your eyes caught the daylight, your laugh, the way your voice would get husky when you told a joke, and the childlike quality of your voice when you actually decided to share something with me.

Also, you were one of the few people I met who realized the extent to which my day-to-day was a waking nightmare and didn't run from it, but rather tried to the best of her ability to see through the bars of my plight and engage it.

When I would tell you "I love you," it wasn't designed to flatter you or win you over. It was my way of telling you that you were the end of my experience of the sunrise, the sunset, the smiles of my nieces, and everything else that affirmed life for me. Being that, being you, and being at my side, those were the things you did that made me care for you.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

My questions are these:
1. How do you feel about Romance, is it dead in the 21st century?

I don't think it's dead, the culture kind of beats the traditional romantic narrative into us at every turn. There is someone uniquely special out there just for you and you only are assuming adulthood and an authentic life when you "fight" for that person and blah, blah, blah.

The most profound differences, I think, are just in delivery. Rather than breaking out the parchment and quills to send a love letter, for example, people in our age bracket--who are literate and have attention spans--tend to write emails of that nature and so forth.

2. Is there a place for it in our society of instant gratification, the internet and delightful websites like our own Literotica?

I don't think the information revolution really impacts it. If you care about someone, you make the time to show that. There have always been things to distract us and inconsiderate dicks have always let themselves be distracted by them. It's a problem of all ages, not just ours.

3. Do you still find flowers, wine, soft lighting and soft music effective romantic tools?

I've never been a flowers person. I like to match gifts to a person's personality. If she gives off the 'I like traditional gender roles' vibe and has expressed interest in a kind of flower, I'll get them. On the other hand, if she's more of a literary type and has mentioned a passing interest in a certain book, I'll get that.

The wine and candlelight thing... all the women I've dated have been more into cocktails and beer, but I have cooked for them after making cocktails, which they seemed to appreciate.

4. If you feel that there is still a place for Romance in today's world how do you practice it, tell me your story?

During the last go with a girl with whom I'd been just ridiculously in love, I wrote a letter that read, in part, like this:

I think that life is a thing to be shared. What is the most dazzling display of the most vibrant sunrise or sunset or the perfect and ever-changing shades of green of a tree's foliage in the daylight or a child's smile if you have nobody with whom to share the experience of those wonders?

For the brief time we knew each other, I delighted in sharing those things with you. I loved the way your eyes caught the daylight, your laugh, the way your voice would get husky when you told a joke, and the childlike quality of your voice when you actually decided to share something with me.

Also, you were one of the few people I met who realized the extent to which my day-to-day was a waking nightmare and didn't run from it, but rather tried to the best of her ability to see through the bars of my plight and engage it.

When I would tell you "I love you," it wasn't designed to flatter you or win you over. It was my way of telling you that you were the end of my experience of the sunrise, the sunset, the smiles of my nieces, and everything else that affirmed life for me. Being that, being you, and being at my side, those were the things you did that made me care for you.

Setanta, thank you, that was wonderful!