The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[1sickbastard]

and, you end up with one of those four-letter words--WIFE!

I put in a larger ring.

And you get a circus.

I put in a bear on a unicycle..

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And you get a circus.

I put in a bear on a unicycle..

But, it's really a monkey in a suit.

I put in a tuxedo.

 

[1sickbastard]

But, it's really a monkey in a suit.

I put in a tuxedo.

and you get a penguin emcee

I put in a hungry orca on the prowl

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a penguin emcee

I put in a hungry orca on the prowl

and, the lucky bastard swims into a school of fish.

I put in Nemo.

 

[1sickbastard]

and, the lucky bastard swims into a school of fish.

I put in Nemo.

And you get the Captain of the Nautilus.

I put in his secret lair under the Mysterious Island

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get the Captain of the Nautilus.

I put in his secret lair under the Mysterious Island

and Indiana Jones shows up to recover the Lost Ark.

I put in an irate curator...

 

[1sickbastard]

and Indiana Jones shows up to recover the Lost Ark.

I put in an irate curator...

G'morning Tio!

and you get the prized exhibit which turned out to be a fake.

I put in the hardboiled gumshoe hired to track done the original...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

G'morning Tio!

and you get the prized exhibit which turned out to be a fake.

I put in the hardboiled gumshoe hired to track done the original...

and she discovers a factory in China that produces nothing but fake artifacts.

I put in an emergency re-assessment meeting at the Metropolitan Museum of Art...

 

[1sickbastard]

and she discovers a factory in China that produces nothing but fake artifacts.

I put in an emergency re-assessment meeting at the Metropolitan Museum of Art...

And you get a conspiracy by the board to cover up the extent to which they've been fooled.

I put in a nosey academic writing a doctoral thesis on dadaist paintings...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a conspiracy by the board to cover up the extent to which they've been fooled.

I put in a nosey academic writing a doctoral thesis on dadaist paintings...

(Hi,1sb!)

and he finds himself locked in MoMA's storage vault.

I put in a Twittering Bird in de Chirico's town square...

 

[Handley_Page]

(Hi,1sb!)

and he finds himself locked in MoMA's storage vault.

I put in a Twittering Bird in de Chirico's town square...

and it fits just like the "twittering machine"


I put in a tube of Yellow No 5

 

[SweetMerry]

and it fits just like the "twittering machine"


I put in a tube of Yellow No 5

and you get the highlights on a happy little tree.

I put in an afternoon of napping and watching Bob Ross reruns...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get the highlights on a happy little tree.

I put in an afternoon of napping and watching Bob Ross reruns...

and you dream of a radio show on "How to Paint Abtract Expressionism."

I put in a sea sponge dipped in Hooker's Green to express the angst of a tormented artist's soul...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you dream of a radio show on "How to Paint Abtract Expressionism."

I put in a sea sponge dipped in Hooker's Green to express the angst of a tormented artist's soul...

And, I add a little white to lighten his mood.

I put in a putty knife.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, I add a little white to lighten his mood.

I put in a putty knife.

and the palette is scraped clean for another painting.

I put in a paint-by-numbers Jackson Pollock...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the palette is scraped clean for another painting.

I put in a paint-by-numbers Jackson Pollock...

And, that keeps me busy for a very long time.

I put in a quick photograph from a Poloroid camera.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, that keeps me busy for a very long time.

I put in a quick photograph from a Poloroid camera.

and a Smithsonian curator asks you to donate it to the museum.

I put in the last roll of Kodachrome...

 

[SweetMerry]

and a Smithsonian curator asks you to donate it to the museum.

I put in the last roll of Kodachrome...

and you get that Simon & Garfunkel song stuck in your head.

I put in a vinyl of their Central Park reunion concert...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get that Simon & Garfunkel song stuck in your head.

I put in a vinyl of their Central Park reunion concert...

and it gets stolen when you're mugged in The Ramble.

I put in a reminisence of Shakespeare at the Delacorte...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it gets stolen when you're mugged in The Ramble.

I put in a reminisence of Shakespeare at the Delacorte...

and you find a first folio of Henry 5th


I put in an old-fashioned printing machine

 

[SweetMerry]

and you find a first folio of Henry 5th


I put in an old-fashioned printing machine

and you've got to track down someone with the skills to illuminate the Bible you printed with it.

I put in a group of Renaissance reenactors equipped with gold leaf and mead.

 

[1sickbastard]

and you've got to track down someone with the skills to illuminate the Bible you printed with it.

I put in a group of Renaissance reenactors equipped with gold leaf and mead.

and you get a group of Xena-lookalikes and poets quoting Chauser & Shakespear like the two were contemporaries

I put in a group from The Society for Creative Anachronisms

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a group of Xena-lookalikes and poets quoting Chauser & Shakespear like the two were contemporaries

I put in a group from The Society for Creative Anachronisms

and they all meet at different times.

I put in 15 lost days in October...

 

[Handley_Page]

and they all meet at different times.

I put in 15 lost days in October...

and the calendar is resolved back to the mis-aligned Julian.


I put in a new bottle of feed.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the calendar is resolved back to the mis-aligned Julian.


I put in a new bottle of feed.

and the liquid diet does wonders for your mirth.

I put in 16 Men of Tain...