The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[YoursSINSerely]

with a loving atmosphere and no crowds.


I put in a bed of thorns

and, a velvety red rose blossoms from the middle of them.

I put in my Tiffany vase.

 

[Austin8]

and, a velvety red rose blossoms from the middle of them.

I put in my Tiffany vase.

but you get a Rosie Palm

I put in a pine beetle

 

[YoursSINSerely]

but you get a Rosie Palm

I put in a pine beetle

and, you get your loppers ready to rid the tree of the little critter.

I put in a bucket full of soapy water.

 

[Austin8]

and, you get your loppers ready to rid the tree of the little critter.

I put in a bucket full of soapy water.

and It's great for washing Tio, and the underside of plant leaves
I put in a so called wash rag

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and It's great for washing Tio, and the underside of plant leaves
I put in a so called wash rag

and the solvent smears half your drawings.

I put in a new-found appreciation for abstract expressionism...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the solvent smears half your drawings.

I put in a new-found appreciation for abstract expressionism...

and, you get a peek into the minds of an insane artists.

I put in bowl of finger paint.

 

[Austin8]

and, you get a peek into the minds of an insane artists.

I put in bowl of finger paint.

are all artist insane?

I put in a turbulent childhood

 

[Tio_Narratore]

are all artist insane?

I put in a turbulent childhood

(No, Austin; only the ones who aren't rich.)


and you get well-mixed pigments.

I put in a Navajo Sand Painting...

 

[Austin8]

(No, Austin; only the ones who aren't rich.)


and you get well-mixed pigments.

I put in a Navajo Sand Painting...

lol, seems the ones I tend to know then...

How's Hp doing?

I put in a query about our friend across the pond...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

lol, seems the ones I tend to know then...

How's Hp doing?

I put in a query about our friend across the pond...

and we all wait with 'bated breath in hopes of good news.

I put in a request for a titanium/teflon bicondylar replacement...

 

[Austin8]

and we all wait with 'bated breath in hopes of good news.

I put in a request for a titanium/teflon bicondylar replacement...

but it comes in solarium and diamond, Im sure the aliens can assist

I put in a rare crystal

 

[Tio_Narratore]

but it comes in solarium and diamond, Im sure the aliens can assist

I put in a rare crystal

and it diffracts the visible spectrum into a continuum of erotic wavelengths.

I put in a flight with Flesh Gordon...

 

[pathology_liz]

and it diffracts the visible spectrum into a continuum of erotic wavelengths.

I put in a flight with Flesh Gordon...

but it turns out they are remaking ALL the old great porn flicks, (Tron or was it Dong the current massacre)

I put in Steve Mcqueen

 

[YoursSINSerely]

but it turns out they are remaking ALL the old great porn flicks, (Tron or was it Dong the current massacre)

I put in Steve Mcqueen

and, you get a very nice model of a red hot sportscar.

I put in a Disney flick.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you get a very nice model of a red hot sportscar.

I put in a Disney flick.

and it's cryogenically frozen until a cure for its problems is discovered.

I put in a Max Fleischer Betty Boop 'toon...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it's cryogenically frozen until a cure for its problems is discovered.

I put in a Max Fleischer Betty Boop 'toon...

and, she twists and turns into a provactive pose, then covers her mouth to stiffle a little giggle.

I put in a Tazmanian Devil.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, she twists and turns into a provactive pose, then covers her mouth to stiffle a little giggle.

I put in a Tazmanian Devil.

and you get the time of your life.

(I once had a student drop a class, giving as a reason "the teacher makes me think of the Tasmanian Devil. He's always whirling around the room. I can't concentrate).

I put in a "Wabbit Season" sign...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get the time of your life.

(I once had a student drop a class, giving as a reason "the teacher makes me think of the Tasmanian Devil. He's always whirling around the room. I can't concentrate).

I put in a "Wabbit Season" sign...

and, the wabbits all head for the border.

I put in a lucky rabbit's foot.

 

[Austin8]

and, the wabbits all head for the border.

I put in a lucky rabbit's foot.

but is the said rabbit really lucky? He Lost A Foot!!

I put in a oxymoron

 

[YoursSINSerely]

but is the said rabbit really lucky? He Lost A Foot!!

I put in a oxymoron

and, you get a happy housewife.

I put in an apron string.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you get a happy housewife.

I put in an apron string.

and a young man cuts it ... to undress the maid.

I put in a feather duster...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and a young man cuts it ... to undress the maid.

I put in a feather duster...

and, you become the best tease of lifetime.

I put in a giggle.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you become the best tease of lifetime.

I put in a giggle.

and you get a kiss.

I put in another tickle...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a kiss.

I put in another tickle...

and, the feathers drop to the floor as I embrace you and return the passionate kiss.

I put in a falling bra.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, the feathers drop to the floor as I embrace you and return the passionate kiss.

I put in a falling bra.

and all your fans fight to be the one who catches it.

I put in a winner's "cup" for the man who gets it...