Somewhere between incapable and wank fodder threads

[RJMasters]

Seriously - WTF?

Punishment help?

Decide my punishment?

Need humilation ideas?

Seriously WTF!

in·ca·pa·ble ( n-k p -b l). adj. 1. a. Lacking the necessary ability, capacity, or power.

I got one question for the Dominants or Masters who send their submissive/slave to a forum board to ask such things of strangers... Who are you trying to humiliate? Them or you?

While i'm at it, why don't I come over and beat and fuck your submissive while I am at it since your so damn lazy or uncaring to take matters into your own hands.

For me, I would never give up this kind of intimate control. If my partner did something to warrant punishment, it would mean that I am hurt and/or angry and you best believe that I am gonna get my pound of flesh, till my anger is sated and I am satisfied. I'm not gonna ask her to go ask Joe and Martha down the street to see what they think I should do about the matter.

I know I haven't been around much, but holy crap.

Listen, I get that there is a place for humilation and perhaps even from time to time forcing one to come up with their own punishment(when not overly used).

Speaking for myself and I am sure I am not alone in this view, when I see these types of threads, At best I suspect the poster is a wanker looking for fodder, at worst I shake my head and say how damn sad is it that their relationship has come to this?

Seriously - WTF?

 

[Stella_Omega]

This is the result of the popularisation of BDSM. A lot of these people are in it becase they've recently heard of it.

heh... years ago, at a much I turned to the gorgeous woman sitting next to me, and asked her that perennial question; "How did you get into BDSM?"

"Oh," she said with her dazzling smile, "My partner and I went to a class at the Michigan Women's Festival last year."

... But that wasn't the whole answer, not by a long shot. She was born to it. Good times...

It also occurs to me that these are people who are used to chatrooms.

 

[NomadLady]

I think the age and experience level of othe "asker" is the clue here and I agree with Stella...they are used to the chatroom feedback process.

I can't imagine a really experienced Dom condoning his/her sub making the type posts unless it is a totally online relationship (and those make no sense to me whatsoever)...so basically you are dealing with fantasy worlds.

 

[RJMasters]

She said with her dazzling smile, "My partner and I went to a class at the Michigan Women's Festival last year."
She was born to it. Good times...

lol that's a Knee-slapper!

I think the age and experience level of othe "asker" is the clue here and I agree with Stella...they are used to the chatroom feedback process.

I can't imagine a really experienced Dom condoning his/her sub making the type posts unless it is a totally online relationship (and those make no sense to me whatsoever)...so basically you are dealing with fantasy worlds.

I don't mind people having relationships whether online or in real life...I don't equate the two as being exactly the same but I do believe that whether it is online or in real life, the people in it need to take responsibility for the relationship they have.

I think you both are right.

I am not trying to assert that BDSM needs to be done this way or that in order to be real or genuine, I think what I am trying to say, who in life would walk into a crowded room and say or force their partner to say "I have done something wrong and need to be punished, can anyone in this resturant tell me what a good punishment is?"

I mean seriously who the hell does that?

Strangely I am perfectly fine with a PLY taking their ply a public bar and picking out someone for them to take in the bathroom to fuck, then take the ply home and tie her up and beat her ass till the stranger's cum runs down her legs and then leave her like that. I don't think I would do that, but I am totally fine with understanding how a couple's BDSM dynamic could work that way for them.

Yet this asking for help for punishment just doesn't compute.

 

[vintage63]

I liked one of the earlier responses and think we should post it for everyone who ask for a punishment... "You punishment is banishment from this board"

 

[Honed_Hunger]

lol that's a Knee-slapper!



I don't mind people having relationships whether online or in real life...I don't equate the two as being exactly the same but I do believe that whether it is online or in real life, the people in it need to take responsibility for the relationship they have.

I think you both are right.

I am not trying to assert that BDSM needs to be done this way or that in order to be real or genuine, I think what I am trying to say, who in life would walk into a crowded room and say or force their partner to say "I have done something wrong and need to be punished, can anyone in this resturant tell me what a good punishment is?"

I mean seriously who the hell does that?

Strangely I am perfectly fine with a PLY taking their ply a public bar and picking out someone for them to take in the bathroom to fuck, then take the ply home and tie her up and beat her ass till the stranger's cum runs down her legs and then leave her like that. I don't think I would do that, but I am totally fine with understanding how a couple's BDSM dynamic could work that way for them.

Yet this asking for help for punishment just doesn't compute.

No..........it doesn't compute in my reality either. I label such bullshit at HNG antics,and don't take it seriously at all.


It should go without saying, but any well-rounded,insightful,experienced Dominant should know instinctively how's best to discipline or punish their submissive partner.

In the event the requests for such advice from strangers are in fact real...........they're in over their head and need to pick up their game a few notches.

 

[where]

.....

 

[BiBunny]

Aaaaaand you just hit on why I rarely say anything of any substance anymore.

 

[NomadLady]

silly thing, it's just that folks like to brag about their sex lives.

now, who can recommend a really good lube, so I can wear my asshook 24/7?

Kybele...the JO H20 line of lubes has been the most impressive in my book!!!

 

[NomadLady]

lol that's a Knee-slapper!



I don't mind people having relationships whether online or in real life...I don't equate the two as being exactly the same but I do believe that whether it is online or in real life, the people in it need to take responsibility for the relationship they have.

I think you both are right.

I am not trying to assert that BDSM needs to be done this way or that in order to be real or genuine, I think what I am trying to say, who in life would walk into a crowded room and say or force their partner to say "I have done something wrong and need to be punished, can anyone in this resturant tell me what a good punishment is?"

I mean seriously who the hell does that?

Strangely I am perfectly fine with a PLY taking their ply a public bar and picking out someone for them to take in the bathroom to fuck, then take the ply home and tie her up and beat her ass till the stranger's cum runs down her legs and then leave her like that. I don't think I would do that, but I am totally fine with understanding how a couple's BDSM dynamic could work that way for them.

Yet this asking for help for punishment just doesn't compute.

You are right that it doesn't compute...I think it's more attention seeking, wanker fodder than anything else. Most of the people that post these things are "newbies" and have probably never experienced a serious, real, dedicated Dominant and wouldn't know one if they did. And like you said a no Dom worth his or her "salt" would allow it much less encourage it.
Like Stella mentioned, the popularity of BDSM has made it a mine field for rank amatuers that are clueless and they will never find the ultimate, forbidden, erotic pleasures that come from a healthy, active and productive BDSM relationship.

 

[vintage63]

You are right that it doesn't compute...I think it's more attention seeking, wanker fodder than anything else. Most of the people that post these things are "newbies" and have probably never experienced a serious, real, dedicated Dominant and wouldn't know one if they did. And like you said a no Dom worth his or her "salt" would allow it much less encourage it.
Like Stella mentioned, the popularity of BDSM has made it a mine field for rank amatuers that are clueless and they will never find the ultimate, forbidden, erotic pleasures that come from a healthy, active and productive BDSM relationship.

Can I just confess..... I am an amatuer, probably clueless, but although late in life feel the true deep D/s that my Master has grown in me. I only wish I knew it earlier.
Some noobs want to grow into the perfect subs.

 

[rida]

I can see the humiliating and mind-fuckery element of asking your pyl to come up with his/her own punishment. But if I was the PYL and my pyl　went asking a board? It would not be appropriate.

Also I can see a novice PYL wanting to exchange ideas with more seasoned PYLs.

But yeah, if you are the PYL, own up to your position and take care of your own relationship!

 

[NomadLady]

Can I just confess..... I am an amatuer, probably clueless, but although late in life feel the true deep D/s that my Master has grown in me. I only wish I knew it earlier.
Some noobs want to grow into the perfect subs.

Then may I suggest research, research, research....lots of very informative books on this topic out there and asking questions here is also a GREAT resource!!!!

Will be happy to share book titles if you are interested!!!!

 

[FurryFury]

Those sorts of threads used to get very negative responses here. Now they are getting some serious comments. Interesting.

FF

 

[RJMasters]

Aaaaaand you just hit on why I rarely say anything of any substance anymore.

dagnabbit!

Where's that URL, imma gonna call and get me some bunny substance!

 

[RJMasters]

Interesting.

Care to share an insight or two?

 

[talismania]

I've also found those threads a little odd, but never gave a lot of thought to them, just sort of skipped them over. The chat-room mentality comparison seems apt. Maybe it's metapunishment? You know, talking about punishment as a form of punishment?

The thing is, punishment, like pleasure, stems from an individual's values, phobias, fears, joys and attachments. The best punishments are custom-made by a Dom to tap something in the sub they know is going to deliver just the right message.

Sorry for rambling. I was up late last night.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I've also found those threads a little odd, but never gave a lot of thought to them, just sort of skipped them over. The chat-room mentality comparison seems apt. Maybe it's metapunishment? You know, talking about punishment as a form of punishment?

The thing is, punishment, like pleasure, stems from an individual's values, phobias, fears, joys and attachments. The best punishments are custom-made by a Dom to tap something in the sub they know is going to deliver just the right message.

Sorry for rambling. I was up late last night.

Not rambling. Spot on.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I think you are being a bit unforgiving of the new people around here. Perhaps everyone who is so fulfilled and happy living BDSM should read their first twenty or so posts as punishment?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I think you are being a bit unforgiving of the new people around here. Perhaps everyone who is so fulfilled and happy living BDSM should read their first twenty or so posts as punishment?

I was gonna do that (re-read my first 20 or so posts), but darn...

Lit only shows my last 500, and they're invariably chock full of wit and wisdom. <Le sigh>

 

[00Syd]

Can I just confess..... I am an amatuer, probably clueless, but although late in life feel the true deep D/s that my Master has grown in me. I only wish I knew it earlier.
Some noobs want to grow into the perfect subs.

....


*stab stab stab stab stab*

 

[redroserecords]

I liked one of the earlier responses and think we should post it for everyone who ask for a punishment... "You punishment is banishment from this board"

Perfect solution!

On a more serious note, the way I see it there is not much that you can do besides either to offer or not to offer an honest opinion. We live in a colourful and strange world and there is no escaping it, especially online. But when I try to think of potential consequences, had experienced and well-meaning people not offered me advice when I started out on my own journey and shown me acceptance at a time when I was not yet ready to accept myself, I can see many alternatives that I would happily avoid.

I do think that it is a better approach to tell people that they are wrong if you honestly think so than to simply ignore them.

And sometimes everyone, even the strongest people, need to vent a bit.

 

[FurryFury]

Care to share an insight or two?

I'm not sure how much insight I have but clearly it's a different board with a different mind set to be actually taking these types of threads seriously and answering them.

People come and go on the board. The board changes. Clearly a more tolerant mind set is presently here, on these types of threads.

Maybe we are a "nicer" board than ever?

Maybe we are a younger more tolerant board than ever?

LOL

FF

 

[Keroin]

I'm not sure how much insight I have but clearly it's a different board with a different mind set to be actually taking these types of threads seriously and answering them.

People come and go on the board. The board changes. Clearly a more tolerant mind set is presently here, on these types of threads.

Maybe we are a "nicer" board than ever?

Maybe we are a younger more tolerant board than ever?

LOL

FF

I hope so. I dislike the "bash the newbie" mentality, (though I'll admit I have partaken in this on a couple of occasions where the thread was obviously...out there...or grammatically offensive ).

I had an experience on a sailing forum a couple of years ago. I know nothing about sailing but I was writing a story about a man adrift in a lifeboat and I needed some technical information. I posted my question, (framing it as a writer doing research), which I guess was either too simple or obvious or...? And one of the forum's regulars proceeded to tear me a new asshole, all over the board, for my stupidity.

So, I have a reserve of sympathy for the new kids on the block. And I have these things I call "fingers" that allow me to scroll right on past the threads I know I will find silly or a waste of my time.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You are right that it doesn't compute...I think it's more attention seeking, wanker fodder than anything else. Most of the people that post these things are "newbies" and have probably never experienced a serious, real, dedicated Dominant and wouldn't know one if they did. And like you said a no Dom worth his or her "salt" would allow it much less encourage it.

have a problem with absolute statements like the above, just saying, and I hope I didn't make one to that effect...

Like Stella mentioned, the popularity of BDSM has made it a mine field for rank amatuers that are clueless and they will never find the ultimate, forbidden, erotic pleasures that come from a healthy, active and productive BDSM relationship.

And I have to disagree with this. All of us are "Amateurs" when we first come to it. And many of us come to it later in life, when we have some time, at last to ourselves and the chance to be a little bit selfish. Until recently, I would have said that practicing BDSM is a middle-ager's game. The young kids that get involved so early -- well I am envious as hell, let's say.

Mostly I see this as a breach of manners-- this forum is more like a brunch than a play party... I have seen people show up at munches in bondage regalia, only to be turned away at the door with the reminder that the restaurant is a public venue, however kink-friendly it might be.