LAdymorrgian
Experienced
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I just started seeing a new guy and I am wondering if anyone has any advice on how to tell him I am submissive?
How to tell...
- Thread starter LAdymorrgian
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slavebitch
Really Experienced
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what I did to start out with my boyfriend and now Master is whenever He would ask me what I would want or what I like I would tell Him I merely want to do whatever would make Him happy.
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
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Do you view yourself as sexually submissive (primarily bedroom), or are you looking for him to take control in other areas of you life?
RJMasters
workaholic
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Actions Speak louder than words.
If you are being submissive in your actions and behavior with him, and the result of that is he likes you, then I would think that as your relationship develops, there will come a time to be able to verbalize that to him when the moment and time is right.
If someone has to verbalize it, then I would prefer it said with honesty.
Lastly, food for thought... if a woman is saying to me she is submissive or sees herself as a submissive I might shrug and say "that's nice". However what would have more of a personal meaning to me is if she said that she feels comfortable being submissive to me.
If you are being submissive in your actions and behavior with him, and the result of that is he likes you, then I would think that as your relationship develops, there will come a time to be able to verbalize that to him when the moment and time is right.
If someone has to verbalize it, then I would prefer it said with honesty.
Lastly, food for thought... if a woman is saying to me she is submissive or sees herself as a submissive I might shrug and say "that's nice". However what would have more of a personal meaning to me is if she said that she feels comfortable being submissive to me.
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
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Are you dating him because he is dominant? Is he into BDSM? those seem to be more pertinent questions at the moment....and if you are submissive, he will know without a word from you, actions are the key.
LAdymorrgian
Experienced
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I am with him be cause he is a great guy who also happens to have a very obviouse dom streak. if he is into bdsm, i have no clue. but. when we started dateing he would play with my haor and when he say my reaction of him tugging on it, contuined to do so..its noraml now for up. and when we had sex the first time, he led off with pinning me to the wall and then later hold me down...
sardoniclaugh
Experienced
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Guessing since you started this thread that you're a little uncomfortable with the idea of just dropping to your knees and begging to please him. If I'm wrong by the way, you could try that. Even the densest guys will notice something like that. Try asking him about BDSM - or your particular kinks - generally, if you're unsure how it will be received.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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I need to develop a Litmacro for this (and similar) questions:
If you want this relationship - or ANY relationship - to succeed, the most effective way to ensure that is
communicate, CoMmUnIcAtE, COMMUNI-freakin'-CATE!
Discuss with him about the things that he wants from the relationship, the things that you (singular) want from the relationship, and the things that you (plural) want from the relationship. Be honest about what you see as your strengths and your weaknesses, your desires and your fears. Only through the foundation of discussion and exposition can the two of you build something that will last.
Good luck... and welcome to the Forum!
If you want this relationship - or ANY relationship - to succeed, the most effective way to ensure that is
communicate, CoMmUnIcAtE, COMMUNI-freakin'-CATE!
Discuss with him about the things that he wants from the relationship, the things that you (singular) want from the relationship, and the things that you (plural) want from the relationship. Be honest about what you see as your strengths and your weaknesses, your desires and your fears. Only through the foundation of discussion and exposition can the two of you build something that will last.
Good luck... and welcome to the Forum!
seela
Quark Thief
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If you're looking to be ravished more than you are looking to please him, you could say that you like rough sex and work from there. Often the most difficult thing is to get the communication going and "rough sex" as a term is something that doesn't raise an eyebrow, even if he isn't into it. And if he is, it shouldn't be too much of a problem to slowly tell about your other desires, once you've gotten past the first hurdle.
If, on the other hand, you want to please him, I see no reason why you should discuss it with him, rather just do it.
If you want him to take control outside of bedroom as well, then you just have to bite the bullet and talk with him, there's no way around it that I can see. You could start asking for his opinion on things, but that only goes so far.
But if you feel like you can't share your thoughts and needs with the person you're in a relationship, I don't really see much future for it.
If, on the other hand, you want to please him, I see no reason why you should discuss it with him, rather just do it.
If you want him to take control outside of bedroom as well, then you just have to bite the bullet and talk with him, there's no way around it that I can see. You could start asking for his opinion on things, but that only goes so far.
But if you feel like you can't share your thoughts and needs with the person you're in a relationship, I don't really see much future for it.
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