Losing a sub/toy/slave (online)

[sweetnpetite]

I had a very eager online sub, but things didn't work out and the relationship ended with no hard feelings. Our contact was pretty brief but there is a certain feeling of letdown that things did not go the way they where expected to.

How do you deal with losing a sub? (esp. online dommes and doms) What is the experience like for you.

 

[SimonBrooke]

I had a very eager online sub, but things didn't work out and the relationship ended with no hard feelings. Our contact was pretty brief but there is a certain feeling of letdown that things did not go the way they where expected to.

How do you deal with losing a sub? (esp. online dommes and doms) What is the experience like for you.

As everyone who was here then knows, I had a very intense online connection with someone who used to post here. Almost exactly a year ago, she ceased to answer email, ceased to answer her phone, and ceased to post here. I had had a cold and had perhaps been a bit less communicative than I should have been in the previous week; perhaps from her perspective something I did drove her away. But I honestly can't think of anything which would have caused her to withdraw so suddenly and completely.

The experience left me very bruised. I don't plan to try online domination again.

 

[NomadLady]

As everyone who was here then knows, I had a very intense online connection with someone who used to post here. Almost exactly a year ago, she ceased to answer email, ceased to answer her phone, and ceased to post here. I had had a cold and had perhaps been a bit less communicative than I should have been in the previous week; perhaps from her perspective something I did drove her away. But I honestly can't think of anything which would have caused her to withdraw so suddenly and completely.

The experience left me very bruised. I don't plan to try online domination again.

This a good reason that I've never been interested in online play....not to mention the lack of physical intimacy would be staggering. I get that D/s is a mental thing...but withouth the physical I would be "empty" from the start...

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

I am on the exact other side of that. i had been communicating with someone online and could totally see myself slipping into a glorious submission that allowed me to experience things i never had before. It had only been a few days but i had to email to say that i could not continue the relationship due to real life issues. It killed me to have to it and i am still realing from the up and down of the past few days.

 

[PlayerA01]

i think it depends on the experiences you have...i tend to dominate a lot of the times but hard for certain people to make the transition depends how open you are to it.you have to be fully commited there is psychological element to it.

 

[SimonBrooke]

This a good reason that I've never been interested in online play....not to mention the lack of physical intimacy would be staggering. I get that D/s is a mental thing...but withouth the physical I would be "empty" from the start...

It was planned that it would get physical fairly quickly. The week she disappeared was the week I was going to pay her air fare for her first visit. Online only does not appeal. I want to fuck my plaything - body as well as mind.

 

[SimonBrooke]

I hate to rub salt in the wound, but that looming deadline could well have contributed to a severe freak out.

Yes, it could. I'm not angry with her - I'm more anxious about her. I hope she's all right. But I wouldn't give her a second chance - it was not a nice experience.

 

[NomadLady]

It was planned that it would get physical fairly quickly. The week she disappeared was the week I was going to pay her air fare for her first visit. Online only does not appeal. I want to fuck my plaything - body as well as mind.

What's the saying Simon?? great minds think alike???

 

[SimonBrooke]

What's the saying Simon?? great minds think alike???

Fools seldom differ, Nomad

But thanks, to you and everyone else.

 

[MasterAnimus]

No different from a real-life relationship - you pick up and move on. The good thing about online relationships are - they are easier to form. But it is also harder to guage one's intentions - but then if you have this in mind, I don't think you would be disappointed. I had an online sub once who was very eager to share ideas, etc. online, but flaked out when I proposed that we continue this RL (we had met in RL, just not implemented the ideas).

 

[MasterAnimus]

I am on the exact other side of that. i had been communicating with someone online and could totally see myself slipping into a glorious submission that allowed me to experience things i never had before. It had only been a few days but i had to email to say that i could not continue the relationship due to real life issues. It killed me to have to it and i am still realing from the up and down of the past few days.

I am just curious - weren't real-life issues apparent when you started this? I feel many people (doms and subs) don't know what they want, and they do it for the glamour - since in mind everything looks and feels great.

Don't get me wrong - I would still start an online relationship if I could, but I have just been lucky to be able to understand someone's intentions (or lack thereof) - just takes a while, and a lot of communication.

 

[NomadLady]

Fools seldom differ, Nomad

But thanks, to you and everyone else.

You are more than welcome, I always enjoy reading your posts.

 

[Adakgirl]

Here's the thing, if you are going to end an on-line relationship, at least be courteous enough to say goodbye. Have the guts to tell them you are not going to be around anymore. You don't have to give them a reason, just let them know. Even if it's in an offline message. Don't be a chicken shit and simply disappear. It hurts the other person a lot more than you know and causes them undue stress about if you are still alive. They worry for a long time, asking themselves what could have happened to you. None of that is necessary. The other person deserves to know.

 

[MasterAnimus]

Here's the thing, if you are going to end an on-line relationship, at least be courteous enough to say goodbye. Have the guts to tell them you are not going to be around anymore. You don't have to give them a reason, just let them know. Even if it's in an offline message. Don't be a chicken shit and simply disappear. It hurts the other person a lot more than you know and causes them undue stress about if you are still alive. They worry for a long time, asking themselves what could have happened to you. None of that is necessary. The other person deserves to know.

Not to forget people hurting assuming something is wrong with them that the other person has to simply disappear. Online relationships, if anything, should be easier to end than RL ones - you will not run into the other person, etc., and yet people take them for granted since new ones are easier to form a well.