Do you bargain?

[SweetErika]

We had a garage sale today, and it struck me how many people either shied away from, or outright refused to, bargain/negotiate. I did notice a few patterns, but overall, there was a general unwillingness to make an offer and negotiate, even though we made it very clear to everyone that we were open to all offers and looking to get rid of stuff. And, well, the whole situation just got me thinking about the whole topic, especially because I'm going to enter negotiations to buy a company vehicle for my husband shortly (I'm definitely the better bargainer in the family).

Here are some of my questions, but feel free to skip or veer away from them:

Are you a negotiator? For things like yard sale items? Vehicles? How about for sex or in relationships?

If you're not a bargainer, why not?

Are you male or female and how old are you? (I'm trying to discern if there's a gender and/or generational difference.)

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

We had a garage sale today, and it struck me how many people either shied away from, or outright refused to, bargain/negotiate. I did notice a few patterns, but overall, there was a general unwillingness to make an offer and negotiate, even though we made it very clear to everyone that we were open to all offers and looking to get rid of stuff. And, well, the whole situation just got me thinking about the whole topic, especially because I'm going to enter negotiations to buy a company vehicle for my husband shortly (I'm definitely the better bargainer in the family).

Here are some of my questions, but feel free to skip or veer away from them:

Are you a negotiator? For things like yard sale items? Vehicles? How about for sex or in relationships?

If you're not a bargainer, why not?

Are you male or female and how old are you? (I'm trying to discern if there's a gender and/or generational difference.)

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

I'm 28, and no I'm not a bargainer. I respond to it like it's confrontation, and I hate confrontation.

 

[infinity706]

I like to bargain, but I don't get to do it much, because people won't do it with me.

 

[silverwhisper]

when my parents moved out of their home a few months ago, we had a garage sale to get rid of stuff and it was highly productive. but i think that bargaining at yard sales isn't the norm, b/c the only time people tend to negotiate, at least IMHO, is for the big ticket items. perhaps in part, they perceive the difference at yard sales as not having adequate benefit vs cost of potentially alienating a neighbor or investment of time.

erika queried:
are you a negotiator? for things like yard sale items? vehicles? how about for sex or in relationships?

yes, i am. i've negotiated contracts with some pretty heavy duty organizations in my past. however, i've never negotiated for big ticket items (have always had saturns, so next car will be interesting).

i don't however believe in negotiating in relationships: i perceive that as a confrontational approach, and hence feel it isn't part of any relationship in which i participate. i favor a more collaborative approach.

erika queried:
if you're not a bargainer, why not?

in the cases where i don't feel like negotiating, it's b/c i feel my time is more valuable than the possible financial gain.

erika queried:
are you male or female and how old are you? (i'm trying to discern if there's a gender and/or generational difference.)

male, child of the 80s.

erika queried:
is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

i don't think cultural background or family influences are particularly apt or not. however, i've certainly worked with some very good negotiators in my career and have learned quite a bit from them.

erika queried:
do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

i do, but it was in a professional contex & prefer not to discuss such things on lit.



hey erika, i hope your yard sale was effective & rewarding!

ed

 

[VelvetSin]

Here are some of my questions, but feel free to skip or veer away from them:

Are you a negotiator? For things like yard sale items? Vehicles? How about for sex or in relationships?

Yes and no. The bigger ticket the item, the more I'll negotiate. I don't yard sale much, but when I do, I tend to pay the quoted price or walk away.

For vehicles or a house, it's almost expected and if I can talk a few grand off the price, I will.

Not at all for sex in the relationship. We'll discuss what we're open to, but there's no "if you do this, I'll do this" back and forth. Sex isn't a transaction and I don't want to make it one.

If you're not a bargainer, why not?

I tend to feel it's insulting for smaller things like yard sale items.

Are you male or female and how old are you?

Female, early 30s.

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

Since I only do it for big-ticket items, it's done with my own checkbook in mind, and no other real motivation. The first car I ever bought, I didn't get that negotiating was almost expected and got taken. No one in my family ever negotiated (they took it as insulting) so the second car I bought, a friend of mine had to go with me to handle the negotiating so I could see what to do.

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

When we bought our house last year, I talked them down 12.5% on the sale price plus they paid inspection, resulting repairs, and all our closing costs. Mister often handles negotiations but he was busy that week and left it all to me, and said he was impressed and doubted he could have gotten a better deal. The whole time, I walked a fine line between wanting a good price for us, and not wanting to insult the seller or leave them in the poor house just because they needed to unload a house in a buyer's market, but we talked to the seller directly a few times (which was weird at first that the agents put us in touch) and while they said it was a hard bargain, they got enough out of it for what they wanted to do. We did hear that a few days after our agreement was signed, another offer came in at full price. for seller, for us!

I negotiate frequently in my job, but since those aren't on my own behalf, I don't really count them.

 

[rowseyone]

I bargain at yard sales. Perhaps its cultural here in Hawaii, but I have noticed people try to negotiate for a lot of things, not just at yard sales.
My ex motherinlaw negotiated for the last car she got.
I'm 44 and female.

 

[Mac98]

We had a garage sale today, and it struck me how many people either shied away from, or outright refused to, bargain/negotiate. I did notice a few patterns, but overall, there was a general unwillingness to make an offer and negotiate, even though we made it very clear to everyone that we were open to all offers and looking to get rid of stuff. And, well, the whole situation just got me thinking about the whole topic, especially because I'm going to enter negotiations to buy a company vehicle for my husband shortly (I'm definitely the better bargainer in the family).

Here are some of my questions, but feel free to skip or veer away from them:

Are you a negotiator? For things like yard sale items? Vehicles? How about for sex or in relationships?

If you're not a bargainer, why not?

Are you male or female and how old are you? (I'm trying to discern if there's a gender and/or generational difference.)

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

I've noticed this too. A lot of people don't like bargaining for some reason. I personnaly adore it. I'm a huge sports buff and I love to follow trade rumours and contract negociations. I like negociating at yard sales or whatnot... I usually find paying 15$ for a used and maybe broken movie or videogame to be pretty expensive... so I negociate. To me, the key element to any negociation is to out-manipulate the person selling (or buying, depending on what situation you're in). You have to have a better way with words and know the person's weaknesses. If he's got 60 other movies to sell, then one movie won't be that big a deal... yet, if he only has 3 other movies to sell, what are the chances people'll find a movie in those 3 that they actually enjoy?

My mom could've gotten away with murder at yard sales back in the day... she would NEVER end up paying full price and I think I sorta' caught on to that. I love negociating. It's really my forte

 

[fire_breeze]

Here are some of my questions, but feel free to skip or veer away from them:

Are you a negotiator? For things like yard sale items? Vehicles?

Yes, I am, at least for some things. I don't bargain in stores, for example, but I do at garage sales, flea markets, fairs, street merchants, and in some cases, farmers market (only if I'm buying in bulk). Aside from garage sales, where it's everything must go, I know how much they jack up their prices (in most cases) and that many of them expect it. Unlike many bargaining techniques, I don't insult the ware/art by saying how ugly it is, as I find that demeaning and hypocritical. I do tell them how much I'm willing to pay for something.

I do try and keep it fair. I don't want a bargain if it's not fair.

How about for sex or in relationships?

nope. I might negotiate some thing, but I see that more as discussing it and coming to an agreement, not bargaining, but I will not exchange one aspect for another. I view sex and relationships as my giving.

Are you male or female and how old are you? (I'm trying to discern if there's a gender and/or generational difference.)

Female.

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

My Mother is a phenomenal bargainer, so I learned a lot from her. Father hates to do it, but will - and quite well - if the situation calls for it, but he'd rather let Mother do the bargaining.
I never had to purchase big ticket items (I rent, I went through a friend to buy my car, etc), so maybe it's a bit different. Also, I'm Central/Eastern European, where the stores write out "We do not negotiate prices" if bargaining is not permissible. In some cases, bargaining is expected; you got to know people, you spoke to them and it was a game on both sides. A good bargain was acknowledged and respected. While I was in the Middle East, it was insulting NOT to bargain. There was a entire ritual - drinking tea, socialising, drinking more tea, smoking really bad cigarettes (or if you were lucky, a nargile), more tea, then getting down to business, then finalising with a last cup of tea - that was dedicated to a transaction. If someone just walked in with minimal interaction, paid and walked out, that individual would have committed a social taboo and would have been considered to be rude. It's just interesting the different cultural viewpoints to this activity.

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

I was a teenager in Spain and painfully shy: it was my first trip alone, and my first time bargaining. I was looking at a beautiful carved hair clip in a handicraft shop and the store owner quoted me the price. I shook my head - I couldn't think of the words "just looking" in Spanish, and I was too shy to tell him in English, so I just squeaked out "lo siento". He brought down the price and again I shook my head, blushing and giving him an awkward smile. He kept on bringing down the price, I kept on shaking my head, and eventually, he negotiated himself an 85% discount and I walked out with a hair clip that I lost fifteen minutes later .

Sometimes, the best way to bargain is to let the seller do it for you

 

[pplwatching]

Hi Erika. Hope things are well on the home front.

Are you a negotiator?

My wife and I complement each other here. I have a reasonable idea of what something is worth to me. I can negotiate with someone who's not cut-throat or rude. I'll walk away from a deal if a seller is abusive.

My wife is the family negotiator. She will take my input on what something's worth and haggle with the best. If they're nice, she's nice. If their style is less than nice, she can play that game. Sometimes she makes me so uncomfortable that I keep a discrete distance, but she's usually just mirroring the seller's attitude.

For things like yard sale items?

She'll negotiate anything if money's on the table. I worry about coming off as rude or insensitive.

Vehicles?

I have purchased my last two vehicles from friends. They seemed to make an effort to ask a reasonable price, and I felt I shouldn't haggle. All of my friends in the classic car world expect negotiating, and only get offended if someone low-balls an offer. That's considered rude, and will cause some sellers to walk away completely.

This is where my father in law excels. He knows that dealers don't take money personally, and shuffle money between the asking price and trade ins. He has no qualms about making offers, but always bases them on any documentation he can find in order to weaken the seller's position. If a dealer in LA offers a car for a lower price, he buys that paper and pulls out their ad to show show it to the local dealer. He will sit patiently for hours if that's what it takes to save money.

How about for sex or in relationships?

I believe that negotiation does play a role in sex and relationships, however the dynamic is far different and is difficult to explain. The best relationships work based on compromises made with one's lover, and my marriage is no different. If someone's make a concession at the behest of their lover, there's negotiating going on. For most things, the fact that she feels strongly about something is enough for me, and I am altruistic. I am fortunate that she feels the same way, and never seeks to even the proverbial score by seeking something in return or going on spending sprees to even the balance. There are times, however, when we each want something different. The trick is knowing what's important to her, and how important it is compared to how important I feel that it is. I think that the relative difference can be discovered and expressed as a form of negotiation.

That is not to say that being cut-throat has any place in the dynamic.

If you're not a bargainer, why not?

I am like others here that shy away from confrontation. I am getting better at it, especially knowing that money left on the table is not money in the bank.

Are you male or female and how old are you?

I am 46 and my wife is younger than me by several years.

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

I took a class on negotiation. It was taught by a woman who expected people (and companies) to adhere to contracts, no matter how implied. For example, if she reserved a non-smoking hotel room and a smoking room was all that was available she would always negotiate some form of compensation. She didn't feel that asking the hotel to honor their commitment to her or make it right equated to being a bitch, but she wasn't afraid to walk to the next hotel if the management wouldn't give something. I have used that, although my wife has to far greater effect. The instructor also emphasized the concept of there being no such thing as win-win. For me to win a concession, someone has to give something up. To balance that she emphasized always being reasonable and courteous. Having someone by the short hairs isn't a reason to slit their throat. A deal that doesn't serve both parties equitably poisons the relationship and makes it more difficult to negotiate with that person again. I think that made me feel less intimidated about negotiating although I still tend to back down if the other side is tougher. I'm a work in progress, I guess.

My wife is Korean. Watching the in-laws and her negotiate, I can't help but believe that it was taught at an early age. When visiting Korea with her, I did see an active negotiating culture.

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

My wife is not a frivolous woman. By all accounts she's frugal, but completely contrary to her thrifty nature she wanted more stones (and a new setting). Money was not a short-term issue, but it would affect our finances (bearing mind that a penny saved is a penny earned). Realizing that she was asking for something expensive, slightly vain, just for her, and would affect our savings she did negotiate for it with me.

More practically, we were traveling on vacation and the room was not as promised. She went to the management and absolutely wouldn't take "that's the only room that we have available" as an answer. It was a smoking room and I have allergies. We got upgraded to a really beautiful room with a private balcony garden. It really made the vacation special. She has also saved us a _lot_ of money on stuff.

The down - side of my wife's love of haggling is that she often comes home with stuff that she got a great deal on, that I can't fathom why she wanted in the first place. I think it's the thrill of the chase. If someone looks like they're ready to bargain, her pulse quickens and her eyes glint. We have stuff we've never used, but that she probably drew blood from the seller to get.

 

[Experiencedguy]

Hi Erika.

Let me give you my viewpoints from two different angles.

#1: I own my own business, and I set the price. Now, if a customer can show me a defect that I missed, unless it is very expensive, I just give it to them. If it is expensive, I'll take any reasonable offer. If they don't want it because it is not perfect, I price it according to condition. On my as is items, I will accept any reasonable offer. Other than that -- usually not. Most of the time when customers try to negotiate with me, I tell them that I don't need their business. But, if I'm really hungry, of course. By the way, I handle non-essestial items (expensive hobby goods).

Now, as a buyer, answering your questions in order:

When buying (Either for my business, or own use): If the item is something I really need, and is already a great buy, no. If it is something I really need, and isn't a giveaway, yes, I'll try to negotiate, but if I lose, I'll still buy it. Doesn't matter what it is, except for the things that are non-negotable. Works real good with professionals in the service industry if they are self employeed, especially when saying: My offer in cash, or your offer on credit card.

For sex: Usually not, but have on occasion or two - several years ago.

My personals: M 65

What made me a negotiator: My business background. My masters was in contracting with the US Goverment, and I sold airplanes for a living - primarily to the government. The government will put you in a sealed bid auction, and still try to get money out of the contractor, while still wanting the greatest quality. I would offer to trade quality for cost. Always came out ahead. By the way -- it should offend every American that our government is not sending our boys into combat in the most technically superior quality equipment. Instead they are sending them out with the item that meets the bottom line of a specification at the lowest cost, instead of the most technically superior, irregardless of cost.

Yes, I have some great buys, but they relate to my current business so won't talk about them in public. But, in the last fifteen years, I have felt so guilty on two occasions that I went back and gave the seller more money.

 

[SweetErika]

I haven't had much time to reply, but I'm reading your responses with great interest. It's fascinating to hear your thought processes, backgrounds, etc.

I'm a bargainer in appropriate situations (yard sales, car lots, some services, etc.), though I have no idea where I got it from, since I don't have any memories of watching my parents negotiate. I do try to offer what's fair in my mind and be polite while still driving a hard bargain.

With the first/last car I bought, I price shopped all of the dealerships in the area and then pitted them against each other until one said it'd beat the best offer I got by $100. Then I negotiated for a bunch of extras and got them (I'm pretty sure they just wanted to get rid of me at that point ). I walked out with an exceptional deal and they got rid of one of the remaining cars from the previous year, so it was a win-win, even though I came out ahead.

 

[culloden]

We had a garage sale today, and it struck me how many people either shied away from, or outright refused to, bargain/negotiate. I did notice a few patterns, but overall, there was a general unwillingness to make an offer and negotiate, even though we made it very clear to everyone that we were open to all offers and looking to get rid of stuff. And, well, the whole situation just got me thinking about the whole topic, especially because I'm going to enter negotiations to buy a company vehicle for my husband shortly (I'm definitely the better bargainer in the family).

Here are some of my questions, but feel free to skip or veer away from them:

Are you a negotiator? SometimesFor things like yard sale items?Depends on how it's priced. If it's obviously a good deal, then no. Today, I paid the asking price for an old piece of equipment because I knew the price was below the value. I'd have felt like a heel trying to talk the guy down. Vehicles? Absolutely always. How about for sex or in relationships? Jokingly, never seriously. That just doesn't seem right. If you're doing the relationship correctly anyway, normal give and take combined with sensitivity for the other person should make bargaining pretty much un-necessary.

If you're not a bargainer, why not? When I don't, it's because doing so feels wrong in the circumstance.

Are you male or female and how old are you? (I'm trying to discern if there's a gender and/or generational difference.) Male, late 40s

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?No, it's just that sometimes it's expected and sometimes it's not.

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

No, but my wife could write the book. To her, getting a good deal is her favorite game. She takes it to the point where it makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

 

[SweetErika]

No, but my wife could write the book. To her, getting a good deal is her favorite game. She takes it to the point where it makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

Do you know what it is that makes you uncomfortable?

I know my husband often sees confrontation in a lot of situations (from bargaining at garage sales to asking for something to be fixed at a restaurant or store), and he hates confrontation, so that can make him uncomfortable.

We had an interesting situation at this last sale. A kid (probably 13 or so) bought an LCD keychain that was brand new, never opened. My husband took $5 for it, even though he stated the price was $6 and the sticker price was $10. This was after the kid and his family had asked a gazillion questions about a router and range extender that cost $2 and insisted on paying half for another item, which we politely declined.

Anyway, the kid and his parents come back a couple of hours later with the keychain, saying he can't upload pics to it with his computer. My husband tried to help the kid troubleshoot by asking questions and reading the directions, and even brought it inside to make sure it powered up on our computer. It did, so we determined it was user error and/or a software issue with their computer. It was clear the kid wanted his money back and my husband didn't know what to do.

I watched all of this, asked for a friend's advice, and finally told the kid he wouldn't be getting his money back because there was nothing wrong with the item, they paid half for it and this was a yard sale, not a store. When I buy used items privately, I inspect them ahead of time and make sure they'll work with what I have; if they don't, it's my own fault for making a bad decision. Caveat emptor/buyer beware in that situation, right?

The kid kinda sorta accepted this, and went back to offering half on other items he wanted, like we were obligated to take his previously rejected offers because he was disappointed with the keychain purchase. All the while, his parents stood by and didn't say a word, though I'm not sure what their English skills were. Then they finally left when they realized we weren't going to budge.

Ultimately, we kind of felt bad, but also feel like it was the right decision since the keychain was brand new and did power up, as promised/implied. My husband probably would have avoided the whole situation and given a refund, but I felt like it was important for the kid/family to learn a lesson about making more considered decisions on purchases and how garage sales work. And they only "lost" $5 if they can't figure it out or do something else with it, like resell or gift it.

Anyway, it was a very uncomfortable situation, even for me, and I'd be interested to hear whether or not you think we made the right decision by not offering a refund or taking their lowball offers on other stuff (which other people paid fair amounts for later on, BTW) as compensation. It's hard when it's a kid, even when I'm pretty sure that kid is trying to play me or get more than he deserves.

 

[culloden]

Do you know what it is that makes you uncomfortable?

I know my husband often sees confrontation in a lot of situations (from bargaining at garage sales to asking for something to be fixed at a restaurant or store), and he hates confrontation, so that can make him uncomfortable.

We had an interesting situation at this last sale. A kid (probably 13 or so) bought an LCD keychain that was brand new, never opened. My husband took $5 for it, even though he stated the price was $6 and the sticker price was $10. This was after the kid and his family had asked a gazillion questions about a router and range extender that cost $2 and insisted on paying half for another item, which we politely declined.

Anyway, the kid and his parents come back a couple of hours later with the keychain, saying he can't upload pics to it with his computer. My husband tried to help the kid troubleshoot by asking questions and reading the directions, and even brought it inside to make sure it powered up on our computer. It did, so we determined it was user error and/or a software issue with their computer. It was clear the kid wanted his money back and my husband didn't know what to do.

I watched all of this, asked for a friend's advice, and finally told the kid he wouldn't be getting his money back because there was nothing wrong with the item, they paid half for it and this was a yard sale, not a store. When I buy used items privately, I inspect them ahead of time and make sure they'll work with what I have; if they don't, it's my own fault for making a bad decision. Caveat emptor/buyer beware in that situation, right?

The kid kinda sorta accepted this, and went back to offering half on other items he wanted, like we were obligated to take his previously rejected offers because he was disappointed with the keychain purchase. All the while, his parents stood by and didn't say a word, though I'm not sure what their English skills were. Then they finally left when they realized we weren't going to budge.

Ultimately, we kind of felt bad, but also feel like it was the right decision since the keychain was brand new and did power up, as promised/implied. My husband probably would have avoided the whole situation and given a refund, but I felt like it was important for the kid/family to learn a lesson about making more considered decisions on purchases and how garage sales work. And they only "lost" $5 if they can't figure it out or do something else with it, like resell or gift it.

Anyway, it was a very uncomfortable situation, even for me, and I'd be interested to hear whether or not you think we made the right decision by not offering a refund or taking their lowball offers on other stuff (which other people paid fair amounts for later on, BTW) as compensation. It's hard when it's a kid, even when I'm pretty sure that kid is trying to play me or get more than he deserves.

I would have given him his $5 back. It probably meant more to him than it would have to me. (I also over-tip based on this thinking) But that's not to say I think you were wrong, and really, perhaps you did him a bigger favor with a life lesson. This is a gray area to me.

What makes me uncomfortable? In part, it comes down to wanting to be a nice guy. And, I don't care for conflict. And rarely do I really, really need any particular thing. So if I see something I'd like to have but it's priced higher than I want to pay, walking away is easier than haggling.

Another thing that factors into this is that I'd rather sign up for elective dental work than shop. I've literally had more fun at funerals than I do at auctions or tag sales. I avoid these things like I would a leper colony. Consequently, I don't practice haggling, so my comfort level never increases.

 

[Experiencedguy]

Hi again Erika.

No - you did nothing wrong with the kid. Obviously, his family wants something for nothing from everyone. Better that the kid learns his lesson early, rather than at the age of 18 or so, when he buys his first car. Now, if he had paid $10.00 for it (list price), you should have given a refund.

In my business life, when I have a discounted sale, all items are marked "as is". I have had many customers try to return this merchandice later, and always politely turn them down (unless they are one of my regular customers, or a very big spender). I also let the people know that anything they buy from me at full retail is always fully refundable (in trade only) at any time, for any reason. Of course, if I don't know them, they must show me the original paperwork. Sometimes I have hade material come back a year after the sale, but the amount of goodwill that this generates is extremely valuable in getting repeat sales.

 

[SweetErika]

I would have given him his $5 back. It probably meant more to him than it would have to me. (I also over-tip based on this thinking) But that's not to say I think you were wrong, and really, perhaps you did him a bigger favor with a life lesson. This is a gray area to me.

Yeah, we over-tip for the same reason, too. Most of those people work really hard and need tips to make ends meet, so I never mind giving extra when I get good service.

If I thought it was the kid's allowance money or something, I would have given it back, but I didn't get that feeling at all. I guess in this very specific situation, I felt like not giving him a refund was the best course of action by some sort of margin, so that's what we did.

What makes me uncomfortable? In part, it comes down to wanting to be a nice guy. And, I don't care for conflict. And rarely do I really, really need any particular thing. So if I see something I'd like to have but it's priced higher than I want to pay, walking away is easier than haggling.

Another thing that factors into this is that I'd rather sign up for elective dental work than shop. I've literally had more fun at funerals than I do at auctions or tag sales. I avoid these things like I would a leper colony. Consequently, I don't practice haggling, so my comfort level never increases.

Interesting. I suppose I don't see polite bargaining as conflict or being less than nice, but I can see how some could interpret it that way. When I'm buying or selling, I strive to make it a win-win, where the seller gets a reasonable amount of money and rid of their stuff, and the buyer gets a good value.

 

[SweetErika]

Hi again Erika.

No - you did nothing wrong with the kid. Obviously, his family wants something for nothing from everyone. Better that the kid learns his lesson early, rather than at the age of 18 or so, when he buys his first car. Now, if he had paid $10.00 for it (list price), you should have given a refund.

If he had paid $10, I might have give him half back, but I feel like the same principle (that garage sale items are sold as is) would apply. Now if we had promised the keychain would work with his computer and it didn't, or we were saying a used item worked and it didn't, then I'd happily give a refund.

But, yeah, they seemed like avid garage salers who might be trying to take advantage of people (there are TONS of that ilk in this area) and I'd imagine the parents would have tried to intervene had they really expected a refund.

 

[culloden]

Yeah, we over-tip for the same reason, too. Most of those people work really hard and need tips to make ends meet, so I never mind giving extra when I get good service.

If I thought it was the kid's allowance money or something, I would have given it back, but I didn't get that feeling at all. I guess in this very specific situation, I felt like not giving him a refund was the best course of action by some sort of margin, so that's what we did.


Interesting. I suppose I don't see polite bargaining as conflict or being less than nice, but I can see how some could interpret it that way. When I'm buying or selling, I strive to make it a win-win, where the seller gets a reasonable amount of money and rid of their stuff, and the buyer gets a good value.

Intellectually, I agree with you - My favorite economic philosophers are Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand. You can make an offer, and the other party is free to decline it. All that means is that you value the object differently.

I'm probably oversensitive to that sort of thing. In part, that might be because I've spent a lot of my life as a self-employed carpenter, and it pisses me off when someone tries to talk me down from a price I've spent hours preparing. That feels like they're being disrespectful of my time and skills. But of course, their perspective is that I'm trying to take as many of their hard-earned dollars as I can, and there's some truth in that.

It comes down to there being two aspects to any sale - the clean, economic one and the messy emotional one.

 

[4bidnfruit]

I don't bargain. I know if its a good deal and if so, i'll pay for it, otherwise i walk. However, when i went to look at my car, he had to drop the price just to get me to take it for a test drive and after we got back, i was still going to walk so he dropped a little more and i told him to throw in the tax, title, and tags. I have no problem shopping around for a good deal and I can wait for something to go on sale.

A couple weeks ago i was in pacsun shopping for my daughter and as i was checking out, he asked if there would be anything else because my daughter was still looking around. I said, "yeah, if you want to give me a sale price on your jackets, i'll take one of them". He surpsied the hell out of me because I was somewhat joking but he asked which ones and said he would see what he could do and they eneded up taking 26 bucks off of it. he said something about an email special they had for taking a certain percentage off. I'm not on that list but it makes no difference how i got it, i was happy to get it.

I don't go to yard sales often but when i do, i either pay the sticker price or walk.

 

[hzzrn1]

........

 

[blade_rocknut]

I am 35. male. Small business owner.
For the most part, I detest bargaining- but I am biased as I've had so many customers over the years wax on and on about how great my workmanship / service is- and then try to beat down the price. I'm already reasonable; if not unbeatable given the quality level in the area. (well off people are the worst)

I will bargain some on cars, other big ticket items where I know there's a lot of markup and not much personal service type involvement.
Yard sales? yeesh- if I'm shopping, I won't bargain. Pay the price or move on. We've had plenty of them and it's sometimes ridiculous what people will haggle over. If it's a family that's obviously not well to do; we make deals. If it's some crusty old woman in a Lincoln, we'll laugh her out of the garage.

My policy is based quite heavily on the type of good or service being considered- I'm on the receiving end quite often, and find it disrespectful when people want to compare my price on an item (delivered, installed, warranted, and guaranteed) to some B grade, special run, loss leader merchandise at the big box store. I love it when they have to pay me to come back and work on that crap- when if they'd paid me another $20 to start with- it'd be my problem.

 

[DarkBee]

If I'm at some place/country where bargaining is pretty much expected, I will not hesitate. However, some goods just have a set price and I'm perfectly fine with paying said price.

 

[WriterDom]

The worst that can happen is they can say no. You wouldn't think Home Depot would bargain on a push mower but I asked for 25 dollars off and after getting the department manager she didn't hesitate to say yes.

Yard sells are very tough in this economic climate. People aren't buying and when they do, they generally want something for nothing. Most small businesses I talk to say the same thing. People just aren't spending money. Christmas is usually make or break for retail and I expect many will fold around here. We already have shopping centers that are 75, 85, or even 90% vacant. The only thing open at one is a Chinese restaurant.

 

[jackdncguy]

We had a garage sale today, and it struck me how many people either shied away from, or outright refused to, bargain/negotiate. I did notice a few patterns, but overall, there was a general unwillingness to make an offer and negotiate, even though we made it very clear to everyone that we were open to all offers and looking to get rid of stuff. And, well, the whole situation just got me thinking about the whole topic, especially because I'm going to enter negotiations to buy a company vehicle for my husband shortly (I'm definitely the better bargainer in the family).

Here are some of my questions, but feel free to skip or veer away from them:

Are you a negotiator? For things like yard sale items? Vehicles? How about for sex or in relationships?

If you're not a bargainer, why not?

Are you male or female and how old are you? (I'm trying to discern if there's a gender and/or generational difference.)

Is there anything in particular that makes you a negotiator (or not), like cultural background, watching certain family members, or certain experiences?

Do you have a good bargain story, like where you negotiated your ass off and/or just got a really awesome deal?

I love to negotiate and bargain in business and personal. I however do not bargain for sex.

I am a 30 year old guy who owns my own company and in the type of business we do negotations are a key part of it. If you can't play poker well don't come see me.

Experience has made me a better negotiator when I first started I was horrible but over the past ten years I have gotten pretty good at it.

I cant share any stories they are all business related.

 

[invisible_girl]

i bargain sometimes, if the price is higher than what i'm willing to pay and if i think the seller will be receptive to haggling. but many people just aren't interested in haggling, or don't know how to do it or don't find it socially acceptable, so many times the seller isn't receptive. because i've found that so often, i don't bargain much.

i'm a woman in my twenties. and i haven't actually bought/paid for a house or a car myself, so i'm not including those experiences.