So many people these days live a life of physical ease and all too easily available distraction that they are in increasing numbers, depressed. That's my opinion.
If we still had to work our asses off to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table and so on, I suspect we would all be better off mentally.
Have you ever worked so hard physically for such a sustained period of time that you actually felt exhausted but happy? That's part of what is missing in our lives of relative ease.
Plus, these lives leave us too much time to focus on ourselves which leads to discontent, loneliness, guilt and other nearly paralyzing things.
Now I'm not saying I'd like to go to back to the hunter / gatherer way of life but I do feel that everyone needs more physical work and more meaningful work to feel happy and worthy in the world.
D/s is great. When I'm feeling guilty, a spanking or something can help a bit. It's certainly no cure for depression.
As stated above I think that greater numbers of people are depressed. Also greater numbers are willing to say they are depressed therefore greater numbers of people involved with BDSM will say they are depressed but IMO, this doesn't provide a link between the two. Not at all.
It is all too easy to draw false causal data from linking things like this. Too often people do that with anything considered edgy or different that others are or like. It's most often false, not to mention somewhat demeaning and belittling, to the group of people involved in such. In simple terms this question is really, BDSM = mental illness?
So many people these days live a life of physical ease and all too easily available distraction that they are in increasing numbers, depressed. That's my opinion.
If we still had to work our asses off to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table and so on, I suspect we would all be better off mentally.
Have you ever worked so hard physically for such a sustained period of time that you actually felt exhausted but happy? That's part of what is missing in our lives of relative ease.
Plus, these lives leave us too much time to focus on ourselves which leads to discontent, loneliness, guilt and other nearly paralyzing things.
Now I'm not saying I'd like to go to back to the hunter / gatherer way of life but I do feel that everyone needs more physical work and more meaningful work to feel happy and worthy in the world.
D/s is great. When I'm feeling guilty, a spanking or something can help a bit. It's certainly no cure for depression.
As stated above I think that greater numbers of people are depressed. Also greater numbers are willing to say they are depressed therefore greater numbers of people involved with BDSM will say they are depressed but IMO, this doesn't provide a link between the two. Not at all.
It is all too easy to draw false causal data from linking things like this. Too often people do that with anything considered edgy or different that others are or like. It's most often false, not to mention somewhat demeaning and belittling, to the group of people involved in such. In simple terms this question is really, BDSM = mental illness?
I have to say, it always angers and saddens me when people suggest that a significant percentage of submissives are victims of childhood sexual abuse. They're always referring to women too. Are male subs also victims of sexual abuse or can they be credited as free thinking adults with the self awareness and self confidence to seek out what gratifies them sexually?
And what the hell do you mean by 'unusually large number?' How many actual, real life submissive women have you personally got to know and played with? And no, a chatroom doesn't count.
Although many people are drawn to the internet because they can express themselves anonymously and discuss traumatic life events without embarrassment or shame, many more are drawn because they're socially dysfunctional and/or compulsive fantasists. People who are practising BDSM safely, sanely and consensually with no emotional hang ups are much less likely to seek out places like this forum, because they have no need for it. Put simply, they have better things to do with their time.
People of both genders carry baggage because of all kinds of things. To suggest that a large percentage of female subs are childhood abuse victims who can't cope with their emotional issues in a healthy way maligns the whole community. It reduces our sexual nature to a compulsion born of mental illness. It suggests that submissive women simply aren't capable of knowing what's best for themselves and seeking it out in a safe, consensual and mutually gratifying way. It's a shockingly chauvinistic perspective, as is that of any self-styled dominant who imagines that BDSM is a substitute for professional therapy, who arrogantly assumes he can 'save' or 'heal' a submissive woman who has suffered abuse, whether sexual, physical or psychological, from a parent, a stranger or a previous partner.
It gives predatory assholes who think female subs are easy meat who will tolerate physical, sexual and mental abuse a fucking hard on.
It insults every woman who has survived abuse, come out stronger and then made the informed choice to explore sexual submission with a loving, trusted partner.
It undermines every woman who submits freely and simply because it gives her a sexual thrill to do so.
You are scarily ignorant if you can't see the wider ramifications of generalised statements like the one you've made.
ETA: And no, I have never been abused, sexually or otherwise.
I think it would be really hard to do this, just based on trying to find an appropriate sample. Sexual studies are usually based on self-reporting (hello, Mr. Kinsey!) and neither BDSM nor previous experiences with abuse are commonly self-reported.I kind of agree with your rebuttal of your quoted post, but I am really curious to know if anyone has done any actual research into correllations between childhood or domestic abuse and submissiveness. from my own albeit limited experience, it seems there is a similar rate of incidence between bdsm and nilla folks. curiously my Dom was abused as a kid but i wasn't. I'm the one with the sexual hangups though
to admit to being depressed and maybe, just, people are more open about it.The only problem with self-reporting is from a statistical standpoint. You don't get a wide cross-section of BDSM practitioners. You get a wide cross-section of BDSM practitioners who are willing to respond to the survey. It doesn't make the collected data completely invalid, but it does skew them, because it's not a complete sample. Forgive me, I've been taking sociology classes.
You win the internets.
*bows to your superior knowledge*
