what is Consensual?

[Dearelliot]

I was wondering about the word consensual...If a person was allowed to move into a really nice home, one with a pool, large gardens, gardening and cleaning staff and enjoy all of the benefits that go with living there....food, warmth, comfort, minimal responsibility...but in turn the person was asked if they would agree to perform submissive sexual acts, maybe a bit distasteful but not terribly painful, would their performance be considered consnsual?
Or say be allowed to live with and be taken care of by George Clooney, and in turn deviant sexual demands would be made upon you, but the choice is enjoying life with George and performing or leaving. Is that consensual?

 

[jane_spitteler]

That is absolutely consentual. Being forced to stay would not be.

 

[JMohegan]

If the choice is between your family living on the streets and begging for food, or shelter + sexual acts you find distasteful and would otherwise not be performing.... that's not "consensual" per my use of the term.

If the choice is between a self-sustaining existence in an average apartment, or luxury pool villa + sexual acts you find distasteful and would otherwise not be performing.... that's consensual whoring.

 

[rosco rathbone]

or luxury pool villa + sexual acts you find distasteful and would otherwise not be performing.... that's consensual whoring.

Lewd!

 

[JMohegan]

Lewd!

Ha!

You'd be outstanding as owner of the villa, you know.

 

[Dearelliot]

Well "forced to stay" thats kind of criminal I think, assuming we are not bringing criminal acts into the discussion...just a persons choice...maybe you could say for a better lifestyle..they remain...and perform..Im thinking there may well be many wives who already do this..not necessairily BDSM but other acts that might be distasteful...so to speak.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Well "forced to stay" thats kind of criminal I think, assuming we are not bringing criminal acts into the discussion...just a persons choice...maybe you could say for a better lifestyle..they remain...and perform..Im thinking there may well be many wives who already do this..not necessairily BDSM but other acts that might be distasteful...so to speak.

There are many husbands who do distasteful acts in order to stay in marriages( and be able to see their kids everyday) too.

 

[ecstaticsub]

If the choice is between your family living on the streets and begging for food, or shelter + sexual acts you find distasteful and would otherwise not be performing.... that's not "consensual" per my use of the term.

If the choice is between a self-sustaining existence in an average apartment, or luxury pool villa + sexual acts you find distasteful and would otherwise not be performing.... that's consensual whoring.

I agree. I would also add that if a person enters into a arrangement consensually and then through the use of threats or intimidation the person is forced to stay and do distaste activities that were not previously agreed on then that is no longer consensual.

 

[jane_spitteler]

That's funny, you think not consenting to something is different from being criminal? Even nasty or violent things are legal if they are consented to. A boxer can consent to being punched in the face. A sub can consent to being locked in a cage over night. Either of those without consent is criminal.

And the flipside is that being pressured or coerced is completely fine. (I don't agree with that, but it's how society works). Someone mentioned given the choice of performing sexual acts or being thrown out on the street is considered non consentual. Well, if I don't go into work everyday and can't pay my bills, I will be thrown out onto the street. I don't want to work my shitty job every day, but I consent to it because I still have the choice of living on the street if I really wanted to.... which I don't.

 

[richard_daily]

I was wondering about the word consensual...If a person was allowed to move into a really nice home, one with a pool, large gardens, gardening and cleaning staff and enjoy all of the benefits that go with living there....food, warmth, comfort, minimal responsibility...but in turn the person was asked if they would agree to perform submissive sexual acts, maybe a bit distasteful but not terribly painful, would their performance be considered consnsual?
Or say be allowed to live with and be taken care of by George Clooney, and in turn deviant sexual demands would be made upon you, but the choice is enjoying life with George and performing or leaving. Is that consensual?

In both cases; as long as choice is being given, it's absolutely consensual.

 

[Dearelliot]

That's funny, you think not consenting to something is different from being criminal? Even nasty or violent things are legal if they are consented to. A boxer can consent to being punched in the face. A sub can consent to being locked in a cage over night. Either of those without consent is criminal.

And the flipside is that being pressured or coerced is completely fine. (I don't agree with that, but it's how society works). Someone mentioned given the choice of performing sexual acts or being thrown out on the street is considered non consentual. Well, if I don't go into work everyday and can't pay my bills, I will be thrown out onto the street. I don't want to work my shitty job every day, but I consent to it because I still have the choice of living on the street if I really wanted to.... which I don't.

I agree with your analogy re working.. but confused about your statement and I quote .."You think not consenting to something is different from being criminal"
Sorry Im unable to understand that..I do think being forced against your will to stay someplace (other than by law enforcement) ...sounds criminal and illegal to me..

 

[Stella_Omega]

I am trying to imagine how any sexual act with George Clooney could be distasteful.

"Damn, all this nice living, and all the kinky too? This is heaven!"

 

[rosco rathbone]

Ha!

You'd be outstanding as owner of the villa, you know.

I'd love that. The faked smiles and orgasms, knowing they were hating every second...

 

[Red_and_Mackie]

I was wondering about the word consensual...If a person was allowed to move into a really nice home, one with a pool, large gardens, gardening and cleaning staff and enjoy all of the benefits that go with living there....food, warmth, comfort, minimal responsibility...but in turn the person was asked if they would agree to perform submissive sexual acts, maybe a bit distasteful but not terribly painful, would their performance be considered consnsual?
Or say be allowed to live with and be taken care of by George Clooney, and in turn deviant sexual demands would be made upon you, but the choice is enjoying life with George and performing or leaving. Is that consensual?

Sounds like being "kept" to me.
We should all be so lucky!

 

[Dearelliot]

I am trying to imagine how any sexual act with George Clooney could be distasteful.

"Damn, all this nice living, and all the kinky too? This is heaven!"

Well maybe George has friends he wishes to invite over...but as far as George...well my wife agrees with you there.

 

[NomadLady]

I am trying to imagine how any sexual act with George Clooney could be distasteful.

"Damn, all this nice living, and all the kinky too? This is heaven!"

Dang Stella...again, took the words right outta my loud mouth....LOL

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well maybe George has friends he wishes to invite over...but as far as George...well my wife agrees with you there.

Lemme see. George's friends; Mark Wahlburg, Ben Weiss... Renee Zellweger...Cate Blanchette maybe? Angelina Jolie? Various and sundry hunky, hard working cameramen (and women) stunt folks, a few rough trade teamster types... a rich and powerful producer or two (who mostly want to play sub when they can)

Oooh, spare my delicate sensibilities!

 

[JMohegan]

I'd love that. The faked smiles and orgasms, knowing they were hating every second...

I know, that's why you'd be great!

 

[FungiUg]

I am trying to imagine how any sexual act with George Clooney could be distasteful.

If you're really good, he'll even build you a fucking machine in the basement!

 

[jane_spitteler]

I just mean you seemed to make a distinction between something non-consentual, and my "forced to stay" comment. Like not consenting was different from being forced into something. They are the same thing, no?

Well "forced to stay" thats kind of criminal I think, assuming we are not bringing criminal acts into the discussion...just a persons choice...maybe you could say for a better lifestyle..they remain...and perform..Im thinking there may well be many wives who already do this..not necessairily BDSM but other acts that might be distasteful...so to speak.

 

[satindesire]

*pokes her head in* Did someone say something about fucking Angelina Jolie?!

 

[Stella_Omega]

*pokes her head in* Did someone say something about fucking Angelina Jolie?!

Now that you mention it...

 

[FungiUg]

I just mean you seemed to make a distinction between something non-consentual, and my "forced to stay" comment. Like not consenting was different from being forced into something. They are the same thing, no?

There is actually a legal definition of consensual, and it excludes force, even in the form of duress.

The consensual that BDSM practitioners advocate is informed "this is what I want to do" type of decisions, not "oh, he tricked me into it" or "she forced me into it" or even "I had to because..." Those are forms of force or duress, and are not consensual.

 

[ImOnIt]

Some people on this board would have you believe that one can give away their human rights permanently, say in a master/slave relationship. They're wrong.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

*pokes her head in* Did someone say something about fucking Angelina Jolie?!

Now that you mention it...

She's far too think these days for my liking. Much preferred the Lara Croft days.

Christina Hendricks is my current favourite.