Coming down from sub-high (subs only please)

[bruisedweasel]

I have been given permission to ask a question on here by me Dom, but only to other submissives.

My question concerns coming down from what I've been told is a sub-high. I've met a Dom, who is wonderfully patient with me, and yesterday introduced me to some basic activities. After we parted, I was riding pretty high for several hours, felt exhausted after I came down, and tried to sleep early. But after about 2 or 3 hours of sleep, I had insomnia. I called him, and we talked for a bit on the phone, and he said I was coming off a sub-high, crashing actually.

My question to the other subs is: how have you dealt with crashes, and what have you found helps ease the trip down? My Dom cannot give me advice, so he asked me to seek help from others with first hand experience. Your advice will be much appreciated.

 

[NomadLady]

I have been given permission to ask a question on here by me Dom, but only to other submissives.

My question concerns coming down from what I've been told is a sub-high. I've met a Dom, who is wonderfully patient with me, and yesterday introduced me to some basic activities. After we parted, I was riding pretty high for several hours, felt exhausted after I came down, and tried to sleep early. But after about 2 or 3 hours of sleep, I had insomnia. I called him, and we talked for a bit on the phone, and he said I was coming off a sub-high, crashing actually.

My question to the other subs is: how have you dealt with crashes, and what have you found helps ease the trip down? My Dom cannot give me advice, so he asked me to seek help from others with first hand experience. Your advice will be much appreciated.

I think if he is an experienced Dom he should know about aftercare.....

 

[RawHumor]

I'm not a submissive, but what you're referring to is typically called "sub drop".

There have been a few discussions on it here in the past:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=304024

 

[chy_girl]

I have been given permission to ask a question on here by me Dom, but only to other submissives.

My question concerns coming down from what I've been told is a sub-high. I've met a Dom, who is wonderfully patient with me, and yesterday introduced me to some basic activities. After we parted, I was riding pretty high for several hours, felt exhausted after I came down, and tried to sleep early. But after about 2 or 3 hours of sleep, I had insomnia. I called him, and we talked for a bit on the phone, and he said I was coming off a sub-high, crashing actually.

My question to the other subs is: how have you dealt with crashes, and what have you found helps ease the trip down? My Dom cannot give me advice, so he asked me to seek help from others with first hand experience. Your advice will be much appreciated.

Subdrop
I also tend to look at what the drop is related to, if it's related to anything. About 80% of the time, for me, there's an underlying issue that I need to discuss with my People. Other than that, I treat it much like a situational depression only with extra reassurances from my People.

And not to be obnoxious or bitchy or anything, but what about switches? Or PYL's that trained as pyl's first? Or PYL's that are masochists and only bottom for occasional play? Or PYL's that are prone to Topdrop and have learned tricks to deal with it? And what are you supposed to do if a PYL does answer... or, for that matter, how do you tell which are PYLs, pyls, and switches?

 

[bruisedweasel]

I think if he is an experienced Dom he should know about aftercare.....

The problem is I'm not living with him, and the drop hit several hours after he left. I think what he wants me to look for is advice I can use when he's not physically able to be there with me.

Thank you for the links, I'm looking at them now.

 

[VelvetSin]

I have been given permission to ask a question on here by me Dom, but only to other submissives.

My question concerns coming down from what I've been told is a sub-high. I've met a Dom, who is wonderfully patient with me, and yesterday introduced me to some basic activities. After we parted, I was riding pretty high for several hours, felt exhausted after I came down, and tried to sleep early. But after about 2 or 3 hours of sleep, I had insomnia. I called him, and we talked for a bit on the phone, and he said I was coming off a sub-high, crashing actually.

My question to the other subs is: how have you dealt with crashes, and what have you found helps ease the trip down? My Dom cannot give me advice, so he asked me to seek help from others with first hand experience. Your advice will be much appreciated.

On the physical side, drink a lot of fluids, tend to any wounds, and pamper yourself. Take a bubble bath or whatever you usually do to relax. I had a terrible case of insomnia a few weeks ago afterwards and got in some trouble for not making Him aware until hours later when he woke on his own and realized I'd been up the whole time. He encouraged chocolate but I don't know if that is just because I like it and was being pampered, or if there's a need for sugar. He had me (and helped me out with) anything that helps me relax and mellow out but it still took until the next night before I could really rest. When I did finally sleep though, I slept like the dead!

Hopefully you can get some help with comfort but if he can't be *there*, maybe he can be by telephone. I assume everyone's first few scenes hit hard and what you're going through is normal. It has been for me. Like others said, Google sub drop and after care for plenty of other suggestions and explanations. Mainly, just take it easy, take care of yourself, and know that it's normal and will fade with a little time and self-pampering.

 

[NomadLady]

The problem is I'm not living with him, and the drop hit several hours after he left. I think what he wants me to look for is advice I can use when he's not physically able to be there with me.

Thank you for the links, I'm looking at them now.

But I think that should have been something he is trying to teach you "could/would" happen....even after just basic activities as you described. I would recommend reading "The Loving Dominant"....great book for beginning subs to learn more about "good" Dom behavior...and when to recognize bad behavior or neglect.

New subs need more nurturing that you might think sometimes.

 

[bruisedweasel]

Hopefully you can get some help with comfort but if he can't be *there*, maybe he can be by telephone. I assume everyone's first few scenes hit hard and what you're going through is normal. It has been for me. Like others said, Google sub drop and after care for plenty of other suggestions and explanations. Mainly, just take it easy, take care of yourself, and know that it's normal and will fade with a little time and self-pampering.

He did give me something very dear to him to keep with me as a reminder of his presence, and I'm about to check in with him to let him know how I'm doing. I'm hoping having the object with me will help when I feel alone and vulnerable.

It looks like I need to deal with this like I deal with my depression. The links were very informative, thank you. I really should have searched first, I know. But now I have a better idea how to handle the next drop.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I just went through a particularly painful episode of subdrop. I do not live with my Dominant. We have been together for over 5 years.

What I discovered is that what I felt like I needed--extra attention from him, nurturing, sweetness etc wasn't really what worked. What I really needed was for things to go back to normal. Meaning me as his obedient, non-whiny submissive who tends to his needs and wants. Many times Dominants go through Dom drop or otherwise have issues of their own after a session. As his submissive my job is to not dwell on my own emotional turmoil but to take care of him.

Taking care of his needs is the best aftercare I could have. This includes leaving him alone and not being whiny about your own needs.

 

[CutieMouse]

But I think that should have been something he is trying to teach you "could/would" happen....even after just basic activities as you described. I would recommend reading "The Loving Dominant"....great book for beginning subs to learn more about "good" Dom behavior...and when to recognize bad behavior or neglect.

New subs need more nurturing that you might think sometimes.

Devil's advocate -

Not providing "aftercare" is not necessarily a sign of a "bad Dom". Not everyone *needs* aftercare; not everyone is interested in providing aftercare.

Would it have been nice for the guy to say "BTW - you might have an endorphin drop at some point in the next few hours/days, it's perfectly normal, blahblahblah..."? Yes. But to imply his not doing so was somehow negligent, is similar to implying the submissive in question is being clingy/needy/demanding for experiencing the drop.

To the OP - Does your Dom know you have a history of depression? You may be feeling a little fragile and emotional, and attributing it to the session, but the "cure" is often similar to the tricks one uses to deal with depression - relax/meditate, mild exercise (a walk), sunshine, a bubble bath, a normal routine, healthy diet, communication, journaling, etc.

 

[NomadLady]

Devil's advocate -

Not providing "aftercare" is not necessarily a sign of a "bad Dom". Not everyone *needs* aftercare; not everyone is interested in providing aftercare.

Would it have been nice for the guy to say "BTW - you might have an endorphin drop at some point in the next few hours/days, it's perfectly normal, blahblahblah..."? Yes. But to imply his not doing so was somehow negligent, is similar to implying the submissive in question is being clingy/needy/demanding for experiencing the drop.

To the OP - Does your Dom know you have a history of depression? You may be feeling a little fragile and emotional, and attributing it to the session, but the "cure" is often similar to the tricks one uses to deal with depression - relax/meditate, mild exercise (a walk), sunshine, a bubble bath, a normal routine, healthy diet, communication, journaling, etc.

Thanks CutieMouse....I wasn't implying this Dom was really anything bad or whatever, just that her being so new, information is power...

 

[Submissive_Salena]

Oh thanks for asking bruisedweasel!!

I have been given permission to ask a question on here by me Dom, but only to other submissives.

My question concerns coming down from what I've been told is a sub-high. I've met a Dom, who is wonderfully patient with me, and yesterday introduced me to some basic activities. After we parted, I was riding pretty high for several hours, felt exhausted after I came down, and tried to sleep early. But after about 2 or 3 hours of sleep, I had insomnia. I called him, and we talked for a bit on the phone, and he said I was coming off a sub-high, crashing actually.

My question to the other subs is: how have you dealt with crashes, and what have you found helps ease the trip down? My Dom cannot give me advice, so he asked me to seek help from others with first hand experience. Your advice will be much appreciated.

Ever since texting, phoning, and actual "sessions" I have been having problems sleeping! I am doing the same thing, sleep for about 2-3 hrs and then wake up, thinking, fantasizing... I was wondering why!!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

For me, the answer is usually comfort food (generally something with a high GI for that fast sugar rush into the blood), a Bruce Willis DVD, and Mr's jacket as a pillow.

Then I snuggle up and zone out and just let things even out naturally.


If it's a bad drop on the other hand, blergh. Add chocolate and crying down the phone to some friends into that equation. Again, just something to ride out.

 

[Homburg]

Devil's advocate -

Not providing "aftercare" is not necessarily a sign of a "bad Dom". Not everyone *needs* aftercare; not everyone is interested in providing aftercare.

To add to that, sometimes it is not physically possible, such as a long-distance relationship. I can't count the number of times I've driven away knowing there would be a crash after I left. Not much you can do when you have nine hours drive ahead of you and work in the morning.

 

[00Syd]

You just have to take care of yourself. Watch your favorite movie, eat your favorite takeout, take a nice bath, whatever will help you feel better during a blue-feeling stretch of time. There isn't usually much else you can do.

 

[bruisedweasel]

Devil's advocate -
To the OP - Does your Dom know you have a history of depression? You may be feeling a little fragile and emotional, and attributing it to the session, but the "cure" is often similar to the tricks one uses to deal with depression - relax/meditate, mild exercise (a walk), sunshine, a bubble bath, a normal routine, healthy diet, communication, journaling, etc.

My mental health was one of the first things I brought up when We/we met.

 

[rosco rathbone]

The only cure for "coming down from the sub-high" is more sub high!

 

[FungiUg]

Ever since texting, phoning, and actual "sessions" I have been having problems sleeping! I am doing the same thing, sleep for about 2-3 hrs and then wake up, thinking, fantasizing... I was wondering why!!

Um... don't think that's necessarily sub drop, Salena. More like sub high.

If you're new to experiencing submission (or dominance), then it can be all-encompassing, and you think about it all the time, and your body reacts accordingly making it hard to sleep, function, work, etc.

It's another vital part of aftercare, helping reintegrate with normal life function. And it's hard, especially for people who have never experienced it before.

Talk to your dominant about it. Honestly. You may need a daily programme of vigorous exercise, a meal planner, an enforced work schedule... whatever works to get you back on track. You can explore that with your dominant.

 

[chy_girl]

Um... don't think that's necessarily sub drop, Salena. More like sub high.

If you're new to experiencing submission (or dominance), then it can be all-encompassing, and you think about it all the time, and your body reacts accordingly making it hard to sleep, function, work, etc.

It's another vital part of aftercare, helping reintegrate with normal life function. And it's hard, especially for people who have never experienced it before.

Talk to your dominant about it. Honestly. You may need a daily programme of vigorous exercise, a meal planner, an enforced work schedule... whatever works to get you back on track. You can explore that with your dominant.

Daily tasks that I report to Mistress worked well for me. It shortened the emotional leash, so to speak, when we're apart and provides me with the ability to serve her in some manner. I supposed it could even be said that it gives the subbie-girl part something to work (*cough*obsess*cough*) on so the rest of me could focus and accomplish things like staying employed, housework and child-wrangling... rearing. I mean child rearing.

 

[FungiUg]

I mean child rearing.

Child raring, perhaps?

 

[satindesire]

The only cure for "coming down from the sub-high" is more sub high!

How Walkenesque of you.

 

[chy_girl]

Child raring, perhaps?

*snort*
Not today.

 

[BiBunny]

The only cure for "coming down from the sub-high" is more sub high!

Kind of like how the way to avoid hangovers is just to stay drunk?


As to the OP, I struggle with dropping harder than anyone I know (in real life, I mean). However, since Mr. ZOMG Uber Dom said only subs could reply, I'll be keeping my thoughts to myself.

 

[DirtyPet]

Thank you for asking this and thanks to everyone that gave their advice/experience...I myself have never been lucky enough to have a D/s relationship IRL..I am so happy that the people here at lit are so willing to share and help or I'd be very misinformed about this lifestyle...again thank you all so much.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I'm posting this because I'm not supposed to.