Designed to fail

[Keroin]

Lunch break!

This morning I was skimming through a few of the threads and there was one - I think it was the Tasking thread - in which a few pyls mentioned how much they disliked tasks that were designed to ensure failure, (and thereby require punishment).

Personally, I don't have an issue with such tasks, in fact they have been some of my favourites, which got me to wondering why, and that got me to thinking about "failure".

For me, failure is not an end result but a process. I try my best to succeed, at everything I do, but I also know and accept that this won't happen. I also love the things I learn from failure. To me, failure presents infinitely more opportunities for growth than success does.

So, curious...how do you view failure? Do you like it? Hate it? Don't care about it? How do you deal with it? And how does it factor into your BDSM life?

 

[wicked woman]

I can easily accept that I won't succeed at everything I try...that failure is a possibility. In some ways that's life. I agree with you that we often learn more from our failures/mistakes than our successes. Doesn't make the successes any less sweet though. In my mind, there is no similarity to this and the example you mentioned of a PYL purposely giving me a task knowing/hoping that I'd fail.

Our D/s relationship very rarely has a punishment component. Partially because he doesn't need a reason to do what he would like with me, so there is no reason to add the punishment component as an 'excuse'. But mostly because he knows it hurts my soul to disappoint him (god I'm even on the verge of tears just typing that) and I'll do almost anything to not disappoint him. He's a smart man to realize that there really isn't a punishment much worse than that. To purposely set me up to fail would be a cruelty beyond his sadism.

I think the difference is that the D/s example is purposeful versus the everyday example which isn't purposeful. None of us is perfect or will always have things going our way in life. We know we won't always have control of everything so much as we might try, there will always be failures in our life. We can try our best and still not succeed.

In the D/s example, or in our personal situation, if I fail or disappoint him, it's because of me...not some external 'something'. I've never been able to understand why a PYL would purposely try to set a pyl up for failure. For most pyls that I know, disappointing their PYL is enough punishment in itself. It just seems more honest to me for the PYL to exert his control over the pyl and have his way with her just because he wants to instead of 'needing' to punish her as a reason...unless they both get off on the failing/punishing.

 

[satindesire]

In my reality, failure is harmful to my emotional health, and anything Mister sets in front of me as a task would, ideally, be something that is possible for me to complete perfectly.

Punishment isn't something that should be taken lightly, in my opinion. If you want to whoop my ass, make me kneel in rice, whatever, then tell me. But don't make it part of a plot, because the emotions behind failure are far too deep and soul-crushing to be enjoyed by either of us.

 

[Keroin]

I can easily accept that I won't succeed at everything I try...that failure is a possibility. In some ways that's life. I agree with you that we often learn more from our failures/mistakes than our successes. Doesn't make the successes any less sweet though. In my mind, there is no similarity to this and the example you mentioned of a PYL purposely giving me a task knowing/hoping that I'd fail.

Our D/s relationship very rarely has a punishment component. Partially because he doesn't need a reason to do what he would like with me, so there is no reason to add the punishment component as an 'excuse'. But mostly because he knows it hurts my soul to disappoint him (god I'm even on the verge of tears just typing that) and I'll do almost anything to not disappoint him. He's a smart man to realize that there really isn't a punishment much worse than that. To purposely set me up to fail would be a cruelty beyond his sadism.

I think the difference is that the D/s example is purposeful versus the everyday example which isn't purposeful. None of us is perfect or will always have things going our way in life. We know we won't always have control of everything so much as we might try, there will always be failures in our life. We can try our best and still not succeed.

In the D/s example, or in our personal situation, if I fail or disappoint him, it's because of me...not some external 'something'. I've never been able to understand why a PYL would purposely try to set a pyl up for failure. For most pyls that I know, disappointing their PYL is enough punishment in itself. It just seems more honest to me for the PYL to exert his control over the pyl and have his way with her just because he wants to instead of 'needing' to punish her as a reason...unless they both get off on the failing/punishing.

Oh dear, I certainly didn't intend to bring anyone to tears! Just curious about the subject is all.

In my reality, failure is harmful to my emotional health, and anything Mister sets in front of me as a task would, ideally, be something that is possible for me to complete perfectly.

Punishment isn't something that should be taken lightly, in my opinion. If you want to whoop my ass, make me kneel in rice, whatever, then tell me. But don't make it part of a plot, because the emotions behind failure are far too deep and soul-crushing to be enjoyed by either of us.

Okee dokee. I get it.

But here's a related question...

In life, how many tasks/challenges do you, (general "you", not you specifically Satin), undertake where the probability of success is an unknown *or* it is lower than, say 50%?

I'm just wondering if there's a correlation between risk taking and fear of failure.

As I said, when I read through that thread, (and I really just skimmed, I don't even recall who posted), I tried to figure out why the "designed to fail" tasks intrigue me. I think, partly, it's because I love to attempt the impossible or near-impossible. The "punishment" aspect is really a non-issue, just a mild motivator at best. (I am my own motivator). Also, when it comes to pleasing a PYL, well, some people get off on watching some other people run in circles, their chronic overachiever brains driving them forward as they cling to the silly illusion that "maybe" they can beat the system this time, like a rabid pitbull on a slipper...not that I would know anything about that

Hm.

And I just don't get that bent out of shape if I don't please him. Maybe that's another part of it.

 

[wicked woman]

Oh dear, I certainly didn't intend to bring anyone to tears! Just curious about the subject is all.



Okee dokee. I get it.

But here's a related question...

In life, how many tasks/challenges do you, (general "you", not you specifically Satin), undertake where the probability of success is an unknown *or* it is lower than, say 50%?

I'm just wondering if there's a correlation between risk taking and fear of failure.

As I said, when I read through that thread, (and I really just skimmed, I don't even recall who posted), I tried to figure out why the "designed to fail" tasks intrigue me. I think, partly, it's because I love to attempt the impossible or near-impossible. The "punishment" aspect is really a non-issue, just a mild motivator at best. (I am my own motivator). Also, when it comes to pleasing a PYL, well, some people get off on watching some other people run in circles, their chronic overachiever brains driving them forward as they cling to the silly illusion that "maybe" they can beat the system this time, like a rabid pitbull on a slipper...not that I would know anything about that

Hm.

And I just don't get that bent out of shape if I don't please him. Maybe that's another part of it.

Just verge not actual tears...as satindesire says, it involves emotions. np

As to your general question whether there is a correlation between risk taking and fear of failure...I'd conjecture a direct relationship.

 

[Netzach]

Lunch break!

This morning I was skimming through a few of the threads and there was one - I think it was the Tasking thread - in which a few pyls mentioned how much they disliked tasks that were designed to ensure failure, (and thereby require punishment).

Personally, I don't have an issue with such tasks, in fact they have been some of my favourites, which got me to wondering why, and that got me to thinking about "failure".

For me, failure is not an end result but a process. I try my best to succeed, at everything I do, but I also know and accept that this won't happen. I also love the things I learn from failure. To me, failure presents infinitely more opportunities for growth than success does.

So, curious...how do you view failure? Do you like it? Hate it? Don't care about it? How do you deal with it? And how does it factor into your BDSM life?

I don't design these tasks, nor tolerate them as given to me and never have.

My upbringing was positively risk averse insane.

I've since shouldered risks, come to love risk, failed and gotten on top of it, and I have taken risks that I perceive as great. I abhor the idea of anyone else getting a lot of credit for that - I did it.

I think I learn enough about risk/failure as risk taken/failure as inevitability sometimes from my generally forgiven failures in the normal course of earnest attempts. I don't need a crazy-maker in T, I need a champion of my success.

I make H do a lot of insanely unpleasant and embarrassing things, so when he says "I don't think I can do that one" and gives me a valid reason, I listen up. I alter it so it's possible - highly unpleasant but *possible* to us both.

 

[Keroin]

I don't design these tasks, nor tolerate them as given to me and never have.

My upbringing was positively risk averse insane.

I've since shouldered risks, come to love risk, failed and gotten on top of it, and I have taken risks that I perceive as great. I abhor the idea of anyone else getting a lot of credit for that - I did it.

I think I learn enough about risk/failure as risk taken/failure as inevitability sometimes from my generally forgiven failures in the normal course of earnest attempts. I don't need a crazy-maker in T, I need a champion of my success.

I make H do a lot of insanely unpleasant and embarrassing things, so when he says "I don't think I can do that one" and gives me a valid reason, I listen up. I alter it so it's possible - highly unpleasant but *possible* to us both.

This all makes sense.

Gosh, I wonder if I'm the only person who likes this stuff?

 

[satindesire]

Okee dokee. I get it.

But here's a related question...

In life, how many tasks/challenges do you, (general "you", not you specifically Satin), undertake where the probability of success is an unknown *or* it is lower than, say 50%?

Tasks or challenges in my daily life are mostly things I'm totally used to completing perfectly all the time. I've found that being highly self-motivated with an insane ability to turn my emotions off and "just do it" no matter what helps me succeed in doing even difficult things.

I'm just wondering if there's a correlation between risk taking and fear of failure.

As I said, when I read through that thread, (and I really just skimmed, I don't even recall who posted), I tried to figure out why the "designed to fail" tasks intrigue me. I think, partly, it's because I love to attempt the impossible or near-impossible. The "punishment" aspect is really a non-issue, just a mild motivator at best. (I am my own motivator). Also, when it comes to pleasing a PYL, well, some people get off on watching some other people run in circles, their chronic overachiever brains driving them forward as they cling to the silly illusion that "maybe" they can beat the system this time, like a rabid pitbull on a slipper...not that I would know anything about that

Hm.

And I just don't get that bent out of shape if I don't please him. Maybe that's another part of it.

Yes, the fact that you don't feel a greater sense of disappointment in yourself is probably why it's not that big of a deal to you. I'm a people pleasure first and foremost, it's a BIG part of my personality.

 

[JMohegan]

My dad was a big fan of the educational power of failure. He used to say, "If you're not failing on a regular basis, then you're not challenging yourself sufficiently."

I loved that philosophy. It gave me the freedom to try all kinds of new things, and practice, practice, practice till I got it right.

However..... when my dad said, "I expect you to do this," that's what he literally meant. Failure, in those instances, disappointed him greatly. So failure, for me, in those instances, was agonizing.

 

[subish2009]

My dad was a big fan of the educational power of failure. He used to say, "If you're not failing on a regular basis, then you're not challenging yourself sufficiently."

I loved that philosophy. It gave me the freedom to try all kinds of new things, and practice, practice, practice till I got it right.

However..... when my dad said, "I expect you to do this," that's what he literally meant. Failure, in those instances, disappointed him greatly. So failure, for me, in those instances, was agonizing.

Yes, exactly. My D/s relationships are not task-oriented, so I don't have a lot of r/l experience with this, or even cyber-experience with this, BUT I do relate to the soul-crushing pain of disappointing either of my D-types. The key, I think, is that some D-types can have both real, sincere expectations...the kind which failing to meet would cause real, sincere disappointment on both ends. That's not the kind of emotion you fuck around with lightly. But you can also have fun with it...I can very much imagine my online D in particular devising a task that we both know is impossible, with the intention that we'll both have fun with my trying to complete it anyway, laughing through the process.

A friend recently showed me some silly little game on his iphone that was like this. It became obvious to me pretty quickly that it was designed to be impossible to beat, but that didn't stop me from spending a good 10 minutes trying to succeed anyway, and enjoying myself very much because the challenge was fun for me. Is that kind of what you're talking about, Keroin? I mean, not that specific example, but that kind of feeling?

 

[satindesire]

Yes, exactly. My D/s relationships are not task-oriented, so I don't have a lot of r/l experience with this, or even cyber-experience with this, BUT I do relate to the soul-crushing pain of disappointing either of my D-types. The key, I think, is that some D-types can have both real, sincere expectations...the kind which failing to meet would cause real, sincere disappointment on both ends. That's not the kind of emotion you fuck around with lightly. But you can also have fun with it...I can very much imagine my online D in particular devising a task that we both know is impossible, with the intention that we'll both have fun with my trying to complete it anyway, laughing through the process.

A friend recently showed me some silly little game on his iphone that was like this. It became obvious to me pretty quickly that it was designed to be impossible to beat, but that didn't stop me from spending a good 10 minutes trying to succeed anyway, and enjoying myself very much because the challenge was fun for me. Is that kind of what you're talking about, Keroin? I mean, not that specific example, but that kind of feeling?

YES! Ed Zachery!

There are two types of tasks designed to fail, two types of punishment and two types of disappointment.

I was reluctant to say "True punishment" and "True disappointment" because of the emotional cues it would no doubt register (I.E. "true" submissive, etc), but there you have it.

 

[subish2009]

YES! Ed Zachery!

There are two types of tasks designed to fail, two types of punishment and two types of disappointment.

I was reluctant to say "True punishment" and "True disappointment" because of the emotional cues it would no doubt register (I.E. "true" submissive, etc), but there you have it.

Right. I hope it's clear that I did not intend to belittle either kind, just to state that one is...more lighthearted maybe? And the other more serious? I'm sure it depends on the dynamics of the individual relationship, but both my D/s relationships rely largely on having a good sense of humor, and I imagine Keroin's does as well, given what a good sense of humor she herself has.

 

[Netzach]

Yes, exactly. My D/s relationships are not task-oriented, so I don't have a lot of r/l experience with this, or even cyber-experience with this, BUT I do relate to the soul-crushing pain of disappointing either of my D-types. The key, I think, is that some D-types can have both real, sincere expectations...the kind which failing to meet would cause real, sincere disappointment on both ends. That's not the kind of emotion you fuck around with lightly. But you can also have fun with it...I can very much imagine my online D in particular devising a task that we both know is impossible, with the intention that we'll both have fun with my trying to complete it anyway, laughing through the process.

A friend recently showed me some silly little game on his iphone that was like this. It became obvious to me pretty quickly that it was designed to be impossible to beat, but that didn't stop me from spending a good 10 minutes trying to succeed anyway, and enjoying myself very much because the challenge was fun for me. Is that kind of what you're talking about, Keroin? I mean, not that specific example, but that kind of feeling?

Gamesmanship kind of fun stuff with this is just fun. It has to be pretty clear for me. I don't fuck around with a service oriented person lightly. It's also kind of surprising sometimes - I've been set up in a way that artfully hammers home how clever a top I'm playing with and I'm motivated by "damn wish I thought of that!" and I've also been around "designed to fail" stuff that has reminded me never to bottom to a particular player.

 

[minx1]

I hate failing. I'm a bit of a perfectionist that way.

I do fail though and when I do I just try to see it as somewhere to come back from.

I also take risks and often not calculated ones lol. Often ones where the possibility to fall on my arse is a massive one. But I like the challenge these present. I'd hate to think my own fear of failing would ever prevent me from giving something a go.

 

[graceanne]

In my reality, failure is harmful to my emotional health, and anything Mister sets in front of me as a task would, ideally, be something that is possible for me to complete perfectly.

Punishment isn't something that should be taken lightly, in my opinion. If you want to whoop my ass, make me kneel in rice, whatever, then tell me. But don't make it part of a plot, because the emotions behind failure are far too deep and soul-crushing to be enjoyed by either of us.

Sometimes you express me so well I feel like I should just let you post for me.

That said, I don't like to fail. I'm very likely to not even bother if I know I can't do it. I also won't bother if it's going to be a competitive thing; like I succeed, but my sister succeeded better! yay her! (The story of my life, if I did something well she had to do it better, and then gloat. )

However, that doesn't mean I don't fail well. I'm a good loser AND a good winner. If I think I can succeed at something, I'll try, and if I fail it's no big deal - I did my best. I just don't see the point in putting effort into something that you know you can't do. *shrugs*

For instance, if K were to tell me to fly or get my ass whooped I would not start building a flying machine. I'd bend over and say 'lets get it over with'. (He wouldn't do that, cause with us if he wants to spank me all has to do is say so, he doesn't have to make up reasons.)

 

[rida]

Too many good post to quote!

I too hate the "made to fail" task.
And that stem, among other things from the fact that I hate the use of the word "punishment" when used to implement a painful activity the PYL wishes to dish out.

If a PYL needs to come up with an "excuse" to feel allowed to beat me, and he creates such excuse by giving me "made to fail" tasks, I'm not the right pyl for him/her.

In real daily life, I have no problem in taking chances and failing. I understand that life is unfair and there is no 100% failure free task. I still hate failing, but I learn and move on. However also in real life I would never entertain a 100% failure rate task. Honestly, why bother.

There are "impossible to achieve" (or "almost impossible") orders that in the contest of a certain scene (cod I hate the word scene ... and play ...) are actually hot and I have no problem with. An example would be when while kneeling, hands tied and hanged by my nipples' clamp chain, the Sadist leisurely sat down out of reach and nonchalantly said "so where is my blow job?" (referencing a previous exchange we had). I could have yanked my clamps off and I tried, but we both knew I'm too much of a wimp for self inflicted pain

And then there are the "not impossible but very hurtful if failed" tasks that are somehow connected with deep seated insecurities. Purposely setting up "made to fail" tasks around such matters is something a PYL should, if aware of the triggers, be very cautious with.

 

[infinity706]

In my reality, failure is harmful to my emotional health, and anything Mister sets in front of me as a task would, ideally, be something that is possible for me to complete perfectly.

Punishment isn't something that should be taken lightly, in my opinion. If you want to whoop my ass, make me kneel in rice, whatever, then tell me. But don't make it part of a plot, because the emotions behind failure are far too deep and soul-crushing to be enjoyed by either of us.

That's probably my biggest weakness, as well. Failing to please people causes me more pain than anything. Ok, so it's not enough to break me or anything, but it still bothers me.

Of course, I have a fuck buddy that has a trauma level more like what you're describing. I still had a lot of fun pushing the limits a bit on it, though. The way it I did it, I just started out with a little teasing about being extra careful not to fuck things up. I didn't tease him about actual failures until later, though. I just built on it slowly until I got to the point of him becoming somewhat immune to it. Sure, it took a couple years, but it's certainly been fun to play with. It definately might be something to at least think about, though. Afterall, if you were training someone in the art of erotic whipping, you wouldn't start out with giving them 12 of the best with a junior cane. (ok, so I might give them one whack for demonstration purposes, to show progress over time)

 

[Keroin]

Went for grueling hike, too tired to respond but thanks everyone - great thoughts.

Guess I just fall well out of normal on this one. Oh well.

 

[satindesire]

Sometimes you express me so well I feel like I should just let you post for me.

Aw. Sweetie.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Went for grueling hike, too tired to respond but thanks everyone - great thoughts.

Guess I just fall well out of normal on this one. Oh well.

I'm glad that you're not the same as most with this. One of the things I like most about this board is how people are able to discuss their differences. I have a lot of respect for a lot of posters because of how they are able to get me to think about something in a new manner.

My take on this is that the punishment must fit the task. It could be that
with a task where you're a set up to fail, the failure itself is the punishment. I'm sure there are instances where that may not quite fit the task though. Something that is more of a lighthearted play versus a serious you messed up and majorly disappointed me would have different types of punishment. The mindset would be different.

I do believe that failure is an important part of life. We learn how to succeed in spite of failure. There were some tests that I was not allowed to take when I was a teenager because I might fail them. I needed to see what it was like to fail rather than develop an overinflated sense of my capabilities. Granted I was already aware that that would happen but I saw it happen to a lot of people I knew. They weren't prepared to move into other areas of life and floundered a lot because they had no idea how to deal with it.

 

[Keroin]

I feel some kind of explanation is in order.

I’m leery about digging to deeply into this. So let me just say that BDSM and everything about it – *for me* - is about fun, about play. It is where I go to enjoy myself and I just can’t take anything there too seriously outside of the moment. Now, in the rest of my life, (yes, I compartmentalize my BDSM), if I were to fail my hubby in some significant way, I’d feel terrible, as I would feel bad for failing anyone I loved in any important way.

And I think that my wiring is different enough from what I’m reading from everyone else that the idea of a PYL “making an excuse” to deliver punishment just doesn’t register for me. That's not what it's about, for me.

Upon further consideration, I think this dynamic really requires a specific type/combination of personalities in order to work.

I’ve got this friend who you can get to do just about anything by saying, “I bet you a dollar you can’t________.” He doesn’t give a shit about the dollar, he’s just wired up to respond to a challenge like that. I’m similar in that if my PYL says, “If you don’t pick up these one hundred marbles, using only your mouth, and deposit them in this jar in under sixty second, I’m going to whip you with a strand of licorice,” I’ll attempt the task with as much gusto and conviction as if he’d threatened to chop off a finger. Don’t know why, just how I am.

 

[subish2009]

I'm glad that you're not the same as most with this. One of the things I like most about this board is how people are able to discuss their differences. I have a lot of respect for a lot of posters because of how they are able to get me to think about something in a new manner.

My take on this is that the punishment must fit the task. It could be that
with a task where you're a set up to fail, the failure itself is the punishment. I'm sure there are instances where that may not quite fit the task though. Something that is more of a lighthearted play versus a serious you messed up and majorly disappointed me would have different types of punishment. The mindset would be different.

I do believe that failure is an important part of life. We learn how to succeed in spite of failure. There were some tests that I was not allowed to take when I was a teenager because I might fail them. I needed to see what it was like to fail rather than develop an overinflated sense of my capabilities. Granted I was already aware that that would happen but I saw it happen to a lot of people I knew. They weren't prepared to move into other areas of life and floundered a lot because they had no idea how to deal with it.

Yes, exactly, especially the bolded parts.

I can be very perfectionist, a little OCD, and VERY hard on myself when I think I've failed. I can EASILY see either one of my Ds, who are both extremely intelligent, insightful, loving men, decide that I need to be taught NOT to take failure so seriously...that they'll still love me if I fail...that punishment is to be taken and moved on from...that they care more about the EFFORT than the RESULT. I think a lighthearted, humorous, impossible task might be great if the PYL is trying to take the edge off for a pyl who is tying herself up in knots about pleasing him.

So, yes. It's all context-dependent, as everything is. The more I think about it, though, the more I can see it being kind of fun, in that right context. The humiliation aspect appeals to me.

 

[Essene]

I feel some kind of explanation is in order.

I’m leery about digging to deeply into this. So let me just say that BDSM and everything about it – *for me* - is about fun, about play. It is where I go to enjoy myself and I just can’t take anything there too seriously outside of the moment. Now, in the rest of my life, (yes, I compartmentalize my BDSM), if I were to fail my hubby in some significant way, I’d feel terrible, as I would feel bad for failing anyone I loved in any important way.

And I think that my wiring is different enough from what I’m reading from everyone else that the idea of a PYL “making an excuse” to deliver punishment just doesn’t register for me. That's not what it's about, for me.

Upon further consideration, I think this dynamic really requires a specific type/combination of personalities in order to work.

I’ve got this friend who you can get to do just about anything by saying, “I bet you a dollar you can’t________.” He doesn’t give a shit about the dollar, he’s just wired up to respond to a challenge like that. I’m similar in that if my PYL says, “If you don’t pick up these one hundred marbles, using only your mouth, and deposit them in this jar in under sixty second, I’m going to whip you with a strand of licorice,” I’ll attempt the task with as much gusto and conviction as if he’d threatened to chop off a finger. Don’t know why, just how I am.

I see both sides of this, and the way that I can try to relate is through how I feel when I bottom vs how I feel when I'm submissive to someone.

In life, I'm a very confident person. My personality rarely wavers when I bottom. When bottoming it's about being in the moment, it's (usually) fun, and I'd happily take on the challenge you just mentioned.

When I'm submissive to someone though, I feel a bit more insecure, more emotionally vested, and so if I even failed at something small like being five minutes late meeting my PYL due to traffic (something I can't control); I'd beat myself up about it.

 

[neci]

I feel some kind of explanation is in order.

I’m leery about digging to deeply into this. So let me just say that BDSM and everything about it – *for me* - is about fun, about play. It is where I go to enjoy myself and I just can’t take anything there too seriously outside of the moment. Now, in the rest of my life, (yes, I compartmentalize my BDSM), if I were to fail my hubby in some significant way, I’d feel terrible, as I would feel bad for failing anyone I loved in any important way.

And I think that my wiring is different enough from what I’m reading from everyone else that the idea of a PYL “making an excuse” to deliver punishment just doesn’t register for me. That's not what it's about, for me.

Upon further consideration, I think this dynamic really requires a specific type/combination of personalities in order to work.

I’ve got this friend who you can get to do just about anything by saying, “I bet you a dollar you can’t________.” He doesn’t give a shit about the dollar, he’s just wired up to respond to a challenge like that. I’m similar in that if my PYL says, “If you don’t pick up these one hundred marbles, using only your mouth, and deposit them in this jar in under sixty second, I’m going to whip you with a strand of licorice,” I’ll attempt the task with as much gusto and conviction as if he’d threatened to chop off a finger. Don’t know why, just how I am.

that's my kind of task!

i can relate to you on the BDSM level of fun and exploration. while i love lots of things about the lifestyle i am not one who relishes the thought of being controlled and punished just for the sake of being controlled and punished. if that's someone's cup of tea, they can keep on walking - it's not happening here.

i don't get lots of tasks to complete. on occasion i will get one, but i view it more as something fun, to be explored and played with. sometimes the nearly impossible tasks can turn into some great fun when i'm trying to see if i can trade favors for a hint to the solve the task. i'm all about seeing if i can milk out a solution to a problem.

as for failure, eh. who likes failure? really? i do my best to put my hardest work into something. if it turns up short, i want to know why. i need to be able to sit back and analyze what i could have done differently. failure challenges me. it makes me take a good hard look at myself and my actions. failure pushes me to new levels. i'm not going to give up on my dreams, just because i hit road blocks. there is a part of me that is so terrified of failure she would rather shut down and do nothing than risk something and fail. i don't like that part of me, so i try to tell her to shut up and join the program.

“Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.”
-Chinese Proverb

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

i'm all about seeing if i can milk out a solution to a problem.

I'm really not even going to comment here.