Subspace and the emotional state

[Lizzie_Borden]

Ok team.

While I'm not particularly looking for a rehashing of 'what is subspace?" and the associated questions, I'm curious as to the emotional triggers that can get you there.

I've gone there twice in two days now, and today, pretty solidly. The curious thing I'm finding is that there was no pain involved, just straight power exchange sex.

Now, we do that a lot, and while I enjoy it thoroughly (as one does) the sex alone has never sent me into such a state.

So it got me thinking and wondering what it was that sent me there. If there was something more. I know the last few days I've been high strung and rather flighty. Work has got me wound up, and some other stuff has got my emotions fairly whacked out.

Is that it? Did my brain just say 'fuck you world, I'm heading off to la-la land for a while'?

Has anyone else experienced that? A link between their current general emotional state and how easily they drop into subspace? Dropping without the usual play? How does all that work for you? Do you let it happen, or do you get your shit sorted before you play?

 

[neci]

depending on my emotional state, i will fight subspace. there are times when the loss of control seems to blanket me and comfort me, and there are times it scares me and throws me for a loop. i can't always put my finger on why. the same action can get a different response out of me depending on where my head is at. i wish i had more control over it. sometimes. my bottom line is that i am an emotional introverted person, and when i am pushed, i feel an overwhelming array of emotions. some are high highs and some are low lows. it's hard for me to just sit up and analyze why. i feel it inside, but trying to put it into words is hard. those are the times i just want to place my head in His lap and wait for the calm to return.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I haven't quite figured subspace out. I know I don't get there from pain. Getting me into subspace is not his goal.

What I crave is that submissive mind set. That I get much quickly from the emotional triggers brought on by his emotions around what he does to me. Submissive mind set to me is not a la-la land of disconnect but that feeling of being owned property, that total surrender without hesitation, naked vulnerability.

Beating me, using me, fucking me painfully hard, forcing me to his will in all things drops the gentlemanly nice guy part of him and brings out the EvilOgre side. The emotions and vibe he gives off then is what gets me into the mental space I love.

 

[00Syd]

I get into subspace most easily if I feel vulnerable. Pet play will do it. Rape play. I've never gotten there from pain.

I also get there in rope suspensions. Suspensions can be really stressful on the body, but if it's a fairly comfortable suspension that I can just melt into, my brain will basically turn to mush and sometimes I go non-verbal. Getting spacey in Seb's rope makes me feel incredibly close to him, and sometimes that feeling of closeness and the feeling that I'm so completely in his hands, coupled with the stress my body is in, makes me cry. It's very nice.

Subspace for me isn't a goal, but if I happen to slip into it... I'm not going to fight it.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

depending on my emotional state, i will fight subspace. there are times when the loss of control seems to blanket me and comfort me, and there are times it scares me and throws me for a loop. i can't always put my finger on why. the same action can get a different response out of me depending on where my head is at. i wish i had more control over it. sometimes. my bottom line is that i am an emotional introverted person, and when i am pushed, i feel an overwhelming array of emotions. some are high highs and some are low lows. it's hard for me to just sit up and analyze why. i feel it inside, but trying to put it into words is hard. those are the times i just want to place my head in His lap and wait for the calm to return.

It doesn't happen often, so it tends to sneak up on me. I can't fight it cos all of a sudden, I'm there. I can get how it can be disconcerting though. It sometimes bothers me, because it renders me fairly useless for a while, and that particular feeling, I don't like.

Cuddles and pettings are in definite order though, during those times.

I haven't quite figured subspace out. I know I don't get there from pain. Getting me into subspace is not his goal.

What I crave is that submissive mind set. That I get much quickly from the emotional triggers brought on by his emotions around what he does to me. Submissive mind set to me is not a la-la land of disconnect but that feeling of being owned property, that total surrender without hesitation, naked vulnerability.

Beating me, using me, fucking me painfully hard, forcing me to his will in all things drops the gentlemanly nice guy part of him and brings out the EvilOgre side. The emotions and vibe he gives off then is what gets me into the mental space I love.

It's not our goal either. Seems to happen more by accident than design, and usually pain is involved, hence, for myself, I've drawn that parallel.

That mindset manifests itself in different ways for me. There's the nice, quiet times, when I'm just looking after him, and my focus is so intent, that I know that I *am* his, and that this is what I'm for. And then other times, sometimes when we play, when we fuck, it's wild and absolute. Most of the time, that's enough. But recently, it's kept me in the moment, until it's over, then bang, disconnect. And time just stops.

I get into subspace most easily if I feel vulnerable. Pet play will do it. Rape play. I've never gotten there from pain.

I also get there in rope suspensions. Suspensions can be really stressful on the body, but if it's a fairly comfortable suspension that I can just melt into, my brain will basically turn to mush and sometimes I go non-verbal. Getting spacey in Seb's rope makes me feel incredibly close to him, and sometimes that feeling of closeness and the feeling that I'm so completely in his hands, coupled with the stress my body is in, makes me cry. It's very nice.

Subspace for me isn't a goal, but if I happen to slip into it... I'm not going to fight it.

It's leaving me feeling very vulnerable, and very open to him. It's like I've taken another step deeper. And yes, it's a very nice feeling.

 

[intothewoods]

If someone flogs/spanks/whatevers me in the right way, I will definitely get that endorphin rush. Needles too - although that was a heck of a lot more intense. I've had enough s&m play sessions with friends to be able to look at the chemical reaction in the abstract. It's not a lovey dovey outpouring of affection. It just feels nice. In an intense session with Mister Man, where sex is involved, there is a lot going on at once -- pain, sex, love -- so it's difficult to say what action or feeling sparks what reaction.

 

[celticsunspiral]

One of my major kinks is bondage, I have found that in circumstances where bondage is used I "let go." That doesn't mean I float off to subspace but it definitely puts me the frame of mind to go there.

I have only played on the heavier side four times, and of those, I drifted off twice. In fact the first time I played hard I was flying for over 24 hours, I think it was a combination of feelings that made the experience so awesome, a good experienced partner, and the realization of a dream. I had been dreaming and reading of playing for so long that I wondered about myself. "Could I really do this? How will I truly react?"

The two times I didn't "float away" one was because of personal things going on at the same time and probably a little trust issue, so I probably shouldn't have played, and the other time was situational.

I definitely think that my emotional state played a role in whether I was able to fully let go. Anyway that is just in my limited experience so far.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

In an intense session with Mister Man, where sex is involved, there is a lot going on at once -- pain, sex, love -- so it's difficult to say what action or feeling sparks what reaction.

Oh gosh, absolutely. I don't even try to work out which is doing what. I like to think it's all a mishmash of everything that affects everything else.

And it's fucking awesome.

The other day just took me by surprise, because it was entirely non standard and snuck up on me, so it left me wondering if there was some emotional priming that just heightened my susceptibility, for lack of a better word.