The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[andy_charles]

and, it only leads us to the buried treasure.

I put in a plastic shovel.

And you get a ton of sand to make the greatest sandcastle ever.

I put in a flag...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a ton of sand to make the greatest sandcastle ever.

I put in a flag...

and the girls try desperately to defend it against the onslaught of the boys.

I put in a couple of bottles of Tequila...

 

[andy_charles]

and the girls try desperately to defend it against the onslaught of the boys.

I put in a couple of bottles of Tequila...

And you get some lime rinds.

I put on a carton of Orange Juice...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get some lime rinds.

I put on a carton of Orange Juice...

and it says "made from concentrate" but not what was concentrated.

I put in a bowl of fresh papaya, mango, pineapple, and passion fruit...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it says "made from concentrate" but not what was concentrated.

I put in a bowl of fresh papaya, mango, pineapple, and passion fruit...

and your daily intake of fruit vitamins is very adequate.

I put in a hot bag of chips (English chips, that is)

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and your daily intake of fruit vitamins is very adequate.

I put in a hot bag of chips (English chips, that is)

and the grease drips through the bag and onto your lap.

I put in home dry cleaning equipment...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the grease drips through the bag and onto your lap.

I put in home dry cleaning equipment...

and forget to doff trousers first.
[should be out of hospital soon though]


I put in a BandAid

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and forget to doff trousers first.
[should be out of hospital soon though]


I put in a BandAid

and it barely covers the wound.

I put in a nurse with "healing hands" training...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it barely covers the wound.

I put in a nurse with "healing hands" training...

and there's a long queue for treatment. . . .


I put in a standard lamp

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and there's a long queue for treatment. . . .


I put in a standard lamp

But, it comes with a three-way light bulb and there's two woman knocking at your door.

I put in a fancy night light.

 

[sacrificedangel]

But, it comes with a three-way light bulb and there's two woman knocking at your door.

I put in a fancy night light.

And the monsters leave me alone at night finally.

I put in a life-sized jigsaw of Texas

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And the monsters leave me alone at night finally.

I put in a life-sized jigsaw of Texas

and, the puzzle contest takes an entire year to complete.

I put in a red pinochle deck.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, the puzzle contest takes an entire year to complete.

I put in a red pinochle deck.

and the ghost of Joe McCarthy holds up a list of other card games that have been infiltrated by the communists.

I put in a year's membership in the ACLU...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the ghost of Joe McCarthy holds up a list of other card games that have been infiltrated by the communists.

I put in a year's membership in the ACLU...

And, a picket line stretches from border to border asking for more jobs and higher wages.

I put in a Social Security Card.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, a picket line stretches from border to border asking for more jobs and higher wages.

I put in a Social Security Card.

and still feel insecure.

I put in a security blanket...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and still feel insecure.

I put in a security blanket...

and, oh it feels so cozy.

I put in a tea cozy.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, oh it feels so cozy.

I put in a tea cozy.

and you have a cozy cup of tea for two.

I put in a cozy loveseat...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you have a cozy cup of tea for two.

I put in a cozy loveseat...

and, I love being in the seat with you.

I put in a Florida love bug.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I love being in the seat with you.

I put in a Florida love bug.

and the beach will never recover.

I put in a night under the stars...

Tomorrow, SINS

 

[Handley_Page]

and the beach will never recover.

I put in a night under the stars...

and you get the best Thunderstorm of the year, right over your head.

I put in a small umbrella

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get the best Thunderstorm of the year, right over your head.

I put in a small umbrella

and a lovely young girl squeezes in close to you to keep out of the rain.

I put in a parlour with a warm fire burning in the hearth...

 

[Handley_Page]

and a lovely young girl squeezes in close to you to keep out of the rain.

I put in a parlour with a warm fire burning in the hearth...

and the Fire Brigade come and put the fire out on "Safety Grounds".


I put in a very large file for the foot of the Elephant.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the Fire Brigade come and put the fire out on "Safety Grounds".


I put in a very large file for the foot of the Elephant.

and you get a very, very large filing cabinet for your office.

I put in the eye of a newt...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a very, very large filing cabinet for your office.

I put in the eye of a newt...

And, the witch buys her final ingredient for the Love Potion Number Nine

I put in a pair of kelly green panties.

 

[Handley_Page]

And, the witch buys her final ingredient for the Love Potion Number Nine

I put in a pair of kelly green panties.

and they nearly match the green shoes.


I put in a pair of red glasses