The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

and the images are blurred with the speed.

I put in a high-speed sensor...

and you capture the moment a bomb goes off.

I put in a Huffington gear (for a Spitfire).

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you capture the moment a bomb goes off.

I put in a Huffington gear (for a Spitfire).

and it sputters out in a dogfight with a dragon.

I put in a 1932 Chrysler V-24 marine engine...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it sputters out in a dogfight with a dragon.

I put in a 1932 Chrysler V-24 marine engine...

Makes a nice burbling sound at idle; then blows a gasket at full bore.

I put in an aircraft radio aerial

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Makes a nice burbling sound at idle; then blows a gasket at full bore.

I put in an aircraft radio aerial

and it only brings in AM stations.

I put in an intergalactic SETI radio signal...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it only brings in AM stations.

I put in an intergalactic SETI radio signal...

and the Aracibo deep-space radio telescope lights up.

I put in a bit from a "flying saucer".

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the Aracibo deep-space radio telescope lights up.

I put in a bit from a "flying saucer".

and NASA suspects it's a rather naughty bit.

I put in an interstellar orgasmatron...

 

[Handley_Page]

and NASA suspects it's a rather naughty bit.

I put in an interstellar orgasmatron...

and we all get to see Jane Fonda breaking it (whoopee !)

I put in a new battery for the torch

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and we all get to see Jane Fonda breaking it (whoopee !)

I put in a new battery for the torch

and it still doesn't work.

I put in a new flashlight for the battery...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it still doesn't work.

I put in a new flashlight for the battery...

and a passing Vulcan spaceship sees the sign.


I put in a Vulcan-English dictionary.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and a passing Vulcan spaceship sees the sign.


I put in a Vulcan-English dictionary.

and it's completely logical.

I put in the statement "This sentence is false"...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it's completely logical.

I put in the statement "This sentence is false"...

and, I send you a 1,500 word PM to explain why it isn't.

I put in a toy boat.

 

[sacrificedangel]

and, I send you a 1,500 word PM to explain why it isn't.

I put in a toy boat.

And I enter it in the annual toy boat race in the ducks pond round back

I put in the winning trophy

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And I enter it in the annual toy boat race in the ducks pond round back

I put in the winning trophy

and, a loud TADA comes from the speaker on the vending machine.

I put in your favorite CD.

 

[sacrificedangel]

and, a loud TADA comes from the speaker on the vending machine.

I put in your favorite CD.

And I dance around to it whilst doing the vacuuming.

I put in a lucky dip ticket for the UK lotto tonight

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And I dance around to it whilst doing the vacuuming.

I put in a lucky dip ticket for the UK lotto tonight

And, you win enough to pay the salary of a down-stairs maid to do your vacuuming for you.

I put in a paper straw.

 

[sacrificedangel]

And, you win enough to pay the salary of a down-stairs maid to do your vacuuming for you.

I put in a paper straw.

and I delight in challenging some drunken men on a stag do to drink an entire bottle of Jose Cuervo through it. Would be entertaining to watch anyway.

I put in a full three course meal, the best choice of wine, and sumptuous coffee and chocolates for afterwards.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I delight in challenging some drunken men on a stag do to drink an entire bottle of Jose Cuervo through it. Would be entertaining to watch anyway.

I put in a full three course meal, the best choice of wine, and sumptuous coffee and chocolates for afterwards.

and you get a very satisfied group of companions.

I put in the key to the honeymoon suite upstairs from the restaurant...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a very satisfied group of companions.

I put in the key to the honeymoon suite upstairs from the restaurant...

and, the chardon sits at the bedside.

I put in a Waterford flute.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, the chardon sits at the bedside.

I put in a Waterford flute.

and its filled with the golden notes of a Moetet.

I put in a night with a fair cailleen in Portlairge...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and its filled with the golden notes of a Moetet.

I put in a night with a fair cailleen in Portlairge...

And, in the morning it's a walk in the glenn.

I put in a claddagh ring.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, in the morning it's a walk in the glenn.

I put in a claddagh ring.

and it makes for a very good sex toy.

I put in a Mantle so Green...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it makes for a very good sex toy.

I put in a Mantle so Green...

And, the bird takes flight to Dublin.

I put in a four-leaf clover just for you.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, the bird takes flight to Dublin.

I put in a four-leaf clover just for you.

and I find my way off the freeway.

I put in the Notel Motel at Exit 69...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and I find my way off the freeway.

I put in the Notel Motel at Exit 69...

That was a good one, Tio. Very clever.
and, I plug that address into my GPS for safe keeping.

I put in a naughty nightie.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

That was a good one, Tio. Very clever.
and, I plug that address into my GPS for safe keeping.

I put in a naughty nightie.

and it bespeaks a very naughty night.

I put in my unneeded pyjamas...