Face Your Fear

[JMohegan]

Moving the hijack to a new thread......

I rambled on so much that I forgot to mention my av.

I forget which movie it's from.

I have a fear or concern about being trapped. It's not claustrophobia, because I don't mind small spaces in general, just the thought of being trapped... and buried.

One day, I was reading up on it - in a 'try to face your fear' sort of way, and that is when I thought the av would be one way and one step to dealing with that fear.

http://hodgeblodge.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/buried-1.jpg



http://www.tarantino.info/wiki/images/thumb/KB2_Coffin.jpg/260px-KB2_Coffin.jpg

Thanks for answering, but - Jesus. I mean really, FUCK.

Is the 'face your fear' thing working?

Well, there's more to it than that. Peoples' fears intrigue me. My fears intrigue me. What they're afraid of. Why they're afraid.

I'm drawn by the psychology of it and I enjoy trying to work through things that concern me. It seems like it would be irrational to NOT deal with it or try to face it some way... some how. Ya know?

I don't want to hijack the thread. If you're really curious, PM me or start a thread and I'll tell you all about it.

hijack - There was a PBS special recently - The Emotional Life ... I think that's what it was called. One bit on overcoming phobias showed a woman undergoing therapy for a severe fear of flying. The treatment? You guessed it - she went on a plane repeatedly. And talked through it with her therapist, of course, but still, they threw her on a plane. Now, you won't see me playing with spiders anytime soon, but I gather the treatment would involve some such horrible thing. Luckily a fear of spiders doesn't interfere with your life as much as a fear of flying does.

Hijack continued...

Fear of spiders is the most common fear/phobia. Second is socialphobia - specifically, public speaking. I always thought that was an interesting fact/statistic.

 

[JMohegan]

Haze - yes, I'd like to hear about it.



ITW - That post was ridiculously arousing.

 

[BiBunny]

Just have a minor quibble I put in the other thread before this one went up: Fear of public speaking and social phobia aren't the same thing. Sorry, don't mean to be picky, but that's kind of big deal to me.

 

[CutieMouse]

ITW - That post was ridiculously arousing.

*thinking about a conversation in which it was pointed out how easy it is to use a fear to turn me into a squishy little puddle of goo*

 

[chy_girl]

*thinking about a conversation in which it was pointed out how easy it is to use a fear to turn me into a squishy little puddle of goo*

I wonder if the adrenaline from the fight or flight response also triggers the arousal response in some people.

Totally agree about the puddle of goo thing, too.

 

[JMohegan]

*thinking about a conversation in which it was pointed out how easy it is to use a fear to turn me into a squishy little puddle of goo*

I want to be ITW's therapist.

However, just thinking about comparable "therapy" for my own claustrophobia makes me want to kill somebody with my bare hands.

 

[intothewoods]

Haze - yes, I'd like to hear about it.



ITW - That post was ridiculously arousing.

You might like the PBS special then.

Just have a minor quibble I put in the other thread before this one went up: Fear of public speaking and social phobia aren't the same thing. Sorry, don't mean to be picky, but that's kind of big deal to me.

Oh, yes, of course. Good point.

 

[intothewoods]

I want to be ITW's therapist.

However, just thinking about comparable "therapy" for my own claustrophobia makes me want to kill somebody with my bare hands.

There isn't a part of you that thinks it would be empowering to conquer your fear?

 

[JMohegan]

There isn't a part of you that thinks it would be empowering to conquer your fear?

Honestly, no. I never thought about it that way.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I have 2 major fears.

One is similiar to Haze's--a fear of not being able to escape. I hate elevators, the one tie I had to spend 45 minutes on the tarmac on a flight I thought was going to go totally berserk, I will never go on a cruise because it is too much time away from land. The thought of being restrained or bondage of any type was never a hard limit but a soft one.

My other fear which is much worse is the fear of not being able to breath. Part of this is because I have asthma.

My PYL likes using restraints so we have been wroking on this to the point I now can enjoy it..as long as I am never left alone.

About a year ago (or so) we started talking about saran wrap mummification. The thought both terrified me but did excite me. So I asked him if we could try it. He wrapped me neck to ankle very tightly. He had decided not to wrap my head because he didn't want me totally freaking. But I very quietly asked him to.

There is something about facing your fear with someone you totally trust. I knew he would wrap my face but as quickly as possible cut a hole for me to breath. I remained wrapped for another hour or so. The impact play while being wrapped helped to distract me and keep me focused.

I didn't become interested in BDSM to confront my fears. Not has my PYL purposely set up activities to force me to face them he just does what he wants to do.

 

[callinectes2]

I tend to operate on the Scarlett O'Hara principle..I'll think about it another day. I don't have much in the fears really and what little I have are easy to ignore since they don't impact my life. I doubt I will ever face them.

 

[LilyBart]

Peeking in to say hello...this topic intrigued me. But can someone point me, first, to the original (hijacked) thread?

~LB

 

[Hoardingenergy]

I fear failure and rejection.

 

[JMohegan]

Peeking in to say hello...this topic intrigued me. But can someone point me, first, to the original (hijacked) thread?

~LB

An LB sighting! Welcome back, woman. Nice to see you again.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=689894

 

[LilyBart]

An LB sighting! Welcome back, woman. Nice to see you again.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=689894

Thank you JM...its been a while, I know.

Off to catch up on context now. Thanks for the link.

~LB

 

[~Haze~]

*thinking about a conversation in which it was pointed out how easy it is to use a fear to turn me into a squishy little puddle of goo*

I'd by lying if I said this wasn't one of the reasons I am so intrigued. I don't think anyone is going to disagree that someone who gets in your head is going to trigger the most intense orgasms. It's more than the sex. It's deeper than that. I really do enjoy getting to know someone and understanding the how they think, what they think, what makes them feel safe, secure, loved, deserted, resented, whatever.

I think you can get to know a lot about someone by understanding their fears. What they're afraid of, why they're afraid, what triggers the emotional response and reactions.

When you're getting to know someone, a quick talker can feed you any line they want. Get them thinking about what they fear most, and their responses are going to be a lot more genuine and sincere. What better way to get to know someone?

 

[~Haze~]

*thinking about a conversation in which it was pointed out how easy it is to use a fear to turn me into a squishy little puddle of goo*

No one would be surprised to learn that woman are attracted to a man who can make her safe. If you can understand someone's fears, you can understand what makes them feel safe. Safe = all kinds of warm and tingly. And, as a man, it's gratifying (and hugely arousing) to make a woman feel safe in my arms.

 

[~Haze~]

Just have a minor quibble I put in the other thread before this one went up: Fear of public speaking and social phobia aren't the same thing. Sorry, don't mean to be picky, but that's kind of big deal to me.

From what I've gathered, and I'm no expert and don't have a link right now, public speaking disorder is a social phobia and the single largest social phobia, IIRC.

 

[Keroin]

I've faced most of my fears but needles and claustrophobia...*shudders*...no thanks. I'll live with them.

 

[BiBunny]

From what I've gathered, and I'm no expert and don't have a link right now, public speaking disorder is a social phobia and the single largest social phobia, IIRC.

Fear of public speaking is a specialized phobia, not a disorder in and of itself. Social phobia is a specific set of symptoms that usually includes fear of public speaking.

 

[JMohegan]

What they're afraid of, why they're afraid, what triggers the emotional response and reactions.

Is there always an identifiable "why?"

In my case, I really don't think so. I was just born claustrophobic. Like being born with a literal brain, tall genes, great hand/eye coordination, and an appalling lack of artistic skill. It is what it is, and my skepticism about the "face your fear" thing stems from the fact that I don't believe it can be erased or reversed.

 

[~Haze~]

Fear of public speaking is a specialized phobia, not a disorder in and of itself. Social phobia is a specific set of symptoms that usually includes fear of public speaking.

I think it would be the other way around... if anything. Fear of public speaking would include symptoms that are common in other forms of social phobias.? I ask because I know people who don't show any form of SAD but could never get up in front of a crowd.

I'm asking, not to instigate (well, a little instigation never hurt anyone), but because I am genuinely curious. Especially because I find myself being asked to speak to large groups with some frequency now.



This wasn't my original source. I read what I posted a few months ago and I'm pretty confident that I remember it correctly. I just googled it and found this....

Social phobia is also known as social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety is fear. Fear has a multi-dimensional character: thoughts (cognition), emotions, and physiological response. When the fear (anxiety) gets to the point that a situation is avoided, a phobia is present. Common social phobias include (to name just a few):

* fear of public speaking
* fear of groups
* fear of conversation (selective mutism)
* fear of intimacy
* fear of relationships
* fear of socializing
* fear of school
* fear of sports
* fear of performing.

and this

Performance anxiety within a public speaking context is based on worries about being noticeably nervous and losing control due to panic. Physical symptoms such as increased pulse, blushing, breaking out into a sweat, nausea, and eye contact difficulty are common. A myriad of deeper negative thoughts run rampant such as, “people will see who I really am”; “I will humiliate myself”; or “people will not get to see my true ability”. These are characterized by varying degrees of obsessive thinking. When public speaking anxiety and panic turn into avoidance, a social phobia is present. The more avoidance takes place, the more there is the risk of an avoidant personality disorder developing.

 

[~Haze~]

Is there always an identifiable "why?"

In my case, I really don't think so. I was just born claustrophobic. Like being born with a literal brain, tall genes, great hand/eye coordination, and an appalling lack of artistic skill. It is what it is, and my skepticism about the "face your fear" thing stems from the fact that I don't believe it can be erased or reversed.

I'm not a psychologist and I I don't every fear has to have a literal, rational cause. In fact, I'm sure of it. Nothing triggered my fear. At least I think.

But I do think I can overcome my fears - whatever they might be. I think that most people can get over their fears with the right... guidance.

I don't think you were born claustrophobic. Most children I know feel more comfortable in a closed, confined space. I am guessing that at some point... as a baby(?), you might have felt comforted in small, tight, spaces. Especially in their mother's loving arms?

 

[intothewoods]

Is there always an identifiable "why?"

In my case, I really don't think so. I was just born claustrophobic. Like being born with a literal brain, tall genes, great hand/eye coordination, and an appalling lack of artistic skill. It is what it is, and my skepticism about the "face your fear" thing stems from the fact that I don't believe it can be erased or reversed.

Not at all.

I think it's more retraining your brain rather than erasing a fear. Your brain is thinking, oh God I cannot be stuck in a small place, something terrible will happen! So by sticking yourself in a tight space over and over again, your brain learns there is nothing particularly to fear about being stuck in a tight space.

 

[Netzach]

The whole "throw her on a plane, throw him in a heating duct" thing is overrated.

I *was* able to get on a plane without anything happening from the following dialogue with a shrink, repeated a few times.

"What's the worst that happens?"

"Crashing in a fireball from 30,000 feet."

"And what can you do to prevent that?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"And the likelihood?"

"infinitely small."

Just reviewing it aloud with the therapist is vital before you go challenging it in a small tight space. Hypnosis, self hypnosis for someone like me, is also really helpful. You can actually create new pathways, new neural patterns, through repetition.

The question is, how desperate are you to overcome the whole thing?

I may want to go overseas at some point. M, on the other hand, has me to deal with spiders, just like I have him to deal with any cat-caught mice should they arise again.