Consensual Non-Consent

[ataxia.girl]

i'm curious.

For those pyls for whom obedience, maturity, and civil dialog within relationships with PYL's are any of you into non-con stuf? If so how to do achieve it without rebellion?

If your PYL was into it would you attempt to please them by attempting to become non-consensual?

 

[ownedsubgal]

well first i have to say we are not into the "consensual non-consent" thing. actually that phrase really confuses me, the idea of pretending something is non-consensual when everyone knows that it is. pretending in general just gives me a really bad feeling inside...

BUT we are into straight up non-consent..or more clearly, him subjecting me to things or having me do things i absolutely do not want. "consent" is about the most irrelevant word in the english language as far as we're concerned, and within our relationship specifically an Owner does not require a slave's "consent." the way our relationship functions overall, it is just understood in the daily course of things that it simply does not matter what i want or don't want, what i'm in the mood for or not, etc. that just does not come up in conversation, lol.

but there are also those times when he intentionally sets circumstances up in such a way that will cause me to suffer, because my suffering is what pleases him at the time. i don't need to be rebellious or defiant for any of that to happen, he simply goes to those places i hate and fear most. and, like everything else, i am expected to just take it, to be unquestioning, non-resistant and obedient. obedience does not imply desire, and one can be unfailingly obedient while still screaming on the inside. His sadistic side enjoys the tears though.

 

[Netzach]

Suffering noises are great, begging is fine and sometimes it might even sway me, but no, I would not "go non-con" because it doesn't make sense to me. Dude, I didn't kidnap you off the street and there are 18 other dudes who'll take your spot in a minute, so go ahead, tell me to fuck myself. See how that works.

I don't have female property, though - I will say I'd probably put up with more and treat the issue differently, the dynamics are different.

 

[BiBunny]

I dunno if I'm obedient, mature, and civilized, but, yes, we do non-con stuff.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Suffering noises are great, begging is fine and sometimes it might even sway me, but no, I would not "go non-con" because it doesn't make sense to me. Dude, I didn't kidnap you off the street and there are 18 other dudes who'll take your spot in a minute, so go ahead, tell me to fuck myself. See how that works.

I don't have female property, though - I will say I'd probably put up with more and treat the issue differently, the dynamics are different.

Yeah we are really into the whole captivity thing. It's so raw and very freeing. i freaking love that i can say whatever the fuck i want in whatever way i want and i'm still going to get fucked doggy style.

i quite literally do pull out all the stops but we both take a leap of faith you know. He has to trust his gut that this is what i really need and my need will keep me coming back for more. i take a leap of faith that he really does have the balls to follow through.

Last time we were together i put on a show while taking a shower where i basically demonstrated to him how to give a proper spanking since he seems to have so much trouble with it. There's nothing like a wet little girl sticking her ass out looking into a mirror and explaining to you exactly how to give a proper spanking because you are too much of a clod to know what to do.

So fucking awesome.

What happened next, i mean after Daddy stopped laughing hysterically and desperately trying to record my tirade with his ipod, was what happens every night. i got my brains fucked out. The next morning i got to listen to a clip of myself over and over and over while i got ready for work.

my Daddy is the shit.

 

[ataxia.girl]

"consent" is about the most irrelevant word in the english language

Pretty much.

We aren't pretending but within the framework of my life and the fact that i keep going down there and coming back for more i can't exactly call it non-consensual.

Whether or not i want to do something also seems pretty ridiculous at this point. On some level i do not even want a penis to get out of its pants. It's existence at all bothers me and i think they are weird and gross. On some other level all i want is to be impaled by one.

When you don't know what you want, what you want, becomes irrelevant in a relationship. i know Daddy knows what i need because when i get it from him i can no longer go without it regardless of whether i knew i needed it before or not.

We also like Stockholm syndrome as a fetish. i fought Daddy for a long long time. i wanted certain things from him that were simply not going to happen. It took many months for me to just accept it.

We can't really do what we would like to try because he doesn't have enough time\access to me but it is very fun to think about and approximate as much as we can, which i concede isn't much.

 

[ataxia.girl]

but there are also those times when he intentionally sets circumstances up in such a way that will cause me to suffer, because my suffering is what pleases him at the time. i don't need to be rebellious or defiant for any of that to happen, he simply goes to those places i hate and fear most. and, like everything else, i am expected to just take it, to be unquestioning, non-resistant and obedient. obedience does not imply desire, and one can be unfailingly obedient while still screaming on the inside. His sadistic side enjoys the tears though.

You know i think the reason in our relationship i remain rebellious and defiant is simply because it is part time. If Daddy had me all the time i would eventually just surrender to it and stop fighting. As it is i can get to that place temporarily but then i have to go back to my family and my job and my big girl life and i forget that with Daddy i don't really have any power and so we have to go through the process all over again ad nauseam.

i am lucky the process amuses him so much or i would be a very lonely girl.

i may be expected to be unquestioning, non-resistant, and obedient but uhhh yeah... i forgot what that feels like and i'm not really in that place anymore. my emotional memory is short and in the scheme of things my Daddy is extremely gentle with me not because he would lose me otherwise but just because he is.

He's kind of like King Kong

 

[Homburg]

I don't "get" consensual non-consent. It evades me, and I wonder what is missing from my oh-so-domly personality when all the cool kids have rape fantasies. It's just not my thing.

 

[ZRT]

I don't "get" consensual non-consent. It evades me, and I wonder what is missing from my oh-so-domly personality when all the cool kids have rape fantasies. It's just not my thing.

Yeah. I come down on Netz' side of it too. Don't want to be here? Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Mind, I do have the rape fantasies, but it's clearly play when done.

 

[Netzach]

I think there are just those of us who get hard/wet whatever when they hear "please please please" versus "no no no no"

Kind of like "do you like Thai food?" It must be some reptile brain thing.

 

[Homburg]

I think there are just those of us who get hard/wet whatever when they hear "please please please" versus "no no no no"

Kind of like "do you like Thai food?" It must be some reptile brain thing.

This. Very much so.

"No" is generally a "Stop" for me. As in I will stop what I am doing and walk away. We're done, and the activity will not restart.


And, fuck, I love me some thai food. There's this little place a coupla miles away that...

 

[ownedsubgal]

I don't "get" consensual non-consent. It evades me, and I wonder what is missing from my oh-so-domly personality when all the cool kids have rape fantasies. It's just not my thing.

i definitely get rape fantasies...at least, REAL rape fantasies. i don't get the appeal of play-acting rape or "consensual non-consent." of course, the overwhelming majority of those who claim to have rape fantasies, truly have consensual non-consent fantasies...weird. i suppose i'm the only one who fantasizes about the actual suffering, debasement and outright terror that only real rape can cause. *shrug*

 

[ownedsubgal]

Pretty much.

We aren't pretending but within the framework of my life and the fact that i keep going down there and coming back for more i can't exactly call it non-consensual.

Whether or not i want to do something also seems pretty ridiculous at this point. On some level i do not even want a penis to get out of its pants. It's existence at all bothers me and i think they are weird and gross. On some other level all i want is to be impaled by one.

When you don't know what you want, what you want, becomes irrelevant in a relationship. i know Daddy knows what i need because when i get it from him i can no longer go without it regardless of whether i knew i needed it before or not.

We also like Stockholm syndrome as a fetish. i fought Daddy for a long long time. i wanted certain things from him that were simply not going to happen. It took many months for me to just accept it.

We can't really do what we would like to try because he doesn't have enough time\access to me but it is very fun to think about and approximate as much as we can, which i concede isn't much.

i wonder ataxia, would you even LIKE a full-time relationship with your Daddy? it's interesting to me pondering how that would play out...


on a side note...you find penises weird and gross?!?! i think the male genitalia, all of it, is the most beautiful, fascinating, glorious thing. all we have to offer is a mysterious moist-ish hole. but they have POWER between their legs. power is and forever will be, uberhot.

 

[BiBunny]

I've never thought of consensual nonconsent in terms of rape play and such. I think of rape play as rape play, LOL.

 

[ataxia.girl]

i wonder ataxia, would you even LIKE a full-time relationship with your Daddy? it's interesting to me pondering how that would play out...


on a side note...you find penises weird and gross?!?! i think the male genitalia, all of it, is the most beautiful, fascinating, glorious thing. all we have to offer is a mysterious moist-ish hole. but they have POWER between their legs. power is and forever will be, uberhot.

No i don't think i would be any happier in a full time relationship with Daddy than i am now. i would just be unhappy about different things.

Penises are yucky. When Daddy takes a shower with me i always tell him not to let it touch me.

i'll tell you when Daddy came in the bathroom while i was getting ready for work and dry raped me in the ass it was not "rape play." It hurt like hell and i absolutely tried to get away which was pointless because Daddy is huge. There was blood down my legs and on the floor. i continued to bleed every time i went to the bathroom for 3 days.

There had been no discussion this even might happen. He had never shown any interest whatsoever in anal. i was taken completely off guard. Never in my wildest imagination did i think Daddy would take me this way DRY! i figured at some point he would do it just so he would know he took ALL my holes but i didn't think it would be a rape-like situation and certainly not without lube. He's not a sadist and not into inflicting pain, especially not on me. He will cane other women and do things to them but he has never hit me with anything more scary than a paint stick and that was not at all hard. Mostly he spanks me open handed and only the first couple smacks are hard just to get my attention. For the most part he just isn't into hurting me so the above incident was very uncharacteristic.

It left an impression however and certainly made me feel very owned and very powerless.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i'll tell you when Daddy came in the bathroom while i was getting ready for work and dry raped me in the ass it was not "rape play." It hurt like hell and i absolutely tried to get away which was pointless because Daddy is huge. There was blood down my legs and on the floor. i continued to bleed every time i went to the bathroom for 3 days.

There had been no discussion this even might happen. He had never shown any interest whatsoever in anal. i was taken completely off guard. Never in my wildest imagination did i think Daddy would take me this way DRY! i figured at some point he would do it just so he would know he took ALL my holes but i didn't think it would be a rape-like situation and certainly not without lube. He's not a sadist and not into inflicting pain, especially not on me. He will cane other women and do things to them but he has never hit me with anything more scary than a paint stick and that was not at all hard. Mostly he spanks me open handed and only the first couple smacks are hard just to get my attention. For the most part he just isn't into hurting me so the above incident was very uncharacteristic.

It left an impression however and certainly made me feel very owned and very powerless.

they will do that at times, for no reason other than the need was there, you were there, and they can. and isn't that wonderful? bloody bathroom trips aside (and trust me i can relate as that is the only way my body responds to anal for the last 5 years), isn't it wonderful that you can give that to him and that he wants it from YOU in particular?

 

[ownedsubgal]

I've never thought of consensual nonconsent in terms of rape play and such. I think of rape play as rape play, LOL.

yet another sign that "lifestyle" terminology has gone far, far over my head. lol

 

[MisterSir]

yet another sign that "lifestyle" terminology has gone far, far over my head. lol

Not necessarily a bad thing. There are so many terms for what eventually amounts to the same thing that I just get confused and angry and a little hungry by the whole shebang. A particular favourite is the recurring debate about whether girl X is a submissive or a slave or whatnot when half the people I see here define each of those differently and the other half have different and irreconcilable opinions on the question to begin with.

 

[ataxia.girl]

they will do that at times, for no reason other than the need was there, you were there, and they can. and isn't that wonderful? bloody bathroom trips aside (and trust me i can relate as that is the only way my body responds to anal for the last 5 years), isn't it wonderful that you can give that to him and that he wants it from YOU in particular?

i'm kinda meh on it being wonderful i can give that too him. i did surprise him last time by pretending to be a doll. i even kept my eyes straight ahead. He would move my head so i would be looking at him. i usually try to avoid eye contact. i don't like it. i could tell it was turning him on that i was giving up that power to look away and i did love that.

YES!!!

 

[ultramarineblue]

I'm like osg in that pretending makes me feel very uncomfortable. I am what I am. I guess in some ways I'm a little girl at times. But that isn't me pretending. That is completely who I am at that time. I really don't do well when someone is pretending. I think that is truly what they want. I'm not very capable of drawing a line between fantasy and reality. But that's just me.

 

[kaycee217]

i definitely get rape fantasies...at least, REAL rape fantasies. i don't get the appeal of play-acting rape or "consensual non-consent." of course, the overwhelming majority of those who claim to have rape fantasies, truly have consensual non-consent fantasies...weird. i suppose i'm the only one who fantasizes about the actual suffering, debasement and outright terror that only real rape can cause. *shrug*

Do you think these feelings would change if you were actually raped?

 

[ataxia.girl]

I'm like osg in that pretending makes me feel very uncomfortable. I am what I am. I guess in some ways I'm a little girl at times. But that isn't me pretending. That is completely who I am at that time. I really don't do well when someone is pretending. I think that is truly what they want. I'm not very capable of drawing a line between fantasy and reality. But that's just me.

i don't pretend.

my consent is implied when i show up. Whatever happens after that is just what happens. Sometimes he has to take me by force and sometimes he doesn't and sometimes we're somewhere in between. i just do what i feel.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Do you think these feelings would change if you were actually raped?

i'm pretty sure osg has a very intimate understanding of what rape feels like.

 

[kaycee217]

i'm pretty sure osg has a very intimate understanding of what rape feels like.

Really?

Perhaps there's some "inside" information I am not aware of. I am very intrigued by this topic, so I was quick to interject into this thread. Perhaps I just made a fool out of myself?

 

[BiBunny]

i don't pretend.

my consent is implied when i show up. Whatever happens after that is just what happens. Sometimes he has to take me by force and sometimes he doesn't and sometimes we're somewhere in between. i just do what i feel.

Yeah, that.

There's "oh, no, please, I'm just a little girl *giggle, giggle*," and then there's "you sonofabitch, when you let me up, I'm going to kill you." The first is just playing. The second is non-con.