Midlife

[Submission13]

How do you define a midlife crisis? Are there common aspects for men and women?

 

[lennythelion]

Tricky

How do you define a midlife crisis? Are there common aspects for men and women?

It seems to me that a midlife crisis is any period arising between the ages of 37 (say) and 53 (I'm guessing) where an individual calls into question the major choices they have made in their life. Mostly this tends to revolve around relationships and sex, but it can be a career thing (a guy I know jacked in his safe IT job to become an actor at age 41). What defines it is a sense of "now or never".

I have come to realise that this definition also applied to my friends who waited till they were fast approaching 40 to get married.

So, to answer the question, yes there are common aspects for men and women.

 

[silverwhisper]

i think the wiki is a good place to start. i know some people think ill of wikis, but as a beginning point at least, i think they fill a useful niche in online discussions.

why do you ask?

ed

 

[Submission13]

I asked innitialy because of all of the changes that have happened in my life. But since I wrote the innitial post my life has changed vastly again. My exwife just passed away on Nov. 2, so if I was having a midlife crisis its over. I am now a single parent of two daughters. So its no longer an issue at all, life goes on and now they are my focus. Youngest is 17 and in high school and she wants to stay where she is, I am moving to her.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

I asked innitialy because of all of the changes that have happened in my life. But since I wrote the innitial post my life has changed vastly again. My exwife just passed away on Nov. 2, so if I was having a midlife crisis its over. I am now a single parent of two daughters. So its no longer an issue at all, life goes on and now they are my focus. Youngest is 17 and in high school and she wants to stay where she is, I am moving to her.

I'm sorry for your loss. It may sounds trite coming from some anonymous poster on a message board, but I've lost my (unfair) share of loved ones and it sucks.

Before you move, you may want to see a therapist or councilor. Losing a spouse is a pretty big deal and no one expects you to get over it quickly. Additionally, many grief councilors will advise against making any major life style changes for at least a year after your loss. You're dealing with a pretty big change right now and it's not a good idea to compound your coping with another huge change.

 

[Submission13]

I agree about not making major life changes quickly, but my daughters live 2441 miles away from me and I am now their only surviving parent. Wish there was another way. I intend to seek out a therapist on the other end,for the three of us. TypicalDeviant I am sorry for your loss of loved ones.
I spent about an hour in the airport with a friends nephew who lost his best friend and buried him yesterday. If you haven't already, please sign up to be an organ donor. I need to get a new will and have a DNR included in it. Jet lag sucks, even if its only 3 hours...