sb2009
Really Wierd Chick
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2009
- Posts
- 1,401
Sorry if all of this is covered in other threads...
I'm female, 40 and have been in a stable marriage for 14 years. Before we had children we were really into sex all the time, and what we figured was mild bondage play - tieing up, spanking, mild pain, etc. Sex in public places was a big turn on also.
Once our children came along, we had what really ended up being a long "dry spell" in a way - either no sex or only quickies. He is military, so there were a few years of deployments in there as well.
Now that the children are a bit older we've had a sort of re-birth of our sex like - yay! I've noticed a few things about myself that are different - one is that I seem to crave much rougher sex than before. I wonder if this is due to being older and so much more history in our relationship, more trust, etc? Or if it's just a result of a decade or more information about sex in general.
The second is that when we were younger, he was always the one in "charge" - I guess the dominant one, though honestly we were not really thinking we in any sort of BDSM relationship. Now it's more like we take turns. We have fun restraints, etc, and he likes to be restrained as much as I do, etc. Is there a name for this? I ask because while I will "take charge" of our play if that's what he's in the mood for, I would much rather be the one being told what to do...I guess I'm lazy that way. I like to please him, however, and will gladly do so.
I know I sound hesitant in this post - it's my first time posting here. I also have honestly never met anyone who would admit to liking anything like rough sex, spanking, etc, so I have no real knowledge of the culture involved and don't want to come across as anything but naturally curious and willing to learn.
Thanks!
I'm female, 40 and have been in a stable marriage for 14 years. Before we had children we were really into sex all the time, and what we figured was mild bondage play - tieing up, spanking, mild pain, etc. Sex in public places was a big turn on also.
Once our children came along, we had what really ended up being a long "dry spell" in a way - either no sex or only quickies. He is military, so there were a few years of deployments in there as well.
Now that the children are a bit older we've had a sort of re-birth of our sex like - yay! I've noticed a few things about myself that are different - one is that I seem to crave much rougher sex than before. I wonder if this is due to being older and so much more history in our relationship, more trust, etc? Or if it's just a result of a decade or more information about sex in general.
The second is that when we were younger, he was always the one in "charge" - I guess the dominant one, though honestly we were not really thinking we in any sort of BDSM relationship. Now it's more like we take turns. We have fun restraints, etc, and he likes to be restrained as much as I do, etc. Is there a name for this? I ask because while I will "take charge" of our play if that's what he's in the mood for, I would much rather be the one being told what to do...I guess I'm lazy that way. I like to please him, however, and will gladly do so.
I know I sound hesitant in this post - it's my first time posting here. I also have honestly never met anyone who would admit to liking anything like rough sex, spanking, etc, so I have no real knowledge of the culture involved and don't want to come across as anything but naturally curious and willing to learn.
Thanks!
The beginning part of your post reads like it could have been written by me--the before kids sex life, the dry spell while kids were little, the military spouse, and the sexual re-awakening of sorts.
