I have a rape fantasy..

[prettydixie]

however, my husband is not sure how to "go about it" ...if anyone has any ideas on how to get him started..I would appreciate it..I do not know what kind of advice to give him, other than this is my fantasy...it's hard for me to give him a play by play - takes the "thrill" out of it...

annaallen73@gmail.com would work, too....

Thanks for any advice you can offer

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I assume it is your husband who you want to "rape" you.

You might try roleplaying a little first, you going to some bar or other place and then him coming in, trying to pick you up, acting as you are strangers to one another; getting used to the idea of interacting as strangers. from there the play may evolve, depending on his own fantasies - a school girl, a prostitute, following a woman in the mall. playing out a rape, i would imagine, is not the easiest. the other route to take is to have increasingly rough sex at home, making him more comfortable with the idea of forcing himself on you.

it does raise a question i've wondered about for sometime - a former gf claimed that the vast majority of women have rape fantasies. is that true?

 

[Ravenwind]

Well, what worked between my Husband and I, is I was preoccupied on the computer. He entered quietly, turned *all* the lights off quickly ensuring that I was essentially completely blind (all before I realized what was going on), grabbed a fistful of my hair, drug me to the bed, and put me at his mercy. It was then that he asserted his ownership of me. Best. Night. Ever.

 

[SweetErika]

however, my husband is not sure how to "go about it" ...if anyone has any ideas on how to get him started..I would appreciate it..I do not know what kind of advice to give him, other than this is my fantasy...it's hard for me to give him a play by play - takes the "thrill" out of it...

Thanks for any advice you can offer

Posting email addresses and other personal/contact info is neither smart nor allowed here.

Imagine your husband telling you he had a fantasy of being beat up and sodomized. You say you're not sure how to accomplish that, and ask for more details. After all, what if you two have completely different ideas of what "beat up" and "sodomize" mean? What if you go for the gusto thinking he wants to feel a lot of pain and terror, and you end up seriously harming him in the process? What if he's physically and emotionally scarred for life due to the lack of communication?

But when you ask for more info, he refuses to give much (or any), claiming he's "afraid talking about it will take the thrill out of it."

Do you still want to live out his murky fantasy with the knowledge the lack of communication and safeguards could seriously harm both of you?


Now the shoe's on the other foot, but I bet your husband has very valid concerns about harming both of you by acting out your "rape" fantasy without getting in your head and taking plenty of precautions. If he's semi-intelligent and caring, he's really worried about harming you physically, emotionally, play turning into reality, mixed signals, ruining your relationship and getting himself into legal trouble.

The solution is to communicate. Tell him you fear sharing your fantasy will take the thrill out of acting it out, and ask him to come up with his own variations within the bounds he's comfortable with. For instance, he could grab you when you least expect it or set it up so he appears to be an intruder. He could wear a mask, different cologne, shave or not, etc., to make it seem different and more realistic. Give him some ideas on how he can set the scene, and let his imagination do the rest.

Be explicit about what you're okay with and what your hard and soft limits are so he doesn't have to worry or guess. You also need to agree on a very clear safeword ("safeword" or "red" work fine for a lot of people) so you both have the power to stop things if they make either of you uncomfortable.

Basically, set him up for success by communicating clearly and taking precautions. "It won't be a thrill if I tell you what I want" is a common enough worry, but it's also a total cop-out that sets our partners up for failure. The reality is never going to match the fantasy, so you might as well make the most of what's actually going to happen and mitigate very real harm by drawing up an outline together.


Lost_Yonder, I'm sure you could find statistics somewhere, but it's true that many (and probably a majority of) women have forced seduction* fantasies.

*In my mind, the difference between forced seduction and rape is enjoyment: almost no one enjoys being raped, whereas plenty of people greatly enjoy thoughts of being seduced/taken forcibly and living out such fantasies.

 

[peachydreams]

As usual Sweet Erika has hit the nail on the head. My partner and I have discussed this type of fantasy but much more of a forced seduction fantasy than a rape. We haven't played it out as we are still discussing roles, safewords and our limits. I know it will involve blindfolds, and tying up. I am making a trip soon to the Goodwill store for something that I don't care if it gets ripped, torn, or cut off of me.

 

[infinity706]

I assume it is your husband who you want to "rape" you.

You might try roleplaying a little first, you going to some bar or other place and then him coming in, trying to pick you up, acting as you are strangers to one another; getting used to the idea of interacting as strangers. from there the play may evolve, depending on his own fantasies - a school girl, a prostitute, following a woman in the mall. playing out a rape, i would imagine, is not the easiest. the other route to take is to have increasingly rough sex at home, making him more comfortable with the idea of forcing himself on you.

it does raise a question i've wondered about for sometime - a former gf claimed that the vast majority of women have rape fantasies. is that true?

Well, rape fantasies consistantly rank in the top ten when women are polled on their fantasies. Another woman is always up there as well.

 

[Ravenwind]

To elaborate a little further on my earlier example, my Husband and I already had pre-defined limits, and known likes and dislikes, so in this, he 'pushed the edge' just a little bit, but in all areas at once: a little faster, a little harder, a little rougher, not using as much to lube me, without any lenience for me to adjust, and without as much of a chance for me to flee, and considering my suddenly imposed night-blindness, I was totally unaware of what he was doing to me. ...because I couldn't see, 'pushing the edge a little' seemed like 'one giant leap over it' at the time, and it gave me that massive rush of having my rape fantasy fulfilled.

However, he and I trust one another fully, knowing that whatever we do is either way under each others' limits, or we'll wind up laughing over the resultant unintended mishap (no matter how painful or physically damaging), but that's just how we are (he still occasionally picks on me over a licorice incident from 15 years ago). If both you don't have that mutual 100% trust, and know exactly where both of your limits are (and have a healthy understanding of one anothers' "unspoken" language, if either of you become unable to speak for any reason), you run the risk of one or the other of you being emotionally hurt if something goes wrong.

If you two don't already know each others' limits, I'd suggest spend time being increasingly rougher with one another, so you know where to draw the line with him, and he you, and what ways you'd let one another know "this is too much" (both spoken and unspoken), before enacting a rape fantasy without him knowing things like "this is how hard I can grasp her throat before she's uncomfortable with it" (...it'd really suck for you to tell him "harder", and in the heat of the moment, he goes from "weak grasp" to "windpipe crushing power").

Likewise, I have to agree with SweetErika. What do individual things mean to both of you? When my Husband and I discussed what I wanted, at one point I said, "Make me cry in pain", and he incredulously asked me, "What, you want me to beat you up?", to which I said no and further explained what I meant. Without that one simple question, the pain I got would have gotten not have been that which I had wanted.

The thrill will not be removed by talking about it... by no means... but rather, allow the thrill come from his creativity and the unexpectedness of when he chooses to enact it... but talk about it to ensure that the thrill does not become a tragedy.

 

[ImOnIt]

Say you like it, let your expectations be known, and give permission/ask!

" You know, if you wake up first, why dont you jill me off with your little finger until i wake too? I'd love to start my morning like that, hon"

"Sweets, I want you to play rape me some time. Maybe one day when you come home from work (and noone else is home) you can push me wherever you want me, fuck me (in the pussy) and be rough (pull my hair, throw me around), and fuck me like its all you want from me".

 

[CherryBomb24]

i smell troll.
This post along with the one in How To.
Yeah different screen names but email address you posted is the same as the screen name of your other post.
Dont feed the trolls!

 

[fgarvb1]

i smell troll.
This post along with the one in How To.
Yeah different screen names but email address you posted is the same as the screen name of your other post.
Dont feed the trolls!

Damn!

I've been had!

And it wasn't good either.

 

[CherryBomb24]

however, my husband is not sure how to "go about it" ...if anyone has any ideas on how to get him started..I would appreciate it..I do not know what kind of advice to give him, other than this is my fantasy...it's hard for me to give him a play by play - takes the "thrill" out of it...

annaallen73 would work, too....

Thanks for any advice you can offer

quoting it so they cant lie and say "oh it wasnt me!!!" bullshit.
again - i smell troll

 

[SweetErika]

quoting it so they cant lie and say "oh it wasnt me!!!" bullshit.
again - i smell troll

Take the email addy out of your quote, though. If this is a troll, they may very well be looking to harass someone by asking people to email rape roleplay suggestions. I'm sure the leghumpers are already all over that request.

 

[CherryBomb24]

Take the email addy out of your quote, though. If this is a troll, they may very well be looking to harass someone by asking people to email rape roleplay suggestions. I'm sure the leghumpers are already all over that request.

true - didnt think of that.