Is "Gay" A Choice?

[Liar]

[/ THREAD JACK]

uuuuh, Is "Gay" A Choice?????

To answer in a slightly thread-jacky way.

Shouldn't matter even if it was?

 

[freshface]

To answer in a slightly thread-jacky way.

Shouldn't matter even if it was?

Certainly it shouldn't. But the camp that believes it's a choice would like very much to lump it in with smoking or drug use as something (bad) that people could stop doing if they just had enough willpower/character. There are an awful lot of American teenagers who struggle with their sexuality because they were taught from earliest childhood that gay people choose to be gay. They tend to take it as a sign of personal weakness that they can't control their own urges.

 

[sr71plt]

There are an awful lot of American teenagers who struggle with their sexuality because they were taught from earliest childhood that gay people choose to be gay. They tend to take it as a sign of personal weakness that they can't control their own urges.

So, along those lines, do you think JBJ has chosen to be JBJ or is it just a weakness he can't control?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

How do you account for gays who dont want to be gay?

 

[Guest]

So, along those lines, do you think JBJ has chosen to be JBJ or is it just a weakness he can't control?

Like difficulties with bowel or bladder control?

 

[freshface]

So, along those lines, do you think JBJ has chosen to be JBJ or is it just a weakness he can't control?

Can I just choose to not think about JBJ at all? But if I must, I can't imagine that anyone would choose to be JBJ, so it must be a weakness.

 

[sr71plt]

Response to JBJ: Is this a trick question? Societal pressure, of course.

 

[Stella_Omega]

But whether you act upon that attraction and indulge the gamut of emotional and physical (and even psychological) pressures said attraction places upon you, that could be considered as a choice. Which would make being gay also a choice.

"to do is to be," huh?

I'm not sure what you think these people will do instead; endure the gamut of emotional, physical and psychological pressures that would attend forcing an attachment on a partner of the wrong sex? Or just spend a lifetime without sexual partners at all?

I suppose you could "make a choice" to eat raw oatmeal exclusively and teach yourself to enjoy it. You wouldn't starve to death. But you wouldn't be eating as well as the rest of the people at the table.

 

[Remec]

"to do is to be," huh?

I'm not sure what you think these people will do instead; endure the gamut of emotional, physical and psychological pressures that would attend forcing an attachment on a partner of the wrong sex? Or just spend a lifetime without sexual partners at all?

I suppose you could "make a choice" to eat raw oatmeal exclusively and teach yourself to enjoy it. You wouldn't starve to death. But you wouldn't be eating as well as the rest of the people at the table.

I do think that the choice they would be making would be one of the following: act contrary to their nature and indulge in heterosexual relationships or be celibate.

That's really the only choices any of us have, IMHO, when it comes down to it.

• Be nonsexual.
• Be something we really don't feel we are.
• Be true to ourselves.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I do think that the choice they would be making would be one of the following: act contrary to their nature and indulge in heterosexual relationships or be celibate.

That's really the only choices any of us have, IMHO, when it comes down to it.

• Be nonsexual.
• Be something we really don't feel we are.
• Be true to ourselves.

Hugs, Remmie. Yeah, you get it...

 

[CharleyH]

:

Pictures. Why are you NOT sharing? LOL

 

[Stella_Omega]

I do think that the choice they would be making would be one of the following: act contrary to their nature and indulge in heterosexual relationships or be celibate.

That's really the only choices any of us have, IMHO, when it comes down to it.

• Be nonsexual.
• Be something we really don't feel we are.
• Be true to ourselves.

I always challenge heterosexuals to think about having to make these choices, and it's really hard to get them to think it through.

"But... I don't HAVE to try to make myself be gay, being straight is right!"

 

[WRJames]

Let me begin by saying that I don't think that being gay is a "bad" thing.

However, to ignore the influence of cultural conditioning in our sexul behavior is just wrong.

I assume none of the people doing these scientific studies never bothed to go to history class. They aren't aware in of the Greeks and Romans? Or are they going to say that there was something in the ancient diet that made everyone susceptible to homosexual behavior? And that something turned up again in Renaissance Europe?

Really.

Now, under current conditions, you may have to have a really strong predisposition to be gay, because it is culturally discouraged, or at least it has been. But isn't that changing? I would expect there would be more experimentation, at least, with same sex relationships.

This whole thing with "natural" is based on Paul's letter to the Romans, where he condemns homosexuality as being "against nature." There has been a whole train of thought in the Christian community to accept homosexuality because it is "natural" after all. It's better than condemning homosexualty, but as far as I'm concerned the argument does not hold water.

 

[CharleyH]

How do you account for gays who dont want to be gay?

I don't know how to answer this JBJ. All I can ask is how do you account for straights who don't want to be straight?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't know how to answer this JBJ. All I can ask is how do you account for straights who don't want to be straight?

PLEASE don't quote JBJ the poo flinging monkey. talking to him is no more beneficial than talking to a turd in the gutter.

 

[Samuel667]

As Pride Day comes upon us, I think your question very valid. Being bisexual and female, it is hard for me to answer.

Thanks, yeah I was addressing the question more towards the guys...

 

[Samuel667]

Why are some women "girly-girls" and other women remain tomboys their whole lives? Is my indifference to make-up, trendy clothes, and high heals inherent in me or am I attempting to act as "abnormal" as possible? Why do some straight men really like wearing women's clothing even though they have no interest at all in sex with other men?

Why do people have to be shoved into categories that define what "normal" should be for them? Could it possibly be that we are all unique in our preferences and behaviors?

Those are all legitimate questions, but they don't help me answer mine... I'm all for not being shoved into categories. But apparently a lot of gay men either adopt or inherently possess certain characteristics that are very similar; I'm wondering why.

 

[CharleyH]

PLEASE don't quote JBJ the poo flinging monkey. talking to him is no more beneficial than talking to a turd in the gutter.

People keep telling me this. Don't worry. No more posts to him, now.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Those are all legitimate questions, but they don't help me answer mine... I'm all for not being shoved into categories. But apparently a lot of gay men either adopt or inherently possess certain characteristics that are very similar; I'm wondering why.

Human beings fall into cultural norms very easily; "Cultural norms" in this case, referring to the smaller group cultures that each of us find ourselves in. We all of us have a need to identify. Any person who finds themselves outcast from general society will turn to a smaller tribe.

There are other instances of this, such as gang-banger's clothing and attitudes, which certainly are not the norm, and are equally flamboyant in many ways. Punk-rockers. Society debs. Nerds. Each group has its own slang, attitude, that sets it apart from the rest of the herd. Gay men who act like queens are no different.

Honest.

 

[Stella_Omega]

People keep telling me this. Don't worry.

Quoting him is equivalent to stepping in it and bringing it into the house with you. It's stinky for everyone else.

 

[ericahope]

I think that everyone is born ambisexual (I'm going to patend that word soon). We are presented with social situations that condition us during our formulative years and it determines which way we swing. Boys are given very masculine toys to play with, rooms painted in blue, and told to mimic Daddy. Girls are given dolls, rooms painted pink, and told to do as Mommy does. The gays that are born that way are the ones that stray from this conditioning and no matter the effort to persuade them differently, grow up gay.

If these typical role-modeling influences were taken away, people would grow comfortably with whatever they chose.

I actually think you're onto something. I think very few people are simply born straight or gay. I think we're all somewhere in the mushy middle with inclinations in one direction or another basically capable of any sexual act or desire. It's a mixture of nature and nurture (more nurture than nature in my mind). I'll bet that if our society was more open to homosexuality and people saw it on a regular basis they'd consider it more normal and we'd see a lot more people engaging in homosexual acts and having homosexual desires - and not simply because all the new "gays" were closeted, but because they'd want to experiment with other ways getting sexually satisfied.

I know, I'm probably going to be ridiculed by supposedly open-minded people for expressing this view, but hey, it's what I've experienced. They can deal with it.

Erica

 

[sr71plt]

But apparently a lot of gay men either adopt or inherently possess certain characteristics that are very similar; I'm wondering why.

More the perception of the beholder, I think. Gay guys can come in as many different varieties as anyone else. You probably just don't see 80 percent of the varieties because of your assumptions.

 

[CharleyH]

Quoting him is equivalent to stepping in it and bringing it into the house with you. It's stinky for everyone else.

Okay, okay I get it. No posting to HIM.

 

[sr71plt]

Okay, okay I get it. No posting to HIM.

On the other hand you could do as it pleases you and not let yourself be controlled by group think. Those not really wanting to read anything a particular poster posts could really just take more responsibility for themselves. The quote feature tells you who is being quoted right up front; they could just not read further.

The posting you quoted is a case in point. JBJ asked a straightforward question I wanted to respond to. I tried working around not quoting that straightforward question, running the risk of readers not knowing what exactly I was responding to (which is the function the quotes fulfill here). You didn't. So what? His was a straightforward question (if a jabbing one). Do you really want to be controlled by mob rule by not responding to something you want to respond to here when the ignorers could just take a little more person responsibility for their restraint decision if it bothered them so much?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

SR71PLT

Thank you very kindly! A mob is where a coward feels most comfortable and safe.

I have a hunch a few of these people wouldnt have the balls to confront real evil, they cant confront a nuisance.