Distance Domination-Support Thread

[Adakgirl]

Are you being truthful with me me? Are you with another submissive Master? Why won't you tell me what's going on? Why aren't you giving me ways to serve you? How hard is writing a few sentences more to me? Master I don't care if it is not easy and I do not expect it to be fair. Tell me if u think I am worth it, tell me it you want me, tell me if I am still yours?

Master, I will wait for you for how ever long it takes, even though it is not easy or fair..if that is your wish. You are well worth waiting for. Do not be sorry it can't be helped and I understand that. It's ok Master. I never assumed being your submissive would be easy, I would much rather be alone and lonely but still know you own me than be alone, and lonely without you at all Master.

But if this is just your way of getting rid of me, letting me down easy and not the truth, please just tell me straight up that you do not want me anymore and I will go.
your devoted slut

As you can read above, I did ask him, those are e-mail replies I sent him....no response since that last one on the 9th

 

[Bandit58]

As you can read above, I did ask him, those are e-mail replies I sent him....no response since that last one on the 9th

If it were me I'd be starting to feel a bit pissed....how hard is it to send a quick email or text message to let you know he's still interested in the relationship

I had a guy once (not D/s) who gradually stopped contacting me. It would be a day, then two, then a week without contact. I finally got hold of him on the phone (he'd not been taking my calls either ) only to find out that he'd found someone closer (same town) and didn't have the balls to tell me

I hope that's not what's happened to you Adakgirl, but it does seem suss that he's not replied to you in 4 days. I would give him a week or so and then if still no reply I would be moving on....sorry

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

i see him tommorrow!

so excited, im almost frantic trying to get everything together.

I'm so happy for you 'sis'

I'll be home next friday so I can truly relate

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

As you can read above, I did ask him, those are e-mail replies I sent him....no response since that last one on the 9th

*hugs* to you. I am so sorry you have not had an easy time of this the past few days.

 

[the captians wench]

As you can read above, I did ask him, those are e-mail replies I sent him....no response since that last one on the 9th

I have to agree with Bandit, and I'm used to going periods with out contact. However a week is my breaking point and he knows it. Last time he had a situation that kept him off line for a while he sent me an email from a work computer (on the sly as he was sneaking on some one else's station since he's not suposed to email at work) to tell me that his net was down for a while, exactly one week from the last time we spoke.

Really with all of the technology that we possess, a week seems more than enough time for some one to send an email, call, text, something. Hell i even send snail mail and it's in Ireland in a week.

Give it a few more days anyway, and if he hasn't given you at least a "we'll talk about it later" then i would start the recovery process. At least then if he does come around it's cool, and if he doesn't you're prepared. *hugs*

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Just thought I would say hi and give a hug to Adakgirl, it can't be at all easy luvvie. I really do hope its circumstances beyond anyones control rather than anyone else.

MIS have a WONDERFUL time, I've got 6 weeks, seems like forever.

And to everyone else, I hope today finds you all well and happy. I now have 5 days without Daddy due to weekends and holidays, thank god for text messages. I am going to be climbing the walls by the time we speak again.

 

[the captians wench]

Two months

He's starting to look into the hotel list that I provided for him, so it's all starting to feel real.

I go thru and find hotels that are with in my price range, then he checks them out and sees if they are in a good area and how decent they are.

He wants to stay further into the city this time to save money on travel, and with the drop in hotel prices it might be worth it.

can't wait.

 

[the captians wench]

I have been totally spoiled this weekend

He started IMing me when I was just getting off of work saturday night, about 7ish. and we chatted my whole way home, and once I got home until 10. Then he told me to call him when I woke up. I did, but didn't get to talk to him then, but he did pop online and we IMed for another 3 hours before he went for lunch. I got one more hour of IMing before I had to go to work, but then I chatted on the phone with him my whole way there.

That's 8 hours of "us time" in a 48 hour period! We havne't had that in so long. I was positively beeming when I got to work. *giggles*

 

[Adakgirl]

Awwwwwwwwwww thank you all so so very much for your support and hugs and stuff. I really needed that and now I understand how this thread is such a help to us all.
I am so happy you are going to see him again in just two more months wench! Question: Are you always the one who pays for the hotel & trip or does he pay for the flight and you the hotel or do you take turns? Just curious.

UPDATE: This got his attention quick- I sent it on the 12th

As to my last e-mail. I should not have doubted you for a moment Master. I know in my heart you will come back to use me and I know that you still want me as your lil one/ submissive/slut. I know you would not release me in such a manner and I believe you have always been truthful with me as I have with you. I do not doubt you Master.

As for my adoration and caring concern for you Master, if you feel that I have been getting to emotionally close to you, if you think I have become too attached to you too quickly, if my intense need for your Dominance over me..makes you feel overwhelmed or pressured or if I am making you uncomfortable because of that, then I will stop it. I will change my attitude and just stop feeling those ways towards you. If that is your wish.


I think it is only natural that a submissive should adore, worship, have concern for, have intense need for, and work towards having emotional closeness with her Master. I think it is natural for me to miss you like I do and I think it is perfectly natural to have such an attachment to you Master.

Just because I have those kinds of feelings and emotions for you and want to enjoy having them with you, does not mean I think I will ever have you for real, that I think that we will someday be together, be perfect for each other, you will own me 24/7 and you might want to spend the rest of MY life living happily ever after. I am almost 51 years old and you are a young man. I realize it's to late for me. So no worries Master, I may adore you, want you with every fiber of my being, but I know I can't have you. I am a big girl, I am well aware of what is out of my realm of possibilities.

Then I got this- the 13th
Hello my slut, no i am not just doing this in order to let you down easily. I had to come down here bc my grandmother has been very sick and had to be admitted to the hospital. I am still here, and it is unknown when i will return, bc i have been caring for her. I really havent gotten online much as you can tell, as it really hasnt been on my mind. That is not meant to be callous towards you or anything, but that is why i havent been giving you anything to do, and really havent messaged you.Things are looking better now, so i am hopeful that i will be able to return home soon, but i can make no promises about that. I will chat with you soon.

and a little manipulation physiology can go a long way so I wrote him this:

k Master Thank u for finally telling me what was going on. I am glad that you thought to e-mail me bc I have been going nuts here... full of insecurity and worry that you were going to disappear for good, I am feeling like I am out of control again. It has been 5 days since I last heard from you. I think I know now why I have not been on your mind. I know how much energy and attention it takes to care for a very sick loved one. I understand how there can be nothing much left over to think about your slut or even to miss me. I know that I am simply a recreational vehicle for your use, so you don't have to concern yourself about me. I appreciate the e-mail explanation. Happy to hear that things are looking better for your grandmother.

Then I sent another telling him that now I know we were ok he didn't have to be concerned about me until he got home and settled back into his routine. That I was ok , just felt a bit out of control. then I asked him with all due respect if he would plz think about sending me some tasks to accomplish and instructions on how he wanted my masturbation carried out. That would help me get thru this better...but if he did not have an inclination to do that I would understand.

He then emailed me back that night, asked me 8 questions and gave me a task. He also gave me instructions on what to do every time I was feeling out of control and blue.

YES!! So all is well again and I am feeling wonderful over the fact that I did not misjudge him. That it WAS my imagination. I do feel guilty for manipulating him into reacting and responding to me tho. I think if he had been thinking about pulling away, this manipulation may have brought him back around.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

I am so happy for you Adakgirl *BIG HUGGIES*

Awwwwwwwwwww thank you all so so very much for your support and hugs and stuff. I really needed that and now I understand how this thread is such a help to us all.
I am so happy you are going to see him again in just two more months wench! Question: Are you always the one who pays for the hotel & trip or does he pay for the flight and you the hotel or do you take turns? Just curious.

UPDATE: This got his attention quick- I sent it on the 12th




and a little manipulation physiology can go a long way so I wrote him this:


Then I sent another telling him that now I know we were ok he didn't have to be concerned about me until he got home and settled back into his routine. That I was ok , just felt a bit out of control. then I asked him with all due respect if he would plz think about sending me some tasks to accomplish and instructions on how he wanted my masturbation carried out. That would help me get thru this better...but if he did not have an inclination to do that I would understand.

He then emailed me back that night, asked me 8 questions and gave me a task. He also gave me instructions on what to do every time I was feeling out of control and blue.

YES!! So all is well again and I am feeling wonderful over the fact that I did not misjudge him. That it WAS my imagination. I do feel guilty for manipulating him into reacting and responding to me tho. I think if he had been thinking about pulling away, this manipulation may have brought him back around. I believe open honest manipulation(topping from the bottom perhaps?) can sometimes help a situation.

 

[the captians wench]

Awwwwwwwwwww thank you all so so very much for your support and hugs and stuff. I really needed that and now I understand how this thread is such a help to us all.
I am so happy you are going to see him again in just two more months wench! Question: Are you always the one who pays for the hotel & trip or does he pay for the flight and you the hotel or do you take turns? Just curious.

Originally (for the first trip) we had arranged that he would book the hotel, me my flight, then split costs while I was there. The finer details of splitting the costs weren't worked out yet and that had me a bit nervouse, but that was the deal. By chance, it turned out that I could get a better deal than he could if I booked the same hotel online, vs him booking it there in person with cash. So I booked the hotel and he agreed to "sort me out" once I arrived.

We spent about 3 days doing things before he brought up the subject, I hadn't given it a second thought actually. In those three days he paid for everything. Cab fair and other travel expences, admitance to the places we went, all the food that I consume (I eat every 2 hours due to my sugar issues) I hadn't spent a dime.

When he brought the subject up, he asked me if I'd like him to give me the money and we'd split things from then on, or would I like to keep up how we were doing things. I thought it was simpler the way we had things worked. There was no worry or tention on who buys lunch, and who buys dinner, or is it my turn to pay bus fair or yours. There was less chance of confrontation less chance for discord the way things had worked the past three days and already being in an unfamilure situation I liked avoiding any extra uncomfortable situations.

I told him how I felt about it, and he agreed. He did make me buy dinner once because I was being cheeky on the train, but I didn't mind.

It never accured to me to ask him how much he spent while I was there. I saw a few of the checks, and I knew the admition prices to the things we did, and I saw the tram fair and cab fair, but I didn't see the train ticket prices (which he had to buy mine twice because I lost mine ) and I didn't keep tabs on it. After a search into train tickets to compair prices on an activity I'd like to do this time I have a better idea of how much he really spent, and I think he ended up spending more than I did actually....especailly after buying my ticket twice. (he never once made me feel bad about that, and made efforts to make sure I didn't feel guilty which of course I did anyway. Now that I have some idea of how much that ticket I lost was worth I feel even worse )

This way works for us, but every one has a different way to do things. I get people telling me all of the time that "if he really loved me and wanted me there he'd pay for everything". Personally I think that's bullshit, along with being very selfish. I don't want my visits to be a burden on him, that would taint my stay and cause resentment. Besides that, I want to be there just as much as he wants me there.

That's the gorey details *giggles*

 

[Homburg]

Besides that, I want to be there just as much as he wants me there.

This is the core of the issue. Both parties want to be together, so financial expense being shared should be an issue predicated more on each parties' ability to provide more than some misplaced idea on who pays what.

Generally, when MIS and I visit, we make our own arrangements for travel. I pay for my gas when I travel, she pays for her tickets when she does, etc. It is just how we do things. Generally, I cover the majority of the expenses. She's a student-teacher, and has no income. Sometimes though, she chips in, and occasionally, she chips in seriously. This recent visit was an example. Due to family politics, we had to switch to a hotel room at the last minute. Knowing that I didn't have the money for something like that on such short notice (literally had to switch the day before I was to travel up), she pulled money out to help pay for the room.

As an aside, her tickets down here are always dead cheap. Greyhound runs a ~$24 shuttle from NYC to DC, and I pick her up in DC. I actually spend about as much on gas to DC and back as she does on her bus ticket, and would spend more than her ticket price just in tolls to get to NYC. It is a really good deal. Thank goodness for Greyhound.

Usually, I pay more of the expenses, and significantly so. Is it because I feel like I should as the man? No, it is because I have income (however pathetically sparse right now) and she does not. Ability, not willingness, is what is important. And I have made damned certain to not make her feel bad about what I'm spending. I'm not buying thousand dollar plane tickets or anything, and the money is always carefully budgeted out from sidework I do. I just can't see making her feel bad about money I spend when I want to be there as badly as she wants me there.

 

[the captians wench]

This is the core of the issue. Both parties want to be together, so financial expense being shared should be an issue predicated more on each parties' ability to provide more than some misplaced idea on who pays what.

Generally, when MIS and I visit, we make our own arrangements for travel. I pay for my gas when I travel, she pays for her tickets when she does, etc. It is just how we do things. Generally, I cover the majority of the expenses. She's a student-teacher, and has no income. Sometimes though, she chips in, and occasionally, she chips in seriously. This recent visit was an example. Due to family politics, we had to switch to a hotel room at the last minute. Knowing that I didn't have the money for something like that on such short notice (literally had to switch the day before I was to travel up), she pulled money out to help pay for the room.

As an aside, her tickets down here are always dead cheap. Greyhound runs a ~$24 shuttle from NYC to DC, and I pick her up in DC. I actually spend about as much on gas to DC and back as she does on her bus ticket, and would spend more than her ticket price just in tolls to get to NYC. It is a really good deal. Thank goodness for Greyhound.

Usually, I pay more of the expenses, and significantly so. Is it because I feel like I should as the man? No, it is because I have income (however pathetically sparse right now) and she does not. Ability, not willingness, is what is important. And I have made damned certain to not make her feel bad about what I'm spending. I'm not buying thousand dollar plane tickets or anything, and the money is always carefully budgeted out from sidework I do. I just can't see making her feel bad about money I spend when I want to be there as badly as she wants me there.

Exactly.

People looked at me like I was nuts when I said I already had two trips booked for this year. I told them that that would not be possible if it weren't for SKL's help (carefully substituting "my flight attendant friend" for SKL), she got me two flights booked for what I paid for the first one. What I didn't tell them is that I haven't paid for the tickets yet. (and for work perposes if they thing I have non refundable tickets purchased already it's a good thing).

I'm also killer with a budget. I know how much I can squeeze out. How many extra costumes I need to sell. And what sacrifices I have to make to be able to travel as much as I want. So I opt for two trips insted of buying a new computer, I cook at home insted of eating out every night. I watch tv online insted of paying for cable. I only use my cell phone rather than have a land line also. I chose to buy fabric in Ireland rather than name brand clothes here. I make these choices based on my personal priorities.

I'm in a good place, better than most in this time, but that doesn't mean I don't make sacrifices to provide for the choices I make. I'd love to get an Iphone like my mom's, but I get a Mcdiscount thru the company that I'm with and choose to get the best phone I can for free so that I can stay an extra day in Dublin. *shrug* It's all about priorities.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

My trip to Dublin this time is paid for. All I have to take is spending money. BUT it is our first meet and he is MORE than determined that all will go smoothly. I have offered and even gone so far as to throw a strop to get him to let me pay for some of it but hes having none of it.

I consider myself very lucky this time around, but even if I have to be the biggest brat on the planet, next time will be different and I will split the costs with him. It really does not seem fair that hes paying everything, I know in the big scheme of costs etc its not that much, its only a 30 minute flight lol but I like to know all things, moneywise at least, are equal.

 

[the captians wench]

My trip to Dublin this time is paid for. All I have to take is spending money. BUT it is our first meet and he is MORE than determined that all will go smoothly. I have offered and even gone so far as to throw a strop to get him to let me pay for some of it but hes having none of it.

I consider myself very lucky this time around, but even if I have to be the biggest brat on the planet, next time will be different and I will split the costs with him. It really does not seem fair that hes paying everything, I know in the big scheme of costs etc its not that much, its only a 30 minute flight lol but I like to know all things, moneywise at least, are equal.

That's great that he can do that for you, seems very sweet. I know Jounar was worried about making my first trip there as perfect as possible. He was afraid I wouldn't want to come back!

The truth of the matter is, I'm fairly certian that I'm in a better financial situation than he is at least at the moment, so I am a little forth coming with paying for things. If things were reversed, I'm sure he'd be the same way.

Money is the number one issue couples fight over. I just want things to be a smooth as possible. I'm very tight with money, and very strict with my spending habbit, but I'm also very honest when I need help.

 

[Homburg]

I get a Mcdiscount thru the company that I'm with and choose to get the best phone I can for free so that I can stay an extra day in Dublin. *shrug* It's all about priorities.

These are the sorts of thoughts I have as well. The fancy phone is nice, but I'd rather be able to take more time on my next trip.

Priorities

 

[Adakgirl]

I agree with you wench and Homberg, I was simply curious as to how you worked that out, I was not saying he should pay for your trips. The two times I have traveled for visits to NJ and IND, the men insisted on paying for the trip even after I protested, so I let them pay. I did buy a few dinners and had my own spending money.


LOL on having to pay for a ticket twice. When a friend I met on a chat site flew me out to Indiana for a visit, he bought me a round trip ticket. We both thought my return flight was for Tue morning. We both read my itinerary before I came and did not re-chk it after I had arrived. About 4:AM Mon morning we heard the answering machine...message, something about my flight.

We didn't catch it all, thinking it was a reminder of my flight on Tues we ignored it, because our minds were on how we were going to spend our last day together and nothing else. Before we took off Tues morn for the airport we checked on the computer..turns out my flight was on Monday and we had missed it by a whole day. We both could have sworn it was on Tues! BIG MISTAKE!

He had to buy a new return ticket which cost him almost as much as the round trip one. He spent an extra 650.00 bucks to get me back home.

 

[Adakgirl]

OK, I have been given a difficult task. To think of something really kinky to vid for him and do it. I can't think of anything more kinky than the several very kinky that have already done. I am wondering where I might find instructions on how to bind rope around my body to make things interesting..and then figure out something from there.

I have attempted breast binding, and it worked ..but I ended up looking roped up like a gaggle fuc in a whirlwind. It looked terrible! Thinking kinky for cam/vids alone has limited possibilities. If I ask for your ideas, I might be making a mistake because he asked ME to think up something kinky not you. But getting some instruction on self-binding would be ok I think.

Homberg do you have any methods for this type of rope work?

 

[Homburg]

Homberg do you have any methods for this type of rope work?

Twisted Monk has many videos on his site, and some on youtube as well. There are a few that you could use as self-ties. I know some folks that did a breast harness and tied one knee up to the chest.

 

[Adakgirl]

Thank you very much I will check that out.

I am reveling in such happiness and pure joy this morning! My Master returned home!!
But only for a few days. I was confessing something to him in an e-mail I had neglected to do while he has been away. I sent it and then feeling quite sorry for myself and pitiful I re-checked my inbox with scant hope he sent me a word or two. There was a message from him! My whole spirit picked up and I clicked on it.

It said he wanted to let me know he was home for a few days and hoped he would chat with me on-line tonight!! He caught me completely unaware. I glanced at the clock..it's very very late..panic hit me, the adrenalin rushed thru my veins, I might miss him!
I'll bet no-one,... ever before.. in the history of Yahoo has opened that IM program as fast as I did! He was still there...I was bursting with emotion so ecstatic that I did not miss him.

We had a very enjoyable chat, he addressed a few things with me, and then he had to go. I get to talk to him tomorrow night again. Before he left he threw this at me"
" Good night my slut and..good luck with finding the rope work for that kinky video"

OMg I was so embarrassed, even though I had asked if it was ok first, I didn't think for a moment he would take the time to read what I have written about us in this thread. Now I am left to wonder if he hasn't been reading it all along..and torturing me by not responding to me on purpose! It would be just like him to do that.

 

[noangel1]

Hi everyone, have been reading the thread and found it wonderful. I am in a distance relationship myself and wanted to say hi.

Adakgirl. Good to hear your Master is home. I miss mine so much when he is away.

I hope he hasn't read too much!

My Master would not tolerate me manipulating him!

 

[Adakgirl]

Greetings and welcome noangel1. When I say "home" I mean he is back at his home...just to clarify.
Oh....I think he may be letting me THINK I was manipulating him. Actually, I called it manipulation but it was more baiting for a reaction. It was definitely pushing him for info though.


Kaykat should be f2f with her MasterPhoenix right now

and

innerslut should be f2f with her Master Homberg right now

did I miss anyone?

 

[the captians wench]

I agree with you wench and Homberg, I was simply curious as to how you worked that out, I was not saying he should pay for your trips. The two times I have traveled for visits to NJ and IND, the men insisted on paying for the trip even after I protested, so I let them pay. I did buy a few dinners and had my own spending money.


LOL on having to pay for a ticket twice. When a friend I met on a chat site flew me out to Indiana for a visit, he bought me a round trip ticket. We both thought my return flight was for Tue morning. We both read my itinerary before I came and did not re-chk it after I had arrived. About 4:AM Mon morning we heard the answering machine...message, something about my flight.

We didn't catch it all, thinking it was a reminder of my flight on Tues we ignored it, because our minds were on how we were going to spend our last day together and nothing else. Before we took off Tues morn for the airport we checked on the computer..turns out my flight was on Monday and we had missed it by a whole day. We both could have sworn it was on Tues! BIG MISTAKE!

He had to buy a new return ticket which cost him almost as much as the round trip one. He spent an extra 650.00 bucks to get me back home.

Okay, that makes me feel a little better.

This time I'm making sure that I put all tickets in my wallet, and not in my pockets!

 

[Homburg]

innerslut should be f2f with her Master Homberg right now

We were over the weekend. Now I am back in VA.

 

[KayKat]

Greetings and welcome noangel1. When I say "home" I mean he is back at his home...just to clarify.
Oh....I think he may be letting me THINK I was manipulating him. Actually, I called it manipulation but it was more baiting for a reaction. It was definitely pushing him for info though.


Kaykat should be f2f with her MasterPhoenix right now

and

innerslut should be f2f with her Master Homberg right now

did I miss anyone?

I will be going to mine in June