Belief in Patriotism

slyc_willie

Captain Crash
Joined
Sep 4, 2006
Posts
17,732
Before going to bed, as the Advil PM is starting to kick in, I tend to randomly search through video clips on YouTube. The baby's asleep, my lady has already gone to bed (she gets up much earlier than I). It's a quiet time of night. My mind has a tendency to wander in various chaotic directions.

By chance, I happened to find a short clip of a scene from Oliver Stone's "Born on the 4th of July." Tom Cruise's arrogance and Stone's over-the-top conspiracy theories aside, I've always liked the movie. I like the message, what it says about patriotism.

I found myself thinking about my years as a soldier. For those of you who don't know, a "soldier" in the US is someone who served in the Army. There are marines, airmen, seamen, and soldiers. You don't call a marine a "soldier," you call him (or her) a marine. So on and so forth. There is a lot of pride involved for those of us who have served, and that pride is attached in part to the name we share. But I'm getting away from the point. Bear with me.

I remember the romantic illusions I held when I showed up at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) before being bussed out to Fort Knox for basic training. I honestly don't remember much of that day, or the ride itself. My memories of the holdover time before I was assigned to a platoon are similarly hazy. But I swear, I remember every damn minute of those eight weeks of basic. I remember the friends I made and never heard from again. I remember the rigors of training, the times in which I almost felt like throwing up because my body couldn't take any more stress.

I remember graduation, and the fact that no one from my family showed up for the event. I remember the weekend afterward, and the various eager young ladies I spent time with. :devil:

I was assigned to a CID unit, but before I was to be flown out to Europe, there was more training. Fort Jackson. Fort Benning. Those months all blended together, although I do remember certain key points. I was top in my class during sniper school. ;) I pissed myself on my first airborne jump. I excelled at close-combat fighting, both bare-handed and with a knife. Seems I had certain natural skills.

Anyway, the years after all that training were both a vindication of the time spent in preparation and a very serious sobering up. As I mentioned, I had certain romantic illusions about what it meant to be a soldier. I'm sure just about anyone who has served knows what I mean. When you're in the military, you become aware of a very heightened sense of inclusion into something that is noble, strong, meaningful.

At least, it should be.

As I said, I was in a CID unit. Criminal Investigation Division. In other words, I was to the US military what Internal Affairs is to any police department. It was a career-making position. You don't hear about weekend warriors being CID. At my current age, I would by now be a colonel.

Obviously, I didn't stay. I flew fast from second to first lieutenant, and when re-enlistment came up, I was informed that I was to be made a captain and given my own command. Whispers on the mind suggested that the rank of Major would not be too far behind.

But I opted out. I had done things in those four years that flew so completely in the face of my romantic illusions regarding the US military that my view of my place within the institution had become irrevocably tarnished. Not that I had lost any sense of respect for the military. I simply question my role within it, and what it would do to me if I continued. If the term "epiphany" has ever had any greater meaning in my life, I am not aware of it.

In the time since I left the Army (much to the disappointment of my superiors), I have come to the profound realization that the military exists only for those who truly wish to serve that institution. Be a soldier, a marine, a seaman or an airman, but only do it because you want to serve the military. Do it only because you accept the idea that you are not as important as the idea of serving your country.

For those who join because they want military health benefits, money for school, or a hefty signing bonus, I can only say you're in for a rude awakening. When you sign that contract, you agree that your life is less important than those of the millions of Americans you have sworn to protect. You agree that, if need be, you will die to protect the ideal that is the basis for our country. There is no such thing as entitlement. There is only sacrifice and reward.

All that said . . . .

There's a man who used to work in my restaurant. We'll calm him B. He's a marine. He was a captain with his own commission serving in the most battle-ready reserve unit among the Marine Recons. He served two tours in Iraq before, about eight months ago, his unit was called in for duty in Afghanistan.

Knowing what I know, I didn't try to contact him beyond sending a birthday card. I later found out that he got it about three weeks late. Still, he appreciated the gesture.

Out of the blue, he comes back into the restaurant around four weeks ago. I see him talking with my GM and approach with a smile. "Welcome back, captain," I said. He gave me his usual crushing grip handshake. The strange expression on his face didn't register until after he'd left, but the impression I got was that he was forcing his smile.

Last week, he popped in again. Dressed in a chef's coat. He was picking up some stuff from our restaurant needed by the one in which he was now working. That surprised me. I didn't know he had gone to a different store. No one had told me, least of all, he.

I asked him how he's been. He quite casually revealed he had been busted down to sergeant. E-6.

That surprised me, but only for a moment. B. had always struck me as the sort of guy who thought he was too big for his britches. Apparently, I ahd been right.

"What happened?"

He shrugged, as casually as you might think of a man telling me a few lightbulbs in the restaurant's track lighting had gone out. "Too many civilian casualties."

I couldn't say anything. I was struck absolutely dumb. It suddenly dawned on me that B. was the kind of military man I used to investigate. He was the kind of narrow-minded, excuse-driven "jar-head" that most of the modern world despises because of his callousness. In that instant, B. reminded me of why I left the military over thirteen years ago.

I made a few calls, asked a few old friends if they could looks some things up for me. Turns out my "friend" B. had lost almost half his squad and was allegedly involved in the death of over twenty civilian casualties. Victims of "misdirected fire."

And there he was, only a few months after the events in question, practically joking about what had happened.

It made me sick.

I'm proud to have been a soldier. I love the institution based upon its principles, not necessarily upon its practices. I consider myself a patriot, in that I would fight and die for the institution upon which my country was founded. It was that belief which allowed me to do what I had done in the first half of the 1990s.

But when I think about the flippant way in which B. dismissed his actions, I wonder now if what I served had any relation at all with the ideal I believed in.
 
Wow! What a post!

I did eight years active, four as a sailor, four as a flyboy, I say that to qualify that I understand your post and perhaps why you made it.

I do not understand the precise point you wanted to make, but that may be my problem and not your writing.

Not knowing exactly makes it difficult, so I will just deal with one part of what I think you said.

From what I know, civilian casualties have always been a part of every conflict ever fought.

For me to continue with this, I must assume that you accept that as fact, as a truth, civilian casualties are unavoidable.

The psychology of Americans is that every human life has value, friend or foe and certainly innocent civilian lives.

Thus, an immediate moral conflict even as early as boot camp, as we were all trained how to kill. Military service overcomes that with an Oath to serve and carry out orders, but of course, not all can accept the full meaning until they are called upon to exercise what they have learned.

The word, 'Patriotism' came into my mind and I scrolled back and indeed, it is part of your title.

It also creates a dilemma as all military men who serve their country, whatever country they may claim, serve different masters.


I went back and re-read the last part of your post and got a glimmer, I think of what you mean.

I just watched, for the umpteenth time, "Contact" with Jody Foster; she had a line in response to a person who said, "The world is not as I imagined it to be, justice is not always served." (more of a paraphrase than a quote) Foster's reply was, again a paraphrase, "I always thought the world what what we made it by our actions."

Your callous and flippant Mr. B, may well be one of those, 'narrow minded' types you refer to, then again, he may not be.

I watch a lot of military oriented films and series; among them, JAG, NCI, films like Courage Under Fire, Eastwood's thing, "Heartbreak Ridge, and literally hundreds more including about every decent WW2 film ever made.

Your Mr. B. would would not be the first of his kind to appear in fiction and sometimes, I suggest, circumstances invite a departure from the ROERules of Engagement) of any situation.

If I may offer this from both subjective, anecdotal experience and from just pure objective thought and observation. Yes, what you served was and is an honorable effort and yes, the ideal you served remains an honorable duty.

I have also watched a great many, some real, some recreated, incidents in Iraq involving close quarter, street by street, block by block warfare and I know, without a doubt I want no part of that.

I received an Honorable Discharge, you did also. And that means exactly what it says.

Amicus...
 
I never served, I'm ashamed to say. It seems quite hypocritical of me considering how much I value the nation I live in.

On the other hand, if I had served I would have ended up like Vincent D'Onofrio's character in Full Metal Jacket, sitting on a toilet with an M14 in my mouth and my brains decorating the wall behind me. I barely survived the rather mild conformism of the civilian world. The strict and bloodily enforced conformism of the armed forces would be far beyond my ability to handle.

Patriotism, in my opinion, should be like any other ethical idea. It can be used in one of two ways. It can be a guideline for your actions, or it can used as an excuse for your actions. The former is what patriotism really is. The latter is how most human beings use it.
 
Kenneth Roberts wrote a wonderful novel about the American Revolution called OLIVER WISWELL. The book damns the Patriots as a mob of toothless drunken yahoos. And I fear the book is accurate.

Roberts was no anti-American, milk & water sissy. Most of his books are Yankee-Doodle Dandies, but OW explores the dark side of the Revolution. There's always a dark side.

During the Civil War Union cavalry murdered slaves along with cows and hogs and chickens...said the slaves were 'livestock' like the rest. Confederate cavalry did the same with black prisoners. Gave them bloody neck-ties.

I believe there are 2 sides to America. One side is populated with decent, friendly people, wanting nothing more than to transit life in peace, keeping a fair share of what they produce by their efforts. Their acts of heroism are largely fortuitous and spontaneous...when the chips are down, they do the right thing.

The other side are the toothless sociopaths who perceive every person and event as something to exploit for personal gain. They always look like theyre measuring you for a noose. They con you with every bait, to get your money.
 
The military is made up of people with the same flaws as the rest of us. Joining the military doesn't magically make someone a better person. A fuck up with a personality disorder can have that driven out of him, or her, or become a well-trained fuck up with a personality disorder and access to weapons.

As far as patriotism and what it means, there are a LOT of people who don't understand that. It is usually mistaken for blind loyalty and waving a flag. Rooting for your own nation in the Olympics. Small bursts of fervent displays rather than a lifetime of dedication to an ideal. That kind of thing.
 
BOOTA

I cant agree with you entirely because there are people out there who fall on their swords for others and for the welfare of the nation. Theyre rare birds, but they do exist.
 
BOOTA

I cant agree with you entirely because there are people out there who fall on their swords for others and for the welfare of the nation. Theyre rare birds, but they do exist.

They absolutely do exist. No question. But the romantic notion is that the majority of people who join the military are that form of rare bird. Not everyone is as idealistic.
 
Thank you, slyc.

What you've explained is exactly why, when the point came up, I said that I don't "owe respect" to someone simply because they've served in the military.
 
Thank you.

I'm patriotic, but not blindly.

Being in the military DOES things to people. High pressure can create diamonds or crush someone into coal dust.

I'm a proud parent as well, but parenthood has some things in common with military service.

You do not know until you try, and like parenthood, military service cannot be shrugged off at will. It's like going on a sea voyage to discover you're deathly seasick once there. What to do other than suffer?

Those who try the difficult things for good reasons and end up with nothing but bad consequences receive my admiration for their effort and my attempt at forgiveness as I know I can't imagine the forces they endured and the choices they had to make.

The callousness of those who are deep in a field is seen in doctors who make jokes during surgery. So easy to judge externally. So easy to miss that jokes and callousness and dismissal are often the only ways people have to deal with pressure and still do their job, still function in the pressure.

Many people feign disinterest because they have to deal with it in their nightmares and don't wish to reveal how much it affects them. And military training teaches you to hide weakness. Anyone trained to kill does not wish to bleed into the water and draw sharks.

I'm not assigning more character than this person has. I'm just comparing it to other character traits, even some of my own.

Yeah, there are still unmitigated douches and power hungry people who love pain and power and drug running and arms dealing. But I try to find the stress fractures still. I want to know why. A price has been paid by those who are trained to deal death and make sacrifices to protect those who can't protect themselves. Each of these people began as a child, someone who couldn't protect themselves. Some became far too armored and too rapacious and that's what causes war and sustains war.

My patriotism is for the ideals and the reals. I try to see with clear eyes and a clear heart. There are times when my eyes cloud and my heart darkens. Human character. I can be brought to want to hate and strike without remorse. Fortunately it is not my business and I can go have a slice of cake and a bubble bath as war is far away and I have that choice.
 

slyc,
I am humbled into near silence by your post and bow in your direction.

Well done. Well said.

 
Most people I've know who have been in the UK's armed forces joined because of World War 2 or National Service afterwards. They were conscripts, not people seeking a career in the military.

They had a job to do. They might not have liked it but they had to fight to defend their country and the democratic freedoms we possess.

Combat changed many of them but very few were callous or uncaring. One of my father's friends was court-martialled for his actions after his prison camp was liberated in Burma. He took a Japanese officer's sword and beheaded several of the most sadistic guards. He was convicted but given a light sentence of a reprimand and a temporary reduction in rank for actions "when not in full possession of his senses". He had seen dozens of his friends worked, starved, kicked and beaten to death by those guards. He regretted what he had done because the war was just over, but admitted that had he been in the same situation again - he'd still have beheaded those guards.

Some people were haunted by their actions in wartime. They had killed civilians by bombing, by artillery fire, by shooting at anything that moved when fire was incoming... but it was kill or be killed. They could still regret every life that had been ended.

A few, a very few, lost all their humanity and would have killed every German and every Japanese they encountered. I think they were damaged by the war and became ticking timebombs in the civilian society they returned to.

As Edith Cavell said: "Patriotism isn't enough".

Og
 
BOOTA

Yep. You discover THAT pretty quick.

My personal bent is: No one should be in the military who isnt a rabid animal.

My son is a rabid animal. He loved guns and the idea of killing people, so he enlisted and they trained him be an assassin. He spent 8 years going to various shitholes to shoot pests. He hid in jungles and in deserts and waited for them. You couldnt want a better husband and father. Now, 20 years later, he's in military intelligence.
 
BOOTA

Yep. You discover THAT pretty quick.

My personal bent is: No one should be in the military who isnt a rabid animal.

My son is a rabid animal. He loved guns and the idea of killing people, so he enlisted and they trained him be an assassin. He spent 8 years going to various shitholes to shoot pests. He hid in jungles and in deserts and waited for them. You couldnt want a better husband and father. Now, 20 years later, he's in military intelligence.
It proves the rule, JB, that every individual finds their niche. Some jobs require a particular acumen, the military is no exception.

On the downside of military ops is the dynamism of communication - fucked up ops will see the light of day. In the distant past, fucked up ops went unreported.
I find myself torn between the two camps. Patriotism, for me, is akin to self-preservation (family, individual, nation - probably in that order). The affinity is for the 'patriotic' stance, but it has its problems. Not all patriotic acts are honourable - viz Kurdish Peoples, Ethnic Americas, Jewish Peoples, Australian Aborigines, Blacks, and not all patriotic acts will only involve the subject, 'innocent' casualties are a simply a numerical factor and inevitable. But that inevitability is also conditioned by the capabilities of the individual(s) directing the action. That can invoke a moral imperative - the type Israel often cites - that the greater good invokes injury of the innocent. Which would be great if we knew the 'greater good' was the patriotic result. All too often, I personally suspect the casualty of the 'innocent' is outweighed by political rather than patriotic considerations. There is a difference, particularly when we live in a time when elected politicians are elected by a minority of the public entitled to vote. Semantics, you cry... sure, we can easily argue those who don't vote don't deserve a say in the outcome; equally, those elected need to step back from politics and focus on Patriotism because as much as A is Patriotic in their aim, so is B, the 'enemy'.

Individuals confuse Pride with Patriotism, they are different. Pride can also be achieved by negotiating a peaceful outcome to a dispute, but no one has seen that kind of logic in living memory.
 
Thanks for your responses, everyone. I guess the whole situation with B. was bothering me more than I originally thought.

Ami, I'm sure my rambling was a bit off-putting, but you got it right in the end. And you thought you were verbose. ;)

JB, I knew there was a heart beneath the "old bastard" facade. Don't worry; we won't tell anyone.

I appreciate everyone's responses, really. I half expected to be attacked on some issue. Glad to see that what I was trying to get across was actually conveyed.

Serendipitously, today my GM asked me about B. It appears he wants to transfer back to my store. I told her I wouldn't have a problem with his work, but I couldn't respect him personally. She asked me why, and I really didn't have an answer. It's not my place to share the details of what I was told (sharing it on this forum is different, since none of you know, nor probably ever will, who B. is). She took what I said and headed back to the office. I don't know if he's coming back to the store or not. I'll have to wait and see.

Life never ceases to be interesting.
 
They absolutely do exist. No question. But the romantic notion is that the majority of people who join the military are that form of rare bird. Not everyone is as idealistic.
You shoulda seem my Nimrod nuke officer; I'm sure they deliberately pick the stupidest psycho in the squadron for this job.
 
We spent all day yesterday at Sea World. It was the little one's first exposure to marine life outside the small displays at the SA Zoo. She was, to put it mildly, dumbstruck. Her new favorite word is "dolphin." :)

It was opening day at the theme park, and I couldn't help but notice the two huge banners hanging over the entrance proclaiming "Here's to the Heroes," accompanied by the image of a soldier in desert camouflage. I didn't think much of it, considering that honoring the military is the toast du jour right now.

Anyway, after a couple of rides, a show ("Viva" is an inspiring piece of aquatic acrobatics, by the way; one of my servers performs in the show) and a couple turkey legs, we went to the "I Believe" show starring Shamu. It's set up as a story, with a young boy shown on the screen becoming fascinated by orcas before deciding to take a kayak out to meet one. Supposedly, we are to believe that the young boy grows up to be the head trainer and showman of the show to follow, in which Shamu and the other killer whales do their usual parade of splashes and titanic whale-flops.

It was fun, it really was, and while the little one was becoming restless (it was way past nap time), she was impressed with the display.

Before all the action started, however, one of the trainers came out with an introduction, providing some basic info about the whales, how they're trained, etc. Then she highlighted the "Here's to the Heroes" theme.

"I'd like to ask all military personnel, past and present, US, UK, or from any of our allied countries, to please stand so that we can thank you all properly."

I hesitated.

I never thought of my service as particularly heroic. Beyond the basic heroism of willing to fight and die for my country, my actions could only be considered heroic in the context of stopping criminals amongst my own ranks. Standing to receive praise for sending fellow soldiers to jail (or further) seemed almost hypocritical to me.

But I did. I stood up and everyone applauded (quite loudly, too -- SA is a military town in many ways). I was one of a couple hundred in a crowd of maybe two thousand. I was waiting for the moment to be over when I saw an elderly man in a wheelchair, a veteran of WWII, I figure, giving me a toothless smile and a thumb's up.

I smiled back, and kept smiling.

It felt good after all, I decided.
 
"...
It felt good after all, I decided
..."

~~~

It is good, I think, to question things now and then, well most things, never question your spouse's choice of clothing or hair style.

ahm.ah...;)

ami
 
"......"

~~~

It is good, I think, to question things now and then, well most things, never question your spouse's choice of clothing or hair style.

ahm.ah...;)

ami

A little dose of humor is always appreciated.

Besides, she always questions mine, anyway. ;)
 
Here's an anti-war (?) song from the latest Trace Adkins CD. What caught my attention was the way the songwriters were able to qualify the peace message with the line: “But I can’t come home ‘til the last shot’s fired.” They get to write an anti-war protest song but justify war at the same time.

Another bit of irony - the song ends accapella with the Army Cadet’s Choir. I thought it was corny the first time I heard it, but profoundly sad the second time. The honest eagerness of the choir is almost creepy, as if the honor of dying in battle outweighs the fact that they're losing their lives. Actually, I suppose it does in the long run, since we all die anyway.

http://www.rhapsody.com/trace-adkins/x/til-the-last-shots-fired/lyrics.html

first verse and chorus only:

‘Til the Last Shot’s Fired

I was there in the winter of '64
When we camped in the ice
at Nashville's doors
Three hundred miles our trail had led
We barely had time to bury our dead
When the Yankees charged and the colors fell
Overton hill was a living hell
When we called retreat it was almost dark
I died with a grape shot in my heart

Say a prayer for peace
For every fallen son
Set my spirit free
Let me lay down my gun
Sweet mother Mary I'm so tired
But I can't come home 'til
the last shot's fired

©’08 Rob Crosby and Doug Johnson


Doug Johnson is not your typical red stater. One of his earlier hit songs was about a recovering alcoholic. Another was a Dylan-esque thing for Martina McBride advocating for the homeless. The fact that you can find Nashville songs that challenge the redneck stereotype and question blind patriotism would suggest that stereotypes are not always accurate, or inclusive.

Anyway, I thought it was clever writing, and pertinent to this thread. I would suggest if you listen to the song clear to the end where the choir comes in, you might want to have a tissue nearby.
 
Thank you...the humor was by intention and not just flippant.

As a newspaper reporter and photographer for many a high school sporting events, I found it necessary from time to time, to keep working during the playing of the National Anthem.

Pausing before such events has become, in my opinion, one of those exercises in Patriotism that has become automatic and lost meaning and purpose, yet it is continued, even before Nascar events and such.

I know they have changed the Pledge of Allegiance, to include, 'under God', quite a few years back and that reciting it and prayers in school have all been questioned and perhaps those things need questioning, it is not for me to say.

This is perhaps just a sub theme to your OP, but with the increased diversity of American society and with the emphasis on 'minorities', be they racial, ethnic or gender, there is a risk, or perhaps it is upon us, of losing that special identity that maintains that sense of 'belonging', to this particular nation.

America is constantly changing, but then, so is the rest of the world, in many ways and very rapidly, it seems, from my perspective.

Much of the rest of the civilized, industrial world has 'caught up' to the US, in many ways and the two ocean separation that once provided a sense of security, has faded since 9/11.

This is not a thread-jack and you may part company with me here, but I am considering a thread forecasting a resistance to the direction this nation appears to be taking with a new administration and a re-thinking of just what America, as I, and many others knew, is or has become.

For some silly reason I had a flash back of an old Humphrey Bogart film, where the French Resistance, during ww2, on a Caribbean Island, shed tears at the playing of the Marsellaise ("La Marseillaise" ), yes, I had to google for the correct spelling, and I know many feel the same emotion at the playing of our National Anthem, or America the Beautiful.

Anyways...a few more thoughts for your very thoughtful and thought provoking thread.

:)

Amicus..
 
I get what you're saying, Dee.

I always get a sense of patriotism vs. personal loss (meaning loss of life, loss of innocence, loss of ideology) when I hear the Billy Joel song, "Goodnight Saigon." A group of men, drawn into a war and with their own dreams alive, nevertheless brought face-to-face with their own mortality.

"We will all go down together."

It's not an easy thing to describe, that sense of camaraderie and willingness to sacrifice. I suppose it's to be filed away under "things you have to experience before you can comment on it."

Patriotism, I feel, is just a metaphor for reaching toward the altruist or martyr in all of us.
 
Thank you...the humor was by intention and not just flippant.

As a newspaper reporter and photographer for many a high school sporting events, I found it necessary from time to time, to keep working during the playing of the National Anthem.

Pausing before such events has become, in my opinion, one of those exercises in Patriotism that has become automatic and lost meaning and purpose, yet it is continued, even before Nascar events and such.

I know they have changed the Pledge of Allegiance, to include, 'under God', quite a few years back and that reciting it and prayers in school have all been questioned and perhaps those things need questioning, it is not for me to say.

This is perhaps just a sub theme to your OP, but with the increased diversity of American society and with the emphasis on 'minorities', be they racial, ethnic or gender, there is a risk, or perhaps it is upon us, of losing that special identity that maintains that sense of 'belonging', to this particular nation.

America is constantly changing, but then, so is the rest of the world, in many ways and very rapidly, it seems, from my perspective.

Much of the rest of the civilized, industrial world has 'caught up' to the US, in many ways and the two ocean separation that once provided a sense of security, has faded since 9/11.

This is not a thread-jack and you may part company with me here, but I am considering a thread forecasting a resistance to the direction this nation appears to be taking with a new administration and a re-thinking of just what America, as I, and many others knew, is or has become.

For some silly reason I had a flash back of an old Humphrey Bogart film, where the French Resistance, during ww2, on a Caribbean Island, shed tears at the playing of the Marsellaise ("La Marseillaise" ), yes, I had to google for the correct spelling, and I know many feel the same emotion at the playing of our National Anthem, or America the Beautiful.

Anyways...a few more thoughts for your very thoughtful and thought provoking thread.

:)

Amicus..

there's a very similar scene in casablanca, though thats in morocco, and not everyone is in the resistance. I love that scene especially, because they drown out the germans and strasser gets so pissed
 
I'm getting from your post a sense of conflict between what was, and what might be, Amicus. I think I understand your mention of 'minorities' as not being intended to be racist, but rather an indication of stressing the needs of the few over those of the many. Forgive me if I am wrong.

Personally, I am at a quandary between national pride and international identity. The United States of America, while not the only influential power in the world, is at the forefront. We have generations coming of age at a time when we are beginning to think of the Earth as a global society, if only in its infancy. At what point do we, as citizens of the USA, compromise our identity to include the rest of the world? Because we will have to compromise, you know. Eventually, there will be no such thing as American thinking.

Yeah, I know. It scares me, too. But I'm also invigorated by it. That's what makes this age so exciting.
 
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