Arguments

[sxylilslut]

OK, arguments suck. How do you stop being hurt after being in a fight with your boyfriend? Is it correct to call your friends, who live overseas, in the middle of the night because you need to talk to them? How do you know if you've made a mistake in choosing your current partner? Or how do you know you wouldn't make a mistake leaving him? Relationships are hard; are they worth it?

Feel free to post any comment. I just need a distraction.

 

[satindesire]

OK, arguments suck. How do you stop being hurt after being in a fight with your boyfriend?

Time helps. Usually apologizing and getting an apology helps too. As does a good cry followed by some hugs and kisses from him.

Is it correct to call your friends, who live overseas, in the middle of the night because you need to talk to them?

Unless it was a really bad fight, like you two almost broke up, there were things thrown and broken, cops were called, anything like that...I'd say let them sleep til morning.

How do you know if you've made a mistake in choosing your current partner?

If he abuses, manipulates or hurts you in any way, then you know it's a mistake. If you love him, trust him, and it's just a fight, then it wasn't a mistake.

Or how do you know you wouldn't make a mistake leaving him? Relationships are hard; are they worth it?

Feel free to post any comment. I just need a distraction.

You won't ever know if it was a mistake breaking up. That's something that has no answer.

They are hard. Yes, they are worth it. I wouldn't trade the love I have for Mister for all the money in the world. I would literally die for him, and I know he would do the same thing for me and our baby. That's worth anything, that's worth EVERYTHING. When you are truly, passionately, deeply in love with someone who fills that void in your heart and completes you....well. I have no words for the kind of deep personal adoration and worship I have for that man. He literally is my world.

 

[sxylilslut]

Thank Satin. Sucks to be so far away from good friends that they're in a different time zone. And people I met here are just aquaintances, even those I thought were friends. I feel kinda alone, never felt this way. Might just be the Nyquil talking. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[satindesire]

Thank Satin. Sucks to be so far away from good friends that they're in a different time zone. And people I met here are just aquaintances, even those I thought were friends. I feel kinda alone, never felt this way. Might just be the Nyquil talking. Thanks for letting me vent.

You're welcome hun. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[klippert]

Relationships are hard!

OK, arguments suck. How do you stop being hurt after being in a fight with your boyfriend? Is it correct to call your friends, who live overseas, in the middle of the night because you need to talk to them? How do you know if you've made a mistake in choosing your current partner? Or how do you know you wouldn't make a mistake leaving him? Relationships are hard; are they worth it?

Feel free to post any comment. I just need a distraction.

Wait until you have children. Remember this, never argue with a idiot, those watching, don't know who the idiot is. If you can't discuss your difference civilly than you ARE with the wrong person. When you argue, and he starts dropping 'F' bombs and foul language, and yelling than he has lost all substance too his argument and is trying too yell you down. Their are a thousand books on relationships, not one of them is correct. Just remember, your partner is NOT here too make you happy, you must be happy too be with them. Arguments happen, how frequent is a sign of the future!

 

[asteele1390]

I'm sorry for your pain, I’m going thru the same thing but I already got married to this guy before I realized who I am. Now I'm dealing with this and trying to decided if I ever even loved this guy.....make sure the arguments are even important before you let each other hear hurtful words and feel tears

 

[Recidiva]

This is making me think in order to dissect some of the qualities of anger that I've had in my life.

Truth is I love conversations, even debates, but I don't care for arguments. There are a lot of things I will let slide and still account myself on the positive side of a relationship.

I don't have much faith any more in conversation doing much more than relieving some sense of helplessness. To relieve the anxiety of helplessness over a situation you share with anothe person, you need someone who is going to LISTEN. Really listen. And for that you need it to be the person you have the argument with, not someone else, unless you're seeking advice and perspective.

If you find yourself spinning your wheels and wasting your time in words and no action comes of it, it's wasted words.

What actions can you take to make a positive difference? Sometimes those actions are even to the drastic extent of being alone because alone is better than arguing.

There are very few things now that I seek advice regarding, and very few arguments that I can't have calmly. Patience and perspective are worth waiting for, and I would suggest some time spent alone to think in silence about problems, with a mind to setting goals and taking actions, is the most productive use of your time. Define some questions, some goals, get straight answers, don't get distracted by smoke and mirrors and bullshit. Don't resort to smoke, mirrors or bullshit.

Sympathy won't get you closer to a solution. Responsibility and the willingness to be responsible for the hard choices, might.

I hope it gets better for you. I'd just hope you'd spend your energy wisely, and not fritter it away on talk that goes nowhere.

Once you have asked yourself in silence what it is you want, what you'll tolerate and what you won't, the answers during any discussion are clearer and lead closer to a path that you choose for yourself and not a path you get stuck on forever because you won't take a step without the other person.

 

[subwannabe]

If you're wondering if you made a mistake in choosing your current partner then you probably have.

 

[Davetmat]

If you're wondering if you made a mistake in choosing your current partner then you probably have.

I don't mean to get off topic but this isn't true, doubts will keep you together if you can talk about them and come together and let your feelings/desires and disappointments come out freely in conversation.

You have to love someone for their faults as well as their shining traits, nobody is perfect.

Try and talk about it, and let him know how worried you feel.. it might wake him up from whatever is clouding his mind.
If you can't talk to your lover, who else is there?

Good luck

 

[sunandshadow]

One sign I've observed of having chosen the wrong guy is if you're in tears and he's still yelling because he doesn't give a crap if you're crying.

 

[asteele1390]

I don't mean to get off topic but this isn't true, doubts will keep you together if you can talk about them and come together and let your feelings/desires and disappointments come out freely in conversation.
You have to love someone for their faults as well as their shining traits, nobody is perfect.

Try and talk about it, and let him know how worried you feel.. it might wake him up from whatever is clouding his mind.
If you can't talk to your lover, who else is there?

Good luck

I totally agree, my husband and I are doing this now, it's so hard to have to face b/c we might not end up sticking together, but at least we couldn't say we didn't try with all we have

 

[mylaceratedheart]

OK, arguments suck. How do you stop being hurt after being in a fight with your boyfriend? Is it correct to call your friends, who live overseas, in the middle of the night because you need to talk to them? How do you know if you've made a mistake in choosing your current partner? Or how do you know you wouldn't make a mistake leaving him? Relationships are hard; are they worth it?

Feel free to post any comment. I just need a distraction.

I know nothing about you and your relationship but your post above suggests to me you're insecure and lack the self esteem to be confident enough to make your own choices. This could have manifested for any number of reasons and your boyfriend may be a contributory part of that pattern. To need discussion and validation from your friends even when you know it's 3am where they are suggests to me that not only do you have trouble with confrontation and decision making, you don't seem to be able to talk things out or resolve them properly with your boyfriend at the time.