Illusions

[lesbiaphrodite]

Illusions. I've been thinking about them today and about how I lost mine a little while back. Sometimes I feel that leaving off the illusions is a good thing because it forces me to be honest and clear at all times with myself and with others. On other occasions, I very much miss the luxury of having those illusions to cushion my days and help me survive the ups and downs of love and life.

When do we form illusions? Why do we form them? What do we replace them with once they are gone? Where do illusions go when they leave you?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Both Sides Now

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons evrywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on evryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As evry fairy tale comes real
Ive looked at love that way

But now its just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, dont let them know
Dont give yourself away

Ive looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
Its loves illusions I recall
I really dont know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
Ive looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living evry day

Ive looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all
Ive looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all

 

[rgraham666]

Illusions. I've been thinking about them today and about how I lost mine a little while back. Sometimes I feel that leaving off the illusions is a good thing because it forces me to be honest and clear at all times with myself and with others. On other occasions, I very much miss the luxury of having those illusions to cushion my days and help me survive the ups and downs of love and life.

When do we form illusions? Why do we form them? What do we replace them with once they are gone? Where do illusions go when they leave you?

We start forming illusions from the moment we're born.

We form them to fill in the gaps of our knowledge, to offer us control over our world and to support the way we feel.

We replace them with more illusions. Until we know everything we need illusions to complete how we view the universe.

And they go back to where they come from since they never really existed.

 

[MagicaPractica]

This depends entirely on what you are considering illusions.

We interpret events in our lives after they occur based on our perceptions.

"A negative, nihilistic version of your history is no more verifiable than an optimistic, creative one." ~ Martha Beck, Steering by Starlight

If we lean into the ring of fire when we meet it, it eventually becomes clear that difficult times serve a purpose in our lives. Or at least that has been my personal experience.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Either I never had any or I've still got them. I'm not sure which. Do my illusions differ from my reality? How would I know?

 

[MagicaPractica]

Either I never had any or I've still got them. I'm not sure which. Do my illusions differ from my reality? How would I know?

As long as you're happy, don't examine it too closely.

 

[rgraham666]

As long as you're happy, don't examine it too closely.

Just so.

I lost all mine once. It wasn't a pleasant experience.

 

[TE999]

I shed my illusions early on in life and dealt with whatever the future laid on me clearly and realistically. I'm still an incurable romantic tho. I guess that's a shade illusionary...but what the hell.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Just so.

I lost all mine once. It wasn't a pleasant experience.

I shed my illusions early on in life and dealt with whatever the future laid on me clearly and realistically. I'm still an incurable romantic tho. I guess that's a shade illusionary...but what the hell.

I think that no matter what you do, you're interpreting things. You kind of have to. A guy recently blew me off and I interpreted it as he just wasn't interested in me. Oh well, no big, shrug and move on. That would have been my interpretation but then I realized my settings on the dating site said I was "seeing someone" and interested in casual sex. Niether one being correct, I changed them. He let me know that the settings were why he'd passed me by and now we're communicating.

 

[sadangel]

Honestly, I think I grew up with very few illusions. From the start, I knew life wasn't fair. People aren't fair. People aren't perfect, and so on. I think I've looked at life fairly realistic for nearly my entire life.

I know some people who live their life within illusions. It's a sad state to see. They never really see the world for what it is. It's not necessarily a cruel world, but until they take off their rose colored glasses they will never know just what's out there. They only see one distorted side of life.

 

[sadangel]

Just so.

I lost all mine once. It wasn't a pleasant experience.

Echoing magica's sentiments:

 

[TE999]

I think that no matter what you do, you're interpreting things. You kind of have to.

That's true to a great extent. It's when your illusions cloud your judgement and the impractical seems practical; which often happens to those with a head full of dreams.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

I talk to the inner crocodile when the world gets all shimmery and bubbly.

He puts me right.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I think that no matter what you do, you're interpreting things. You kind of have to. A guy recently blew me off and I interpreted it as he just wasn't interested in me. Oh well, no big, shrug and move on. That would have been my interpretation but then I realized my settings on the dating site said I was "seeing someone" and interested in casual sex. Niether one being correct, I changed them. He let me know that the settings were why he'd passed me by and now we're communicating.

Now that's a good thing. I believe in communication, even though I often do a poor job of it, myself. In person, I mean. On paper, hey, no problem!

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

There are some truly amazing ideas coming in here, and you've given me lots of thoughts and lots of other questions.

I think I probably had way too many illusions for most of my life because I was a blessed child who had all I could want or need or even dream of. I grew up well off and never had to work for anything much. The only natural gift I had was for writing and I took that for granted until I had no alternative but to take it more seriously.

Then, of course, as these things go, I ran up against the proverbial brick wall that couldn't be navigated around and lost it all. Along with the practical losses, I had to let go of the beautiful illusions that I had about how life would always work out just fine for me and that love would always last, etc., etc.

In most ways, I'm happier today than I was before because now I know what it is like to have to work hard for every dime and I know how lucky I am to have the gifts I have and when I am loved, I value it more than I ever did. So, I guess it's a trade-off. I traded in my illusions, but now whether good or bad, I know what is real when it is real and love it for its realness.....

 

[christabelll]

There have been no illusions that haven't been shattered. Abuse survivors are the best at illusions because thats whats keeping them alive and/or relatively whole. We are best at illusions when we fall into love, or into bed. Its the waking up in the morning and washing the sheets that destroy the illusion of that perfect moment.

The biggest illusion of all is the stories we write. All the things we wanted or desired, dreamed of with roses or thorns in our sides, are revealed in the illusionary tales we create.

I think thats one of the reasons the comments are so hard to take in some categories. These people have had their illusions stripped bare and come to read to try and recreate them and when they don't recieve what their illusions demand they are vehemently angry about it. Not saying thats true in all cases... sometimes you just yank some ones chain But our stories are of spinning gossamer thoughts into a solid illusory wall where one can read the graffiti we left behind.

Sometimes its the only way to survive. Sometimes its another way to keep your head in the sand. And sometimes it mines the depths for true gold as they are stripped away, blasted clean, and become in effect our new reality.

 

[MagicaPractica]

That's true to a great extent. It's when your illusions cloud your judgement and the impractical seems practical; which often happens to those with a head full of dreams.

Ah, but the impractical does not mean the impossible. As long as you realize it's going to take a hell of a lot of work and you're willing to work for it.

But I've been thinking about this some tonight. A year ago I would have said that no man would be interested in me. I believed that, treated it as so and thus created the circumstances. I told myself I was only being realistic. I realized that wasn't working for me and decided to change my thinking to what I wanted instead of what I believed to be true. I met several very nice men, and now I know that negative belief was the illusion. A year ago I believed it fully though. So, which is the illusion and which is the reality? I think you get to decide.

There are some truly amazing ideas coming in here, and you've given me lots of thoughts and lots of other questions.

I think I probably had way too many illusions for most of my life because I was a blessed child who had all I could want or need or even dream of. I grew up well off and never had to work for anything much. The only natural gift I had was for writing and I took that for granted until I had no alternative but to take it more seriously.

Then, of course, as these things go, I ran up against the proverbial brick wall that couldn't be navigated around and lost it all. Along with the practical losses, I had to let go of the beautiful illusions that I had about how life would always work out just fine for me and that love would always last, etc., etc.

In most ways, I'm happier today than I was before because now I know what it is like to have to work hard for every dime and I know how lucky I am to have the gifts I have and when I am loved, I value it more than I ever did. So, I guess it's a trade-off. I traded in my illusions, but now whether good or bad, I know what is real when it is real and love it for its realness.....

I guess I'm coming at it from a different direction. I've believed for a long time that love doesn't fix everything. That it simply exists, independent of good circumstances and timing. The things we have to work for are the best ones.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Its safe to say we divide our time 3 ways: 1/3 we spend asleep, 1/3 we spend putting up with crap we dont like, and 1/3 we spend trying to trade one bad bargain for another.

 

[tickledkitty]

There are some truly amazing ideas coming in here, and you've given me lots of thoughts and lots of other questions.

I think I probably had way too many illusions for most of my life because I was a blessed child who had all I could want or need or even dream of. I grew up well off and never had to work for anything much. The only natural gift I had was for writing and I took that for granted until I had no alternative but to take it more seriously.

Then, of course, as these things go, I ran up against the proverbial brick wall that couldn't be navigated around and lost it all. Along with the practical losses, I had to let go of the beautiful illusions that I had about how life would always work out just fine for me and that love would always last, etc., etc.

In most ways, I'm happier today than I was before because now I know what it is like to have to work hard for every dime and I know how lucky I am to have the gifts I have and when I am loved, I value it more than I ever did. So, I guess it's a trade-off. I traded in my illusions, but now whether good or bad, I know what is real when it is real and love it for its realness.....

I think that's just growing up, chere.

 

[impressive]

I lost mine a while ago. I seriously want them back. Ignorance might not be bliss, but at least it doesn't hurt.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

What you believe is a lot more important than whats real. Because what you believe makes you act different than you would if you knew the truth. Truths change.

 

[neonlyte]

Illusion is a screen. It both protects and distorts the 'real'... whatever that is.

No two people ever see the same scene, hear the same sound, etc... we can only perceive and interpret, paint a canvas, if you will, that fits within the boundaries of our experience. Illusion expands the boundaries for the good or for bad depending upon an individuals reaction to events. The bad tends to be controlled by drugs, no one recognises good illusions as harmful. Society smiles on optimism and fears pessimism / depression inherently because, as a species, we believe tomorrow will be better than today and instinct drives us to make it so.

Live with your illusions, the good and the bad, but don't assume they are real. Illusion, like reflection, is the image you project of yourself.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Illusion is a screen. It both protects and distorts the 'real'... whatever that is.

No two people ever see the same scene, hear the same sound, etc... we can only perceive and interpret, paint a canvas, if you will, that fits within the boundaries of our experience. Illusion expands the boundaries for the good or for bad depending upon an individuals reaction to events. The bad tends to be controlled by drugs, no one recognises good illusions as harmful. Society smiles on optimism and fears pessimism / depression inherently because, as a species, we believe tomorrow will be better than today and instinct drives us to make it so.

Live with your illusions, the good and the bad, but don't assume they are real. Illusion, like reflection, is the image you project of yourself.

Nicely said. I really like the last bit.

What you believe is a lot more important than whats real. Because what you believe makes you act different than you would if you knew the truth. Truths change.

Very sage point, JBJ. It's all very relative, I guess.

I lost mine a while ago. I seriously want them back.

Amen, sister.

I think that's just growing up, chere.

So true. Though painful to admit, sweetsie.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

I guess I'm coming at it from a different direction. I've believed for a long time that love doesn't fix everything. That it simply exists, independent of good circumstances and timing. The things we have to work for are the best ones.

Yes. I see what you mean. That one about love fixing everything is hard to let go of....

 

[MagicaPractica]

Yes. I see what you mean. That one about love fixing everything is hard to let go of....

No, but once you accept that and realize it just means you have to work a little harder for a relationship, it's no big. The hard part is when you're in a relationship and you're willing to work for it, but the other person isn't. That's a really tough one to let go of and move on.