what did you hate about your ex?

[ivantheterrible]

since the other thread about what did you love abouit your ex was a success, here's another. the hate factor.

what i hated about her. she only bathed once a week, unless AFTER her sex drive finally kicked in after 14 years and she knew i would not lick her or fuck her unless she washed.
she only brushed her teeth once a week. until very recently.
she dressed and acted and was never feminine until she wanted to fuck.
she is unorganized and absolutely filthy. never wanted to clean. still doesn't.
wanted me to work a job , chop and cut firewood, cut grass , take care of home and kids, clean, do home renovations, till-plant-and care for 1/4 of an acre of garden. hunt, fish, and prepare the product , while she only worked and sat on her ass in front of computer or a book. and she is a packrat.
i know , why did i stay with her? i don't know why other than the co-dependency thing. go figure.

 

[myinnerslut]

he was a manipulative, emotionally and physically abusive ass that made me fell as if nobody else would want me, i was always bad, and i was not worth keeping. he is the cause for my PTSD, my nightmares, and the unreasonable fears that still haunt me.

and i am pretty sure he was cheating on me.

 

[Bandit58]

he was a manipulative, emotionally and physically abusive ass that made me fell as if nobody else would want me, i was always bad, and i was not worth keeping. he is the cause for my PTSD, my nightmares, and the unreasonable fears that still haunt me.

and i am pretty sure he was cheating on me.

My ex husband was also manipulative and emotionally abusive although he never physically hit me. Like mis I had nightmares (although they have become rare nowadays). My self esteem still needs work - Sir said to me the other day that I am still "fragile", even after five years in a caring loving relationship.

 

[kittenartist]

Oh Ivan I think I was married to the same person!

He showered once a week if I was lucky. I refused to have sexual contact unless he showered. So when he showered he expected me to jump right on him... and when I did not I was an anti-sex mean ol' prude. And then the showers would stop for awhile.

He was/is extremely passive aggressive.

He never ever owned his actions and blamed everyone else for his troubles.

He had one chore in our home and he complained every single time he had to do it... And often just "forgot".

He never cared about his appearance.

He... encouraged... me to be helpless. To the point of isolation.

He repeatedly told me I had no friends. And said the friends I did have did not really like me and/or I was only friends with them for sex.

And, maybe the worst part, he left me with nothing to add to the "what you love about your ex" thread. Of course, maybe I am just not trying hard enough...

 

[myinnerslut]

And, maybe the worst part, he left me with nothing to add to the "what you love about your ex" thread. Of course, maybe I am just not trying hard enough...

i dont have anything to put there either

 

[ivantheterrible]

i do have one reconsiliation. no matter who wants to be with her, he has to keep in mind i made her. he has to be willing to be dominant, tie her up, take control, guide her, and make her be a sexual being because she won't do it herself. and willing to lick his cum out of her snatch , or off her body for being a good little slut. or she won't be satisfied. ever.

now that made me smile.

 

[minx1]

One of them:

He frightened me. He was violent and physically and emotionally abusive.
He would throw knives at me, hit me and have me cowering, shaking with fear on the floor in a corner.
The last thing he did left me needing hospital treatment and the police involved.
He stalked me; would wait outside my house and follow me to work, Try and get to me in work. He would send letters telling me what he would do to me if he caught up with me and send funeral directors to the house.
He told me I was ugly and fat and that noone would ever want me.

I hate that I had to leave him in the middle of the night and leave all my belongings just to get away from him.

These are the things I am willing to say out loud. There's more, but you get the gist anyway.

Another:

He was manipulative and emotionally abusive. He had countless affairs, but it wasn't that so much....I mean thats life in a way; people fall in and out of love. It was the other things he did, not least the way he treated me when I discovered them.

He would also disappear for hours on end. I don't mean 2 or 3, hell I don't even mean 7 or 8....I mean hours bordering on days. During that time there would be no contact. I would be out of my mind with worry and confusion and would call his mobile and he would never answer or cut me off....i guess because he was with someone else at the time.
He would leave me sitting up til 4 or 5am distraught wondering if he was coming home or if he had had an accident somewhere. Crying and wondering if I had done something wrong. Sometimes I drove the streets in the early hours of the morning just looking incase he had been beaten up. *blush*
Mostly he would just not answer the phone. On the occassions he did it was accidently, when he was trying to turn it off and hit answer intead....leaving me to hear snippets of conversation with different women.

He kept all the jars in the cupboards in order of food type and all lined up. (Like theguy in sleeping with the enemy!)

He tried to make me think I was mad and losing the plot for suspecting he was playing around. Encouraging me to go on medication

Oh and he kept years supplies of newspapers around the house that he hadn't got round to reading.

He was the most selfish lover I have ever had.

I hate that things that happened still affect me and how I react.

 

[Chiisai_Neko]

I will do my most recent, because he's really the only one that there is anything I absolutely hate about him.
-He was too young for me (only two years younger than I was, but when the ages are 18 and 16, it makes a world of difference).
-He did drugs.
-He partied too much (I am not a party girl; I am a "let's stay in and make our own party" girl). He was immature (probably the age thing, again).
-He wasn't very attractive.
-He got aggravated and distant when I refused to give him my virginity because he was a druggie.
-He treated his wonderful mother like dirt.
-He threatened to shave my head if I ever wore a hair style he didn't like.

Things I learned from that relationship: As his mother told me, "Men aren't worth dating until they're at least twenty-five. Wait a couple of years and you'll find a guy you really belong with." She was right.

And, the not-really ex whom I never actually dated:
-Much like the original poster's lady friend, he never bathed unless he absolutely had to (one of his girlfriends literally had to hold him down in a tub of water and scrub the filth from his hair).
-He used me for whatever he could get out of me at the time.
-He made me feel like shit whenever I wouldn't drop my life to come to one of his concerts.
-He acted so sweet and friendly and affectionate to me when it was just the two of us, but then turned around and told all his friends I was a poser bitch and he wished I would go away.

 

[iluvyou3638]

i hate that he made me distrust everyone with all his lying
i hate that he lied in the first place
i hate that he didn't call me on Christmas
i hate how pathetic he sounded when i told him it was over.

 

[sexygoth87]

He hardly ever washed
Never brushed his teeth
Was a complete uncareing bastard not that i realised til it was a little too late really
and to put it simply wish i had never met the damn guy

 

[ted_cinti]

I share a house with my x.........She's a great person. Only thing I don't like is her nit
picking about my personal habits. eg. There are a few drop of water on the floor after
I shave....ect...ect...

 

[TrueFox]

he left me with nothing to add to the "what you love about your ex" thread.

same here. This is a different ex from my "what you loved about your ex" post, obviously...

-He was emotionally abusive, although he never called me names or hit me (sometimes I wish he had, because then I would have known why I felt so SHITTY all the time)
-A month after our 1.5 year relationship ended, I found out he had sexually assaulted his ex the day before before we started dating.
-He was notorious for hitting on other girls at fraternity functions, but I never knew.
-He continually complained about how "inconvenient" my vegetarianism was, when he was one of the pickiest eaters I've ever met in my life.
-He would get angry about stupid things, like that he had hit his head on a car door, or that he hadn't done his laundry and it was late and he couldn't go to bed until it was done, and would yell at me for not consoling him properly...there were 2 choices, either to touch him or not touch him, and somehow I always picked the wrong one.
-He insulted anyone who I wanted to be friends with, other than him. If I met a new group of people who seemed friendly, he would tell me they were friendly because they were "less intelligent".
-If I had ANY free time and I wasn't at his apartment he would keep calling and calling me asking me when I was going to come over, and would whine that I hadn't gotten there fast enough.
-He insulted my chosen field of study (social work), saying it fundamentally doesn't make any sense and that he has no respect for people who do my job.
-He treated my virginity like it was negative, and didn't even thank me for giving it up.
-He would complain so much when I didn't want sex that I would have sex with him just to shut him up and then he would stop and complain that I wasn't enjoying it.
-He never told me that he loved me, or that I was beautiful. Not once. After we broke up, he told me that he hadn't ever been in love with me nor did he think I had been looking for "that kind of relationship". One without love??? I now know that I didn't love him, I was just being controlled by him, but at least I thought that I loved him...
-I used to have flashbacks. But now I'm always waiting to have a guy freak out on me for doing something wrong. Sometimes he makes me hate myself for putting up with it for so long and just wasting my time. I think that's the worst part.

/whew. I feel better somehow.

 

[sinnocence]

When I moved away, we kept up a long distance relationship with visits of course. But he ended up getting engaged behind my back and having a kid.

he would tell me I was stupid when I would cry.

he hit me. Enough said.

he would get EXTREMELY PISSED when he couldn't make me cum when he was fucking me and blame it on me, then proceed to accuse me of having sex with his brother behind his back.

he was VERY controlling, possessive, and jealous to the point where he would FREAK if I even looked at another guy. But he would go out, come back, and brag about this girl he danced with at a club.

he would say that I said "I love you" too much.

he took my virginity which is a big thing I regret.

I hate how he made me have issues with starting a new relationship. Like trusting someone.

he gave me nothing to put in the "What you loved about your ex" thread either.

 

[Netzach]

One thing only. He's as biologically bound and determined a vanilla, or maybe another top (I don't really go asking) as I am. Stalemate.

That and his willingness to make me out as the oversexed freak because I was interested in things he wasn't and going slowly insane. But I wasn't exactly a peach at that point.

 

[FurryFury]

The thing I hate most was how much he hurt our child.

What he did to me, that was with an adult. I was stupid to let him but that's nothing in comparison.

He was a toxic, evil person and I loved him anyway. Doh!

 

[satindesire]

I think he had NPD.

He was OCD about the house to the point where if our cat went to the bathroom in the middle of the night (while I was sleeping) and he came home and saw that one little nugget of poo or pee in the litter box, he would literally yell me out of bed to clean it. Like he expected me to sleep by the litter box or something just in case she went to the bathroom while he was at work.

He would get mad at me over the stupidest shit I have ever known. A perfect example: He comes home from work, lays down in bed and starts playing WoW on the laptop. He falls asleep playing WoW with the laptop on his chest. I didn't want the laptop to burn him so I closed it and placed it to the side, covered him up and laid down. As I was adjusting my pillow to go back to sleep he wakes up and screams at me because he 'wasn't done playing'. HE FELL ASLEEP. I think that's done playing.

I was 5'10 and weighed about 135 pounds (In size six-seven pants) but according to him I was overweight and needed to eat less.

He never let me keep groceries in the house. He would get mad if he saw I made some kind of snack food like cookies. I had to use my own money for all groceries, he never ONCE bought food with his own money.

He was so controlling that he only let me work where he wanted me to work, wear what he wanted me to wear and do what he wanted me to do. I had no friends, for most of our relationship he did not allow me to have a job or go to college. He complained when I had no money. Then he said he wouldn't marry me because I had no education.

He would shake me, threaten me, slap me and I would have to wear long sleeve shirts and heavy concealer to cover up my bruises. He was so emotionally and physically abusive that I often don't remember huge patches of our relationship.

He cheated on me pretty regularly.

He was completely addicted to porn, in a really terrible way. By the time we broke up, he was looking at porn daily, for hours sometimes, and we were barely speaking or sleeping together. When we did try to sleep together, he had to watch porn just to maintain his erection.

When he raped me and beat me, I was bleeding internally and he wouldn't take me to the hospital or let me call an ambulance even though I was in so much pain I couldn't even sit up. When I passed out from blood loss, he finally drove me to the ER himself. They had to do emergency surgery. I almost died. I was in the hospital for a week, and he visited me twice, both times for less than half an hour.

When I broke up with him, he stalked me and stole my car, leaving me with no way to get to work, I had to quit my job. He harassed my boss and my parents. He got into my email and myspace because I had naively trusted him with the passwords and sent out a ton of emails to strange men claiming to be me, sending them naked pictures of me and claiming that I would sleep with them. I was harassed for weeks until I found out what he had done. He changed my myspace page to claim I was a swinger into sleeping with men for money. He posted my personal pictures there, thank God my friends on another website saw what he was doing and had Tom shut the page down.

When I got together with Mister, he came to our cabin and tried to break in, threatening to kill us. He only left after he saw me on the phone with the police.

A few days after that, we packed up everything we owned in the back of our Thunderbird and moved across the country to get away from him.

After all that he did to me and my family, when we went to court he was given a NOT GUILTY for reason of temporary insanity.

That's when I realized our justice system was completely fucked, and I have never trusted it since.

 

[EmpressFi]

I hate that he never told me about his severe bi-polar disorder and suicidal tendencies, and the real reason he was discharged from the Navy before I married him.
I hate that he used withdrawl of affection as punishment for whatever he deemed were my wrong doings
I hate that if I tried to initiate sex he would slap my hand away
I hate that he raped me.
I hate that he told my brothers that I was a whore and I left him when it was his abuse that made me leave.

 

[sub_versive]

Mine was a raving lunatic, who frequently had a go at causing me serious injury. Once i had the rather dubious pleasure I watching her run at me with a 10lb broadsword.

Most of all in a world where you try to bend for people she was the one who hated most the person they made me into.

But i'm not bitter at all. XXX

 

[marieR19]

Wow. *has urge to HUG everyone!!*

None of my exes have been abusive in any way, but I definitely have a list:

Most recent ex:
First and foremost to hate, she left me because she had to "make" herself "be straight", despite admitting to still loving me. Why? In her words, "for God". *BANGS head on table!!*
The last time I saw her, we ended up having sex a few times even though we were broken up by that point; Beforehand she swore up and down that she wanted it and wouldn't regret it. Of course she regreted it, and wouldn't touch me at all after.
I know there are other things, but I can't think. lol

Ex before her:
Only thing I truly *hate* about her was what she did after we broke up. We maintained a shaky friendship for a few months, and still talked sexual to each other at times.... she would constantly drunk-dial me in the middle of the night, saying how much she wanted to have sex with me and wanted me back. The next day she would always tell me to forget about it, that she didn't mean it.



Heather

 

[satindesire]

Wow. *has urge to HUG everyone!!*

None of my exes have been abusive in any way, but I definitely have a list:

Most recent ex:
First and foremost to hate, she left me because she had to "make" herself "be straight", despite admitting to still loving me. Why? In her words, "for God". *BANGS head on table!!*
The last time I saw her, we ended up having sex a few times even though we were broken up by that point; Beforehand she swore up and down that she wanted it and wouldn't regret it. Of course she regreted it, and wouldn't touch me at all after.
I know there are other things, but I can't think. lol

Ex before her:
Only thing I truly *hate* about her was what she did after we broke up. We maintained a shaky friendship for a few months, and still talked sexual to each other at times.... she would constantly drunk-dial me in the middle of the night, saying how much she wanted to have sex with me and wanted me back. The next day she would always tell me to forget about it, that she didn't mean it.



Heather

That's why I stopped dating women. *hugs her compassionately!*

 

[thighhiman]

Will since I posted the best now I will vent some.

She was a BITCH .If she wasn't happy no one was,and she was never happy.Now it takes two but since I got my life back I don't get into fights with my new wife.We haven't had a fight in the 6 years together.She was also lazy and a slob and would never do anything I wanted to do .I put up with a lot of abusive crap for to long. It worked out ok .My life is now perfect and she is still the same unhappy person she was and always will be. Some things change some don't.

 

[hotMarie]

I know the one

he was a manipulative, emotionally and physically abusive ass that made me fell as if nobody else would want me, i was always bad, and i was not worth keeping. he is the cause for my PTSD, my nightmares, and the unreasonable fears that still haunt me.

and i am pretty sure he was cheating on me.

You must have been married to my ex husband....because there is no way in hell god put two men on this earth who were so evil!

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Nothng...

I'm not capable of feeling hate.

I did dislike many things about my ex but seeing life is about compromise and growth I accepted Him unconditionally.

 

[ivantheterrible]

oh, and her arrogance, egotistical way. she to this day would never apologize, or admit that she had a hand in why our marriage fell apart.
but i have apologized and admitted my fault in it. over and over again.
she would rather eat 2 pounds of cat shit than ever admit or apologize about and to her part in it all.

 

[MisterSir]

She was a cold, aloof and manipulative bitch who didn't appear to have any shame about cheating on me. That sounds about right for a start.