Possible she can't remember a thing?

[literal]

I was on a business trip very recently along with 3 other coworkers. On ocassions like this we make sure to have a good time (1 night of drinking and fancy dining) sponsored by company. This time we all had a great dinner and then went to the hotel bar for more cocktails. Everyone had a great night and decided to meet in one of our rooms for more drinks. The other 2 called later when they got to their rooms that they wont be able to make it and that they were going to bed. So it was just 2 of us. She and I are both under 30 and married (not to each other) and very friendly at work. It was kind of a bummer that the rest of our crew didnt show up but we both decided to open the bottle of rumple minze.
After one we started talking all office stories and friends and other things i dont remember. Now well in to the second it was pretty intense and i clearly couldnt stand. I stretched on the couch when she returned from the bathroom and also very shaky and sat right next to me. Then it ended up us holding each others hands. when she lost balance and fell on my shoulder we started kissing. after a minute our hands were exploring each other and she is rubbing my erect cock thru my jean and i remember squeezing her ass with one and not less than 36c with other. A little later before we went any further she said "we should go to bed inorder to catch the morning flight".i replied "yeah" and then she left .
Now comes the question part. The next day to until now(2 weeks) she always claimed to have not remmebered a thing and acts like nothing happenned. I sure didnt ask about this but I cannot belive that she cant remember a thing either. There are some awkward moments when we are alone but we never talk about that night in detail. When we do chat about it with other friends around she tells them that she left my room after 1 drink. Is it possible to not remmeber that level of detail? anybody had any experience being blanked out to this level the next morning?

 

[QSco]

Complete black-out? Nah, but I have had some spotty moments... and by moments I mean I've done things that I needed some refreshing to remember, sometimes spanning half an hour. Then again, I've also told the lie that I don't remember a thing.....

 

[literal]

thats exactly what i thought..i might not remember every word but i dont blank out on a chapter

 

[moldenke]

I doubt she's actually forgotten it--but you said yourself, you're both married. It's probably best if you both 'forget' about it just like she did.

 

[QSco]

I doubt she's actually forgotten it--but you said yourself, you're both married. It's probably best if you both 'forget' about it just like she did.

very good point...

 

[literal]

I doubt she's actually forgotten it--but you said yourself, you're both married. It's probably best if you both 'forget' about it just like she did.

You are right that its best for us but we always dont do the right thing..especially when those felt really nice in my hands. I still cum thinking of her touching my hardness everyday(almost)

 

[literal]

OK. is there anything i could do and hint in asubtle way that i remember all of it and want more?

 

[QSco]

You could always just ask her out for a drink... if she remembers what happened last time you drank together, and even if she doesn't completely remember, she might have an idea...... see where it leads

 

[Jonny G]

she will remember every detail, and she would have enjoyed every second of the attention you gave her.

then the guilt kicks in. and everything is denied , and it was all your fault !

 

[literal]

yeah i wish that works, minus the guilt factor.lol

 

[Intoxicate_Me]

OK. is there anything i could do and hint in asubtle way that i remember all of it and want more?

No you shouldn't in my opinion. She probably remembers, but got home and realized that it was a mistake. She does don't want it to happen again or she would talk to you about it.
If it were me I would cut my losses and go back to normal, she will probably come back around to being friendly when she can relax.

 

[Intoxicate_Me]

By the way if your looking for just a extra marital affair, there are probably willing participants elsewhere. And if your feelings for her are genuine and not sexual, then you will respect that she either has forgot or she doesn't want to go there again. She could also have respect for your wife which makes it hard to go there.

On another point maybe she does want to go there again, but knows right from wrong that the alcohol inhibited. In any way don't pressure her. Of course this is just my opinion.

 

[Eilan]

Why is this posted twice? Extra validation?

 

[ZoeBird]

What, were you displeased with the answers in the first thread, so you posted it again hoping for validation instead? She doesn't want you. End of story. You really need to get over it.

 

[literal]

Thanks for the replies. Sorry i posted twice by mistake when my screen had me auto logout for no activity while typing a long post. I thought it didnt go through and posted again on another.
OK i agree and feel the same like most of you do but also, she is only denying remembering anything publicly but whenever we are alone her body language says "i know what i did and im cool with it". I know this because there was alot of mentioning of the stuff she is going through at home and she might end up seperating soon. I'm not on the same boat as her and i have less feelings for her than she does for me. But i also am not sure i wont do her if she wants to.

 

[ZoeBird]

No offense, literal, but I don't know if you should trust your ability to read a woman's "body language". If you simply MUST know, then just come out and ask her.

 

[Jack_Samuel]

mate i think you had a close call.

If you want to stay married then just be glad this is the way she wants to play it and follow her lead

 

[DrHappy]

...OK i agree and feel the same like most of you do but also, she is only denying remembering anything publicly but...

This stood out to me like a sore thumb. Who is #$#%! is talking publicly with coworkers about almost cheating on their spouses? That would be career suicide in many places. I think that she would be very stupid to admit to her coworkers that anything almost happened. Rumors tend to spread.... confirmed rumors never die.

Let it go. What's wrong with your marriage that you are okay with cheating and possibly wrecking it.

 

[SweetErika]

This stood out to me like a sore thumb. Who is #$#%! is talking publicly with coworkers about almost cheating on their spouses? That would be career suicide in many places. I think that she would be very stupid to admit to her coworkers that anything almost happened. Rumors tend to spread.... confirmed rumors never die.

That's not how I interpreted it. I thought he meant the coworkers asked what the two of them did after they retired for the night and she said they went to his room, had one drink (vs. the two they actually had), talked and then she went back to her room to get some sleep before the early flight.

I doubt she mentioned anything about the fooling around or being plastered. Like you said, that'd be totally dumb, and she doesn't sound that stupid to me since she obviously had the presence of mind to gloss over how drunk she was, what really happened and avoid bringing it up with Literal.

 

[done_got_old]

This stood out to me like a sore thumb. Who is #$#%! is talking publicly with coworkers about almost cheating on their spouses? That would be career suicide in many places. I think that she would be very stupid to admit to her coworkers that anything almost happened. Rumors tend to spread.... confirmed rumors never die.

Let it go. What's wrong with your marriage that you are okay with cheating and possibly wrecking it.

Not only do rumors spread, they change. The next thing you know they would be divorcing their spouses, expecting a baby after having contracted a STD.

She did the only smart thing she could do; she forgot what happened.

 

[WCHSP]

It's incredibly common for people, especially women, to strategically "forget" things they'd rather not admit to in public.

I study ethnopsychopharmacology... one of the things I look at is the concept of the "date rape drug." GHB, rohypnol and alcohol are all substances which are given to people for the purpose of convincing them to have sex with you (or rendering them unable to resist)... but they're also used intentionally by the "victim" for that purpose. This is particularly common among those who are sexually repressed, due to religious moral indoctrination or whatever other cause. Essentially, they drink to loosen themselves up in the hopes that somebody will "take advantage of them," ie, they'll be able to have a sexual encounter without it "being [their] fault."

This can be really annoying... pretending they don't want something they really want, going for it only under the influence of a drug which makes the whole thing less pleasurable (dulls sensitivity and all that), and then they won't even admit to it later.

 

[SweetErika]

It's incredibly common for people, especially women, to strategically "forget" things they'd rather not admit to in public.

I study ethnopsychopharmacology... one of the things I look at is the concept of the "date rape drug." GHB, rohypnol and alcohol are all substances which are given to people for the purpose of convincing them to have sex with you (or rendering them unable to resist)... but they're also used intentionally by the "victim" for that purpose. This is particularly common among those who are sexually repressed, due to religious moral indoctrination or whatever other cause. Essentially, they drink to loosen themselves up in the hopes that somebody will "take advantage of them," ie, they'll be able to have a sexual encounter without it "being [their] fault."

This can be really annoying... pretending they don't want something they really want, going for it only under the influence of a drug which makes the whole thing less pleasurable (dulls sensitivity and all that), and then they won't even admit to it later.

It doesn't have to be annoying at all. All you have to do is avoid being sexual with drunk/drugged people.

And the added bonus of that is staying away from the whole rape issue. I don't know what Canadian laws are like, but here having sex with someone who is too incapacitated to give informed consent is sexual assault and 'Oh, she was drinking/drugging and coming onto me because she feels guilty about having sex sober' would go over like a lead balloon as a defense.

 

[WCHSP]

In the situations I'm describing, normally both partners would be intoxicated.

And it's annoying if you thought you were hitting it off with someone and could explore that a little, but turns out they've got too many issues so it just becomes a one night stand.

ETA: and, yeah, obviously, stay away from those people. That's the worst part of it, though; that there's this entire subset of the population who, despite being physically attractive, should be avoided because of their fucked up programming regarding sex. And sometimes it's hard to tell that you've encountered one, especially if you meet while drinking.

 

[SweetErika]

In the situations I'm describing, normally both partners would be intoxicated.

That's not relevant to my point since intoxicated people can commit assault and intoxication usually isn't a defense either, but okay.

And it's annoying if you thought you were hitting it off with someone and could explore that a little, but turns out they've got too many issues so it just becomes a one night stand.

I see what you're saying.

For me, intoxication always brings up the question of whether or not the attraction/connection is real (or will be there when we're sober). If I want to do something sexual when I've been drinking, fine, but I go into it assuming the connection will be nonexistent or different sober. If it actually does turn out to exist or be similar, great, but I don't count on myself or others to see clearly through the proverbial beer goggles.

 

[literal]

i AGREE. i did not expect her to tell all the details to coworkers but i didnt expect to lie and change the entire story either. We did talk about it before leaving for the holidays and she remembers all of it and also told me that they are ending their marriage soon. It has nothing to do with wat happened between us. actually what happenned between us is supposedly the result of them seperating. I dont know where this leaves me, kinda.