Need some advice

[Star of Penumbra]

I'm working on a story (a non-erotic one, so don't expect to see it here), and I need some information. One of the characters is a domme- at least she likes to think so. She's actually kind of a spoiled brat, and not really a very good domme, she just likes being in charge.

What I'm asking for is common mistakes that that an inexperienced domme would make, someone who cares about the sub's safety pretty much only to the point where she won't deliberately cause long-term damage (more than a bruise or a few small cuts), but could very well end up inflicting it anyway due to inexperience and carelessness.

Personal accounts of this sort of thing, from both subs and doms, would be great.

 

[satindesire]

I'm working on a story (a non-erotic one, so don't expect to see it here), and I need some information. One of the characters is a domme- at least she likes to think so. She's actually kind of a spoiled brat, and not really a very good domme, she just likes being in charge.

What I'm asking for is common mistakes that that an inexperienced domme would make, someone who cares about the sub's safety pretty much only to the point where she won't deliberately cause long-term damage (more than a bruise or a few small cuts), but could very well end up inflicting it anyway due to inexperience and carelessness.

Personal accounts of this sort of thing, from both subs and doms, would be great.

Hm, common mistakes someone might make.


1: Forgetting or not using a safe word.

2: Doing something that isn't okay with the sub.

3: Not being honest with her sub.

4: Not practicing using an implement.



I'm racking my brain right now...If I think of more later, I'll come back by.

 

[Wolfspet]

Leaving a sub tied up and unattended -- and forgetting about her because a good movie is on Cinemax.

Locking a sub into a tall posture collar and immobilizing her in a position which pinches off the carotid arteries in her neck until she passes out.

Incautious asphyxia -- which can cause brain damage.

 

[Kikori]

1.) Thinking she has to be socially dominant instead of just sexually

2.) Abuse of (not with, of) whips or floggers

3.) ... Actually, know what?
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=203500 ("Unhealthy Dominance" topic) This should have a lot of good things a fake or bad Domme could wind up doing, as well as a link to its source. For quicker reference...

1) Controlling behavior due to fear of losing their partner.

A) Isolating the submissive from family and friends
B) Discouraging self sufficient behavior
C) Not allowing any social interaction which does not include the dominant
D) Out of control jealousy

2) Explosive temper

3) Behaves like a spoiled child when not getting his/her way

4) Abuses drugs/alcohol

5) Does not take responsibility for mistakes

6) Uses unhealthy behavior to gain control over the submissive

A) Emotional blackmail
example: Keeping the submissive in a constant state of fear that the relationship will end if they don't get their way.

B) Emotional Withdrawal
example: Using the "silent treatment" or physically withdrawing and cutting off all contact rather than communicating and taking responsibility for the situation.

C) Withdrawal of affection

Refusing any/all intimacy as a punishment which can be quite damaging and reinforces the fear that the submissive will lose the relationship unless he/she gives into this type of blackmail.

 

[lilylicious]

The ideas posted above are all good ones. However, thinking as a writer, I really love most the idea that she feels she must also be socially Dominant. I can see that happening with a spoiled wanna be Domme such as the character you describe. I can also see this presenting fabulous opportunities such as a sub not allowing her to be socially Dominant to them in public causing her embarrassment or to really incur the tantrum like wrath of a spoiled brat.

Good luck with your story!

 

[ElectricBadger]

On the other side of the coin, a noob domme could also be the subject of a slave topping from the bottom. that is, being the one who does things, but at the whim of the sub: "I want to be spanked now." "A real domme would be up for sex any time." "Sigh. That again?" or simply ignoring commands they don't like or being particularly sulky if they don't get their way, to the point of ruining the fun if it's not exactly what they want to be doing.