Feedback Seeking - Thirst

[CassidyFox]

Initially, I wrote this poem as part of a Valentine's gift for my beloved, but as I always do I passed it around to my friends and they seemed to dig it. I'm always interested in feedback from people who don't love me =)

Here's the link

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=389208

 

[Senna Jawa]

I'm always interested in feedback from people who don't love me =)

I love you.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I love you.

Oh LOL!

You can't have her. She's mine.

bj

 

[CassidyFox]

Don't tease me now guys

 

[AscentOfAlec]

Eloquent

 

[Afterbirth]

Actually, she's mine.

Well, not really.

But anyways, it's a lovely poem.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Cassidy, here's my actual feedback: it's a beautiful gift to have given to your beloved for an anniversary, and as that it's perfect. But if you're really interested in writing in rhyme and meter, you might check out the thread on meter that Tzara's running in here right now; it's got a lot of good advice for making your skills even better.

Welcome, and keep writing!

bijou

 

[WickedEve]

Cassidy, here are some examples of erotic poetry. Reading is a good way to learn.

Enjoy:

Rejecting Reuben by SA Storm

More Paeans To Lonnie by JCSTREET

extra sorceress penetration by smithpeter

ideogram by unpredictablebijou

Xenoglossia by Tzara

Bibliobliss by Angeline

Blowjob by vampiredust