2024 Poetry Challenge Discussion Thread

[JaySecrets]

That's also why I was happy for @JaySecrets to play around with it. He may have given me inspiration for a different direction

Hope I did just that. Not trying to change your voice, just help you find new tools.

 

[butters]

It's all a matter of taste, isn't it? For me, too much alliteration can make a poem, especially a short poem, seem like it's trying too hard to be "poetic." I prefer your original version: I think it works better with just the one alliterated line. And if "unraveled" feels wrong to you, maybe "undone" would work? Just my opinion (and taste) of course.

Otoh there's nothing wrong with playing around with the tools of poetry like alliteration to see what you get.

My years here have taught me that if I ask five poets how I might strengthen my poem (or line or even word), I'll likely get five different, mostly conflicting opinions!

and that's where the magic 'rule of three' becomes important not so much in the new suggestions but in the agreements on a place not feeling right

 

[42Below]

It's all a matter of taste, isn't it? For me, too much alliteration can make a poem, especially a short poem, seem like it's trying too hard to be "poetic." I prefer your original version: I think it works better with just the one alliterated line. And if "unraveled" feels wrong to you, maybe "undone" would work? Just my opinion (and taste) of course.

Otoh there's nothing wrong with playing around with the tools of poetry like alliteration to see what you get.

My years here have taught me that if I ask five poets how I might strengthen my poem (or line or even word), I'll likely get five different, mostly conflicting opinions!

Interesting,