Everyone sing - "It's my mower and I'll shoot if I want to."

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[_Aine_]

you would shoot it too if it pissed out on you...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Pete Dexter wrote a magnificent essay about his Italian lawnmower. It's so funny! It's in his book PAPER TRAILS.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[redpaint]

All right, finely someone stuped enough to do what I have only dreamed of doing to a few lawnmowers of my own. Let him go and Buy him a beer.

 

[KarmaKitty]

C'mon! They're gonna put him in jail for shooting his lawn mower? For six years? Who is more dumb?

 

[PublicAffection]

It would be less expensive to just take away his gun, and give him a lawnmower that works.

 

[Guest]

C'mon! They're gonna put him in jail for shooting his lawn mower? For six years? Who is more dumb?

Nah, they're going to put him in jail for possession of a short shotgun or rifle--a Federal offense, if memory serves.

Easy with that hacksaw there, Bubba...

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by KarmaKitty
C'mon! They're gonna put him in jail for shooting his lawn mower? For six years? Who is more dumb?

Nah, they're going to put him in jail for possession of a short shotgun or rifle--a Federal offense, if memory serves.

Easy with that hacksaw there, Bubba...

If the county sheriff is involved, it probably happened in an unincorporated area of the county. Most likely, it was not illegal to fire his shotgun, nor would it be illegal to destroy his lawnmower. A federal beef for having a sawed off shotgun would be the only problem.

 

[impressive]

It would be less expensive to just take away his gun, and give him a lawnmower that works.

Word.


Who mows drunk anyway?

 

[cantdog]

Nah, they're going to put him in jail for possession of a short shotgun or rifle--a Federal offense, if memory serves.

Easy with that hacksaw there, Bubba...

One of the kids in the dorm had a sawed-off shotgun. He used to fire it in the back woods behind the school, according to his cousin. He got caught by one of us dorm parents, because he was walking along the corridor with it, out in the open, plain as day.

"God damn, George! What did you have to let us see it for? Now we have to report it!" That's what we told him, because we were actually obliged to report it, and it was a pain in the ass. "What earthly good is it, sawed short like that? What can you possibly do with it?"

"I like to hear it go off," he replied.

Fair enough.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[cantdog]

He ain't no mower.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[voluptuary_manque]

One of the kids in the dorm had a sawed-off shotgun. He used to fire it in the back woods behind the school, according to his cousin. He got caught by one of us dorm parents, because he was walking along the corridor with it, out in the open, plain as day.

"God damn, George! What did you have to let us see it for? Now we have to report it!" That's what we told him, because we were actually obliged to report it, and it was a pain in the ass. "What earthly good is it, sawed short like that? What can you possibly do with it?"

"I like to hear it go off," he replied.

Fair enough.

That's a constant refrain of mine, "Doggone it, if you're bound and determined to do something you know you shouldn't, at least don't do it where I can see you!"

 

[glynndah]

That's a constant refrain of mine, "Doggone it, if you're bound and determined to do something you know you shouldn't, at least don't do it where I can see you!"

Or put things in writing. A girl wrote a note saying very bad things about me and got caught by another teacher. The girl apologized, I accepted her apology and told her not to write those things down. It was perfectly acceptable to complain about teachers to other students, but actually writing things down would get her into trouble.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Or put things in writing. A girl wrote a note saying very bad things about me and got caught by another teacher. The girl apologized, I accepted her apology and told her not to write those things down. It was perfectly acceptable to complain about teachers to other students, but actually writing things down would get her into trouble.

Yeah! Or "You are completely correct, he really does need a good thumping but please do it off campus so I don't have to write you up for it."

 

[glynndah]

I have a couple of lawnmowers and two trimmers I'd be happy to donate if anyone feels the need to shoot something horticultural.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[cantdog]

I have a couple of lawnmowers and two trimmers I'd be happy to donate if anyone feels the need to shoot something horticultural.

You are very much the soul of generosity, Glyn.

 

[rgraham666]

I have a couple of lawnmowers and two trimmers I'd be happy to donate if anyone feels the need to shoot something horticultural.

Sigh. I could use a new lawnmower and trimmer.

Landlord isn't going to buy them though.

 

[TE999]

A local retailer said that Mr Walendowski might now have difficulty getting his lawn mower repaired.

"Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty," said Dick Wagner, of Wagner's Garden Mart in Milwaukee.

From: Lawnscalper Mower Co.

To: Mr. Kieth Walendowski

Re: Lawnmower repairs

A careful review of our responsibilities concering your request for mower repairs has determined we are not responsible for removal of .00 buckshot pellets from the engine and subsequent damage to the carburetor, fuel pump and lines, cylinder head and drive pulleys.

Thank you for your interest in Lawnscalper products.

Craft T. Fudger
VP, Repairs Division

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Update -

Witnesses told police that he appeared to have been drinking.

The lawn mower was found sitting outside Mr Walendowski's house, which he shares with his mother, with the rubbish on Friday.

A local retailer said that Mr Walendowski might now have difficulty getting his lawn mower repaired.

"Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty," said Dick Wagner, of Wagner's Garden Mart in Milwaukee.

There is no situation in the world that can't be made more absurd by the application of alcohol.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

From: Lawnscalper Mower Co.

To: Mr. Kieth Walendowski

Re: Lawnmower repairs

A careful review of our responsibilities concering your request for mower repairs has determined we are not responsible for removal of .00 buckshot pellets from the engine and subsequent damage to the carburetor, fuel pump and lines, cylinder head and drive pulleys.

Thank you for your interest in Lawnscalper products.

Craft T. Fudger
VP, Repairs Division

http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii177/1volupturary_manque/lol.gif

 

[Liar]

These guys totally understand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwjU3HWLM3c