apparently backwards, anyone out there like me?

[confused85282]

Ok, so I'll start by saying this is probably in the wrong thread, but I'm not sure where else to put it.

I have been fantasizing about being with a man for a while. Mostly I've been looking at pictures on line, reading these forums, and reading stories on lit. I think I'm open minded about other peoples sexuality, but it honestly took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that I might be bisexual myself. I'm definitely not gay, I never stopped thinking that women were incredible, but I thought for a while that I might be bisexual, because I also started thinking the idea of sucking cock was incredibly erotic.

I say thought, because I finally had the opportunity to actually be with a man and suck his cock tonight. The thought of finally sucking cock was very exciting until I actually did it. No offense to anybody who likes doing it, but I didn't find the actual act of sucking cock to be in any way exciting. I didn't think it was gross, or unexciting, but I just thought it was about as interesting as sucking on somebody's finger.

It was great when he sucked me, but no better than when women have sucked me in the past. I just was neither excited nor repulsed by sucking him... it was just... blah.

So is there anyone else out there like me? why is the fantasy of sucking cock so hot for me, but the actual act so... unexciting? Am I some sort of weird fantasy bisexual, but reality straight guy?

Or am I just a weirdo and over-thinking it all?

 

[jshawk52]

Sounds familar

I experienced the same thing. I spent years anticipating sucking a cock, and then when I finally did, I was disappointed in my reaction. I thought it as just okay. The guy was small - maybe that had something to do with it.
He did a great job on me - I came in a few minutes and he swallowed it all - amazing. But for me, the actual act of having his dick in my mouth was nowhere near as exciting as I anticipated. Maybe I just didn't give it enough of a chance.

 

[none2_none2]

I never enjoyed sucking on a guy. It was ok, but nothing to write erotic stories about. Likewise, getting sucked is ok. Either one I could have spent a lifetime without and not missed anything of importance. I look at oral porn where you see the cum in the guy's mouth because it "looks" hot. But that is just a visual thing. Physically, as I stated, it is just ok.

However, once I fucked a guy, that was the ultimate for me. The tightness the intensity, etc were more than I could ever imagine. Yes it was something I anticipated for years before I did it. However, I had NO idea that it would exceed any dream I had imagined it to be like.

The difference between where I'm coming from, and you is that I do prefer to have sex with guys. So I have done oral, but if I were single, and there was a convention where every gay/bi guy vowed never to get fucked again, I'd probably go straight. M2M sex with out being able to play with a wonderful ass would be worse than str8 sex by a long shot. Sure if my partner had rectal cancer, I would adapt. Not because my sexuality would change, but sometimes you do things for love that you wouldn't do otherwise.

 

[human_male]

Am I some sort of weird fantasy bisexual, but reality straight guy?

Or am I just a weirdo and over-thinking it all?

That's me! Seriously, you're just like me and a lot of other guys. Good for you having tried it. You've found it's not really your thing... no big deal. At least you had the guts to try it. Sometimes I go crazy for the idea of cock but I've never tried it, possibly because I know I won't like it in reality.

So just keep it as a fantasy, or role play with your gf or whatever.

I wish you well.

 

[Etoile]

The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid looks at three things: your past experience, your current preference, and your fantasy life. The fact that fantasy is included should tell you that you're perfectly normal.

 

[limplizzard]

I have managed to fulfill several fantasizes in my life most were not as exciting as my fantasizes.

 

[Hitchiker69]

First time sucking

Sounds to me like your experience was utterly lacking in lust or passion...sort of a 'slam bam, thank you m'am' type of thing. Very left brained, and cold.

I've had that type of sex with both genders, and it's not very satisfying.

Perhaps if you tried a different approach, you'd have a more exciting time. What works for me is to relax with the guy, have a drink or two. A massage or a shoulder rub is a geat way to start the physical side of things. Then get naked and explore and enjoy each other's bodies. Savor the moment, make it as good as you can for each other...slowly build up to cock play, then progress to sucking and whatever else you like.

But walking into a room with a guy, thinking it's 'just a quick suck' then leaving, is a pretty dry experience.

 

[baldyman]

Sounds to me like your experience was utterly lacking in lust or passion...sort of a 'slam bam, thank you m'am' type of thing. Very left brained, and cold.

I've had that type of sex with both genders, and it's not very satisfying.

Perhaps if you tried a different approach, you'd have a more exciting time. What works for me is to relax with the guy, have a drink or two. A massage or a shoulder rub is a geat way to start the physical side of things. Then get naked and explore and enjoy each other's bodies. Savor the moment, make it as good as you can for each other...slowly build up to cock play, then progress to sucking and whatever else you like.

But walking into a room with a guy, thinking it's 'just a quick suck' then leaving, is a pretty dry experience.

I love sucking cock but the chance of catching something holds me back from letting him come in my mouth. Does anyone else have this fear?

 

[jshawk52]

That brings up a question

Is it always expected that the suckee will cum in the mouth of the sucker? Seems to me that would be the most exciting and satisfying part, but as the previous poster noted, can be dangerous.

 

[CrshNBurn]

You are all braver than I am

I applaud that you guys have been able to follow through on your fantasies/desires of being with another man. I have been thinking about it for years but have never found the courage to do it. Ive bought toys for myself and enjoy the feeling of my ass being filled with a vibe, butt plug, anal bead and dildo.

I would love see what its like to suck on a real cock as I have tried doing it with the dildo and it gets me hard when I do that. I want to try swallowing someone elses cum, but know that it brings major risks.

I also want to feel what a real cock would feel like in my ass. If I knew the man was clean I would be willing to go bareback and feel his cum in me.

Again, congrats to the guys who have the balls "no pun intended" to do it with other guys.

 

[dakotagirl]

fantasies have a way of being 1000 times better than real life. I suppose that is not always the case but quite often it is. I wouldnt beat yourself up about it.

 

[CrshNBurn]

fantasies have a way of being 1000 times better than real life. I suppose that is not always the case but quite often it is. I wouldnt beat yourself up about it.

I have had some good fantasies!
I was just saying that I think its cool that these guys have done it. At least they found out what it was like.

 

[jshawk52]

CrshnBurn - I'm with you on the assplay - sent you a PM

 

[versatile1]

It was different from what I expected. I was surprised how quickly my jaw grew tired. Initially, it was kind of hard getting used to his thrusting into my mouth. Next time, if there ever is one, I'll add more licking and hand work.

I was also hoping for a bit more flavor and I didn't get him to cum.

But the feel of the silky smooth soft hardness in my mouth and the feeling being penetrated--well, that more than did it for me.

 

[deyv]

your experience sounds a lot like the experience of guys who have an intense desire to eat their own cum while masturbating but immediately lose that desire upon ejaculation.

Also, I think a lot of it has to do with mutual chemistry.

Even though cumming for is more mechanical for men than it is for women, it still better when both parties have more in common than a cock and a desire to get off.

I don't suck cock that often, and have only sucked seven in my life.

Some were so-so, most were pretty good and one was great.

Also, sometimes we have preconceived ideas of how our fantasies will play out and when the actual event doesn't measure up then there is a let down.

The first time I sucked cock was mostly just to see what it was like rather than from a long held fantasy. In fact, I never even thought of doing it myself until an internet friend suggested we hook-up, and I figured that if I expected future girlfriends to go down on me then I should at least see what it was like. And low and behold I liked it and still do it when the situation is right.

 

[Bicuriousone]

Sounds to me like your experience was utterly lacking in lust or passion...sort of a 'slam bam, thank you m'am' type of thing. Very left brained, and cold.

I've had that type of sex with both genders, and it's not very satisfying.

Perhaps if you tried a different approach, you'd have a more exciting time. What works for me is to relax with the guy, have a drink or two. A massage or a shoulder rub is a geat way to start the physical side of things. Then get naked and explore and enjoy each other's bodies. Savor the moment, make it as good as you can for each other...slowly build up to cock play, then progress to sucking and whatever else you like.

But walking into a room with a guy, thinking it's 'just a quick suck' then leaving, is a pretty dry experience.

I agree with you when I am finally able to completely experience my Bi side I don't want it to be just a slam bam thank you thing I want to have the whole experience of sex with another man.

 

[joshm36]

I agree with you when I am finally able to completely experience my Bi side I don't want it to be just a slam bam thank you thing I want to have the whole experience of sex with another man.

Agreed

 

[jshawk52]

bicurious and josh - you are both right on. The quick 'I'll suck yours and you suck mine' deal lacks the passion and enthusiasm I need. Next time, I'm going to make sure I can spend some time with my partner and be in a place where we can explore more than just cock sucking. I want to be able to feel and explore his body, and have him do the same to me.

 

[nipers]

Wana

Yes I want to try sucking a cock.I am just a little scared.

 

[jshawk52]

Bump this great thread

 

[RagsNRiches]

Greetings all,
Don't know if this thread will go well, but it sure is a challenging subject. I read all 20 posts above this one and saw nothing to disagree with.

Something I experienced was what I believe is an over-emphasis on masturbation while alone. I live alone, and most of my sex in the last couple years has been masturbation. I cum fine when I'm alone, and, when I'm not alone, it doesn't matter if my partner is a man or a woman. It seems that it's become difficult to cum with another person around. I have no problem with helping partners to cum, though.

I think in general we each have fantasies that are IDEAL, but none of us have partners who are. If you've had your cock sucked very much, you know that it's not all that easy to please a person with it.

I think that fantasies are almost unattainable, by definition. To me, a fantasy is UNREAL, not a part of reality, so when it does become reality, it loses much of its allure.

Now that I have sucked quite a few cocks, the reality is much more sexually exciting, regardless of any fantasy. I have been pretty lucky, I guess, in that most all of my partners have been well-rounded personalities, who were not just looking for an empty mouth to fuck, but a person to please and be pleased by.

That last part is the most important aspect of the AFTER-effects of most sexual encounters. And that seems to be a big part of what this thread is about.

Sorry for the ramble,

Rags

 

[jshawk52]

This needs a bump - it's been hidden a long time

 

[gloriann]

Hitchhiker had it right... did you think that maybe it was because you had no connection? Suck a cock, don't suck a cock, you guys make such a huge deal out of it...

 

[jshawk52]

Hitchhiker had it right... did you think that maybe it was because you had no connection? Suck a cock, don't suck a cock, you guys make such a huge deal out of it...

Agreed - getting to know the guy at least a little bit makes a big difference. Feeling a guy and helping him to feel good is a great, warm experience and should not be rushed. A quickie with a stranger leaves a lot to be desired.

 

[klippert]

going in the right direction

After my divorce, I had spent a lot of time at the gym, and started taking notice in the male physique. I was nailing just about every tuna I could get, but....I started too have this urge.

I couldn't just slide into the car and start sucking.....I always thought IF im going to do this I want to justify it....get some true pleasure from it....I know sounds femmee....It was at least two years later that I met Gil and Marie....which I have chronicled some on other threads.....the first time Gil and I hooked up....was in the back of his truck....the next day I felt awful...but kept replaying it back in my head