Looking for that frisson again

[EnglishAgain]

Hi everyone, I'm just your average everyday ho-hum kind of guy who's been married for almost 20 years and is looking for some female email company to bring a smile to my day and yours. I'm very chatty, I tend to be a bit wordy (I'll always say vivacious instead of bouncy) and I do have that irritating habit of trying to make light of things all the time. On the plus side I'm just about as smart as the average bear, I have my own hair, have been well house-trained and I can count to 20 without having to take my socks off. I love to read, I have written a few things on this site in the past (although quite a few years ago now) and I'd love to find my pizzazz, my zing, my mojo once again to be able to write some more. If you fancy a flirt, and perhaps you think you could be my muse, then send me an email, or send me a big cream cake. I love both.
Have fun
English

 

[nobodys fool]

Couldn't send a cream cake so guess the email will have to do. You sound like you could be fun and I'm intrigued by anyone who describes themselves as average and uses vivacious in the same post. If you fancy a flirt then send me an email and we'll see if we click.

 

[EnglishAgain]

contact

Well hurrah and sweet hallelujah, a voice cried out from the wilderness in reply. I was beginning to wonder if I had put some kind of invisible ink in my posting because there were no replies. Then here you are, charming and flirty and mysterious, with an invitation to send you my very best shiny and most polished flirt. Now, if I could only find an email address to send it to.....

Uh oh, we're in trouble, you left me no address and I'm all in a muddle. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I can flirt with you openly, out here where everyone can read it, it's just that I don't really know anything about you and I don't want you to have to post all those intimate details about yourself here like whether you prefer tea or coffee, whether you prefer burgers with onions in or not, what your favourite colour socks are and so on.

To put it another way, could I have your email address please? Pretty please? With cherries on?
Thanks

 

[EnglishAgain]

To put it another way, could I have your email address please? Pretty please? With cherries on?
Thanks

Really, I thought I was asking nicely. Look, I've put clean socks on, and I've buffed my nipples so they shine. God, that hurt! No? Busy with all that "real life" stuff? It's so last season. Dump it all, and let's run off to Guatemala to take up harvesting pygmy bananas. It's back breaking work, but all that potassium has to be good for something.

Am I just talking to my own posting here? God, I'm sooo alone

 

[EnglishAgain]

Super dee duper

Am I just talking to my own posting here? God, I'm sooo alone

Yippee. Update to self: three replies in your inbox, from various diverse and interesting/ sweet/ sexy and above all intelligent people. Oh bugger, now they're going to realise. Quick, think of something witty......

Quick.....

Anytime now........

No? Oh dear. Did you really only get into the gene pool because the lifeguard wasn't looking? Hopeless.

Never mind, maybe they'll be impressed with your good looks.....

On second thoughts, are you SURE you can't think of something witty.....?

 

[EnglishAgain]

Puzzled

Yippee. Update to self: three replies in your inbox, from various diverse and interesting/ sweet/ sexy and above all intelligent people. Oh bugger, now they're going to realise. Quick, think of something witty......

Quick.....

Anytime now........

No? Oh dear. Did you really only get into the gene pool because the lifeguard wasn't looking? Hopeless.

Never mind, maybe they'll be impressed with your good looks.....

On second thoughts, are you SURE you can't think of something witty.....?

I am perplexed, puzzled, stumped, mystified, curious, wondering, and otherwise questioning.

What is a troll? On these boards I mean obviously, not in real life. Not like the ones that live under my bed, or behind the garden shed, but on this message board.
Anyone? Go on, help me out. please? pretty please? I'll be real nice to you if you do. Honest....

Oh, and yes I am looking for some way to bump this thread obviously. I had some really nice replies at first, but then they left and never came back on Lit again. Perhaps I should use stronger deodorant....

 

[katze101]

Bumping your thread because it's interesting and funny.

 

[Mitsouko]

A troll is a person posting on the internet intending to provoke an indignant response in the reader. Feeding a troll means responding to a troll's post.

I wouldn't worry too much about them, now that you have your Mr. G thing down, you probably won't have any spare time to notice trolls anyway

 

[EnglishAgain]

A troll is a person posting on the internet intending to provoke an indignant response in the reader. Feeding a troll means responding to a troll's post.

I wouldn't worry too much about them, now that you have your Mr. G thing down, you probably won't have any spare time to notice trolls anyway

Thank you for the explanation. It all becomes clearer than a jellyfish in a negligee.

If you can be indignant, is it possible to also be outdignant?


Oh, and thanks for bumping my thread because you think it's funny. sadly, this is all heartfelt stuff, written after many hours wandering in contemplative solitude across the Derbyshire peaks, wrenching at the inner turmoil of my own human condition....

Oh alright, yes it's just a load of rubbish, but I mean it from the heart of my bottom!

 

[EnglishAgain]

I wouldn't worry too much about them, now that you have your Mr. G thing down, you probably won't have any spare time to notice trolls anyway

The Mr G thing was marvellous. I now have one very very happy wife, but I have to make my own breakfast regularly as she is exhausted. This morning I awoke and decided on bacon and eggs. The fire brigade say that most of the smoke damage should be hardly noticeable within six months....
Thanks Mr G.

 

[katze101]

Bumping ur thread for tonight, Mr. G! I hope the fire dept didn't consider your house as a hazard.

 

[EnglishAgain]

Bumping ur thread for tonight, Mr. G! I hope the fire dept didn't consider your house as a hazard.

The man from the fire department voiced the following opinion on the 6 o'clock news;

"Darwin may have been absolutely correct, but what we have here is obviously a defunct branch of the genetic tree. After a million years of evolution, if this is what we have ended up with (pointing at EnglishAgain) then there was obviously a problem with the initial concept. We have decided to pull his arms off and beat him over the head with the soggy ends to remind him of his inadequacy as a chef and also to prevent him for ever touching anything dangerous ever again."

I thought he was a very nice man, didn't you?

Hi one and all. It seems this thread is making people smile. Glad you're enjoying it. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. The people at the burns unit said they make me look distinguished....

oh, actually it turns out they said I shouldn't have been extinguished.

 

[EnglishAgain]

It's a little but funny, this feeling inside...
I'm not on of those whose just here for a ride
I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do...
I'm bumping my thread and searching for you.

You can show everybody you're in your thong
It may be quite silky but you'll still be wrong
I hope you don't mind, I know you're not blind,
so I put down in words...

oh never mind, it was rubbish anyway.

 

[asti426]

Hey there
Just wanted to say HI!! and let you know I enjoyed reading through your thread you seem like a very amusing and fun guy, I know you made me smile so, thank you

 

[chieda]

Hey there
Just wanted to say HI!! and let you know I enjoyed reading through your thread you seem like a very amusing and fun guy, I know you made me smile so, thank you

couldnt agree more so here is another little tiny bump

 

[EnglishAgain]

couldnt agree more so here is another little tiny bump

How very nice of you both. It's sooo refreshing to be mistaken for someone nice. And lo, is that a person from the UK I spy? Honestly? I had begun to wonder if it were simply me alone, and that there was some sort of international conspiracy out there so only those far away would say hi.

Did you know there's a website called dullmen.com? I just heard about it today. Yay, home at last.

I'm not feeling in very funny mood tonight. I got Wii Fit this weekend, and it told me that there's no Wii in "You fat bugger". I have to do 30 minutes exercise a day and eat healthily. Tonight I'm hoping that half an hour watching porn counts as aerobic exercise, and I'll have a burger outdoors in the fresh air. aah, I can almost feel the cholesterol evaporating into the mist.

Is it just me, or is everyone on here really very nice? Considering it's supposed to be a site full of deviants, perverts, misfits and miscreants, I think everyone's been lovely that I've met. Still, I'm sure I can bring the tone down.

I've decided to get into flagellation, necrophilia and bestiality. Do you think I'm flogging a dead horse?

 

[katze101]

Bumping ur thread for tonite, Mr. G! I hope you were able to get your exercise and eat your burger in the great outdoors.

 

[davro]

I've decided to get into flagellation, necrophilia and bestiality. Do you think I'm flogging a dead horse?

Not sure but incest is relatively boring.

 

[davro]

.....wrenching at the inner turmoil of my own human condition....

Only an Englishman could describe wanking so eloquently.

 

[EnglishAgain]

Only an Englishman could describe wanking so eloquently.

Eloquents? No, they may look cute but the trunks unnerve me a little.

 

[EnglishAgain]

miss taken identity

Bumping ur thread for tonite, Mr. G! I hope you were able to get your exercise and eat your burger in the great outdoors.

Hi Katze,

I must point out something urgently. there is a Mr G on these boards, but he is not me and I am not he, see?

He put a posting on the How To boards called "Try this and report back" which is all about how to use the female G spot to achieve multiple orgasms. I tried it, my wife went into paroxysms of joy when it worked (7 or 8 times the first time, and still loving every minute) and so I had to post back to Mr G to say thank you. The fact that Mitsouko commented on my ability with the Mr G thing may have you confused, overwhelmed, befuddled, muddled, dazed, pusillanimously paralysed or perhaps possibly just caught unawares, so I thought I should put things straight and also strongly recommend his thread to anyone. Make sure you read the first page of his thread though. The later pages aren't really relevant.

Now, off to work with you. Go on, haven't you got somewhere important to be? And the rest of you too. Ha, lurking there like ... like... well like a big bag of lurking things, plotting in a corner and trying not to look furtive. Go on, be off with you all.

Humph!

 

[katze101]

Oohlala! A note from EA pour moi? Je suis desole. Pardonnez-moi pour mon erreur.

Sorry for the miss-taken identity, EnglishAgain. I didn't know about the Mr. G thread before. Now I know about it, since I read his thread. All I need now is to test his theory.

Bumping your thread for tonight, EnglishAgain!

 

[kimberly92]

Sexy Voices

.....

 

[your_eager_toy]

Now, off to work with you. Go on, haven't you got somewhere important to be? And the rest of you too. Ha, lurking there like ... like... well like a big bag of lurking things, plotting in a corner and trying not to look furtive. Go on, be off with you all.

well, I must admit that yes, I have been lurking here...not so much plotting though as thoroughly enjoying your posts. You certainly know how to bring a smile.

So I'm offering a little bump (with optional grind ) in the hopes that you'll find your writing mojo... assuming of course that Mr. G's advice hasn't already helped in that regard.

 

[LavenderMouse]

Oh, I have to admit you've certainly made me chuckle.

So you get a special bump from me.