The European Madness Festival

[freshface]

That was bad on an epic scale. So bad it deserves to win.

Is that the key to victory here?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I think the host country sets a theme that everyone has to follow. I remember when Greece held the contest; everyone had to wear a bikini on stage. Serbia obviously has told the artists that they must change clothes from black to white while singing.

Or perhaps it's some secret racistic brainwash? "Let's make Europe whiter"? Damned that Shengen!!!!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Greece is so disappointing...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Someone should drive a spoon into the centre of her heart

 

[Svenskaflicka]

You're all going to think I've gone mad, but I'm now officially rooting for France. And Azerbaijan kicks ass! It reminds me of a beer commercial.

CHARLEY!!!!!!!!! Lauren's gone bye-bye! It's been too much for her, she's OD'ed! Quick, drag her away from the TV and play her some techno!

 

[Liar]

The three straight guys, one gay guy and one straight girl in my sofa all agree: They'd crawl over glowing embers to screw the living daylights out of the greek girl.

Yeah. Me too.

 

[Liar]

CHARLEY!!!!!!!!! Lauren's gone bye-bye! It's been too much for her, she's OD'ed! Quick, drag her away from the TV and play her some techno!

...you mean like Spain's stuff?

 

[freshface]

Spain gets points for an original opening.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Liar, visst påminner han om Dr Bombay?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Spain needs more fake fog. Much more fake fog.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"El miqualiyaso"??????????

There goes my screen again...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

My memory's hazy - did Ireland pass the semifinals? I LOVE their song.

 

[Liar]

Liar, visst påminner han om Dr Bombay?

Kanske det, men vill man bli påmind om Dr Bombay?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

My memory's hazy - did Ireland pass the semifinals? I LOVE their song.

Nope. They're good people, want to spare the rest of Europe.

 

[Liar]

My memory's hazy - did Ireland pass the semifinals? I LOVE their song.

Nope.

Pity. Got to dig it up on Youtube and show Charley.

 

[freshface]

Serbia's my favorite so far. She has a nice voice.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Nope.

Pity. Got to dig it up on Youtube and show Charley.

Irelande Douze Pointe, by Dustin the Turkey? LOL

 

[Svenskaflicka]

The three straight guys, one gay guy and one straight girl in my sofa all agree: They'd crawl over glowing embers to screw the living daylights out of the greek girl.

Yeah. Me too.

I can understand why the gay guy wanna do her, she looked like a tranny, but the rest?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I liked Russia better when they had the under-aged lesbian chicks.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Irelande Douze Pointe, by Dustin the Turkey? LOL

That was a turkey? Oh. I couldn't really tell. I thought they had hired Gonzo from the Muppet Show.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I liked Russia better when they had the under-aged lesbian chicks.

Awwww, I'm so sorry, Lauren, they were just faking it. They had boyfriends, both of them.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Serbia's my favorite so far. She has a nice voice.

You're weird.

 

[freshface]

Is the Russian guy wearing ice skates?

 

[freshface]

You're weird.

I get that a lot.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Awwww, I'm so sorry, Lauren, they were just faking it. They had boyfriends, both of them.

Damn, you can't trust them Russians...