The Official Murphy's Law Thread

[S-Des]

Do you believe in the old expression, "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong?" Do you have wonderful stories of woe to entertain us (although they have to have been anything but wonderful at the time)? We need a thread to share our sorrow, be comforted by our friends, and give everyone the chance to laugh at our misfortune.

Please, feel free to share....

 

[S-Des]

So I'm preparing for a show yesterday. I was entertaining my daughter before I loaded my van with gear, when my nephew informed me that I had a flat. I wasn't overly concerned because the tires have had a slow leak for the last two years (but it usually takes a couple of weeks to go down, and they stop at around 20lbs). When I got out there, I found that the tire was completely flat, so I aired it up, and hoped beyond hope that it was a fluke, because I didn't have a full-sized spare. Sure enough, two hours later I go out and it's completely flat again. I call the band to see if there's any way they can do the gig without me, but they say no. So I fill it up, get ready to toss the air compressor in the van (just to make it through the night) when I put the cap back on the tire stem....feeling a solid breeze on my face. Sure enough (that phrase will be used a lot ), there are about a dozen small holes on the wall of the tire and it's blowing out air almost as fast as I put it in.

With dread (and absolutely no time to spare), I get the van on a jack, pull off the tire, and toss on a donut (for a full-sized van loaded with 1000 lbs of music gear), and head off into what I'm sure will be a lovely evening. I get 1 mile down the road and, sure enough (told you so), my 'Check Engine' light comes on. Well, long story short (er....kind of), I made it to and from the gig, managing to get them started only 30 minutes late (and losing several pounds of sweat in the process). I'm hoping the nail-biting jaunt back and forth only skimmed a few months off my life. Now I've got a bad tire (that I may or may not be able to find a replacement for), a possible problem with the engine (to go with the 20 or so I already know about), and 5 days to figure out if I should fix what I can and hope for the best, or take it to the junkyard and start over with another used vehicle (since I only use it 30-40 times a year).

All in all, a typical Saturday night.

 

[neonlyte]

I was making a Thai meal for friends.

The Thai food I like tends to be relatively mild but 'fired' with thinly sliced fresh chili so you get this sudden explosion of heat in the mouth. In the supermarket, shopping for ingredients, the SO insisted I should buy the milder chili's claiming our friends might not like strong chili. I insisted otherwise, I was cooking, they should eat what they were given... I bought the strong ones.

Around lunchtime, everything as usual descended into chaos with people arriving, me trying to serve drinks and prepare food whilst dying to take a leak, every time I shot to the bathroom, it was occupied.

'Bathroom free!' the SO told me and I rushed upstairs.

Unfortunately, I'd just been slicing the chili's. Never Ever Ever handle your dick after chopping chili's.... I'm not even sure washing hands would help that much, the next couple of days produced twinges rather than the excruciating pain I enjoyed through lunch.

The SO tartly informed me milder chili's, as she suggested, wouldn't have had the same effect... I think she lies

 

[oggbashan]

Many years ago I received a complaint from a contractor constructing a deep manhole for my company. They wanted more money for using pumps to keep the water level down in the excavation.

They had estimated that two three-inch pumps would be sufficient. They were using four six-inch pumps and losing the battle. Would I authorise extra payments so that they could hire larger pumps?

I contacted the local Clerk of Works and sent him out to investigate. When he phoned me back he had difficulty conveying the message because he was laughing too much.

The site of the manhole was within one hundred yards of the sea - you can guess the rest but:

The subsoil was very porous. Every time the tide came in the excavation flooded. The contractor was trying to pump the Atlantic Ocean out of the hole. The specification for the work included the statement "A coffer dam will be necessary and precautions taken to avoid salt water ingress." The contractor hadn't read that bit, nor consulted the locals who were sitting outside the public house opposite grinning in amusement as larger and larger pumps arrived.

Once a coffer dam had been installed and a membrane laid under the base of the proposed manhole one two-inch pump was enough to remove any seepage.

I didn't pay any extra.

Og

 

[kiten69]

Do you believe in the old expression, "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong?"

Where do I start? You know what I mean. . .

 

[jomar]

I was playing for Memphis in the NCAA finals. We were up by nine. I'd made five free throws in a row. I came to the line for a one-and-one with with two minutes left and...

 

[Gizzmotick]

As my job is kinda technical... let me put it this way. I supervise almost 75 people on any given day. All of whom are adults but refuse to act like it. Add to that senior management who want a report anytime anybody breathes. Plus all the reports for equipment that I have to do... But I digress. Add to that the constant training requirements which pull people away from the work zone - which the schueduling department never take into account, but I get held responsible for sending people to training and then dealing with customers...

It's a recipe for madness. And is on a daily basis. Virtually every day becomes a comedy of errors.

 

[S-Des]

Where do I start? You know what I mean. . .

Yeah, I really do.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I was born in...well the year isn't important...then life happened. 'nough said.

 

[kiten69]

Yeah, I really do.

I just checked my birth certificate, my middle name is really. . .Murphy !!!