I Just Don't Get It

[Misty_Morning]

I got a friend that was a former roommate in college.

Seems I only hear from her when she needs sompthin. And then she just pisses and moans about how bad she got it. Then she asks for a loan.

Over the last several years I have loaned her several thousands of dollars. Enough to keep her house from going into forclosure twice, her car from being repossessed, her lights and/or her water on.

She has always paid me back ...in time.

But the thing that gets me is that she has always earned anywhere from 5 to 15k a year more than me. Her mortgage is less than half my rent. her monthly expenses are MUCH less than mine.

AT first I didn't think twice about lending her money.

But, it just seems every time she calls I gotta listen to her sob story (which really ain't a sob story).

It's like she is the only fucking person that has ever had hardships....mind you, she really don't have it bad.


Tonight, for the third time I had to say NO. I just can't help you, and proceeded to tell her why.

She thought I was just blowing her off.

I guess in a way I was.

BUT COME ON ALREADY.

Be a friend when times are good as well as bad.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I got a friend that was a former roommate in college.

Seems I only hear from her when she needs sompthin. And then she just pisses and moans about how bad she got it. Then she asks for a loan.

Over the last several years I have loaned her several thousands of dollars. Enough to keep her house from going into forclosure twice, her car from being repossessed, her lights and/or her water on.

She has always paid me back ...in time.

But the thing that gets me is that she has always earned anywhere from 5 to 15k a year more than me. Her mortgage is less than half my rent. her monthly expenses are MUCH less than mine.

AT first I didn't think twice about lending her money.

But, it just seems every time she calls I gotta listen to her sob story (which really ain't a sob story).

It's like she is the only fucking person that has ever had hardships....mind you, she really don't have it bad.


Tonight, for the third time I had to say NO. I just can't help you, and proceeded to tell her why.

She thought I was just blowing her off.

I guess in a way I was.

BUT COME ON ALREADY.

Be a friend when times are good as well as bad.

She's probably on crack.

 

[Misty_Morning]

She's probably on crack.

Nope. Doesn't do drugs. This I know.



Hmmmmm....maybe she has a alot of online porn subscriptions.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Nope. Doesn't do drugs. This I know.



Hmmmmm....maybe she has a alot of online porn subscriptions.

She's probably selling crack.

 

[Misty_Morning]

She's probably selling crack.

Then I should be asking HER for a loan.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Then I should be asking HER for a loan.

I only say she's selling because most of it would go back to her supplier.

In all reality, she's probably a gambler.

 

[Misty_Morning]

I only say she's selling because most of it would go back to her supplier.

In all reality, she's probably a gambler.

.....

 

[Trinique_Fire]

Maybe so....the casinos are just about 30 minutes away from her. Never thought of that.

Still...the thought is...call when you need me...AND...when you don't NEED my money. Especially when I have so little.

Gambling wouldn't surprise me. If she gets defensive, don't you be surprised either. She's embarrassed about whatever it is that's holding her back financially. Don't press her for information. Just keep saying no, firmly, until she gets the picture. She may eventually open up to you.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I only say she's selling because most of it would go back to her supplier.

In all reality, she's probably a gambler.

That would explain it. She gets on a losing streak and needs money. She gets on a winning streak and pays it back. It might be something else, but if it was dope or booze, she wouldn't be able to pay it back.

Or maybe she has a man she's keeping, and he is high maintenance

 

[starrkers]

At least she pays it back.
My bridesmaid borrowed several thousand dollars "just till I can sell my car". Then she disappeared.

 

[TE999]

I got a friend that was a former roommate in college.

Seems I only hear from her when she needs sompthin. And then she just pisses and moans about how bad she got it. Then she asks for a loan.

Over the last several years I have loaned her several thousands of dollars. Enough to keep her house from going into forclosure twice, her car from being repossessed, her lights and/or her water on.

She has always paid me back ...in time.

But the thing that gets me is that she has always earned anywhere from 5 to 15k a year more than me. Her mortgage is less than half my rent. her monthly expenses are MUCH less than mine.

AT first I didn't think twice about lending her money.

But, it just seems every time she calls I gotta listen to her sob story (which really ain't a sob story).

It's like she is the only fucking person that has ever had hardships....mind you, she really don't have it bad.


Tonight, for the third time I had to say NO. I just can't help you, and proceeded to tell her why.

She thought I was just blowing her off.

I guess in a way I was.

BUT COME ON ALREADY.

Be a friend when times are good as well as bad.

Sorry Misty--but you don't have a friend there--you have a sponge--and not one with square pants either.

You have gone way beyond the call of duty in being a friend. Now it stops here.

Besides, a real friend wouldn't do such things repeatedly.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Baby...can i have a loan?

alright alright im joking!

i agree with TE999, you've done more than enough, and i also agree that somehting like gambling would explain that sort of thing.

It'll be ok, just be firm

 

[Weird Harold]

But the thing that gets me is that she has always earned anywhere from 5 to 15k a year more than me. Her mortgage is less than half my rent. her monthly expenses are MUCH less than mine.

I don't think your friend (freeloader) has a substance problem or a gambling problem, I think she just has a money managment problem -- it sounds like she's living just beyond her means and doesn't know how to budget.

 

[rachlou]

Sorry Misty--but you don't have a friend there--you have a sponge--and not one with square pants either.

You have gone way beyond the call of duty in being a friend. Now it stops here.

Besides, a real friend wouldn't do such things repeatedly.

I agree, she's no friend of yours. She's taking advantage of your kindness and generosity and basically stomping all over you. Next time she's rings and asks to 'borrow' some cash, tell her you're sorry but you can't afford it any more. Once she realises she's lost her cash cow, you won't see/hear from her anymore. Porbably for the best.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I've never borrowed money from my friends. Well, I borrowed $10 on one occasion in 1974.

Trifles are okay, I think. There are times when all of us come up a dollar short at the cash register. I loan my tools.

 

[SensualCealy]

Still...the thought is...call when you need me...AND...when you don't NEED my money. Especially when I have so little.

Have you ever said that to her? Its one thing to be a friend, its another thing to be used as an ATM!

As a great Litezine once said, time to NUT-UP and lay down some 'friend' rules.
C

 

[DesertPirate]

Sorry Misty--but you don't have a friend there--you have a sponge--and not one with square pants either.

You have gone way beyond the call of duty in being a friend. Now it stops here.

Besides, a real friend wouldn't do such things repeatedly.

I don't think your friend (freeloader) has a substance problem or a gambling problem, I think she just has a money managment problem -- it sounds like she's living just beyond her means and doesn't know how to budget.

I suspect the real answer is here
You are right to say no

Grace, that AV made my tongue hard

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Grace, that AV made my tongue hard

i'm glad you like it lol

 

[galaxygoddess]

let me explain my husband.

He was a drunk. He was a drug abuser. He was a spendaholic.

He borrowed money from anyone that would listen to his sob story. I don't know of anyone he borrowed money from that KNEW he was an addict. Or that knew he was abusive.

One of my last straws with him was the fact in order to borrow money he told his bosses that I was pregnant. Then told me to keep my mouth shut about it.

Then he got fired, and tried to use my "pregnancy" aginst the company. Then got his new job based on "have to support my pregnant wife". Then when he wanted a vacation, he told his boss that I had miscarried. Then proceeeded to make me go to work anyway, just "duck my head down" on the way home incase we passed a co-worker.



what I'm getting at, is that your "friend" has a problem and has probably lied to you way more than you could possibly know. I'm not saying she has, I don't know the person. But seriously, think about it. Before you give her another thing. think about it.


When anyone would deny him money, he would go into rampages about how dare they. How dare they deny us money, how dare they look us "poor suffering people" in the face and deny us money. When I pointed out he was lying to them, well... let's just say it wasn't pretty for me.

 

[Boxlicker101]

let me explain my husband.

He was a drunk. He was a drug abuser. He was a spendaholic.

He borrowed money from anyone that would listen to his sob story. I don't know of anyone he borrowed money from that KNEW he was an addict. Or that knew he was abusive.

One of my last straws with him was the fact in order to borrow money he told his bosses that I was pregnant. Then told me to keep my mouth shut about it.

Then he got fired, and tried to use my "pregnancy" aginst the company. Then got his new job based on "have to support my pregnant wife". Then when he wanted a vacation, he told his boss that I had miscarried. Then proceeeded to make me go to work anyway, just "duck my head down" on the way home incase we passed a co-worker.



what I'm getting at, is that your "friend" has a problem and has probably lied to you way more than you could possibly know. I'm not saying she has, I don't know the person. But seriously, think about it. Before you give her another thing. think about it.


When anyone would deny him money, he would go into rampages about how dare they. How dare they deny us money, how dare they look us "poor suffering people" in the face and deny us money. When I pointed out he was lying to them, well... let's just say it wasn't pretty for me.

Your husband - hopefully an ex-husband by now - sounds like a world-class asshole.

However, since Misty's "friend" is always able to pay her back, I am inclined to think she is a gambling addict, who gets in too deep somemes, and is able to catch up later. For one thing, it fits the pattern and, for another, there are casinos nearby.

She might be a shopaholic who "just has to have" some expensive clothing or jewelry or similar thing. Or, she may have a high-maintenance boyfriend, which is the same kind of thing. I don't think it is booze or drugs, because she always pays it back.

 

[jomar]

I'm in the poor money management camp, but it could be other stuff. And yeah, not really a friend now, just an old college roommate who knows you have a big heart.

 

[galaxygoddess]

Your husband - hopefully an ex-husband by now - sounds like a world-class asshole.

However, since Misty's "friend" is always able to pay her back, I am inclined to think she is a gambling addict, who gets in too deep somemes, and is able to catch up later. For one thing, it fits the pattern and, for another, there are casinos nearby.

She might be a shopaholic who "just has to have" some expensive clothing or jewelry or similar thing. Or, she may have a high-maintenance boyfriend, which is the same kind of thing. I don't think it is booze or drugs, because she always pays it back.

I should have said ex lol

I haven't laid eyes on him since the day the bastard tried to kill me


But he actually did pay his debts back to certain people. Other people he acted like they should feel "privledged" for the "honor" to kiss his ass.

 

[Misty_Morning]

I'm in the poor money management camp, but it could be other stuff. And yeah, not really a friend now, just an old college roommate who knows you have a big heart.

.....

 

[SensualCealy]

A golden rule to point out is, Friends do not borrow money or work for Friends!

C

Glad you seem to be feeling better about your situation.
C

 

[ltnsfr007]

A golden rule to point out is, Friends do not borrow money or work for Friends!

C

Glad you seem to be feeling better about your situation.
C

OH REALY ?

Can you do the work for me then since you're sooooo handy