Kitty Carnage

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[Lady Reiha]

Today my kitty decided it be awesome to lie down on my face and have his fat little stomach try to suffocate me.
Did I mention he was purring the whole time he was doing this?

 

[rgraham666]

Gotta love cats. See? It says so right on the label.

 

[mellowgyrl]

Yuck! I have a hard enough time keeping my son from bringing me his recently picked boogers! If I had a cat bring me anything dead that would be cause for immediate eviction! I think I need a drink just thinking about you cleaning that mess! LMAO

 

[English Lady]

My sisters cat brings her presents regularly.

Mice, the odd rat oh and one time, a squirrel.

She doesn't kill birds, though. She likes to play with those, especially baby ones.

My sisters cat is eeeevil.

 

[Guest]

I used to live in a fairly secure apartment complex community, people left their windows open all the time. Unscreened.

My darling precious Persian thought the ultimate gift was a freshly beheaded hampster.

Considerately placed in the door of the kitchen, of course. She understood cooking.

 

[CrazyCatGuy]

Awww! they brought you a present... how nice!

My cat never brought me any presents tho i'm sure at that time my parents didn't mind

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[rgraham666]

I think you're talking about "pussy", Rob.

Entirely different thing.

Busted. http://bestsmileys.com/drooling/3.gif

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I'm with Rob.

Shortly after the nasty calico I once bought m'lady as a get-well-kitten finally shucked off this mortal husk, SHE announced that she wanted another. By then we had acquired a rat terrier and it had tallied up two pocket gophers, a black rat and a opossum. I looked at her quizically and asked after her fond feelings for kittens, given its probable low actuarial expectency with Pepper around. After some quiet thought, the desire for a new cat was never mentioned again. Phew!

 

[starrkers]

Randall presented me with a living, but somewhat mauled and very wet sparrow the other day. He was less than impressed when I ordered him and it outside again.

That was the day after I found a dead galah (medium sized pink and grey parrot) that one of the felines failed to drag through the cat flap.

But the best offering so far this year has been the very live brown snake that Billy chased through the camp and lost in the shack. For those that don't know Aussie brown snakes are number 2 or 3 on the world's most nasty list.

 

[Stella_Omega]

My cats like to do it in public.

years ago, I had a dinner party enlivened by my young cat bringing us his very first rat.
I scooped up the cat in my two hands-- he scooped up the rat in his two paws-- my husband ran ahead to open the door-- out he went, trailing a disconsolate "...Meow?"

And then there was the time I was hosting a brunch. I'd been up awfully late the night before, and woke up about a half-hour before people were supposed to start showing up. I stepped out and my front steps were covered with pale blue budgerigar feathers-- and a fluffy black cat with bird on his breath...

The "jellicals" are good hunters. And they like to bring their prey through the house-- but one cat will be chased by several other cats, so the parade usually goes right on through.

 

[blackhaus7]

Hey, Sarahh, it's been awhile since we've talked (even though I spent three hours last Wednesday withing spitting distance of you with a friend at the Tiger). We have another dog. Yellow Lab. Pre-owned.

We now have five acres of tall weeds behind us and the dog enjoys "hunting" back there. Mind you, this is a retriever who doesn't much like to retrieve tennis balls. (Unlike our previous Black Lab).

Well, Rusty and I are out for his morning walk and he heads into the tall weeds. The next thing I hear is a rustle and cackle and some damn bird flies into the window of the building I'm standing next to. The dog trots over to the bird and brings it to me with this most incredible proud look on his face.

So, how do you explain to a retriever that he just retrieved a hen pheasant? I don't have a current hunting license and we couldn't keep the bird anyway. And it's 6 am and I haven't had my coffee yet.

I have him drop the bird and we watch as she gathers her wits about her and finally flies away.

I have a dog that does it all. I don't even need a gun.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[The_Fool]

You were two streets away from me and you didn't even call?????

Well, I don't know whether to be ticked off or relieved, come to think of it.

Pffft. I drove right by...

 

[blackhaus7]

You were two streets away from me and you didn't even call?????

Well, I don't know whether to be ticked off or relieved, come to think of it.

Sorry about that.

I'll be in town next month. Want me to call then?

We sat at the Tiger, watched girls and the KU game. My friend was a K State grad.

Hey, Fool!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I have a dog that does it all. I don't even need a gun.

I had a German Wirehaired Pointer like that, years ago. She once jumped into a bush and jumped back out with a young jackrabbit and while later went out in the back yard and came back with a morning dove. We were walking around a shooting preserve, completely unarmed mind, when she dashed out and came back with a chukar partridge. Saved me a lot of money in shotshells, ol' Cookie did.

 

[The_Fool]

Sorry about that.

I'll be in town next month. Want me to call then?

We sat at the Tiger, watched girls and the KU game. My friend was a K State grad.

Hey, Fool!

Hey.....

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[CrazyCatGuy]

more kitty stories and less thread-jack!!! ahem... >_> <_< >_>

 

[human_male]

Well they are predators. Those pointy teeth aren't for show.

I hated when my cats killed wildlife but it happened from time to time.

 

[Mark_Ilaan]

I am still amazed.

We just got home, the kids and I. Just walked into the door. We were met by a couple of innocent-looking kitties sitting on the couch. Sweet faces. Happy faces.

We should have known something was up.

A few steps into the living room we found little black feathers. Lots of feathers. On the rug, on hubby's easy chair (ugh) scattered all around the room.

We followed the trail into the kitchen and found more feathers. Many more feathers. Most of the kitchen floor was covered with little shredded feathers.

And then? We found the bird. Or what was left of it after six cats ate it and then played tug-of-war with what was left for a couple of hours. I have no clue what sort of bird it was beyond a fairly small black and - some other colors. Grey? Brown?

Bleah.

Thing is, I'm not certain how they managed to catch it. We do have an outside kennel for the cats but it's completely enclosed. A bird would have to have gotten inside of that thing (and why would it want to do that???) in order for the cats to capture it.

But capture it they did.

What joyous gifts have you discovered today?

Your cats bring you gifts of fresh meat? All my sister's cat ever brings me are recycled hairballs. Worthless animal.

 

[TE999]

I had a British Blue female that brought in everything from lizards and toads to squirrels and chipmunks. She was lethal out there. Never ate them--just killed them and put them on the family room rug.

Guess who had to dispose of them?

She even brought an owl in once--a lil' screech owl--still alive. How she caught it I haven't a clue.
I turned it loose and it flew away. So she brought me a chipmunk to make up for it.

 

[Emerald_Dragon]

Gimli, (yes my husband named him Gimli) used to leave me presents on the front step all the time. Decapitated mice were a favorite. He also left me the parts that he didn't like, the innards, bird feet, squirrel tails.

I swear that it was our elderly neighbor that did him in. He used to go over there and stalk the birds at her million and one feeders.

 

[Mark_Ilaan]

Gimli, (yes my husband named him Gimli) used to leave me presents on the front step all the time. Decapitated mice were a favorite. He also left me the parts that he didn't like, the innards, bird feet, squirrel tails.

I swear that it was our elderly neighbor that did him in. He used to go over there and stalk the birds at her million and one feeders.

Bird feeders are home entertainment centers for cats.