Garage Sale (non-political)

[Lisa Denton]

I am getting ready to have a garage sale. I thought tomorrow or the next day, or both days. I had checked the weather temps which won't be too cold, just maybe chilly, but just now remembered I forgot to lookie to see if it was gonna be raining, which could be important. Mainly because I don't have a garage so my garage sale will be a driveway and yardsale, so rain could affect my massive sales expectations

I was working lots getting ready, cancelled some plans for later tonight because I had so much to do, but I am tired and taking a rest. It is hard to clean up all this junk .... uh .... I mean valuable stuffs. I spent an hour cleaning up an old space heater and only then realized I was expecting to ask about 2 dollars for it. I did the same with a outdoor barbeque grill thingie, and after all that work when I leaned it over to scoop out the yuckie burnt up crap I seen it looks like the bottom is rusting out. Its a good thing you can only see it from the bottom so I am still expecting to get a good amount from some unlucky grill buyer. I am not mean so I cleaned up my grill cleaner brush thingie, and threw it inside and am gonna give away my last unopened bag of charcoal to the lucky/unlucky person who buys it.

I am not sure about some things, whether to include them in my garage sale. Like I have two broken flashlights, I know they are broken because my brother replaced the batteries and the light bulbs and told me to throw them in the trash. I am very safety conscious and would never throw away a flashlight, and plus I figured who knows when you might need a broken flashlight so I kept them. Should I tell people they are broken? That could cut into my profits, or maybe I should just say I dunno maybe the batteries is dead. Then I realized honesty is expected in a garage sale, its an ethical delimma because I know people is gonna be arguing with me about how could I want 50 cents for something that they think is only worth a quarter.

Maybe it will be raining and I will have to cancel my huge garage sale and wait for another weekend, but I really want to get rid of some of this trash ... uh ... I mean stuff.

Anybody have any ideas about the ethical etiquette of garage sales, I don't want to lie to people, but I also don't want to actually come out and say I am selling this stuff because it's worthless broken trash.

 

[lisa123414]

Hey baby,
throw away your worthless, broken trash and sell your unwashed panties instead. That way you will be giving peoples what they want, and even though in your mind you might feel you're ripping folks off, anybody that will buy 'em will be happy.

 

[Ǽltya]

Hey baby,
throw away your worthless, broken trash and sell your unwashed panties instead. That way you will be giving peoples what they want, and even though in your mind you might feel you're ripping folks off, anybody that will buy 'em will be happy.

And she may get more money.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Yea, I'm sitting here trying to fix a broken key ring right now while I read this.

It's a marlboro key ring with a bottle opener attached, and I was thinking maybe I could get a dollar for it and then realized WTF good is a bottle opener and where the hell did I get this worthless key ring.

BRB. I gotta go throw this in the trash.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Its amazing what stuff you can find as you clear other stuff out of the way, I just found a nifty lil hand-held vacuum cleaner with pen light that plugs into a USB port. I vacuumed my keyboard with it, cool, I dunno if I want to sell this.

 

[fieryjen]

Its amazing what stuff you can find as you clear other stuff out of the way, I just found a nifty lil hand-held vacuum cleaner with pen light that plugs into a USB port. I vacuumed my keyboard with it, cool, I dunno if I want to sell this.

Cool I want one.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Cool I want one.

Great!!! I have a customer for my garage sale already even before the spectacular Grand Opening ceremonies commence.

I took a look in the attic, OMGosh there is a lots of boxes up there. I forgot what all is in them. If I find an old box of broken sex toys my garage sale could turn x-rated.

I am gonna start taking them down one at a time to lookie through them.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Lisa,

Garage Sales are not really about profit. They are really about moving your junk to someon elses garage so they can have a sale next week.

It's call "RECYCLING"

 

[Lisa Denton]

Lisa,

Garage Sales are not really about profit. They are really about moving your junk to someon elses garage so they can have a sale next week.

It's call "RECYCLING"

I know about those professional garage sale people, my sister-in-law warned me and a few years ago I had a garage sale and one turned up. She had come by earlier and just looked. Then at almost dark she came again and offered me some outrageously low amount for everything "so I wouldn't have to take it all back inside" and I told her hell no.

Then she started looking, making really low offers on stuff, there was a brand new electric mixer still in the box I never used. She said five dollars was too much because the box looked kinda crunched up. I was getting mad so I told her if she wanted a perfect box go pay thirty five dollars at Wal-mart.

When she looked at the price of something again and started complaining I told her for her I had a special discount, instead of half off everything was double the price marked.

She finally left.

 

[Lisa Denton]

I found a VHS player in the attic. I don't have any VHS tapes so the garage sale gets it.

I better look inside it and make sure there isn't a tape all stuck in there.

 

[trysail]

Garage sales are is "as is, where is" with no warranties whatsoever- caveat emptor, that's the American way. Having said that, I don't think you ought to go out of your way to hide damages or disguise defects. That's just basic fair play and straight shootin'.

The way I see it, if you would otherwise throw something out, anything you get for it is money in the bank.

Good luck!

 

[Lisa Denton]

Garage sales are is "as is, where is" with no warranties whatsoever- caveat emptor, that's the American way. Having said that, I don't think you ought to go out of your way to hide damages or disguise defects. That's just basic fair play and straight shootin'.

The way I see it, if you would otherwise throw something out, anything you get for it is money in the bank.

Good luck!

Thanks Try, since I am finding more stuff than I ever expected it is looking good and I can tell people if something don't work, and maybe a handy-man or something could fix it, and I will still make some good money and clear out some space.

I have two tv's, one a small portable one and one big one and DVD players and a VHS player, a small table and two chairs, four freakin lamps because everbody gives me lamps (I dunno why) and now I am finding all kinds of small stuff that was behind that stuff.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Thanks Try, since I am finding more stuff than I ever expected it is looking good and I can tell people if something don't work, and maybe a handy-man or something could fix it, and I will still make some good money and clear out some space.

I have two tv's, one a small portable one and one big one and DVD players and a VHS player, a small table and two chairs, four freakin lamps because everbody gives me lamps (I dunno why) and now I am finding all kinds of small stuff that was behind that stuff.

You might do okay with those things, but I still agree with what some others have sait that you would make more money selling your unwashed panties. ETA: Especially if you had been wearing them while reading stories on Lit.

 

[bluebell]

Okay, Lisa. If you're really serious about it you're gonna have to sell your EZ Bake oven and all those knitted tissue box covers that old women have given you over the years. Oh, and the pack of icky highlighters that dried up five hundred years ago.
But not the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.
Never the Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.

I wonder if anyone would buy Dick Cheney at a garage sale? If he had a little orange sticker on his bottom that said "50 cents" ?

 

[TE999]

True story.

My wife dragged me to a Garage Sale several years ago, and while I was there I saw what looked like a brand new leaf blower for $10.00.

I offered the lady nine bucks and she said ok.

I got it home and it was new--hadn't even been unwrapped.

I found out later her husband had just bought it and she put it out in the sale by mistake.

I still have it too.

 

[Lisa Denton]

True story.

My wife dragged me to a Garage Sale several years ago, and while I was there I saw what looked like a brand new leaf blower for $10.00.

I offered the lady nine bucks and she said ok.

I got it home and it was new--hadn't even been unwrapped.

I found out later her husband had just bought it and she put it out in the sale by mistake.

I still have it too.

True Story

Guy see's a freakin rock at a garage sale, just a rock. He asks the lady why the hell are you selling a rock, she says its a pretty rock. He looks and agrees, gives her the two bucks.

Guy looks at the rock at home and thinks there is something inside there making it pretty, busts it open, one of the largest diamonds ever discovered.

If I bought a pretty rock at a garage sale it would prolly be toxic and kill me.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Oh well, me and my dog gotta go asleepin, wake up at the crack o dawn, say "fuck it" and sleep a few more hours, and then get up early and start the garage sale.

Maybe I will sell some rocks.

 

[TE999]

A few years back some doofus swiped moon rocks from a NASA museum and tried sellin' 'em on e-Bay. What a fool!

There's a gravel pit down the road that has all sorts of dandy rocks.

Maybe I'll have a yard sale.

Who knows what a moon rock looks like anyway.

 

[Lisa Denton]

A few years back some doofus swiped moon rocks from a NASA museum and tried sellin' 'em on e-Bay. What a fool!

There's a gravel pit down the road that has all sorts of dandy rocks.

Maybe I'll have a yard sale.

Who knows what a moon rock looks like anyway.

My sis-in-law gave me a pretty rock, she teaches rocks, but I am not gonna sell it.

Well, it is real cloudy and kinda cold but the sun is peekin out, I am gonna start the garage sale soon and start rakin in money. I got some change yesterday for when the people say they won't give me a dollar but how about 50 cents for stuff. I found two boxes of knick-nacks that are cute but not worth much.

If I make a million dollars I will take the entire AH to lunch sometime, maybe McDonalds or Wendy's, you know, something nice.

Wish me luck.

Lisa's Garage Sale and Used Broken Sex Toy Boutique is now open for business.

 

[jomar]

Try to sell it all. What doesn't sell, donate to Goodwill or AmVets or some charity that will take it and get a tax write off.

Good luck.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Try to sell it all. What doesn't sell, donate to Goodwill or AmVets or some charity that will take it and get a tax write off.

Good luck.

The organization may not be interested in the used sex toys, but maybe one of their employees will be.

 

[jomar]

The organization may not be interested in the used sex toys, but maybe one of their employees will be.

You don't think those would be first to go at the garage sale?

 

[Boxlicker101]

You don't think those would be first to go at the garage sale?

Probably, especially if Lisa is the one doing the selling. Women may not be interested, but men will be.

 

[colddiesel]

Best tip for a sale. If you have kids get them to do the selling. Girls aged under 10 can ask twice as much as an adult and get away with it mainly because adults (men in particular) just cannot bring themselves to dissapoint the innocent little kid.-- and the kids exploit that weakness brilliantly.

My small daughter cleaned up at my last garage sale. But she then took her dad for 25% of the gross!!

 

[Boxlicker101]

Best tip for a sale. If you have kids get them to do the selling. Girls aged under 10 can ask twice as much as an adult and get away with it mainly because adults (men in particular) just cannot bring themselves to dissapoint the innocent little kid.-- and the kids exploit that weakness brilliantly.

My small daughter cleaned up at my last garage sale. But she then took her dad for 25% of the gross!!

It might not be a good idea to have the little girls selling the sex toys, though.