S/O Is there something you HAVE done in your life that you truly wish you hadn't?

[HottieMama]

Spinoff of Cat's thread...

What have you done that you truly regret?

 

[catalina_francisco]

The short version is I wish I had not listened to the messages my mother fed me daily from early childhood which shaped much of my life to a significant age, and sometimes still do. I was fortunate enough I eventually altered one of those messages to eradicate it from my life enough to return to finish my schooling while a single mum in my 30's, then go onto University to study fulltime for my degree while still a single mum living below the poverty line and in and out of hospital myself, as well as fighting to ignore the negative and at times abusive views of my family about my doing it. I will never forget the day I was so ill and low in spirit I needed some encouragement to get me through the last few exams for that final term of my 4 year degree (and I was topping my classes despite my problems) only to be greeted by a 'why don't you just give it up, you'll feel much better'. I didn't give it up and for that I felt a lot better once I could feel again.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

Non, je ne regrette rien. I know it's hard to believe..but I really don't. The things that have taken place in my life have made me who I am today. I believe every situation is an opportunity to learn whether it turns out good or bad. I've learned from a lot of mistakes..lol.

 

[littleone77]

I do my best never to regret anything. I made the best decision I could at the time, and even hindsight cannot alter that.

I look at it as I had to choose what I did to learn from the experience. Plus, sometimes what we regret the most is what we didn't do. I hate the not knowing.

 

[myinnerslut]

funny this should come up, i was just talking to somebody about this earlier. so instead of re-typing it all im going to copy and paste, with a little editing for privacy, what i wrote this mornign. (just my opinion, its not ment to attack or insult anybody who says they have no regrets. they just have a different feeling on the topic then i do)

i dont think anybody really has no regrets. they may not be major regrets, but i think everyone had something that they wish they could have done differently.

i have a few regrets of my own. not big massive ones, but regrets non the less.

i regret not following up on the social action project i started and handing the reigns over to somebody else. now its an international project active in at least four countries i can think of right now, ive been written about in two books and featured on a social action website, but except for an ocassional call about the idea or how to start something in a speciafic area, im really not involved in it anymore.

i regret the way things were handled with a best friend of mine whose friendship meant a lot to me, and i regret never getting a chance to see if it would work with him.

i regret spending so much time and effort hiding the fact that i was sick from everyone who wanted to help me becuase i was embarresed and scared.

just a few. not major life changing things, but regrets.

 

[littleone77]

i dont think anybody really has no regrets. they may not be major regrets, but i think everyone had something that they wish they could have done differently.

I think a lot depends on how you define a regret. Wishing you did something differently versus honestly wishing you had never done it at all are two very different things.

I most certainly think that there are things that I could have done differently. Made it a bit better etc. BUT, revisiting things that are done and over with, totally in your past makes no sense to me. Its done, its over with and you need to move on. You can't change what already is.

I honestly do not have something in my past that I wish I hadn't done at all. I made the best decision I could at the time. I didn't know the outcome at the moment. Even the decisions which sucked and hurt me, ult. gave me something even better than what I started with. Knowing that, a true regret is not possible for me. In my own lil twisted world, there are no mistakes.

 

[HottieMama]

mis...i agree with you in that i think everyone has at least *small* regrets.

i regret not making an effort to fly back to Philly to spend time with my best friend 2 yrs ago. He's passed away and i'll never have that chance again.

i regret staying with my ex for as long as i did.

i regret ever putting a pic thread up here at Lit. i did it for the completely wrong reasons and all it caused for me was problems. "He" never cared if i was pretty anyway, so why did i try so hard to prove it to him?

 

[myinnerslut]

I think a lot depends on how you define a regret. Wishing you did something differently versus honestly wishing you had never done it at all are two very different things.

I most certainly think that there are things that I could have done differently. Made it a bit better etc. BUT, revisiting things that are done and over with, totally in your past makes no sense to me. Its done, its over with and you need to move on. You can't change what already is.

I honestly do not have something in my past that I wish I hadn't done at all. I made the best decision I could at the time. I didn't know the outcome at the moment. Even the decisions which sucked and hurt me, ult. gave me something even better than what I started with. Knowing that, a true regret is not possible for me. In my own lil twisted world, there are no mistakes.

i see that reasoning. and it makes sense to me. i just have a very loose definition of the word regret. it doesnt mean a huge end of the world thing, just something you wish you could have done a little diferently. and by *my* definition of regret, i cant see how anybody doesnt have a single one. its just part of life. anybody who says they have no regrets according to *my* definition of the word, i see as at least a little fake.

with that being said, i understand i have a VERY loose definition of the word that doesnt match up with many other peoples definitions. i am not calling anyone on here a fake just becuase we dont agree on semantics.

if you or anybody else feels that you have no regrets according to your definition of it then go ahead, i dont see anything wrong with that. im actually a bit jelouse.

 

[littleone77]

if you or anybody else feels that you have no regrets according to your definition of it then go ahead, i dont see anything wrong with that. im actually a bit jelouse.

I just have a weird life view mis. I'm a Fatalist. Meaning that every little thing from marriage to sneezing 7 times in a row is planned ahead of time, the past and the future is already set in stone. Ya, I realize that makes no sense to most people but it works for me

And diversity makes life so much more interesting~

 

[myinnerslut]

And diversity makes life so much more interesting~

that it does

 

[nh23]

i see that reasoning. and it makes sense to me. i just have a very loose definition of the word regret. it doesnt mean a huge end of the world thing, just something you wish you could have done a little diferently. and by *my* definition of regret, i cant see how anybody doesnt have a single one. its just part of life. anybody who says they have no regrets according to *my* definition of the word, i see as at least a little fake.

with that being said, i understand i have a VERY loose definition of the word that doesnt match up with many other peoples definitions. i am not calling anyone on here a fake just becuase we dont agree on semantics.

if you or anybody else feels that you have no regrets according to your definition of it then go ahead, i dont see anything wrong with that. im actually a bit jelouse.

By your definition I have regrets then. There are things I wish I hadn't done..but with the way I see the word regret..I have none. Does that make sense?

 

[myinnerslut]

By your definition I have regrets then. There are things I wish I hadn't done..but with the way I see the word regret..I have none. Does that make sense?

it makes perfect sense. how do you define regret, btw?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I used to also think there was no such thing as regretting things, feeling it was what made me who I am, done and couldn't be changed, and all those cliches which for awhile make you feel better. For the most part they do shape who you are, not always for the best, and when it is at the hands of another not necessarily good. I think my thinking on it began when I went back to my education...one of my favourite teachers (history) was forever lamenting my circumstances for although I basically excelled at the subject, he felt strongly about the fact that if I had not had all the other issues to deal with and weigh me down physically, mentally, and spiritually I could have been anything I could have dreamed of...and he was right. My present health which is not going to greatly improve if at all is a direct result of my life and the challenges it threw my way one after the other. Yes, it helped make me the strong person so many admire, but it also has robbed me of my health and the chance to enjoy the rest of my life to the extent many do and I long to. It is a huge regret and perhaps if I had of been able to see through the myths earlier, or never been exposed to them, my life would have been so completely different, as would have been my children's.

Catalina

 

[Wyldfire]

Oh yeah I do. Two of my three past carreers are huge regrets.

 

[nh23]

it makes perfect sense. how do you define regret, btw?

Regret is distress of mind, sorrow for what has been done or failed to be done. I may look back at times and wish I had done things a different way..but I don't dwell on them..I don't let it distress me. I look at now..and what I've learned from the past.

 

[EmpressFi]

i regret giving up piano lessons

i regret not letting my mother present me with my high school diploma

I regret letting my first love's (not sex, but love) mother believe that her son and I slept together

I regret that I didnt believe in myself enough to stop myself from marrying someone just because he asked

I regret that I once tried to convince myself that life without passion was ok

I regret that instead of telling my (ex)husband that I'd made a mistake, I cheated on him.

I regret the two years I lost with my best friend while I listened to someone else's manipulative lies...

 

[malinborn]

i try to regret nothing but i do.. but the only thing that i think i regret most is trusting too much... mostly trusting my parents, my father, knew what he was talking about.. making my life hell for years

 

[HottieMama]

I regret that I once tried to convince myself that life without passion was ok

i can TOTALLY empathize with that one.

 

[Netzach]

I wish I could have ended things like more of a mensch with my vanilla ex, I let it go on too long and that wasn't fair to him.

I wish I had stuck to my guns and not taken a lot of the stupid jobs in my stupid resume.

 

[intothewoods]

Yes, there is.

 

[marieR19]

*blinks*

Um..... Well, I TRY not to actually regret anything. One of those "it's in the past, I can't change it, so why regret it?" type of things.

But as soon as I saw this thread, a certain stupid thing came to mind that I will forever regret. Even though it didn't actually end up happening.... I planned a sex-only fling with my ex, Maudree, while I was in a very serious relationship with Beth. Not that bad, you say? I talked to Maudree on the phone every single night, literally begging her to let me be her fuck-toy, just so I could be near her. I was completely obsessed with her. And she hurt me so bad, broke my heart sooooo many times, and yet I kept doing it. And Maudree was a huge problem between Beth and I already, 'cause I'd had a whole big thing where I'd wanted to go back to her and couldn't decide between the two... Even though I never actually had sex with Maudree while I was with Beth, the things we DID do (talking about it, cybering, how much I begged for it)... it broke my heart when I finally told Beth, hearing how hurt she was.

I'll regret that forever. Hell, most days I regret even knowing Maudree. She put me through hell. *sigh*

Anyways.


Heather

 

[northwoods_sub]

Here is my view on regret. If I changed or regreted anything about my past I would not be who I am or where I am today. In order for me to accept who I am now I have to accept who I was then and the decision that I made. Sure I may regret that I didn't save that money instead of spending it on new shoes, but that is not a life changing decision.

I can't regret marrying my first husband because then I wouldn't have my oldest son
I can't regret leaving said marriage because then I wouldn't of met my second husband even though he was an abusive asshole
but see if I didn't meet him I wouldn't of felt the need to leave him and have the ability to go to Texas for job training and meet my Sir
which then led to my youngest son, and my ability to go to college and so on and so forth.

See no real regrets. (because they are really cute shoes!)

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Regret? Waiting so long...

 

[Felix_Jones]

Spinoff of Cat's thread...

What have you done that you truly regret?

I beat up a guy in front of his girlfriend like five years ago. He was just mouthing off, I should have let it slide. She had to get between us for me to stop.

 

[Primalex]

Boy, how do I hate bumped threads