Passing reference to naked children, advice needed

[Writer61]

My WIP include the MMC visiting the FMC at a commune where nudity is the norm, except he does not know that before he arrives.

In the set-up to that revelation, I would like to reference two small children playing naked in the front garden. Also, in a later scene where the whole group, adults + those two children, eat a meal together.

I will not make any reference to them in connection with sexual activity (as per the content guidelines).

I know they could be entirely written out, and the situation could be conveyed in other ways, but I want to use them to establish how casual/normal the group's nudity is.

My concern is that even mentioning their presence/state of dress will be a problem. What do you think?

 

[ElectricBlue]

My concern is that even mentioning their presence/state of dress will be a problem. What do you think?

Don't in any way sexualise the scene, or dwell on the description of their nakedness. I'd limit the number of scenes, too, don't go on about them. Include a Note to the Editor, pointing out the context. You should be okay.

 

[Writer61]

Don't in any way sexualise the scene, or dwell on the description of their nakedness. I'd limit the number of scenes, too, don't go on about them. Include a Note to the Editor, pointing out the context. You should be okay.

I was thinking of something like:

As he drove up the driveway, he saw two naked children playing on the grass.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I was thinking of something like:

That's innocuous, and should be okay.

 

[nice90sguy]

That's innocuous, and should be okay.

It would raise an eyebrow with me. "Two naked children playing on the grass" could have slightly erotic overtones for someone with pedo inclinations -- but I wouldnt expect it to be enough to trigger a rejection

 

[TheLobster]

You can replace playing with something 100% innocuous like running. But generally I believe EB is right: a passing reference, within more than a few hundred words from a sex scene, should be perfectly fine.

 

[Writer61]

It would raise an eyebrow with me. "Two naked children playing on the grass" could have slightly erotic overtones for someone with pedo inclinations -- but I wouldnt expect it to be enough to trigger a rejection

Good point, I will use that.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

My WIP include the MMC visiting the FMC at a commune where nudity is the norm, except he does not know that before he arrives.

In the set-up to that revelation, I would like to reference two small children playing naked in the front garden. Also, in a later scene where the whole group, adults + those two children, eat a meal together.

I will not make any reference to them in connection with sexual activity (as per the content guidelines).

I know they could be entirely written out, and the situation could be conveyed in other ways, but I want to use them to establish how casual/normal the group's nudity is.

My concern is that even mentioning their presence/state of dress will be a problem. What do you think?

If it were me writing the scenes mentioned, I would "hear" the sounds of children rather than seeing them. It establishes their presence in a context much more likely to pass muster on this site.

 

[Writer61]

If it were me writing the scenes mentioned, I would "hear" the sounds of children rather than seeing them. It establishes their presence in a context much more likely to pass muster on this site.

I take the point, but in a car, he might not hear the sound, and if they are not visible, it does not work as part of the setup.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I prefer the south pacific island, Nokids Atoll

 

[Writer61]

I prefer the sooth pacific island, Nokids Atoll

I have a whole series planned that focuses on such a place.

 

[Writer61]

Why do there seem to be so many who try to find ways to include children in these kinda stories? Why? @Writer61 knows the rules like everyone else, but wants a handful of bad people to tell him it’s okay
There are various ways to show a situation is normal; guy with a briefcase wearing nothing but a hat etc etc
Quickest solution would be to stop those who find ways to talk about a banned subject from publishing stories

I am using them to set a scenario where casual nudity is the norm.

As should be clear from my OP, the whole point is to NOT break the rules, and the people who have responded have done so thoughtfully. They are not "bad people".

 

[Writer61]

I am using them to set a scenario where casual nudity is the norm.

As should be clear from my OP, the whole point is to NOT break the rules, and the people who have responded have done so thoughtfully. They are not "bad people".

EDIT: @MiaBabe23 I see that you have thought better of insulting a group of writers. That is something, but an apology is in order, so I am going to leave your words here until one is made.

 

[Writer61]

Nope. Thoroughly stand by what I said
Just suspected there would be little point in engaging in discussion with you, and your attempt to insult me shows I was right
What a surprise…

What insult? I have not insulted you, nor has anyone else.

What attempt to engage? You just posted an insult to everybody else in this thread. You could have made your point without doing so.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Nope. Thoroughly stand by what I said

As do I. There is NO reason to mention kids.

There are INFINITE other ways to establish the norm in question.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

As we approached, an idyllic park scene presented itself. Picnickers, some Bocci ball, children playing under the watchful eye of their parents, even a groundskeeper or two. Just like any other park in any other town, with one exception. There were no clothes, anywhere.

 

[Writer61]

It seems fairly self-evident that people who dedicate considerable effort to discussing ways of including people in these stories who clearly shouldn’t be in these stories have concerning attitudes - hence the phrase ‘bad people’
I see too that there’s only one person who’s commented on this thread so far who I didn’t have on ignore, (the rest presumably are because of regular attempts to discuss underage), and you chose to pretend not to understand the point being made
That’s something else for you to reflect on
The other reason I removed my comment is I don’t want u/a discussion appearing on my topic list. Hence I’m going to add you to my ignore list too

One post and a few responses = "a considerable effort". No wonder your contribution to this is a single audio recording of someone's work.

I have reflected a lot on your comments and concluded that:

• you could probably be offended by the weather forecast
• you are unable to comprehend the English language accurately
• only snowflakes block people that they disagree with

 

[BobbyBrandt]

It seems fairly self-evident that people who dedicate considerable effort to discussing ways of including people in these stories who clearly shouldn’t be in these stories have concerning attitudes - hence the phrase ‘bad people’

I can understand your position with the way that the OP wants to write a story where observing naked children is mentioned. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the need for that as well when there are so many other ways to creatively incorporate the concept of them being present.

And, underage characters in a story can have a place if done properly. Just don't objectify or sexualize them by having them naked, or similar.

It likely won't pass, and if it does, it will almost certainly get reported by someone.

 

[jsmiam]

The “why” question overrides all. How important can that detail possibly be to the story?

Nonetheless, the MC can “look out the window and see naked people of all ages and shapes and sizes.” Period. That’s how it could be said.

Anyone who’s ever actually been to a nudist colony will instantly visualize the likely reality, mostly an older/mature crowd, hardly any hot pro-sand-volleyball goddess types, all carrying their towels (how “free” is that, but I digress), many of them in golf carts. So there’s some obfuscation.

As a sidenote, nudists aren’t all naive and trusting. Smart ones keep kids away for obvious safety reasons. Maybe you should too.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Anyone who’s ever actually been to a nudist colony will instantly visualize the likely reality, mostly an older/mature crowd, hardly any hot pro-sand-volleyball goddess types, all carrying their towels (how “free” is that, but I digress), many of them in golf carts. So there’s some obfuscation.

Curses ! Foiled Again!!

 

[Writer61]

As do I. There is NO reason to mention kids.

There are INFINITE other ways to establish the norm in question.

Except that I want to describe a domestic setting, not a park or a nudist colony.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

"My WIP include the MMC visiting the FMC at a commune where nudity is the norm, ... "

Communes are normally parks or colonies in nature.

Adapt the example passage to your desire setting.

 

[Writer61]

Communes are normally parks or colonies in nature.

For a good reason, this is a house.

 

[Writer61]

We should probably bring this discussion to a close.

I appreciate all your advice and respect all your opinions. When the draft is complete, I will have another look at how I communicate the presence of children in a commune where nudity is the norm.

As I said in the OP, I will not make any reference to them in connection with sexual activity (as per the content guidelines).

For those who groundlessly impute ill intent on my part: NOR DO I WISH TO IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

 

[NotWise]

If I felt compelled to include the children, then I'd establish that nudity is the norm in the commune before mentioning the children. I'd then not point out that the kids are also nude. That would be asking for trouble.