How NOT to Get Lit Laid- A Parody Thread

[kreemi_pi]

Start saying racist stuff before asking if i'm into race play (i'm not...sorry guys )

 

[kreemi_pi]

Oh i like this thread

 

[kreemi_pi]

"Female?"

 

[kreemi_pi]

Walk up to attractive women while wanking your cock.

I really hope you didn't learn that the "hard" way

 

[Apisto42]

Lead with "a/s/l?"

My reply would be “are you having a stroke?” Cause I have no idea what that means.

Of course asking if they’re stroking out might be misconstrued…

 

[pmichael]

Be nice, open and straightforward. Been working for me these past few years.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Hang testicles from the hitch on your pickup

 

[kreemi_pi]

My reply would be “are you having a stroke?” Cause I have no idea what that means.

Of course asking if they’re stroking out might be misconstrued…

Age/sex/location

 

[kreemi_pi]

Hang testicles from the hitch on your pickup

You mean the fake ones, or your own

 

[Hornymwtxn]

You mean the fake ones, or your own

Fake ones go on the hitch. Real ones hang from the rear view mirror

 

[SimonSex]

Fly the Stars and Bars behind your pickup truck with a lift kit, have facial hair that looks like pubic hair and walk like you got something going on, even though you know you’re hung like a light switch.

 

[Oralexplorer]

hung like a light switch.

Ohh that's priceless..

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Explain your theory on how Doc McStuffins has conjured up this entire world where she heals stuffed animals as a way to cope with her guilt from causing her brother's death.

 

[Neanderthal247]

By saying exactly what you're thinking, just like I do

 

[Apisto42]

By saying exactly what you're thinking, just like I do

Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have told her that I thought she was a fucking idiot with a lot of hangups.

 

[Neanderthal247]

Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have told her that I thought she was a fucking idiot with a lot of hangups.

Definitely too harsh, but I think you do well for yourself

 

[kreemi_pi]

Eat lots of virtual garlic

 

[Xxllrs69xx]

Tell them you are a billionaire. Have multiple houses, a yacht and only drive Ferrari.

You frequent this site because you are bored.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Instead of reading her poetry, read from The Silmarillion

 

[Trubbycat]

Quote obscure 1970s Marvel Comics moments at this he singles bar.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Show her your action figure collection

 

[SimonSex]

Dick pick intro PMs FTW!

 

[Trubbycat]

A handmade sign saying I NEED SEX while walking back and forth on a busy street.

 

[takingbacksunday]

*fedora wearing man has entered the thread*

Miladies (tips fedora)

 

[Jodaily]

Trying to explain how your sister is your mom and your brother is your son, and how uncle loved playing hide the sausage with you at 4.