Cheaters unite

[Man4mystery]

For all of you that have cheated on your significant other….was it worth it? My affair is ongoing and my gf does not have a clue. Things are the same at home except I’m hornier, it’s helped our sex life

 

[PotNoodle79]

Ugh

 

[Man4mystery]

Ugh

Ugh? Talk to me explain the ugh

 

[AmberLGreen]

Why do you feel the need to cheat?
What is missing in your home life?
What does your mistress give you that your girlfriend doesn’t?
What would you do if you found out she was cheating?

No judgement. People have their own reasons for doing what they do in their lives. Just interested in the mind set

 

[Man4mystery]

Why do you feel the need to cheat?
What is missing in your home life?
What does your mistress give you that your girlfriend doesn’t?
What would you do if you found out she was cheating?

No judgement. People have their own reasons for doing what they do in their lives. Just interested in the mind set

I don’t know why, it just happened. I guess my will power, lack of sex at home and when we do it, it’s the same, the way I felt when she brushed up against me…
We meet once every two weeks, mistress is more experienced, have done things I’ve only dreamt about that home never does…
If she found out, it would kill her…honestly can’t find a way to stop. Sounds stupid but the sex and the hormones keep bringing me back

 

[edi_ready]

This is tough. I have cheated, but it was because we were both stuck in a relationship where we had absolutely no sex life… at all. So my naughty partner and I provided something important and nourishing for each other. My moral self didn’t like it, but my wellbeing did. So, I made damn sure that even if I couldn’t be forgiven by my SO, I needed to be able to forgive myself, and live with myself. I think if my SO and I had an active sex life, my wellbeing wouldn’t have been so compromised, and I don’t think within myself I could have forgiven myself. If my naughty partner had a sex life with her husband, I also might have backed out.

That’s my input, in a nutshell.

 

[edi_ready]

Also, that fact that you’re asking is making me think you’re questioning yourself. And seeing how we might respond. Am I right in this? Are you feeling a bit uncertain?

 

[Man4mystery]

This is tough. I have cheated, but it was because we were both stuck in a relationship where we had absolutely no sex life… at all. So my naughty partner and I provided something important and nourishing for each other. My moral self didn’t like it, but my wellbeing did. So, I made damn sure that even if I couldn’t be forgiven by my SO, I needed to be able to forgive myself, and live with myself. I think if my SO and I had an active sex life, my wellbeing wouldn’t have been so compromised, and I don’t think within myself I could have forgiven myself. If my naughty partner had a sex life with her husband, I also might have backed out.

That’s my input, in a nutshell.

Totally agree. My mistress is divorced. My moral compass is still there. I know it’s wrong every time I think about it then my sexuality takes over. Then I come home, flip a switch like it never happened. As far as forgiving myself…i don’t think that will ever happen

 

[edi_ready]

You’re very honest… but then… not!

(not judging btw)

 

[Man4mystery]

Also, that fact that you’re asking is making me think you’re questioning yourself. And seeing how we might respond. Am I right in this? Are you feeling a bit uncertain?

Yes and no. I question it all the time, I am uncertain. Yes looking for other experiences, other people’s stories. Like alcohol anonymous kinda.
Hi I’m Mike and I cheated on my SO, it’s been two weeks since my last encounter

 

[Man4mystery]

You’re very honest… but then… not!

(not judging btw)

I know you’re not judging. My mind is a mess

 

[edi_ready]

I hear you. I believe that you need to look after yourself. You’re essentially saying that you’re doing something that you will find hard (or even impossible) to forgive yourself for. This is a risk to you, because you could end up not liking yourself anymore, and that’s a long, hard road to travel to get home again. Are you continuing to do something that feels like it might be harming you? Trust me, I’ve spent time with, and helped people who don’t value themselves anymore, and who don't think they deserve to be loved anymore, and it’s an awful position to find oneself.

You also say your mind is a mess and it’s confusing. Your body is telling you one thing, making you crave it, making you try and choose between your morals and your bodily desire. You risk losing a lot, in order to satiate a craving for a better variety of sex. But you, your wife and your lover are human beings, and none of you are boxes of chocolates. You all deserve your dignity and your happiness.

Speaking for myself, I found myself asking whether “if I don’t do this for myself, and provide myself with what this person is offering me then am I going to wither away into nothingness?” (feeling wanted, desired, given attention, worthy, feeling attractive, regaining my self esteem, stopping the awful feeling of hollowness as my sexuality ebbed away forever, losing my masculinity, being treated like a valued human being for a change) And my answer to this question was that I truly needed it, for my mental and physical wellbeing. I will always be able to give this answer… I will always be able to say “I chose me, when I needed to choose me!”. I forgive.

My heartfelt advice would be to contact a counsellor and give yourself the opportunity and dedicated space to figure it out. A good counsellor shouldn’t judge, and shouldn’t tell you what to do, but will facilitate this process for you, and give you guidance on how to decide for yourself.

It’s never too late to draw a line in the sand and say “You know what? I really needed that sex… I needed to experience all those different things! I needed her, she showed me that I am physically desirable! I needed that special connection.” but the question might be… do you still need it?

I hope that little piece doesn’t sound condescending… not meant to be ‘mansplaining’. I guess I just wanted to ask it of you and write it down how it seems and what happened for me.

 

[Man4mystery]

I hear you. I believe that you need to look after yourself. You’re essentially saying that you’re doing something that you will find hard (or even impossible) to forgive yourself for. This is a risk to you, because you could end up not liking yourself anymore, and that’s a long, hard road to travel to get home again. Are you continuing to do something that feels like it might be harming you? Trust me, I’ve spent time with, and helped people who don’t value themselves anymore, and who don't think they deserve to be loved anymore, and it’s an awful position to find oneself.

You also say your mind is a mess and it’s confusing. Your body is telling you one thing, making you crave it, making you try and choose between your morals and your bodily desire. You risk losing a lot, in order to satiate a craving for a better variety of sex. But you, your wife and your lover are human beings, and none of you are boxes of chocolates. You all deserve your dignity and your happiness.

Speaking for myself, I found myself asking whether “if I don’t do this for myself, and provide myself with what this person is offering me then am I going to wither away into nothingness?” (feeling wanted, desired, given attention, worthy, feeling attractive, regaining my self esteem, stopping the awful feeling of hollowness as my sexuality ebbed away forever, losing my masculinity, being treated like a valued human being for a change) And my answer to this question was that I truly needed it, for my mental and physical wellbeing. I will always be able to give this answer… I will always be able to say “I chose me, when I needed to choose me!”. I forgive.

My heartfelt advice would be to contact a counsellor and give yourself the opportunity and dedicated space to figure it out. A good counsellor shouldn’t judge, and shouldn’t tell you what to do, but will facilitate this process for you, and give you guidance on how to decide for yourself.

It’s never too late to draw a line in the sand and say “You know what? I really needed that sex… I needed to experience all those different things! I needed her, she showed me that I am physically desirable! I needed that special connection.” but the question might be… do you still need it?

I hope that little piece doesn’t sound condescending… not meant to be ‘mansplaining’. I guess I just wanted to ask it of you and write it down how it seems and what happened for me.

I really appreciate this. Lots to think about