it is deep inside

kneelingagain

uncollared slave
Joined
Aug 16, 2025
Posts
110
There are times I try to move on and think this part of me is in the past but every time it comes back. There are aching and urges. I know it is deep inside me. It is part of my psyche. A part of my identity even when I can't explore and express it. It would be easier to go on without these submissive urges and the cravings for control but they will not wash away. I know that it is part of me. I cannot deny it, but I don't have an outlet for it at the moment either.

I have been told to make this confession here. Thank you for reading.

How do you deal with this part of your identity when you can't so actively explore it?
 
There are times I try to move on and think this part of me is in the past but every time it comes back. There are aching and urges. I know it is deep inside me. It is part of my psyche. A part of my identity even when I can't explore and express it. It would be easier to go on without these submissive urges and the cravings for control but they will not wash away. I know that it is part of me. I cannot deny it, but I don't have an outlet for it at the moment either.

I have been told to make this confession here. Thank you for reading.

How do you deal with this part of your identity when you can't so actively explore it?
It is a challenge, for sure, but you something that grounds you, directs your focus - focus on needs, classify them. And work achieving one of these needs… ultimately, you must carry this burden.. but it’s tough.. do you have clubs or groups you can join? Bdsm communities?
 
There are times I try to move on and think this part of me is in the past but every time it comes back. There are aching and urges. I know it is deep inside me. It is part of my psyche. A part of my identity even when I can't explore and express it. It would be easier to go on without these submissive urges and the cravings for control but they will not wash away. I know that it is part of me. I cannot deny it, but I don't have an outlet for it at the moment either.

I have been told to make this confession here. Thank you for reading.

How do you deal with this part of your identity when you can't so actively explore it?
I know this feeling well
 
There are times I try to move on and think this part of me is in the past but every time it comes back. There are aching and urges. I know it is deep inside me. It is part of my psyche. A part of my identity even when I can't explore and express it. It would be easier to go on without these submissive urges and the cravings for control but they will not wash away. I know that it is part of me. I cannot deny it, but I don't have an outlet for it at the moment either.

I have been told to make this confession here. Thank you for reading.

How do you deal with this part of your identity when you can't so actively explore it?
It sounds as though you are suffering. I’m sorry for that. I can empathise to some extent. I have struggled with my gender identity and my submissive nature for most of my life (since adolescence at least). I’m not sure o have any answers for you but I have learned to become more accepting of the times when I want to unleash those aspects of me. There are other times when they get in the way of the other things I want to do in life. At those times, I have to put my desires to one side, knowing that they will always be there, ready to surge up again.

I wished you pleasure and peace and hope you find some solace and some joy.

Polly xx
 
I do the same…promise myself I am not coming back, etc…but then I eventually return. If I were younger and single I would probably explore a bit but it’s difficult. My submissive fantasies have made me feel guilty but I am hoping to come more to terms with them. Being on here helps if nothing more than to realize you are not alone. For me, these feelings have been with me for years, in fact since I was quite young. Ironically, in real life I have never been promiscuous (not judging those who are, just was never for me) and am more “girl next door” for anyone to ever guess what lies beneath…the sub feelings ebb and flow, but the undercurrent is always there…
 
I do the same…promise myself I am not coming back, etc…but then I eventually return. If I were younger and single I would probably explore a bit but it’s difficult. My submissive fantasies have made me feel guilty but I am hoping to come more to terms with them. Being on here helps if nothing more than to realize you are not alone. For me, these feelings have been with me for years, in fact since I was quite young. Ironically, in real life I have never been promiscuous (not judging those who are, just was never for me) and am more “girl next door” for anyone to ever guess what lies beneath…the sub feelings ebb and flow, but the undercurrent is always there…
I hope you can shed your guilt. Here on Lit you get a good education about the wildly disparate paths sexuality can take. Let your fantasies take off. And embrace your real life as well. You're human.
 
There are times I try to move on and think this part of me is in the past but every time it comes back. There are aching and urges. I know it is deep inside me. It is part of my psyche. A part of my identity even when I can't explore and express it. It would be easier to go on without these submissive urges and the cravings for control but they will not wash away. I know that it is part of me. I cannot deny it, but I don't have an outlet for it at the moment either.

I have been told to make this confession here. Thank you for reading.

How do you deal with this part of your identity when you can't so actively explore it?

I do the same…promise myself I am not coming back, etc…but then I eventually return. If I were younger and single I would probably explore a bit but it’s difficult. My submissive fantasies have made me feel guilty but I am hoping to come more to terms with them. Being on here helps if nothing more than to realize you are not alone. For me, these feelings have been with me for years, in fact since I was quite young. Ironically, in real life I have never been promiscuous (not judging those who are, just was never for me) and am more “girl next door” for anyone to ever guess what lies beneath…the sub feelings ebb and flow, but the undercurrent is always there…
@Beth35s and @kneelingagain if you both need to discuss how you feel further then please PM me. I would love to help explore this more with you both
 
I can relate to some parts of your post and others confuse me.

You could say that July 2007 was the month I accepted who I am, and signing up here was a result. Before that, there was inner turmoil because of the disconnect between how I wanted to treat women and how society said I should treat them. Honestly, I struggle to understand your problem. Women being submissive and pleasing men? Please, join the history-of-mankind queue over there. So what is there to move on from? Or is this about moving on from cheating on your partner with dominants?
 
I do the same…promise myself I am not coming back, etc…but then I eventually return. If I were younger and single I would probably explore a bit but it’s difficult. My submissive fantasies have made me feel guilty but I am hoping to come more to terms with them. Being on here helps if nothing more than to realize you are not alone. For me, these feelings have been with me for years, in fact since I was quite young. Ironically, in real life I have never been promiscuous (not judging those who are, just was never for me) and am more “girl next door” for anyone to ever guess what lies beneath…the sub feelings ebb and flow, but the undercurrent is always there…
congrats, you are a good person and hope you find the right guide to expàlore your deep personality!!
 
There are times I try to move on and think this part of me is in the past but every time it comes back. There are aching and urges. I know it is deep inside me. It is part of my psyche. A part of my identity even when I can't explore and express it. It would be easier to go on without these submissive urges and the cravings for control but they will not wash away. I know that it is part of me. I cannot deny it, but I don't have an outlet for it at the moment either.

I have been told to make this confession here. Thank you for reading.

How do you deal with this part of your identity when you can't so actively explore it?
I'm impressed!! you are great!! go further and never let down
 
There are times I try to move on and think this part of me is in the past but every time it comes back. There are aching and urges. I know it is deep inside me. It is part of my psyche. A part of my identity even when I can't explore and express it. It would be easier to go on without these submissive urges and the cravings for control but they will not wash away. I know that it is part of me. I cannot deny it, but I don't have an outlet for it at the moment either.

I have been told to make this confession here. Thank you for reading.

How do you deal with this part of your identity when you can't so actively explore it?
I need to PM with you very badly. To share the same mental questions you have. Also to confess to a man my deep descent into primal homosexuality. Honesty is a must for me - almost as hot as gay sex.

Can I PM with you?
 
im not a man
I'm sorry - but want to talk if you do. I am extremely submissive and learned this when I had only straight sex. When I had gay sex I found there were no boundaries that I would think about that would give me any self control.

I accept who and what I am sexually. I am not ashamed of being human. No one should. I like talking to women and I'm married.
 
I find nothing wrong being submissive, and yes feel guilty at times but here is where I can express my thought on it.
bondage ,chastity cant really talk to others in real life but here its ok
 
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