How Do You Get Comfortable Sharing Your Writing?

[AlinaX]

I am fiction, but there is truth in me.

 

[hugh_jarce69]

Who's going to know which bits are you and which bits are your fantasy? That's the way I approach it. Having read a few stories on here it's pretty obvious to me there are many people with way more imagination than I have. I prefer to write from my point of view, and attempt to allow the reader to be my eyes. I can then enjoy the whole trip while I'm doing it. The only way I've failed is if the reader just cannot really imagine the scenario I'm writing about.
But for me it is all fantasy - I'm not that much of a stud!
Ultimately, I don't really care if no one else gets it, it's my fantasy in my mind and if you think you'd write it differently then go ahead.
You may be over-thinking this, which is understandable as we're our own worst critics. But my advice would be to just write the way you want to. Write to the best you can and give yourself the opportunity to come back to it in years to come and be proud of it.
If you're worried about revealing too much about yourself, then why not write as a character? Keep the readers guessing.
Good luck

 

[EmilyMiller]

The trick is to be a very shallow person. For instance, I never worry about revealing my deeper self, because there's no deeper self to reveal.

I thought I had a self-deprecation kink, but I bow before the master

 

[StillStunned]

I thought I had a self-deprecation kink, but I bow before the master

Nah, I'm just too lazy to be interesting.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Nah, I'm just too lazy to be interesting.

See

 

[subdudeme13]

I am fiction, but there is truth in me.

The blue hair gives you away!

 

[subdudeme13]

Nah, I'm just too lazy to be interesting.

Your ability to be lazy is only surpassed by your ability to be uninteresting. Why am i even writing this! OH! I am even more boring than you, so take that!

 

[iwatchus]

I am amazed by the people in this thread who say it's fiction. At one level, the stories that I write never happened, so it is fiction. But every story has at least one character that has part of me in it. Often more than one. And interactions in my life are rampant throughout my stories. Both the main characters in my original story (that grew into my original series) have more than a little of me in them. And they each have some of my SO.

I wa afraid to tell my SO about my writing for a few weeks, but I felt obligated to and finally did. They found my first story uncomfortable to read because they saw so much of us in it. Certainly the basic plot line has no resemblance to anything that ever happened in my real life. My life has almost nothing exciting enough to post on here. Almost all my stories are character driven, so I need to make characters believable. So I mix and match pieces of people I understand.

Ironically, to me at least, my favorite character i have written, and one who seemed to connect with many readers, was Ellie from Important Days. And as far as I can tell, she was a complete fabrication, more so than any main character I have ever written. Only after the fact did I realize she was superficially based on a waitress at a restaurant I frequent. But other than her body language and facial expressions (it's always interesting watching her paste on a smile before talking to customers), I know nothing about her. But I can't help seeing Ellie in her now.

I guess my original Audrey (from my original story and series) started out as a complete fabrication, but she also didn't have any real character to her until the third story. And then she did start to steal part of people's souls.

It would be embarrassing to tell people IRL (away from this site) what I write (four people know so far, only one of whom (my SO) has read any of it). Talking about your sexual fantasies, or even imagination as my stories have wandered from my own fantasies, is not what we are conditioned to do. But revealing your soul is much more vulnerable. Unless, I guess, you can just make a joke about it like @StillStunned always can.

 

[jsmiam]

I recall a while back noticing you (OP) having taken things to heart quite a bit more than many of us here do.

I realize saying “don’t” (don’t take things to heart) is superficial and a gross oversimplification, so my apologies in advance.

But it’s still a good answer! Best wishes.

 

[StillStunned]

Unless, I guess, you can just make a joke about it like @StillStunned always can.

That's what life is for: making jokes about.

 

[Erozetta]

My wife knew. She always encouraged me to write, no matter what is was, despite some of the subject matters I wrote about in my stories. She was my muse. She's also the inspiration behind my 750 word story.

With her recent passing a couple of weeks ago, I've opened up to some friends about my writing because I really needed to share that particular story. I didn't post the link to it, but I posted that story text on Facebook. It's non-erotic so there is absolutely no issues in doing so. To date, those who did have the link, they haven't said anything good or bad. But now they know I wrote erotica and I'm ok with it. For now, unfortunately, my desire for writing has diminished a bit, even though I've had a few ideas that I've saved down to get back to. But when I get back to it, I certainly won't change what I write, even with friends knowing and possibly reading. This is who I am and I know my friends are accepting of it.

Sorry to hear about your wife. My condolences to you and your family.

 

[CalBishForNow]

I was reading and writing stuff like this for my own personal enjoyment for decades before I started publishing anything, so it would take a lot of self-delusion to deny even to myself that I have an interest in this sort of thing. And considering how much time I've put into it, it would take a lot of self-loathing to think of it as an inherently bad thing on a personal or moral level.

This site is anonymous. I think I've been adequately cautious about putting anything here that would link it to me in real life, or vice versa. If that turns out to be mistaken, I'd probably nuke my account from orbit. Maybe I'd take the content to another platform, maybe I'd start writing in another genre, I don't know. But I very rarely worry about it.

Despite that, I'm sure if certain people who know me well read certain stories, they could tell what the inspiration for the protagonist or certain other characters are. There's an element of me in my fiction, of course; I'm pretty sure all writers do that at least sometimes. I'm okay with that in the case of everything I've already published. Anyone who doesn't understand how fiction works shouldn't be aware of this site for other reasons.

There are a few story ideas I've had that are a little darker or more taboo than what I've already put out there, and that's part of why I haven't done anything with them yet, but it's not the only reason.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there? How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer? For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

I never have qualms about the ideas that I have - and I have some super dark ones. They are just fictional stories after all, so no qualms about what is in the dark corners of my mind. No shame here. Anyone who claims that they have nothing dark, weird or compromising lurking in their brains somewhere is lying like a cheap rug (no matter how much said cheap rug really ties the room together).

The only issue that I have with sharing is the platform. All ideas can be shared but not all ideas can be shared with just anyone. There are ideas that I have that are appropriate for lit but not really appropriate for the general bookstore public. That one is obvious. But then there are ideas that are not fit for lit that if I ever do complete them I would publish by some other means - some other site, or some publisher that specializes in twisted psycho thrillers or whatever.

 

[EmilyMiller]

But every story has at least one character that has part of me in it. Often more than one. And interactions in my life are rampant throughout my stories.

This

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Who's going to know which bits are you and which bits are your fantasy?

I write completely fictional characters but if I write them in first person I get guys messaging me that think that the main character is actually me. There is nothing that I can do about that, so there's also nothing I can do about anyone who judges me personally (positively or negatively) by my fictional ideas. If I feel the need to avoid that, then the only thing to do is not ever publish. Well, that's not happening, so it's a good thing that I don't care what anyone thinks of me.

 

[Jorunn]

I tend to put some personal experiences in my stories, mainly of places I have been, and a few of the things I did there. But I embellish the sexual parts for Lit readers.

I stick to romance as a theme. Love is universal, though the definition varies. Other kinks sometimes flutter in my brain, but I doubt I will ever write a story including them. I would feel uncomfortable sharing them, mainly because I lack a real life basis on which to describe them.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I am amazed by the people in this thread who say it's fiction. At one level, the stories that I write never happened, so it is fiction. But every story has at least one character that has part of me in it. Often more than one. And interactions in my life are rampant throughout my stories. Both the main characters in my original story (that grew into my original series) have more than a little of me in them. And they each have some of my SO.

I am one of those who said that it's fiction.

Everything I publish on here is pure fiction, except for the parts that aren't, and there are a lot of those parts.

Life experiences are frequently the inspiration for a majority of the stories here and in mainstream publishing. From location settings in the stories to characters who often appear in them, these are frequently real places I visit, and actual people that I know.

I understand that some people write as a type of therapy, or release of past trauma. I don't, because there are things that I don't want to share with the entire world. Things I want to share I do so without embarrassment or guilt.

 

[Erozetta]

I am amazed by the people in this thread who say it's fiction. At one level, the stories that I write never happened, so it is fiction. But every story has at least one character that has part of me in it. Often more than one. And interactions in my life are rampant throughout my stories.

The only ones I have up currently that don't contain some element of my life in them are:
Lyin' Eyes
Lights, Camera, Blood ch 05
Devil's Dance Floor.

Though both Lights and Dance Floor have elements of my own kinks in them (submission blending with fear in one and an extreme pain kink in the other.) they don't have any real elements of *me* in them.

The rest not only contain an element of me, but elements of real interactions and/or relationships I've had, for better or worse.

As a rundown:

Everything in Masked, I Love You, and WIWAW: Silence are simply true to life with names and timelines shifted or simply omitted.

Careless Whispers and Delectable Delights feature real relationships and a couple of very similar but not exactly the same scenarios. The brother-in-law in both is the same person from my life, I just featured different aspects of him in each, some real scenarios between us are present in each story as well. The boss in Whispers is real, and that scenario is partially real. The older neighbor/best friend's dad from Delights is real, as is some of the interactions between him and my sister's boyfriend and me and him.

Collars and Cravings as well as Dream a Little Dream of Me are both real scenarios I've been involved in. Both involve my husband.

Cookies, Commands, and Subroutines features a male character who is an amalgamation of friends and my husband, the airport scene really happened with my husband, as did the airport scene in A Beautiful Silence from another account I had for a bit.

Monsters, Friends, and Mistakes partially happened. I didn't shut down my computer after a gaming session with friends then my husband wanted attention and got it while a friend of mine watched without me knowing until he confessed at our next gaming session and reminded me to shut off my webcam multiple times. I got suspicious at that point. And I've never had a laptop without a privacy slide to cover the webcam ever since. (Thankfully said friend was trustworthy and claims he did not take pictures or anything and I believe him. I'm pretty sure he was simply in shock.)

Perfectly Playful is pretty much me and my husband during our first Halloween together, though we didn't work together, lol.

Playing Rough, Strokes of Desire, and Wicked Allure are all about the same guy. (Though I don't have tattoos, he did draw and paint on me pretty often. He could be extremely sweet, or extremely violent. The date in Wicked Allure really happened, as did the interactions in the other two stories.)

And Slippery Slopes is an exaggerated version of a weak point in my marriage. I've never done any sort of cam work.

On my first account, I think I only had three stories that had any truth or "me" in them.

 

[UnexpectedLuggage]

I mean, nobody who knows me personally knows I post here. That certainly helps.

As far as stories being personal fantasies and letting people in, that's part of the appeal. Yeah, I mostly use Lit as an archive for my stories/fantasies, but if other people wanna read and get some enjoyment from my fantasies I'm happy to share.

And, if I'm being honest, there is something kinda inherently hot about knowing people are getting off to my work sometimes.

 

[iwatchus]

Even with anonymity, I have written two stories that are too personal to post. One is 100% true, beyond name changes. The other is essentially a love letter to my SO.

Maybe someday, I don’t know.

 

[AG31]

I have remained active as a writer despite not publishing on this site for a year and a half. I’m still unsure about whether I will return to publishing here. Nothing I would like to publish here is even finished and ready yet.

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there? How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer? For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

Good question. I was quite surprised at myself when I came to the point of wanting to publish. (I can't remember if I wrote my first story with or without the intention to publish). No one in real life has any notion of my erotic tastes (as contrasted with real life sex life). You'd think I'd be shy or embarrassed. But I'm not a bit (contrary to what @pink_silk_glove "knows." ). My erotic tastes live in a small, walled off, but very potent part of my brain. In addition, I love to find the right words for things, so the act of writing gives me a lot of pleasure.

I don't think of publishing as putting my stuff "out there." I hope to stumble upon like minded people, and don't expect most people here to warm to my stories. I'm more aware of my near-uniqueness now than when I fist started several years ago. But that's fine.

I expect your niche is rather small also, no? Is that OK with you?

 

[AG31]

My wife knew. She always encouraged me to write, no matter what is was, despite some of the subject matters I wrote about in my stories. She was my muse. She's also the inspiration behind my 750 word story.

With her recent passing a couple of weeks ago, I've opened up to some friends about my writing because I really needed to share that particular story. I didn't post the link to it, but I posted that story text on Facebook. It's non-erotic so there is absolutely no issues in doing so. To date, those who did have the link, they haven't said anything good or bad. But now they know I wrote erotica and I'm ok with it. For now, unfortunately, my desire for writing has diminished a bit, even though I've had a few ideas that I've saved down to get back to. But when I get back to it, I certainly won't change what I write, even with friends knowing and possibly reading. This is who I am and I know my friends are accepting of it.

Perfectly beautiful: A Single Purple Rose

 

[AG31]

But every story has at least one character that has part of me in it.

I assume this must be true of all of us, but it's been a continuing puzzle to me as to how my MCs (men surrendering with dignity) connect to the real me (fairly assertive female with no discernable yen to get involved in BDSM IRL.) I've collected a lot of insights here in AH over the last 3 or 4 years, but that one's still an open question.

 

[iwatchus]

Perfectly beautiful: A Single Purple Rose

If you don't tear up reading that story, you are a heartless soul and I don't want to know you.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there? How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer? For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

It really depends on what you write and how you present it. If you're writing sci-fi for example, it's obvious that it's fiction, even if its 1st person, and nobody is going to relate you to your character(s). It's obvious you're writing a story for entertainment and thats how everyone sees it. So writing sci-fis and monsters and vampires and stuff is VERY fictional and leaves you as a writer divorced from the story in the eyes of the reader.

Third Person is the same - you're the narrator, not a character, and the reader sees youthe same way - as the storyteller, not a character in the story.

I don't see that there should be any issues with the above - it's not "you" that's being shared. YOu are wwriting someone else's story, you are the narrator, telling the story....

First Person however is very different. You are "I," you are the character and you are sharing EVERYTHING with your readers - thoyghts, feelings, emotions, sensations - and THAT is very personal. The reader is getting unto your head, and if you've done it right, you are getting int the readers head so that they too are the "I", experiencing everything as you write it. When you do that, you're right - you ARE unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind to your readers in a way that, if yu draw them in, they emptahize and experiece with your "I"

How do you deal with that?

Most of my stories are first person - and when I write in first person, those characters really get into my head. I write them as if I am the character - "I" and the "I" - and in my head, it's almost like a movie that I'm writing out as a story - the dialog plays out in my head, I feel the character's emotions and think their thoughts and just write it down. I get totally absorbed un the character - and I juat about live the story in my head and it's really intense sometimes. When I was writing "Tales from Old SHanghai," I just about was Chuntao for weeks, and I didn't even think about the story - it just poured out like I was living it and I almost didn;t think at all - I just wrote - so it really was putting it all out there. It's actually like that for me with most of the stories I write - I even choreograph fights at the taekwondo school I train at and go thru them. I won't say what I do with teh sex scenes LOL except that my husband is alternately very happy and terrified. LOL

Anyhow, I just accept that I am putting it all out there for readers and they're getting a deep look into my characters, because whatever else they are, they ARE characters and they are fictional, and I really enjoy my characters, even the downright sociopathic ones LOL. Whom I enjoy just as much.

You just have to accept that if you are doing 1st person, some of yu at least is going to come out in those characters, and just go with the flow. Some of thise characters could be a little more embarrassing than others LOL, but in the end its fiction, not autiobiography, altho one or two of my stories skirt that boundary pretty closely here and there.

For myself, I just accept that that's what I'm doing and I'm comfortable with that. Altho if Simon says "Buzzzzzzzzzzz" I may freak. LOL.