Writing for the approbation of other authors

[Off_base]

There are two things I'd like to comment on here. First is the criticism itself. Second is the effect it has had on you.

I haven't read the story in question but like @PennyThompson, I read the comment to which you're referring, as well as your comment in response to it. As a writer, you owe it to your craft to weight the criticism and decide whether it's on point or off base. And it's important to remember that even excellent and well-respected authors can offer criticism that sometimes misses the mark.

For what it's worth, it was clear to me that you carefully considered each point raised by the commenter in your response, and you gave solid reasons for disagreeing with their comments. That's the exact right approach. You can (and should!) dismiss criticism if you evaluate it objectively and decide it is off the mark.

Again, I've not read the story, but I agree with your perspective on the boot camp thing. Just because a character derives self esteem from changing her appearance does not mean that you are trying to tell your audience that they have to look a certain way to feel good. In my opinion, the commenter was wrongly assuming that the character's intrinsic motivations aligned with the writer's message to his/her audience. I feel the same way about the commenter's disapproval about a character drinking and driving. That's not a message that you are delivering as a writer. That's the behavior of a flawed character that you are portraying, and that is perfectly fine and acceptable in a work of fiction.

You also provided an explanation for why Stacy never visited home in you response to the comment. Now, maybe the commenter is correct that you didn't do enough as a writer to convey Stacy's reasoning in the story. Or maybe you are correct and the commenter just didn't pick up on the details you included to establish Stacy's motivation. It's up to you as a writer to decide that one.

Putting aside the validity of the criticism itself, I would also suggest that you owe it to yourself and your craft not to let a single comment suck the joy from your writing, regardless of the comment's source. Believe in yourself and your writing. Be receptive to criticism as a way to hone your craft, but keep in mind that any criticism offered in good faith (and I believe that this commenter's criticism was offered in good faith) is a critique of the success of the work itself, not the worth of the writer. There's a reason this same commenter has praised your other work. Don't get so consumed by this single negative comment that you lose sight of all the positive feedback you've received!

As others have suggested, you might PM the person who left the comment. Tone is hard to convey in a comment, and it's very possible that the commenter may be horrified to learn that their words have had such a negative effect on you. A private conversation may help you recover your equilibrium. Best of luck, and please keep writing.

It's like you read my mind. Thank you for this. So much!