How Do You Get Comfortable Sharing Your Writing?

[madelinemasoch]

I have remained active as a writer despite not publishing on this site for a year and a half. I’m still unsure about whether I will return to publishing here. Nothing I would like to publish here is even finished and ready yet.

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there? How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer? For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

 

[iwatchus]

I think this is partially why things can get so touchy when talking about a category or a kink.

 

[dirk2024]

I have remained active as a writer despite not publishing on this site for a year and a half. I’m still unsure about whether I will return to publishing here. Nothing I would like to publish here is even finished and ready yet.

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there? How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer? For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

#1 - no one in my real world knows that I am a member of Literotica, much less that I have posted stories here.

#2 - I rely on the members here to be the deviant perverts I need them to be to share my intimate thoughts and fantasies with them. No one has let me down yet!

#3 - no one, save for a maybe a few judgemental assholes will give you a problem for what you write. If they do, remember something that has been posted in this forum many times. You are writing for you, your pleasure and your satisfaction. Fuck the few who might possibly take umbrage with any of your words.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

There is a probably made up quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
I write because I enjoy it, and I hope other people will too.
If they don't, they don't.
I've honestly never felt I was baring my soul here. They are just ideas... ideas want to be free.

 

[EmmAgain]

This is a great thread. I have the same block. Big thank-you to everyone who contributes.

 

[Azuldrgon]

To be honest, I was beyond the point when I cared about what people thought just because I just enjoyed throwing it into the mix. The feeling of submitting at times felt more like relief because the stories bounced around in my mind until I typed them out.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer?

That’s what all writing is, even if it’s not erotica. Even a paid hack regurgitating slop for a pittance can’t avoid part of themselves leaking into their work.

 

[EmilyMiller]

This is a great thread. I have the same block. Big thank-you to everyone who contributes.

Just try it, hun. It’s really stimulating, in all meanings of the word .

 

[Areala-chan]

The same way you adapt to the temperature of the water in the swimming pool. Splash right in, it's freezing cold for about 30 seconds, then you forget why you were mincing about a minute ago.

 

[SmilingLez]

For me the anonymity of the literotica platform makes it easier to post my prose and short stories. It's not like anyone from my neighborhood is gonna say "oh look it's that kinky literotica writer SmilingLez" as I put out out trash.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I have remained active as a writer despite not publishing on this site for a year and a half. I’m still unsure about whether I will return to publishing here. Nothing I would like to publish here is even finished and ready yet.

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there? How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer? For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

I see they killed off your avatar. That whole avatar project (is it still going on?) was strangely passive-aggressive on their part.

Anyway, those are good questions. When I was younger, I would never have believed that I'd write for a site like this or two other similar sites. When I first published on Lit, I was sixty-three (now I'm seventy). I had already been doing some "scribbling" while recovering from surgery. It seemed to have some momentum so I went looking for a place to publish some it. I don't even remember how I found Lit. So I can't say exactly why I made the decision. Because I knew I didn't have to use my real name? Because I felt I had done some work and I wanted to do something with it? Because I hadn't published anything "creative" since I was on a college paper fifty years ago? (I had to use my real name as the byline.)

Maybe I need to think about this further.

 

[gunhilltrain]

This is a great thread. I have the same block. Big thank-you to everyone who contributes.

I hope my reply above helps, although I need to add something to it. (Tomorrow.) Anyway, congratulations on reaching the age of 125. What was it really like during the Harding administration?

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/20...-b29b1c35e51453dbcc72f4c2fd352e073bcdfc8c.jpg

 

[EmmAgain]

I hope my reply above helps, although I need to add something to it. (Tomorrow.) Anyway, congratulations on reaching the age of 125. What was it really like during the Harding administration?

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/20...-b29b1c35e51453dbcc72f4c2fd352e073bcdfc8c.jpg

Thank you! People here are very helpful. Really appreciate it.

Yes, I do seem to struggle a bit with numbers, don’t I?

 

[SimonDoom]

For whatever reason, this has never been an issue for me. I suppose, before I published my first story (almost nine years ago), I had moments of trepidation and wondered whether I really wanted to put kinky fantasies into words that the "world" would see. But once I did it, I never looked back.

Part of it, perhaps, is that the stories only partly represent "me." Some of the fantasies hit close to home, I suppose, but they're not revealing about how I actually live my life and what I do, other than perhaps representing some aspects, very generally, of my background, the kinds of places I've lived, little pieces of erotic experiences I've had, that sort of thing.

In any event, the fun far outweighs the fear, and the fun keeps me going. If I wasn't having fun with it, I might feel differently.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there?

True enough, but we're all anonymous, unknown to each other, and if we like writing - my view is, let someone read it.

For me, unlike many others, this isn't therapy. It's personal and intimate, sure, but there's no emotional or mental well-being burden attached, not for me.

Some might think I need therapy, haha, but that's an entirely different topic!

How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer?

After eleven years and a million and half words, that's a moot point for me. I'm well past any judgement from others - and don't give a toss what they might think anyway. They don't know me, other what they might glean from my stories - and I've often observed that readers aren't always very good at separating truth from fiction.

But they're all my words in the first place, so I'm in control of all that disclosure. Or sharing, which is a word I get often in comments, which I like. Sharing my gift, if that's what it is, of my writing, or sharing parts of my life. Readers seem to like it when one does that.

For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

I think your life might be a lot harder than mine has ever been, and all I can offer is: make sure you care for yourself first, before any other consideration.

 

[Erozetta]

How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world?

Personally, I haven't gotten comfortable with it yet and it's been like five years.

Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer?

I do think about that, but I also know no one in my real life knows all that much about me. This is pretty much the only place where I can be genuine and open about myself without feeling extremely judged. That does make it easier to post my writing here, but it also makes it a little more uncomfortable.

I struggle with being human.

 

[SkyBubble]

I can't imagine why that wouldn't be comfortable.

 

[MK_Whimsy]

This is a very personal choice and everyone needs to find their own comfort level. I probably have even more reason to be nervous about this because of my predilection for bizarre and possibly unsettling content.

Still, I set aside my fear of putting my stuff out there for a few reasons. One, I figured I didn't really have anything to lose. Two, I thought some people might enjoy it. And three, it just seemed like a fun (if not daring) thing to do.

 

[StillStunned]

Something always feels risqué about writing for me. There are intimate fantasies of intricate detail that I can sketch out and flesh out and bring to life, but do I really want that stuff out there? How do you get to a point where you feel comfortable enough to put what you’ve written out into the world? Do you even think about the fact that you may be unfurling the most intimate parts of your own mind out there to the public, or is that even what you do as a writer? For me, it is, and I don’t know how to get to a point where I’m comfortable with that. I am looking for advice and insight into other peoples’ mindsets around this topic.

The trick is to be a very shallow person. For instance, I never worry about revealing my deeper self, because there's no deeper self to reveal.

 

[Cagivagurl]

I consider myself a creator...
Poetry, painting, music, song writing. Each requires baring your thoughts and ideas.
In some ways it's like coming out...
Releasing your innermost fears...
Afraid of how people will see you.

Cagivagurl

 

[ElectricBlue]

I do think about that, but I also know no one in my real life knows all that much about me. This is pretty much the only place where I can be genuine and open about myself without feeling extremely judged. That does make it easier to post my writing here, but it also makes it a little more uncomfortable.

I struggle with being human.

It's very sad to read that, Erozetta. Everything I've read, both in these threads and the stories of yours that I've read, says to me, you have a good soul.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

First of all, it's FICTION.

Everyone that I share my writing with IRL knows that. I have never written anything that I would be ashamed of, even some of the contract work I have done for magazines and other mediums involving kinks that I wouldn't touch with someone else's appendages.

Some of my colleagues where I volunteer have read my stories. They giggle and tell other colleagues that "He's good. He writes smut." One of my most astute proof readers is a retired Navy Chaplin. Many of my stories involve characters doing all sorts of bad or illegal things. Things that I would never do, and everyone understands that. Why should writing about people doing kinky sexual things be different? It isn't.

Finally, it's FICTION.

 

[Erozetta]

It's very sad to read that, Erozetta. Everything I've read, both in these threads and the stories of yours that I've read, says to me, you have a good soul.

I don't feel sad about it. I trust anonymity more than people I know IRL. That's adaptation based on lived experiences, not sadness.

And the struggle with being human... I can do it in spurts. I can be normal, appear extremely professional and put together, smart, and accomplished. I can be whoever I need to be to get a specific task/job done. It's just exhausting to do that when it comes to interacting with other people. You put a problem in front of me and I'll figure it out. You put a person in front of me and I'm going to sit in a corner away from them and observe them to the point where we're both deeply uncomfortable.

But the flip side of that is there's very little I can't learn on the fly when it comes to tech and animals and things not human. I may not be very good at it, but if I need to learn a thing, I only need a couple of hours to get the basics down, then I can mostly wing it from there. Within a day, I'm passable as competent. Like, it took me about a week to learn how to build a website for my employer from nothing. Twenty minutes to figure out how to market for my employer to the point of consistently having a 94% or better occupancy rate year after year when the industry standard is closer to 65%.

It took me an hour each to work out three different payroll systems we've used, and less than that to work on Excel well enough to make spreadsheets of occupancy rates for my job. I'm not a mathematician or a coder or an analyst of any type. But when my job asks me to do something, my instinct is to try to do it even if I've never done it before and don't think I can. How do I know I can't do it if I don't try? I find that most people don't seem to operate that way. They see a task given to them, know it's not in their skillset and flat out say they can't do it.

The more people commend me on my adaptability while saying they could never have figured that out in such a short timeframe, the less human I feel. It's not a sad thing to me. It's just a thing that makes me feel "other" because such adaptability seems to be rare. Though, I think it's less that people aren't adaptable and more that they feign ignorance to get by with doing less than should be expected of them because they can.

So, yeah, not a sad thing. Just a different type of existence while technically being human but not feeling very human.

 

[TiberiusPrime]

My wife knew. She always encouraged me to write, no matter what is was, despite some of the subject matters I wrote about in my stories. She was my muse. She's also the inspiration behind my 750 word story.

With her recent passing a couple of weeks ago, I've opened up to some friends about my writing because I really needed to share that particular story. I didn't post the link to it, but I posted that story text on Facebook. It's non-erotic so there is absolutely no issues in doing so. To date, those who did have the link, they haven't said anything good or bad. But now they know I wrote erotica and I'm ok with it. For now, unfortunately, my desire for writing has diminished a bit, even though I've had a few ideas that I've saved down to get back to. But when I get back to it, I certainly won't change what I write, even with friends knowing and possibly reading. This is who I am and I know my friends are accepting of it.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Anonymity. No one knows if I'm the great and powerful Oz or the man behind the curtain. Like my work, Rob Royale is a fiction.