Let's talk about women and edging

[PleasureDaddy]

That's not what I intended. I'm just trying to determine if that is the extent of using edging within your dynamic.

I don’t know what you want me to explain to you. But I wish you good luck with this thread.

 

[cascadiabound]

I don’t know what you want me to explain to you. But I wish you good luck with this thread.

Thanks for contributing. I'm not chasing you away, just curious and looking for additional articulation on your thoughts/uses around edging than you said so far. Seems like that's all you got, and that just fine. No judgment.

 

[PleasureDaddy]

Thanks for contributing. I'm not chasing you away, just curious and looking for additional articulation on your thoughts/uses around edging than you said so far. Seems like that's all you got, and that just fine. No judgment.

I’m here for fun conversations not to feed some crazy need for information. It’s called having an imagination. You can read between the lines all by yourself. If I spell everything out it sucks the joy out of it. Even as I type this i regret the engagement.

 

[cascadiabound]

This is BDSM talk. And the OP definitely indicated a deep curiosity on this topic. Idk why you are surprised about additional questions when your posts leave, well, a lot that could be misconstrued. This is Lit. I expect people to be able to use their words.

 

[Mrtenant]

To me, a single edging session has little value- its just fucking around. I am mindful of time, both history and future. It has to have a part in the whole of the edging experience.

I find it amusing and arousing to edge her beyond what she thinks is possible, even to the point of a ruined orgasm. If I am present- then even more so.

While I care for her, truly, there is a part of me that has more than a bit of sadistic interest in having her in that much control.

I like the idea of giving her free reign on orgasms. Have as many as she can, so that she is used to that, and then full stop. Days without end (seemingly) of only edges and ruined orgasms all while I remind her of all those times she had cum so freely. I can taste and feel her frustration.

I also find it amusing and arousing that when she is instructed to edge and she tries so hard but fails and is pushed over the edge, betrayed by her own body. Again sadistic. I know she'll agonize over her failure. To be fair I want her to succeed in completing her assignments. And she will succeed often, until I become bored with success and push her harder.

I know, it sounds kind of cruel and fucks with her head, but she is tied to me. Her sexual successes and failures are as much mine as hers. I will not allow her to fail if I believe she cannot recover.

 

[cascadiabound]

To me, a single edging session has little value- its just fucking around. I am mindful of time, both history and future. It has to have a part in the whole of the edging experience.

I find it amusing and arousing to edge her beyond what she thinks is possible, even to the point of a ruined orgasm. If I am present- then even more so.

While I care for her, truly, there is a part of me that has more than a bit of sadistic interest in having her in that much control.

I like the idea of giving her free reign on orgasms. Have as many as she can, so that she is used to that, and then full stop. Days without end (seemingly) of only edges and ruined orgasms all while I remind her of all those times she had cum so freely. I can taste and feel her frustration.

I also find it amusing and arousing that when she is instructed to edge and she tries so hard but fails and is pushed over the edge, betrayed by her own body. Again sadistic. I know she'll agonize over her failure. To be fair I want her to succeed in completing her assignments. And she will succeed often, until I become bored with success and push her harder.

I know, it sounds kind of cruel and fucks with her head, but she is tied to me. Her sexual successes and failures are as much mine as hers. I will not allow her to fail if I believe she cannot recover.

I think using edging, denial, orgasm control and orgasmic torture within the context of a consensual, power exchange relationship can be sadistic bordering on cruel, mind fuckery. Using her own bodies responses to enhance that connection and feeling of ownership/loss of control - well that seems to be part of what masochistic pain craving, control needing subs might want/needs to get all wrapped up in obedience to their PYL.

Changing the rules, the assignments, the duration, the risk of success or failure can keep a subs attention and reinforce the connection /obedience to the D.

 

[seela]

Changing the rules, the assignments, the duration, the risk of success or failure can keep a subs attention and reinforce the connection /obedience to the D.

This was a big revelation for me during my longer stint of orgasm denial and edging.

Because I knew how long it was going to last, it took the wondering of if and when I’m going to be able to have an orgasm out of the picture and that turned out to be such a double edged sword.

On one hand it was nice to know the end is not in sight for a good while, it allowed me to settle into the denial in a bit different way and maybe notice things that I otherwise would have missed because I would have been busy wondering if I’m gonna get to cum soon or not. But on the other hand I absolutely craved my head being toyed with by not knowing when the release would come, the changing of the rules etc.

 

[CaptCharles]

I think using edging, denial, orgasm control and orgasmic torture within the context of a consensual, power exchange relationship can be sadistic bordering on cruel, mind fuckery. Using her own bodies responses to enhance that connection and feeling of ownership/loss of control - well that seems to be part of what masochistic pain craving, control needing subs might want/needs to get all wrapped up in obedience to their PYL.

Changing the rules, the assignments, the duration, the risk of success or failure can keep a subs attention and reinforce the connection /obedience to the D.

Correct... and very necessary to gaining a deeper connection between each person. The exchange should always be positive and steered to the benefit and pleasure of each other. Changing things up is spontaneous and makes it exciting.

 

[Honeysuckleboi]

Thanks for starting this thread! It's one of my very favorite topics.

I really enjoy edging, usually combined with orgasm denial. The combination of orgasm denial with a good amount of edging thrown in the mix can produce the most wonderful headspace for me.

I especially love long(er) term denial and edging. I love having to ask for permission and knowing my orgasms are in someone else's hand rather than my own, literally and figuratively. It's thrilling to hand over control of such a basic urge.

I'm rather prone to overthinking absolutely everything in my life, but when I edge without having an orgasm, after a while I fall into a lovely haze that makes me not overthink quite so much. I exist more, I get a weird, glowy spring in my step, I feel kind of sexy, for the lack of a better word, I feel softer, more willing, more pliant. I like that side of me, it's different to my usual being. I don't think I've ever felt sexy in my life, but orgasm denial and edging for a lengthier period is as close as I'll probably ever come to feeling sexy or feeling desirable for reasons that are not tied to my intellect.

So yeah, edging definitely adds to my sexuality. It's best when it's under someone else's guidance, but I've done it on my own as well. I don't reach the happy, subby, glowy, sexy flow without someone else being involved in the process - mostly because I lack the self control to edge for long enough (I need days) if there's no one telling me I'm not to have an orgasm.

It's easier and more pleasurable for me to do it myself rather than have someone else edging me, mostly because I'm better at staying on the edge myself than I am at communicating to someone else just when to stop or when to have just a little more. I get harder and longer edges if I do it myself, if that makes sense. When someone else edges me, it's good too, but different. I find it becomes more of a quantity game then, though. I can take more and at faster intervals if someone else is in control, because the edges are a little softer, and as a life long orgasm avoider, I've had a lot of practise.

I could ramble on about the topic for hours, but I'll end here.

This entire post hits all the exact points I would make, but says it better!! Entirely relatable, start to finish.

 

[cascadiabound]

This was a big revelation for me during my longer stint of orgasm denial and edging.

Because I knew how long it was going to last, it took the wondering of if and when I’m going to be able to have an orgasm out of the picture and that turned out to be such a double edged sword.

On one hand it was nice to know the end is not in sight for a good while, it allowed me to settle into the denial in a bit different way and maybe notice things that I otherwise would have missed because I would have been busy wondering if I’m gonna get to cum soon or not. But on the other hand I absolutely craved my head being toyed with by not knowing when the release would come, the changing of the rules etc.

I seem to recall a point somewhere between month 6 and 10 that it all seemed not so fun and not so connected for you.

I think it's an important insight to recognize the relationship between edging/control/denial and mind fucking. The uncertainty of what next, how long, when relief will come, being pushed in ways that border on or sometimes induce a failure.

I need to think about this a little more especially in relationship to @Mrtenant post.

The masochistic elements of being played with, toyed with, controlled and mind fucked are more front and center than I would like to admit.

 

[Hypocrites]

In my past domming, edging could be used as discipline and sometimes punishment. In punishment, and this is when the sadism juices are percolating, I'd have my sub bound in the most open, humiliating way. The point of the punishment being denial, you want to ensure there's no chance of a surreptitious orgasm.

I enjoy my sub's helplessness as I eat her to a point where she can't hold it, then stopping. Rinse and repeat as necessary, making sure to add pain to intensify the torment of the so close but deliciously evasive climax. Then leave. Sometimes that meant I was eating a meal, watching a game or taking the nap.

Depending on how bad the transgression, you can even trade. What will she submit to for release. Perhaps impact to particularly vulnerable parts or a raw and brutal anal.

@HyposMuse drew me out of dormancy and created a craving to reenter the world of domming. She presents an interesting problem as she is driven to be the most obedient, subservient and good pet and thus doesn't rate edging/denial as a punishment. She is so responsive under my hand, mouth and manhood I often find myself wanting to make her cum until she curses my name.

To that end, edging becomes a tool of exquisite torture. To control her and rewire her mind so that my very presence makes her aroused. I use edging to prolong her frustration, build tension and the make her release. My pleasure as a dom is enhanced by the pleasure of my sub. And nothing beats the crying and begging except for the way her face contorts and her body convulses as she cascades.

Cruelty has its place when needed. So does tormenting to enhance her ultimate fulfillment. Edging/Denial is a powerful tool for both applications.

 

[Spanky1372]

.

 

[Cruelsmile5]

Edging

As a submissive woman I have really come to love and crave edging. It's an overt way to keep my sexual needs/arousal front and center while keeping orgasm control entirely his.

Women -

• do you like being edged?
• Does it matter whether your PYL is edging you directly or if you edge yourself for them?
• Does it matter if your PYL is in the room/on line/ or not?
• Do you like being told to edge?
• How does edging add to or frustrate your sexuality?
• Does edging increase your sense of submission?

Men/Doms/Dommes -

• What does making your sub edge do for you?
• Have you found it to be an effective way to increase connection or submission in your partners?
• Any tips for others regarding edging? (For connection, management, funishment, punishment, denial etc)
• How does edging fit into your understanding of orgasm control and or denial?

Inquiring minds want to know all this and more.

Any favorite techniques for edging or toys that work especially well for inducing a very heightened level of arousal but prevent/deny orgasm?

How do you use edging in your personal sexuality or in your power exchange relationships? Tell us about great successes or epic failures. Tell us about creative use of edging. Details! we want details!

Post your response on any of the above that speaks to you. No need to respond to all of it.

I doubt I'll be able to resist chiming in with my own thoughts and experiences. Let's talk about edging in women.

Edging

As a submissive woman I have really come to love and crave edging. It's an overt way to keep my sexual needs/arousal front and center while keeping orgasm control entirely his.

Women -

• do you like being edged?
• Does it matter whether your PYL is edging you directly or if you edge yourself for them?
• Does it matter if your PYL is in the room/on line/ or not?
• Do you like being told to edge?
• How does edging add to or frustrate your sexuality?
• Does edging increase your sense of submission?

Men/Doms/Dommes -

• What does making your sub edge do for you?
• Have you found it to be an effective way to increase connection or submission in your partners?
• Any tips for others regarding edging? (For connection, management, funishment, punishment, denial etc)
• How does edging fit into your understanding of orgasm control and or denial?

Inquiring minds want to know all this and more.

Any favorite techniques for edging or toys that work especially well for inducing a very heightened level of arousal but prevent/deny orgasm?

How do you use edging in your personal sexuality or in your power exchange relationships? Tell us about great successes or epic failures. Tell us about creative use of edging. Details! we want details!

Post your response on any of the above that speaks to you. No need to respond to all of it.

I doubt I'll be able to resist chiming in with my own thoughts and experiences. Let's talk about edging in women.

For me, edging is part of training a submissive and it fits into orgasm control. It’s part of her submission and I think it both builds connection and deepens the submission. But I view it differently than some, in that I provide detailed instructions for daily edging. Some days she may be allowed to use her fingers and dance along the very edge of orgasm before I pull her away. Others she may be allowed to hump a piece of furniture for a 10 minute interval while I whisper depraved things into her ear.

Part of the relationship is getting to know her, understand her and what she needs from this. Is she masochistic? If so, pain play is part of the mix to spice things up. Edging should stimulate her mentally, not just physically.

Tips for others-communication is everything. Actually listen to her. This is a training process, she’s not a robot. In my experience the majority of women enjoy edging and get off on it-but for some, longer periods of denial can cause anxiety. Check in with her about her mental health, make sure denial isn’t having a negative impact on her. And if she accidentally orgasms-have a set of consequences and use them, but don’t guilt trip her. She already feels bad for failing, let her atone and move forward. Guilt trips and making her feel like a failure isn’t a part of domination.

 

[CaptCharles]

For me, edging is part of training a submissive and it fits into orgasm control. It’s part of her submission and I think it both builds connection and deepens the submission. But I view it differently than some, in that I provide detailed instructions for daily edging. Some days she may be allowed to use her fingers and dance along the very edge of orgasm before I pull her away. Others she may be allowed to hump a piece of furniture for a 10 minute interval while I whisper depraved things into her ear.

Part of the relationship is getting to know her, understand her and what she needs from this. Is she masochistic? If so, pain play is part of the mix to spice things up. Edging should stimulate her mentally, not just physically.

Tips for others-communication is everything. Actually listen to her. This is a training process, she’s not a robot. In my experience the majority of women enjoy edging and get off on it-but for some, longer periods of denial can cause anxiety. Check in with her about her mental health, make sure denial isn’t having a negative impact on her. And if he accidentally orgasms-have a set of consequences and use them, but don’t guilt trip her. She already feels bad for failing, let her atone and move forward. Guilt trips and making her feel like a failure isn’t a part of domination.

Agree.. here is a balance that needs to occur. Edging and denial are interchangeable tools and should be used with care. I have always found the mutual pleasure and support through them is so much better received by subs. It even better when she hears that I listen and let's her body go and trusts we will find her limit and exploit her pleasure.

 

[seela]

And if he accidentally orgasms-have a set of consequences and use them, but don’t guilt trip her. She already feels bad for failing, let her atone and move forward. Guilt trips and making her feel like a failure isn’t a part of domination.

…and then there are doms and subs who get off on exactly that. Emotional sadism and masochism is a huge reason why edging and orgasm denial are attractive to me.

 

[Cruelsmile5]

…and then there are doms and subs who get off on exactly that. Emotional sadism and masochism is a huge reason why edging and orgasm denial are attractive to me.

Good point-and everyone’s kinks are different, and that’s cool. And consensual emotional masochism/sadism is an especially hot kink to explore. In my personal opinion, I wouldn’t go that direction with a beginner. It’s deep water when you’re learning to swim.

I was including that in the advice for subs/doms trying edging and denial. There are going to be accidental orgasms as you learn what the exact stopping point (edge) is. Don’t set her up to disappoint by making her feel bad when it happens. Perfection isn’t typically realistic in the initial learning process. Have consequences, address, move forward.

 

[SirSparky]

To me, a single edging session has little value- its just fucking around. I am mindful of time, both history and future. It has to have a part in the whole of the edging experience.

I find it amusing and arousing to edge her beyond what she thinks is possible, even to the point of a ruined orgasm. If I am present- then even more so.

While I care for her, truly, there is a part of me that has more than a bit of sadistic interest in having her in that much control.

I like the idea of giving her free reign on orgasms. Have as many as she can, so that she is used to that, and then full stop. Days without end (seemingly) of only edges and ruined orgasms all while I remind her of all those times she had cum so freely. I can taste and feel her frustration.

I also find it amusing and arousing that when she is instructed to edge and she tries so hard but fails and is pushed over the edge, betrayed by her own body. Again sadistic. I know she'll agonize over her failure. To be fair I want her to succeed in completing her assignments. And she will succeed often, until I become bored with success and push her harder.

I know, it sounds kind of cruel and fucks with her head, but she is tied to me. Her sexual successes and failures are as much mine as hers. I will not allow her to fail if I believe she cannot recover.

This is exactly how I see it and what I would do. Let her enjoy her orgasms freely then deny her only to edge. Alsk if she fails to edge and has an orgasm then she will have many forced orgasms one after the other, no stopping between

 

[Rj_1954]

Appreciate your comments RJ, but this is a thread about edging WOMEN, not about edging men, as fascinating a topic as that may be, it belongs in a different thread. If you have comments about how to edge women or how that had enhanced your relationship, this thread is for that.

Sorry...I will delete it.

Deleted!

 

[Student_4_Seniors]

Edging isn't for me even as a masochist - in fact orgasm control is a hard limit. I find it hard to concentrate, my mind stops focussing, and I don't cum. And for me sex is a pleasure, in whatever vanilla or kinky way it manifests, and why would I stop wanting to have pleasure?

 

[cascadiabound]

Edging isn't for me even as a masochist - in fact orgasm control is a hard limit. I find it hard to concentrate, my mind stops focussing, and I don't cum. And for me sex is a pleasure, in whatever vanilla or kinky way it manifests, and why would I stop wanting to have pleasure?

It's important to know what does and doesn't work for you.
How do you feel about forced orgasms?

When you say "orgasm control is a hard limit" does that mean that teasing and making you wait as part of prolonged love making would not be okay?

I'm quite sure when I was 23 I would have written something very similar to this in regards to edging/denial/control. Even 10 years ago when I first began to understand this was a common element in power exchange relationships, I frankly didn't get it.

Time has really changed my perspective on this and my feelings don't have anything to do with changes in sexual drive/desires etc.

There is a deep part of my kinky submissive brain that really needs/aches for my essential sexual need to orgasm, be connected to/controlled in some way by my D. Sometimes that means a month of edging and denial. Sometimes that means that I can only cum when he says NOW in a particular sexual encounter. Sometimes that means I only get to cum in the way/manner he wants. Sometimes that means forced orgasms giving him more and more as he pulls them out of my body. And having that all occur over time in non predictable patterns heightens my connection to him and need for his care/control/sadistic impulses etc.

I trust that he loves and cares for me and wants me to feel fulfilled and more. I trust that he will listen when I safe word or change my mind. I trust that he won't break his most precious and beloved toy, even if he comes ever closer to that line as he uncovers ways to play with me I'd never thought of; ways to mark me as his that stay with me for days; ways to remind me that all of me is his.

 

[sexybeast03]

Edging for a month sounds intense