The vocalising of sex

[DeMont]

Good evening my dear colleagues,
In her essay "Painting With Soft Brush-Strokes" https://www.literotica.com/s/painting-with-soft-brush-strokes our colleague onehitwanda presented a a marvelous demonstration on the use of words, the form of those words into sentences and using words to lend power to sentences. Both the points and emphasis of those points was excellent.
Given that we can do that with words, quite easily, I was led to consider a comment that was anonymously made on one of my submissions that basically stated, "Using long, drawn out, capitalised expressions of sexual vocalisations at the moment of climax was really, really amateurish."

Not entirely a negative feedback, I took that on board as more of a suggestion to explore rather than a criticism (although not entirely sure which one it was) In my lifetime I have experienced both "somewhat reserved reactions" to "that" moment and "completely, utterly, depraved and uncontrolled" reactions (drawn out somewhat) at that moment. That's in real life. In writing, and as writers, what are your opinions on the matter? How do you choose to portray the ecstatic moment of fulfillment?

The basic question, I suppose, is how to portray the power of the moment without writing in the third person all the time?
Respectfully,
D.

 

[StillStunned]

See my reply in another thread started just a bit ago: Writing an orgasm.

 

[Djmac1031]

Im sure i wrote out a lot of OOOOHS and AAAAAHHHS when I first started.

And they have their place, in moderation. But too many in a row is definitely distracting. And, frankly, lazy writing.

You can go for more vague or abstract, flowery descriptions.

Or just write "He / she / they cried out loudly in orgasmic bliss" or "he / she / they whimpered softly as their orgasm subsided " or whatever.

 

[WittyUserName]

Im sure i wrote out a lot of OOOOHS and AAAAAHHHS when I first started.

And they have their place, in moderation. But too many in a row is definitely distracting. And, frankly, lazy writing.

You can go for more vague or abstract, flowery descriptions.

Or just write "He / she / they cried out loudly in orgasmic bliss" or "he / she / they whimpered softly as their orgasm subsided " or whatever.

I understand what you mean. I like onomatopoeia, and lately I've been using it when describing blowjobs. Now I'm worried I'm overdoing it. It comes down to each writer's style. If you're writing a long series, I think variety is important, too.

 

[SimonDoom]

It's a good question, and I think the reality is that people are very different in their vocalization of sexual pleasure, so what seems super hot to one person is going to seem super fake or phony to another.

I'm a verbal person and I like verbalizing things and I get very turned on if my partner is the same way. But some partners have NOT been that way, so you have to adjust. With a story, you can write your characters however you want them to be, but the one suggestion I would make is to foreshadow the vocalization early in the story. Give the reader a reason to believe it's plausible that the character would vocalize during sex the way they do. Vocalization/dialogue should always be consistent with the character.

 

[Djmac1031]

Vocalization/dialogue should always be consistent with the character.

Good advice, which you can also sometimes flip to subvert expectations, IE the male character is surprised when the usually quiet and shy woman he finally managed to land is suddenly loud and vocal in bed.

 

[HordHolm]

It's a good question, and I think the reality is that people are very different in their vocalization of sexual pleasure, so what seems super hot to one person is going to seem super fake or phony to another.

It's also the case that loud today might well be silent tomorrow, depending on a variety of factors.

 

[SimonDoom]

Good advice, which you can also sometimes flip to subvert expectations, IE the male character is surprised when the usually quiet and shy woman he finally managed to land is suddenly loud and vocal in bed.

Good point, and there's truth to this, too. The "good girl gone bad" fantasy. It's a hot fantasy, but I've known "good girls" who really are like that. It's not JUST a fantasy.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

The “AHHHHHHHH!!!”s and “OHHHHHMYYYYGODDDD!!!!”s get old pretty quickly. I tend to lean more towards this sort of thing: Through the maelstrom of her bliss, Rachel dimly became aware of ragged cries growing ever louder, ever more exultant, until she finally recognized the voice as her own.

 

[DeMont]

See my reply in another thread started just a bit ago: Writing an orgasm.

@StillStunned,
Thanks so much. I searched under several different descriptions but I might have missed it.
Respectfully,
D.

 

[DeMont]

@EmilyMiller and @StillStunned,
Just to say thank you for your suggestions. I read both onehitwanda's piece and the thread that @StillStunned referred me to. I have just scrapped an entire section of a story I am currently working on and I am re-writing it. Am I satisfied with where it's headed? I can't answer that yet - it's a new direction for me.

Wondering to myself, is there actually a "Guide for the newbie writer" around here somewhere? If not I think it would be a great idea to compile one from (majority/largely) acclaimed pieces, be they essays or examples, that have been presented (such as those I have just read) to give new writers, or first timers, a good idea of how to overcome their "first piece jitters" and be less conscious about whether or not they should "bite the bullet" and press submit?
Respectfully,
D.

 

[dirk2024]

Wondering to myself, is there actually a "Guide for the newbie writer" around here somewhere?

Have you seen the "How To" section on the Category page? https://www.literotica.com/c/adult-how-to

I have found articles there that helped me. Some I have favorited so I can easily return to read again.

Edit: Here is one I just found that i had previously missed. https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-get-started-writing

 

[Carmina24]

In my humble opinion:

The vocalising of sex isn’t about volume - it’s about truth.
Write the sounds that spill when control is gone:
the fractured breath, the bitten-off gasp,
the low growl that wasn’t meant to escape.
Let the reader hear the quiver in a whisper, the broken syllable of a name,
the way pleasure changes a voice.
Don’t just write that they moaned -
write what the moan said.

 

[masterslave00]

In my humble opinion:

The vocalising of sex isn’t about volume - it’s about truth.
Write the sounds that spill when control is gone:
the fractured breath, the bitten-off gasp,
the low growl that wasn’t meant to escape.
Let the reader hear the quiver in a whisper, the broken syllable of a name,
the way pleasure changes a voice.
Don’t just write that they moaned -
write what the moan said.

 

[Actingup]

In my humble opinion:

The vocalising of sex isn’t about volume - it’s about truth.
Write the sounds that spill when control is gone:
the fractured breath, the bitten-off gasp,
the low growl that wasn’t meant to escape.
Let the reader hear the quiver in a whisper, the broken syllable of a name,
the way pleasure changes a voice.
Don’t just write that they moaned -
write what the moan said.

'THIS,' he yelled, and then covered his mouth in embarassment when she raised an eyebrow.

 

[Britva415]

'THIS,' he yelled, and then covered his mouth in embarassment when she raised an eyebrow.

It's worth talking about how this goes for non-verbal communication, too.

What did the raised eyebrow say?

 

[Carmina24]

It's worth talking about how this goes for non-verbal communication, too.

What did the raised eyebrow say?

I would like to know, too

 

[BellaBestia]

It’s one of those “tell don’t show” things - I’d rather a description of a gasp or a shudder or moan than see “oooohhhhh aohhhhhhhh! Hummmmm” this would just make me laugh and take me right out, and stop reading, sorry

 

[Britva415]

It’s one of those “tell don’t show” things - I’d rather a description of a gasp or a shudder or moan than see “oooohhhhh aohhhhhhhh! Hummmmm” this would just make me laugh and take me right out, and stop reading, sorry

Yeah. “Show, don’t tell” doesn’t work when the attempt fails to show, and doesn’t even achieve any telling either. So you might as well just tell plainly.

 

[DeMont]

@BellaBestia and @Britva415,
I'm so sorry but that made me think of a hilarious "show and tell" scene in a Monty Python movie. Please forgive me. Have you ever seen "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life"?
I'm so sorry.
Respectfully, always,
D.

 

[DeMont]

Have you seen the "How To" section on the Category page? https://www.literotica.com/c/adult-how-to

I have found articles there that helped me. Some I have favorited so I can easily return to read again.

Edit: Here is one I just found that i had previously missed. https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-get-started-writing

@dirk2024,
That's what I was aiming at dear colleague. There are many extremely well presented "How To" threads, posts on writing etiquette for Lit, examples of splendid methodology for writing specific things for lit but they are spread far and wide. In fact, even in my own searches I have missed certain posts/threads that I wished I'd picked up on but with the vast number of posts and threads to date all the best of the information may be in the realm of hidden gems. Do you think it would be possible to draw the majority together in one place as a "Manual", if you like, and how much benefit could both Lit, and new arrivals gain from that?
Deeply respectful, as always,
D.

 

[dirk2024]

@dirk2024,
That's what I was aiming at dear colleague. There are many extremely well presented "How To" threads, posts on writing etiquette for Lit, examples of splendid methodology for writing specific things for lit but they are spread far and wide. In fact, even in my own searches I have missed certain posts/threads that I wished I'd picked up on but with the vast number of posts and threads to date all the best of the information may be in the realm of hidden gems. Do you think it would be possible to draw the majority together in one place as a "Manual", if you like, and how much benefit could both Lit, and new arrivals gain from that?
Deeply respectful, as always,
D.

It could be made to be more accessible than it is now. I think that would be a Laurel thing, since she owns/admins the site. She or Manu would be the ones doing the work.

 

[AllenWoody]

The “AHHHHHHHH!!!”s and “OHHHHHMYYYYGODDDD!!!!”s get old pretty quickly. I tend to lean more towards this sort of thing: Through the maelstrom of her bliss, Rachel dimly became aware of ragged cries growing ever louder, ever more exultant, until she finally recognized the voice as her own.

Go on...

 

[AllenWoody]

@BellaBestia and @Britva415,
I'm so sorry but that made me think of a hilarious "show and tell" scene in a Monty Python movie. Please forgive me. Have you ever seen "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life"?
I'm so sorry.
Respectfully, always,
D.

As you can see I am now, more or less, erect.

 

[DeMont]

@StillStunned and @TarnishedPenny, also to all the others who kindly dropped by with pearls of wisdom... with my fingers crossed and heart in throat I have submitted a piece entitled "Cleavage" for publication. I have taken a load of advice (and a little criticism) on board and I have written what I believe is a "better" story for it. Thank you all so much.

Let's see how it flies shall we?
Deepest respects, always,
D.