Filthy answers to innocent questions.

You’ve mistaken aural sex for ORAL sex.
Now go wash out your ears.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
It wasn't because he was chicken, it's because he was strapped to a St Andrew's Cross awaiting his flogging.

Where is the windiest location on earth?
 
Where is the best place to view fall foliage?

the garden of eden.


Why are sailors called seamen?
 
Because after they go to sea, they're ready to cum in any port.

Why did Homer call the Aegean the Wine-Dark Sea?
I've heard sex dolls called many things before, but this is the first time I've heard them referred to as wind-up seats.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
 
That's techie code for sloppy seconds (you take one out and put another one in).

Why do electricians call the ends of a power cord male and female?
I don't know, but the last thing I want to be thinking about while working on live wires is putting the male thingy in the female thingy.

What is that thing where you cook a chicken stuffed inside of a duck stuffed inside of a turkey?
 
I don't know, but the last thing I want to be thinking about while working on live wires is putting the male thingy in the female thingy.

What is that thing where you cook a chicken stuffed inside of a duck stuffed inside of a turkey?
Isn't that called a fowl gangbang?

I'm lost. Which way to the changing room please.
 
There are many theories, but the truth is it is a clitoris, all those earthquakes are actually the earth having shuddering orgasms.

Why is the earth round?
 
The earth is round like the shape of a ben-wa ball, two inserted deep, held in place by pelvic muscles until they induce an earth-shattering orgasm.

How many rings surround Uranus?
 
It's when you've had one too many beverages and you decide to drop your pants at the window of a packed restaurant to greet the diners with a view of your feckless, but you start to lose your balance. As you try to steady yourself, the pants around your calves interfere with your corrective action and you fall over like an idiot. At least you now get a laugh and a cheer from the people dining.

Is there life beyond earth's moon?
 
It's when you've had one too many beverages and you decide to drop your pants at the window of a packed restaurant to greet the diners with a view of your feckless, but you start to lose your balance. As you try to steady yourself, the pants around your calves interfere with your corrective action and you fall over like an idiot. At least you now get a laugh and a cheer from the people dining.

Is there life beyond earth's moon?
Yes, and it's laughing at our half-assed pathos.

Is there life after death, or is that just some cheap oxymoron?
 
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