how hard is it to find a dominant man here?

[dvnily]

I mean, one that is not an asshole, but smart, strong and stable (emotionally, financially). Not for sadism, but to experiment within this category. Especially a man willing to be patient with you, since you're new to all of this.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Welcome to Lit! I hope you find what you seek...

There are plenty of dominant men in here...no doubt you'll be contacted very soon...if your PM's are opened up...

 

[dvnily]

pm opened? wdym?

 

[dawn_of_night]

He

pm opened? wdym?

means you're inbox will be flooded with messages from men telling you they're the one for you....

They're going to be every thing you "need"....

My advice go slow, be friends, figure it out as you go.... Don't take the first hotdog you find flaming....

Also. Welcome and good luck.

 

[dvnily]

thank you for your answer and advice.

very curious about this flooded inbox hahaha

 

[cocokittysurprise]

He
means you're inbox will be flooded with messages from men telling you they're the one for you....

They're going to be every thing you "need"....

My advice go slow, be friends, figure it out as you go.... Don't take the first hotdog you find flaming....

Also. Welcome and good luck.

This. Be very selective; actually hold regular convos with them before hopping straight into D/s talk.
A lot of the so-called "doms" on this site are laughably bad and obviously inexperienced (coming from a female dominant).

If you have questions about red flags to look out for, don't hesitate to reach out. I always want anyone dipping their toes into the dynamic to be safe and confident in their interactions with folks, especially if you are new to this.

 

[dawn_of_night]

thank you for your answer and advice.

very curious about this flooded inbox hahaha

I mean ... Sometimes it takes a few days ...
The weekend is slow sometimes.
If you're truly looking find a safe space to hang out with "your people"
Ie: subs, brats, littles, bbws??
I dunno there are all kinds of categories here....
And....
You're in the playground so it's going to be more flirty and playful .... Than the BDSM personals .... Imo.

 

[dvnily]

This. Be very selective; actually hold regular convos with them before hopping straight into D/s talk.
A lot of the so-called "doms" on this site are laughably bad and obviously inexperienced (coming from a female dominant).

If you have questions about red flags to look out for, don't hesitate to reach out. I always want anyone dipping their toes into the dynamic to be safe and confident in their interactions with folks, especially if you are new to this.

tthis is very nice of you. i might take you up on that indeed. I'm more than new to this, I'm before new, haha

 

[dawn_of_night]

tthis is very nice of you. i might take you up on that indeed. I'm more than new to this, I'm before new, haha

It's okay to be new.
Everybody starts somewhere

 

[dvnily]

I mean ... Sometimes it takes a few days ...
The weekend is slow sometimes.
If you're truly looking find a safe space to hang out with "your people"
Ie: subs, brats, littles, bbws??
I dunno there are all kinds of categories here....
And....
You're in the playground so it's going to be more flirty and playful .... Than the BDSM personals .... Imo.

I think I got half of what you said. Jeez, I'm very out of the game.

 

[Noor]

very curious about this flooded inbox hahaha

You’re female, fresh meat, and you asked a question that implies you are looking, but mainly you are female on a board that is mostly male.

 

[SexyAruna]

We want you here!

 

[CuriousRick]

I mean, one that is not an asshole, but smart, strong and stable (emotionally, financially). Not for sadism, but to experiment within this category. Especially a man willing to be patient with you, since you're new to all of this.

Take your time. Make sure you feel comfortable. Lots of men in here but I am ashamed to say most aren’t sincere. So good luck in your search. Hang out, make friends, ask questions, and have fun . Welcome to lit!

 

[ty5550]

Some good advice here. Definitely take it slow, there can be a lot of manipulative assholes on the internet. I'm not perfect either and still learning somethings about myself. Chat and get to know someone first before getting too personal, even then always be careful. Just try to take it light and easy at first, have some fun and experiment.

 

[MagicFlute]

I mean, one that is not an asshole, but smart, strong and stable (emotionally, financially). Not for sadism, but to experiment within this category. Especially a man willing to be patient with you, since you're new to all of this.

The true Dominant is out there. And there seems to be more of us on this site than most others. But we do seem to be a rare creature and most are already with a Submissive.

I also find it difficult to find intelligent Submissives. Though, once again there seems to be a higher number of them on this site. Subs who can hold a conversation, who have independent thoughts and are a little bit bratty because they know they can push the limits without being disrespectful. Maybe, I just expected too much from my Littles

 

[SirSparky]

I mean, one that is not an asshole, but smart, strong and stable (emotionally, financially). Not for sadism, but to experiment within this category. Especially a man willing to be patient with you, since you're new to all of this.

Im new to this lifestyle and willing to learn together with a new submissive woman. Please pm if you want to discuss further

 

[dvnily]

You’re female, fresh meat, and you asked a question that implies you are looking, but mainly you are female on a board that is mostly male.

true, and yet nothing...

 

[dvnily]

The true Dominant is out there. And there seems to be more of us on this site than most others. But we do seem to be a rare creature and most are already with a Submissive.

I also find it difficult to find intelligent Submissives. Though, once again there seems to be a higher number of them on this site. Subs who can hold a conversation, who have independent thoughts and are a little bit bratty because they know they can push the limits without being disrespectful. Maybe, I just expected too much from my Littles

Haha, from your littles?
Intelligent people are going extinct, not just dominant men.
I did try other sites, but I like the atmosphere here better. On one of them, I wrote that I wanted a man who could hold not only an erection, but also a conversation. (Surprise surprise, no reactions.) And honestly? I still don’t know which is harder to find. lol

 

[MagicFlute]

Haha, from your littles?
Intelligent people are going extinct, not just dominant men.
I did try other sites, but I like the atmosphere here better. On one of them, I wrote that I wanted a man who could hold not only an erection, but also a conversation. (Surprise surprise, no reactions.) And honestly? I still don’t know which is harder to find. lol

Common sense is so rare it should break counted as a superpower!

I have a friend also looking for a Dom. She sends me their profiles to vet because there are so many fakes out there and she wants another opinion on them. She has been burnt so many times. I do feel for you

 

[dvnily]

Common sense is so rare it should break counted as a superpower!

I have a friend also looking for a Dom. She sends me their profiles to vet because there are so many fakes out there and she wants another opinion on them. She has been burnt so many times. I do feel for you

ooh, burnt how? and how do you vet them?

 

[Tedfkats]

Good luck here.
Just be careful.
The advice you got is solid.

 

[Tedfkats]

And honestly? I still don’t know which is harder to find. lol

I see what you did there.
I know I know. Low hanging fruit.

 

[dawn_of_night]

I think I got half of what you said. Jeez, I'm very out of the game.

You can always pm me if your comfortable

 

[MagicFlute]

ooh, burnt how? and how do you vet them?

She had spent a few days messaging him on a different site and he was pushing for a meet. She said let's meet at a coffee shop and he tried to "command" her to go to his place. When she declined, he said she wasn't a good sub and needed to be punished to be taught a lesson.

Another guy demanded a nude photo on first contact to "prove she was a true sub"

On the other hand, one guy she met for coffee was apparently very wishy washy and kept asking her if it was ok to order for her and when she asked what he expected of her, he said things and then stuttered and asked if that was alright with her. (Very low self confidence).

If she has been talking to someone, she will send me copies of the conversation to read to see if I can pick up any red flags. I will point things out and tell her to watch herself on those issues. Most of the time I turn out to be right. If I like the way he's talking and the direction of his intentions I'll tell her to give it a chance.

Another One of My ex Littles did the same thing and she is now with an amazing man. Learning to be a Dom but doing everything the right way.

Remembering of course that every dynamic is different. And there is a
right Dom for every Sub and Vice Versa

 

[barefootgirl69]

I mean, one that is not an asshole, but smart, strong and stable (emotionally, financially). Not for sadism, but to experiment within this category. Especially a man willing to be patient with you, since you're new to all of this.

It won't be hard at all to find someone who calls themselves "dominant". The hard part is weeding through them to find out if you're compatible.

Take your time getting to know them. You don't have to choose someone the first week. Be selective. Also, if you think something is good and it falls apart, don't get discouraged. Learn from it. Use it as a tool to grow.

All the advice from @dawn_of_night and @cocokittysurprise and @Noor is good advice.