Daddy vs simp

[VerbalAbuse]

No matter what you call him, if the core of the dynamic is him bending to her desires, prioritizing her feelings, then he's the doormat. Maybe a well-dressed, confident, leather-clad doormat -- but a doormat nonetheless.

The “daddy” fantasy might dress it up with dominance or control, but if the woman sets the tone, gets the attention, and holds the emotional leverage -- it’s the same type of submission.

 

[PennyThompson]

Relationships and sex don't need to be a zero sum game, you know. There doesn't have to be a winner and a loser, both partners can actually enjoy their roles and love each other

 

[lovecraft68]

The “daddy” fantasy might dress it up with dominance or control, but if the woman sets the tone, gets the attention, and holds the emotional leverage -- it’s the same type of submission.

Tell me you have no understanding of Dom/sub without saying it.

Newsflash, the sub sets the limits, not the dom. Even in CNC fantasies the role play victim still sets where the line is drawn.

I know that hurts your fragile ego, but that's the game. Why? Because actual Doms-or the daddy dom game-actually care about their partner. Going the other way is abuse in real life means the abuser "ahem, dom in your opinion" doesn't care about consent. They call that assault.

I think you should take your opinion to the BDSM forum and see how it flies.

Meanwhile, I do owe you a thank you for being proof of my saying that on a site like this a large faction of male readers are here for "Bitch, get on your knees" in various forms from that's the only acceptable BDSM to every woman a simpering cum dumpster who loses their mind at the site of such a stud.

There's an expression "Weak men fear strong women" and here it seems weak men fear women who are actual partners and not fuck toys even in fiction.

All I know is you would hate my writing. The nerve of women having their own minds in a story and a say in what happens during sexual encounters.

__________________

 

[NuclearFairy]

Here is how it was once explained to me, the dom is the caretaker, the sub is the server. I've never been entirely sure how accurate that is, but from all of the healthier dom/sub stories I've read, it doesn't seem to be inaccurate.

 

[TheLobster]

it’s the same type of submission.

Not quite. It's actually more lopsided in the 'daddy' case than you make it to be.

Why? Because the daddy is performing a rare and sexually valuable role of dominant man. There is a notable gap -- you could call a market disparity -- between the demand for dominant men, spurred by the larger fraction of submissive woman, and the supply of man who are willing to perform this role in a relationship.

A daddy is, therefore, a valuable commodity, while simps are dime a dozen.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

A daddy is, therefore, a valuable commodity, while simps are dime a dozen.

Take Zola's Nana for an instance. The term simp did not exist in his time.
The men circling around Nana were... sugar daddies (also a modern term.)
Behind their back, she was referring to them in disparaging terms. Hurling insults in their wake.
To outsiders? They were simps.
Valuable commodity, you say? Absolutely. A gold mine.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

A sugar daddy and a daddy (as in daddy dom) are very separate types. So you can both be right.
A sugar daddy acts the submissive but holds the key. If he does not get what he pays for he seeks another babe from the lineup.

 

[nice90sguy]

There's an expression "Weak men fear strong women"

Never heard that expression, and it doesn't quite ring true to me. I think a lot of weak mean desire strong women.

My stories mostly explore the symbiotic or sometimes parasitical relationships that arise between men and women where money and sex are the currencies of power.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Never heard that expression, and it doesn't quite ring true to me. I think a lot of weak mean desire strong women.

My stories mostly explore the symbiotic or sometimes parasitical relationships that arise between men and women where money and sex are the currencies of power.

I suspect you and LC are talking about different kinds of "weak".

 

[Comshaw]

No matter what you call him, if the core of the dynamic is him bending to her desires, prioritizing her feelings, then he's the doormat. Maybe a well-dressed, confident, leather-clad doormat -- but a doormat nonetheless.

The “daddy” fantasy might dress it up with dominance or control, but if the woman sets the tone, gets the attention, and holds the emotional leverage -- it’s the same type of submission.

Perhaps, just perhaps you need to understand a few things. Because a man bends to his woman's wishes, makes sure she has her desires fulfilled doesn't mean he's a simp. A simp or as you put it a doormat, does but doesn't want to. They do so for any number of reasons, but the defining factor is they don't want to. On the other side is a man who does so because it makes them happy to see their woman happy. And the thing about dominance and control in the context you use it, they are a weak man's imitation of strength.

Additionally, you should read and heed this ↓ when both sides get what they want, are satisfied with the balance of things, then it's a win for everyone.

Relationships and sex don't need to be a zero sum game, you know. There doesn't have to be a winner and a loser, both partners can actually enjoy their roles and love each other

Comshaw

 

[lovecraft68]

I suspect you and LC are talking about different kinds of "weak".

100% but not worth the debate.

 

[lovecraft68]

I thought I saw in my notifications the OP quoted me, but its not here. I see someone else quoting them but the post they are quoting is no longer here so I guess they deleted some posts. Which normally I wouldn't think anything of, but when someone comes in swinging with ignorant opinions it feels different.

Interesting how someone projecting their dominance by denigrating men who are good to women can't stand by their own words. Interesting but not surprising

When a man tries to tell everyone else they're a simp, it means in his mind he's an alpha.

When someone proclaims themselves an alpha, they prove themselves anything but.

Another one blaming women and other men for their own insecurities.

 

[OddLove]

If you don't prioritize your 'submissives' feelings, you're not a dom, you're just an abusive person trying to hide inside of the kink community, and you should honestly just go away.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Labels can be useful to describe certain aspects of a relationship, but no two relationships are the same and it's most interesting relationships that you want to write about in fun erotic fiction rarely have anyone who is entirely the winner and someone who is entirely the loser. (Unless the writer has a 'loser' kink)

That's all I have to say on the matter, so have some music to fill out the rest of the time...

 

[lovecraft68]

If you don't prioritize your 'submissives' feelings, you're not a dom, you're just an abusive person trying to hide inside of the kink community, and you should honestly just go away.

Exactly. I'm a switch so its easy for me to see both sides of the coin, but I learned early on that it wasn't what stories and what you could find for porn in the BDSM theme back in the 80's portrayed. When she was the top, I gave her the limits of what I would take, when I would top, I was the one asking the limits. Unfortunately there are people that are getting away from this and there is a school of thought that consent no longer be one of the three rules of the game "safe, sane. consensual' and are now basically assaulting their partners who sadly seem to think this is how it works.

Thank you, 50 shades, for helping push this disinformation and Twilight for setting the tweens up to think stalking is sexy.

There was a poster here for a couple of years named Handsinthedark the most disgusting creep we ever saw here, when he finally left because he had some threads removed several women here posted that while he was here he was so bad they didn't feel safe posting in any of his threads.

Since that point, I won't let threads like this go by without contesting these opinions because here they are opinions, if this is what they are trying to push in real life its more serious and they should be called out.

ETA when I told that poster if he's such a dom to take his crap to the BDSM forum he did for one thread and was totally crucified by the people there who know how things work.

@ToPleaseHim watch for this one.

 

[Madxgirl]

I prefer my daddy to be at least in his late 50s.

 

[NoTalentHack]

“Fellas, is it gay to take care of people you care about?”

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

I strongly disagree with the OP. It is simply nonsense.

 

[Waiter519123]

I prefer my daddy to be at least in his late 50s.

That’s a great age of golden love

 

[wisguy281]

I prefer my daddy to be at least in his late 50s.

Hello Madxgirl,
I'm an older male in my late '50's if you like to chat.

 

[onehitwanda]

Sir! This is a pub, not a bordello!

 

[SimonDoom]

Love. Exciting and new.
Come aboard. We've been expecting you.

The Love Site . . .

 

[GrantBricksly]

No matter what you call him, if the core of the dynamic is him bending to her desires, prioritizing her feelings, then he's the doormat. Maybe a well-dressed, confident, leather-clad doormat -- but a doormat nonetheless.

The “daddy” fantasy might dress it up with dominance or control, but if the woman sets the tone, gets the attention, and holds the emotional leverage -- it’s the same type of submission.

As a Daddy in the kink world myself... I can assure you, you are so far off base on this that you may as well be talking about chess and playing go fish.

The role of a Daddy Dom is has nothing to do with "bending to her desires" at all. In fact quite the opposite. my wife, who is my little, has all kinds of desires and whims. And I'm sure she would love it (in the moment anyway) if I "bent to her every desire" But I don't. Because my job is to help set boundaries. My job is to help control her urges.

Think of it literally as a father figure. Did your father bend to your every wish and desire when you were a child? No, of course not. I'm sure (if he was a good father) he occasionally gave in and treated you to something nice. But he set limits for you.

That is what I do. I set limits. I know my little inside and out. I know her limits and I sometimes push those limits. But I also reign in her whims. I take care of her needs, physical, mental, sexual, and anything in-between.

Do I prioritize her feelings? Yes, to an extent. I put her feelings above my own. In the sense that i make sure she is taken care of before me. But not in the sense that I give her whatever she wants simply because she wants it.

And doing that... making sure she is taken care of before me, is really just being a good husband... while it is also a part of being a Daddy, it shouldn't matter, because being a good partner means taking care of you SO's needs before your own.

She sets her limits when it comes to Hard/soft limits in sex. As do I. And we both respect those limits.

You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about when it comes to Daddy/little relationships. and Dom/sub relationships. If you are speaking from experience, then I am truly sorry, you have been with horrible partners. Otherwise, I'm not sure where you are getting your information from, but it is wrong, or you are misinterpreting it.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Sir! This is a pub, not a bordello!

That explains the incessant drinking.

 

[Jmanchu]

No matter what you call him, if the core of the dynamic is him bending to her desires, prioritizing her feelings, then he's the doormat. Maybe a well-dressed, confident, leather-clad doormat -- but a doormat nonetheless.

The “daddy” fantasy might dress it up with dominance or control, but if the woman sets the tone, gets the attention, and holds the emotional leverage -- it’s the same type of submission.

That only is true if there is no "give and take" in the relationship. A simp isn't a man that is willing to give and prioritize the girl he loves and her feelings. Whether a man is a simp or not is defined by the relationship between him and his love, and how much she gives back. If a man gives his all to a woman, and she reciprocates, he's not a simp. If he gives and she doesn't give back, he's still not a simp necessarily. He's only a simp once it becomes a pattern, once he's made it clear he doesn't set boundaries for himself to please his lady love.

Mutual respect and understanding between two people and treating each other like people is the name of the game here. A simp is a simp when he is fine with being treated as less than for a girl that treats him that way. Just so he can get breadcrumbs of her attention. It's not about submission or domination, or if he's willing to prioritize her feelings, or make her desires come true.

You could be helplessly whipped and paddled in a gimp suit by a leather-clad woman who gets high on the feel of domination and pushing boundaries and you're not a simp because you are playing her submission game in bed for example. Just saying